Bound to You
The Cullen's have left Forks after Bella's eighteenth birthday because Edward wanted to protect her. They left her in harm's way, where Victoria found her all alone. Victoria left her for dead, but Victoria actually turned Isabella Swan into a blood-thirsty vampire. Since she hasn't been seen in years, everyone assumes she is dead, but when Jake sees Bella, he imprints and nearly loses himself. What will happen between the vampire and the werewolf, especially since Bella can't remember Jake?
9. And you know it's really hard to be me.
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When she smiled shyly when I looked at her, she slid a hand up into my dark, short locks, and I grinned back at her. I honestly had no idea what I was going to do to prove that being a vampire would have its benefits. Yeah, things were a bit awry for Bella, and I would do anything to make her smile and just happy.
"Are you two comin' or are you going to make out like horny teenagers?" Emily chided as she opened the door to reveal her standing at the entrance of the house with a silly smile. "I know you don't eat, Bella, but –"
"No, I can eat, but I just can never taste food nowadays," she shrugged when she stood up to her feet. "But I'll eat at least some of that pasta I saw you cooking earlier."
"Aw, she's a keeper, Jacob. I like her," Emily grinned as she turned around, walking back into the house, leaving the door cracked open.
"Do you talk to her about me?"
"Always, Bella. I always talk about you with Emily and Sam," I said with a wink, leading her into the house, and shutting it behind us when we walked towards the dining room.
Five days had passed since the pack and Emily had moved into the house, but there was a problem with me as well even if I didn't want to admit it. It was hard – really more hard than I even thought about it. I was a damn bloodsucker. I used to want to be one, but now, it was something that I really, really hated. From what my journal had stated, right before Edward and I had broke up, I wanted to be a vampire. God, I had been such a fool, because this wasn't what I wanted. No, I personally hated what I was, and I wish there was something that I could do to be human or just not a vampire.
"Bella, are you all right?"
I turned my head to see Emily and Leah was right behind her. The only real girl friends that I really had were Alice, Angela, and Jessica. Then again, I wasn't really a fan of Jessica. At least, that's what my stupid journal had stated when I had read it. The guys had gone patrolling a few hours ago. Rachel had gone shopping with a few friends and Leah had stayed to keep Emily 'safe' from me. I wasn't upset at Leah for staying, but being a vampire, it was something that I was really hating more and more by each passing day.
"Uh, yeah, I'm fine."
"Bella, I took psychology in college, so I know when someone is lying to me."
"Damn, I feel sorry for Sam when he's trying to hide something from you."
"Don't try to change the subject, Bella. Tell us what's going on with you."
As I stepped aside from the entrance of my bedroom, I watched Emily and Leah come into the room, sitting down on the edge of the bed. The two of them seemed so calm and relaxed when they were around me. The only one that still had a problem with me was Paul. Yeah, he didn't verbally attack him, but Paul was right. I was a vampire, they were werewolves, and I was supposed to be their sworn enemy.
"It's really nothing, you guys. I am just thinking about the living situation, hoping that Paul won't do anything to upset Jake, and –"
"You are a really horrible liar," Emily said with a snicker as she looked over at me and she walked up to me, grasping my cold wrists in her hands. "Is it really that bad, Bella?"
I sighed as I slipped my arms out of her grasp gently and I leaned back against the dresser. "Emily… Leah, it's fucking horrible. I'm really am disgusted by what I am. I can't sleep, eat, cry, and I know it bothers Jacob too. Being a vampire, I can't blush like you two. I just wish I was human. I miss the human qualities too."
"Oh, Bella, I'm so sorry that you are going through this," Leah said softly as she stepped forward and she grabbed my hand softly in her tight grip. "Does Jake know how you feel?"
"You can't tell him. I don't want to burden him with my problems."
"Bella, since Jake imprinted on you, your problems are just as much as they are his, and vice versa," Emily said with a sigh leaving her lips as she looked at me. "How long have you been feeling this way?"
"The last couple of months is how long I've hated what I am, actually. I just haven't thought about it much," I said with a shrug as I looked at the two of them.
Emily and Leah led me out the bedroom. "We should get you all happy and smiling. Why don't you help Leah and me make brownies and dinner?"
"It's not like I can taste it," I said with a frown leaving my lips as I looked over at the two of them when we entered the kitchen. "I could watch the two of you and –"
"No, you're helping. Besides, I'm not much of a cook, and Jake told us you used to cook for your dad, so –"
Emily's sternness was shocking when Leah lowered her gaze to me.
"I'm sorry, Bella," Leah said apologetically as she looked at me and she sighed. "I don't think before I act. What I am trying to say is Emily won't let me help cook because well… last time, I ate everything, and well, the guys weren't happy with me."
"They were more than not happy," Emily said with a shake of her head. "Embry thought it was funny. Then again, he did imprint on you. Whenever I cook, Leah's my taste tester, but since you're here, Bella, we could finish cooking."
"I guess I could help, Emily. What are we cooking?"
I was tired and starving. We had all finished patrolling in Seattle, La Push, and Forks when we all met up to go back home together. We all knew without a doubt that Bella wouldn't hurt Emily. Well, almost everyone was so sure of Bella not hurting Emily. It had taken us twenty minutes to leave the house because Paul was so concerned about Emily getting hurt by Bella. Sam, Embry, and me had to pull him out by his arms and legs. It was like Sam's Alpha voice didn't do anything and that was a huge problem.
I looked to my left to see Embry standing beside me, and a moment later, Quil moved in next to me. They both had smiles on their faces. I had not hung out with them in the longest time, since Bella had disappeared when the Cullens had left.
"Why are you apologizing to me, Embry?"
Embry chuckled. "Paul – he's a hardheaded ass, and I think in time, he might get used to Bella."
I looked at him like he was crazy. "You must be on something because we all know that he won't get used to her."
"How are you so sure?" Embry asked with a raised eyebrow.
I rolled my eyes at Embry's words, shaking my head. "Embry, he's Paul, and he is a dick. He doesn't care about anyone but himself and Rachel. He's got her so wrapped her up around his dick that she's siding with him against me. I'm so sick of his shit, and I swear, if he even looks at Bella the wrong way, he's in for a rude wake up call. I will get him thrown out."
"It's Bella's house and she is the one that invited him to live here," Quil stated as he looked at me. "He's here for good whether you like it or not, Jake."
I grumbled as I kicked a few rocks out of my way. Quil was right even if I didn't want to admit it. God, I hated it. I just despised the fact that Paul was in this house. I knew Bella was a good person, but this just topped the cake. It made me realize just how exponentially cool she really was. She was my best friend, but she was also the woman that I was madly in love with.
Bella had been quiet lately, and that wasn't the girl that I knew. I knew that something was up and I would be determined to find out what was wrong with her.
"I feel really bad for her, Leah," Emily said with a sigh as she placed the plate of steaks on the table and she shook her head. "I don't like seeing her so sad."
"I blame her ex-boyfriend. I really think if he didn't pursue her, she wouldn't have been turned into a vampire."
"Maybe you are right about that, Leah."
"No, I am right. If Bella and Edward didn't date, James wouldn't have gone after her, and Edward wouldn't have killed Victoria's mate to make that red headed bitch come after Bella, who turned her. It's all sick I tell you. Em, I am just glad that she's got such a great thirst for blood to not hurt you."
"Yeah," Emily sighed as she placed a pan of pasta down on the table. "I just can't imagine what she's going through."
"She hates what she is and honestly, I don't blame her. Who would enjoy being a vampire? You wouldn't be able to go out in the sunlight for one. Your skin is ice cold… and well, I like my sunlight, and being cold all that time would be –"
"Leah, you're insane," Emily said with a laugh as she turned to her. "Do you think the boys are back?"
Before Leah had a chance, I quickly walked away, and I knocked on Leah and Embry's door. When he opened it, I quickly walked inside, shutting the door behind me.
"Dude, what the hell is going on? You look like you're going to shit your pants."
"That's disgusting," I said as I made a face and I leaned back against the door after I locked the door.
Embry laughed. "I didn't mean it literally but what's with you, Jake?"
I sighed as I raked a hand through my hair and I slid down the length of the door to the floor. I was a fucking mess and it was only because I had eavesdropped on Emily and Leah's conversation. I normally was not a snooper but this time I couldn't help it. As I looked over at my best friend, I let an agitated sigh leave my lips.
"I know what's going on with Bella."
Embry's eyes widened as he sat down across from me, his hands behind him. "Man Jake… it must be pretty bad to make you look like shit."
I raked my hand through my hair and I stared at him. "Basically, to make a long story short… my Bella hates what she is, Embry, and there's nothing that me or anyone could do."
Embry slid his hands onto his knees and he frowned. "Damn, Jake, I'm sorry. I don't even know what to say about that. Have you talked to Bella about it?"
I shook my head. "No, I don't even know where to start, either. I am pretty sure that I can come up with something sooner or later."
"Let's hope that it would be sooner," Embry mumbled.
I sighed heavily as I looked at Jacob's sleeping form. We had a huge fight and I knew that everyone had heard us because I remember seeing their faces when I had left. The walls weren't exactly bulletproof. God, I wanted to hurt Leah and Emily for talking about my personal life, but I would never lay a hand on them. They were my friends and they obviously cared about my well being. I was so honored to have such kind and caring friends like them.
"Jake, just drop it. I don't want to talk about it anymore," I said as I opened the door to leave the bedroom.
"We haven't even talked about it at all!" Jacob groaned as he threw his hands up in the air. "We need to talk about your fears, Bells."
"I don't have no fears. I'm invincible."
Yeah right! No one was invincible. I just wanted him to forget about this. When I came home, he had grabbed my arm, and he dragged me to our bedroom. That was forty-five minutes ago and I just wanted this to stop.
"Ha, right! No one is invincible, Bella. Why won't you just open up to me?"
"There's nothing to say, Jacob. I hate being a vampire. There's nothing you can do. End of story."
"Like hell there isn't!" Jacob snapped as he stalked over to me and he grasped my cold wrist in his hand. "We need to talk about this like two adults."
"You heard me, Jake. I said no. Do I need to spell it out for you?"
Before he had a chance to say anything, I walked out the room, seeing everyone in the hallway, and I stormed out of the house. I needed to get a deep breath. There was no need for me to stay here anymore. Jake and I need to cool off for a bit right now.
The more that I looked at Jacob, the more angry I felt at myself. I knew he just wanted to help me out. He always wanted to help me and I knew it was a lot more than just my imprint that he had done so. Jake was my absolute everything – my reason for wanting to leave. I just haven't done anything to let him know that.
"Jake," I sighed as I shook him lightly but he didn't move. "He must be exhausted."
As exhausted as he was, I knew that we needed to have this talk. I laid down next to Jacob, cuddling close to him, and I pressed my face into his neck.
"Jacob, wake up, please. We need to talk. I… I want to talk," I whispered with my teeth brushing against his neck teasingly.
That was the biggest mistake I could have made because the next thing I remembered was Jacob pushing me on my back, calling me a bloodsucker and his sharp, ravenous teeth clamped down into my neck, pain washing throughout my body as blood began to ooze from my neck.
- And so, Bella Swan lives another day.
- A cry out for destiny.
- Choosing our destiny isn't easy.
- Strawberries and freesia never smelled so bad.
- In the end, it's your choice.
- You mean more to me than you can imagine.
- You make my heart beat so fast.
- And she keeps surprising me.
- And you know it's really hard to be me.
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