Queen of Volturi
"Can I say something?" he asks. I tense. I don't turn around. "I promise after this I will do as you ask," he says. I nod. "Then get it all out now because if you tell me later I will have to replace you." "I can protect you better than anyone else," he exhales and his frustration shows in his voice. "And why is that?" "Because I love you more than anyone else does," he says simply. Tears come to my eyes again and without turning to face him or say anything back, I leave. Walking away from him that night was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.
1. Chapter 1
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Queen of Volturi (a Tragedy)
“I wish to reward you for your good deeds, what would you like? You want a new horse? Weapons? Anything, what do you want?” I ask him.
“Anything?” his eyes glaze over.
“Anything, as long as you’re still here protecting me, so don’t ask for a trip to Ireland or something,” I laugh, but he shakes his head and my smile disappears from confusion. “Well, what do you want, money? Books?”
He shakes his head. “Materialistic possessions, they’re useless,” he says, stepping towards me. “I don’t want money or weapons… at least not right now,” he says with absolute certainty.
“Then what do you want? Come on Edward, let me give you something,” I tell him.
He looks at the floor and shakes his head. I wait while he seems to be thinking.
“Well there is one thing,” he says shyly, sneaking a glance at me.
Amused with his sudden shyness, I smirk. “What is it? Tell me.”
He looks at me straight on then, and the intensity in his eyes makes my heart flutter. I quickly quell it though; no, I could not feel like that for him. I couldn’t feel like that for anybody. It was not allowed, not possible.
The sadness I felt from this thought must have shown on my face because Edward looks away from me and glances uncomfortably around the room at my guards.
“Guards, leave us.” I say automatically, without thought.
After they leave Edward doesn’t seem to know what to do. I have never seen him this uncomfortable before, this anxious.
“Edward, what is it? Come on, you’ve never acted like this before. Just tell me what you want.” I say.
He looks at me again and his anxiousness is replaced with a look of determination. “Can we go somewhere else?” He asks.
Surprised, I say hesitantly, “Where would you like to go?” But he doesn’t answer; instead he comes closer and grabs my hand.
“Come with me,” he whispers and gently pulls on my hand as he leads me to the staircase and up the stairs.
As we’re walking I realize that I would not do this for any other person but Edward. I trust him completely, and that scares me.
He leads me to his room and I’m immediately uncomfortable. This was something personal.
He shuts the door behind me and he puts his hands on my coat’s shoulders and gently tugs. I stretch my arms out for him, allowing him to remove it.
I felt vulnerable, something I’m not used to feeling. I am the King’s daughter. I know how to defend myself. I know about all different kinds of weapons and how to use them. I have been trained since I was a little girl how to be beautiful and my body is as perfect as it could ever be. I was raised to be flawless. Anything under perfection is not tolerated in my family. I don’t feel vulnerable, I am Isabella Swan, the future Queen of Volturi, I’m used to being in control, and yet just being in Edward’s room, hell in his very presence makes me feel like I no longer have control over my emotions, over my feelings; and when he touches me, I feel like I no longer have control over my body.
I shiver as his fingers graze over my bare shoulders when taking off my coat. I am now only cloaked in my dress.
After he takes off my coat I turn around to see him take his off. When he finishes his eyes trail up my body before resting on my face and I have never, in the seven years I’ve known him, seen such tenderness and desire in his eyes. He is my bodyguard, a warrior; he’s not allowed to show tenderness or desire, just like I am not allowed to love.
It is in that tender look that I finally realize what Edward wants.
I shake my head twice slowly and I take a step back. “Edward,” I warn.
“Bella,” he whispers back, desire evident in his voice. He takes a step towards me.
Oh no. My eyes narrow at his use of my name. No one but my family and close friends are allowed to call me Bella. It’s Isabella to those who work for me.
He notices the hardening in my eyes and shakes his head defiantly. “No,” he says, desperation making his voice angry, “No! You said anything,” he closes the difference between us before I can back away and kisses me.
His kiss is full of so many different emotions, it makes my head spin. He’s forceful, yet at the same time, he keeps the kiss tender, reverent. I didn’t even know it was possible to have those two emotions together until then. But above all, he’s desperate. Desperation is one of the most dangerous emotions you can have. Desperation makes you do things you wouldn’t do otherwise and Edward is definitely being bold. His desperation is also making him frustrated.
Frustration is also a very dangerous emotion.
I let him kiss me, one because I’m afraid of what he will do if I back away. I am not afraid that he will hurt me purposefully; he loves me, he will never do that. But because he’s so desperate he could hurt me accidentally. The second reason I let him kiss me is a very foolish reason indeed: it felt good.
He pulls away for a moment from the kiss, but I can’t move because he’s unconsciously holding me to him. He pants softly and he closes his eyes and rests his forehead on mine. I keep my eyes open. His expression is blissful; I hardly ever see that expression on his face. “Bella,” he breathes my name as if I am the key to end his suffering.
The way he says it, makes me realize what we’re doing. We couldn’t do this! They would kill us both! Fear overcomes me and I break his embrace and back up to the wall. I half wish to leave, but I know that Edward is not seeing reason right now and he would follow me. He lets me break his embrace though, even though he’s much stronger than me and could have kept me to him, so I know that he will not force me.
His expression is tormented as I back away from him. He looks like he’s in agony and I have to look away. I look down to my left. Unfortunately, this is where his bed is and fear clouds me again.
I don’t realize that I have let my defenses down until Edward is two feet in front of me and I squeeze my eyes shut. My senses automatically sharpen and I feel as if Edward’s scent is smothering me and I open my eyes.
In that moment, I have never been so afraid in my life. Not afraid of Edward, but afraid of my feelings. I knew in that moment that I was in love with him too. Dread fills me at this realization. If anyone found out about this we would be prosecuted. I could not let that happen. I force my feelings deep inside of me and I shut them in so they could not resurface.
“Edward we cannot do this. We will not do this.” I say, looking him straight in the eye, my tone full of authority. He looks right back at me, his face full of determination. I have to take control of this situation before it gets out of hand.
“Edward, I will not do this. You are not to ever kiss me again.”
He shakes his head angrily.
“You defy my orders?” I ask him, dread feeling me; I do not want to have to have him punished. He knows this, he’s challenging me.
He cocks an eyebrow.
Okay this isn’t working. I decide to change tactic, punishment will be my last resort.
“Edward,” I sigh. “You know we can’t do this, it’s against the law.”
“I don’t give a damn about the law!”
“Do you want to get us both killed?!” I say, my voice rising.
This silences him for a moment.
Then his eyes light up. “We could keep it a secret,” he says. “Nobody would know.”
I let out a breath. “That isn’t possible and you know it, we wouldn’t be able to hide like that for long.”
“Yes, we could, I’m your bodyguard, and I’m never to leave you during the day. I’m the only one who has that obligation, it would be easy,” he speaks quickly and his tone rises from excitement. “We could be together when we go places, I could-”
I cut him off “Edward, stop! Think about what you’re saying! It’s not possible; Volturi surrounds us everywhere we go! You’re not thinking clearly.” I pause, pain shoots through me at my next thought and I brace myself before speaking of it. “Edward, someone else, anyone else. You can have anyone in the castle, I will order her to please you, you could even have more than one girl, just name them. Anyone but me,” I say, and my voice is beginning to get desperate.
His face fills with revulsion and anger and before I know it he closes the space between us and his arms are on either side of my head, pinning me between him and the wall. “I don’t want anyone else! How can you even say that?” His voice and face are full of disgust and tears form in my eyes.
Oh no. I can’t cry. I do not cry. I can’t show weakness. So I do my best to hold them in but it’s too late and they fall.
Edward looks at me in horror. He has only seen me cry a few times.
I try to turn my head away from him so he can’t see me but he won’t allow it. I try to raise my hand to wipe my tears away but he grabs my wrist, not hard, but to stop my actions.
He brings his hands up to cup my face. They’re shaking as his thumbs caress my cheeks and he leans forward and kisses my tears away. When he pulls his face back to look at me, that look of tenderness fills his face again and it makes my knees weak. He leans his forehead to mine.
“Bella,” he breathes and he looks in my eyes and then looks at my lips. He looks back up into my eyes again and whispers, “Bella, please.”
I know what he is asking and tears come to my eyes again. I give a small nod. His eyes light up with hope. “Only one more.” I say and he brings his lips back to mine in a sweet, tender kiss. He takes my top lip into his mouth and sucks gently and then he pushes his tongue out and press against my lips, seeking entrance. I open my mouth and as he meets my tongue with his, he groans.
I sigh and pull away. He lets me and I move back to the door, to put as much space between us as possible.
“Edward,” I whisper. “If you cannot keep your emotions in check I will replace you with a different bodyguard and you will go protect my father instead.”
His green eyes narrow, and his jaw tightens.
“If you can keep your emotions in check then we will need to set up the old rules. I have been too lenient when it comes to what you’re supposed to do and what you’re not supposed to do. We have crossed too many lines and if you stay as my bodyguard they will have to be redrawn.”
I pause and watch his face, but he finally understands the seriousness of this and he keeps his face blank, free of emotion.
“Can you keep your emotions in check?” I ask.
“Yes,” he answers through gritted teeth.
“Then from now on I am the future Queen of Volturi and you are my bodyguard and we’re going to start acting like it. Do not show affection for me anymore. Do not call me Bella, it’s Isabella. And please Edward, don’t defy me, I will punish you.”
I pause but he doesn’t say anything.
“I don’t want to punish you,” I say. “Are we clear?”
“Crystal, Isabella,” he answers.
I turn around slowly to get my coat, putting a lot of trust in him to take my eyes off of him in the situation. I know he realizes how much trust I put in him when I turn back to look at his face. After studying his face for a moment I say goodnight and turn to leave.
“Can I say something?” he asks.
I tense. I don’t turn around.
“I promise after this I will do as you ask,” he says.
I nod. “Then get it all out now, because if you tell me later I will have to replace you.”
“I can protect you better than anyone else,” he exhales and his frustration shows in his voice.
“And why is that?”
“Because I love you more than anyone else does,” he says simply.
Tears come to my eyes again and without turning to face him or saying anything back, I leave.
Walking away from him that night was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do.