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Lost and Found in Him

When Renesmee learns the truth about Jacob, she doesn't know how to handle it. She runs away, and goes all around the world, trying to find out who she is. She has always felt like she never fit in anywhere, and never really knew who she truely was. Will Jacob be able to convince her to come home and be with him? Or will she stay away forever?


4. Chapter 4

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She had been gone for over a week and it was killing me. I couldnt stop thinking about her. I figured she wouldve came home by now. I was starting to think that i would never see her again. The past few days have been the hardest days of my life. I'd spent them in pain and agony. Nothing about me felt the same. My imprint had left after she found out my secret. I didnt understand.

Was she scared to love me, or of me loving her? I couldnt get a grip on things. I had went to talk to Edward, and he said no one had heard from her and that yesterday Alice just up and left with no explination and only said she would return home in a few days. I had hoped that she had went to find Nessie. I wanted to, but Edward said that would only scare her off even more. He was right. She was her mothers daughter thats for sure. If she didnt want to be found, she would hide really well. It took everything i had not to go looking for her.

I was done with patrol so i phased and put my shorts i had tied to my ankel on and walked out to my bike. Right about the time I had reached the edge of the woods, I caught a formilar sent. I couldnt be sure if my nose was playing tricks on me or not, so i took off running towards the sent.

I saw her leaning against my bike and when she saw me she flew forward, almost knocking me to the ground when she embraced me into a hug. I picked her up and spun her in circles, so happy she was finally back in my arms. She had come back to me. I breathed in deep before setting her down to face me. I looked at her for a moment before she threw her arms around my neck pulling my face to hers to kiss me.

The kiss shocked me. The force her lips pressed against mine showed me she had missed me just as much as i had missed her. She traced my bottom lip with her tongue begging for interence that i gave her. My tongue explored her mouth, and I started getting high from the kiss.

Sure Nessie and I had kissed before, but this kiss blowed the others away. Something was different with this kiss. Something felt different witht the girl i was kissing. I knew she would change while she was gone, but i never expected this kind of change.

She broke the kiss my whispering on my lips, "Ive missed you."

"I missed you as well.." Before i had time to say anything else, she pulled me to the bike and she got on and started it. She looked back at me so i got on behind her, unsure of where we were going.

She drove down to the beach where we always went when we would talk. I started to get nervous, wondering what she was going to say. I was unsure of so much at the moment, that my head was spinning.

She held my hand while we walked along the edge of the water barefoot. She kept her eyes on the water, mostly watching the waves. Her hair was soflty being blown behind her my the wind and the sun was making her glitter slightly. She didnt glitter as much as the others, or as bright. It was a soft, gentle glitter. She was dazzling. She turned her face towards me and smiled with her chocolate brown eyes and flashing her beautiful teeth.

"When mom told me about her past with you, and how you imprinted on me when i was born, it was hurtful to know you would keep that from me with us being so close. You had explained how imprinting worked so many times, and i figured that you would have told me about it. I felt like no body understood me here. I felt like i didnt understand myself, either. I went to so many other countries, hoping i would find myself there. Hoping i would find understanding, love. It wasnt until I was walking along the beach on isle esme that i realized, the entire time i was looking for myself, when i left myself here. I left myself with you. I left the understanding and the love i was looking for with you. I was thinking about what you told me, the day i left. You'd always love me. I understand know that you really mean it, but not because of some stupid cursed imprint, but because even if you hadnt imprinted me you would still love me. And I now realize, nothings more important then that. Nothings more important then you."

I couldnt breathe. My heart swelled up as a tear fell from her eye. Nessie hardly ever cried, and here she was, telling me that she loved me, and she was crying. I pulled her to me and she rested her head on my shoulder. I was so confused about why she was crying, but i pulled her face to look at me.

"Renesmee Carlie Cullen, of course i would love you even if i hadnt imprinted on you. And, yes i did have a past with your mom. I loved her very much, I still do, but i didnt know what the love i had for her meant until i saw you. The love i have for her is as a best friend, but nothing more. I'll always meant what i said that day. And you can forget anything you want to about me, but never forget that. Never forget that i will always and always have loved you." I said.

It started to rain, but neither of us cared. We stood there as i held her close and we enjoyed the moment. I never wanted to let her go, ever. I never wanted to forget this moment. Nessie moved her hand to my cheek about to show me something, and she replayed her trips. I watched as she showed me all the countries she went to, she showed me her writing letters to Alice, all the fun she had, and all the nights alone she spent wide awake thinking about who she really is, all the nights she missed me. She showed me how all the guys staring at her and how it made her feel uncomfortable because none of them where me.

When she was done flashing images into my head she reached up on her tippy toes and kissed me where we had left off from earlier, and i smiled as wide as i had in days.


Yesterday was easier then i had expected. No body was mad at me, but Aunt Alice had me replay my trip to her about a thousand times. Mom wouldnt let me out of her site for hours and couldnt stop hugging me, and Dad kept asking questions about the places i visited. Grandma Esme asked me if i enjoyed her island and Grandpa kept telling me again and again that he swore i had grown but every time he meausered me i was the same as last time.

Aunt Rosalie was a little mad that i had asked Aunt Alice to keep my notes a secret from her, but she understood the thoughts of them where unsafe. Uncle Jasper thought it was an impressive like sceem i had come up with to write letters to Aunt Alice. Uncle Emmett asked if i had missed wrestling with him. haha.

But the entire day, I was thinking about Jacob. Talking to him was a lot easier then i thought it wouldve been. I hadnt realized how much i missed him. He was suppose to come over today around three. I looked at the clock beside my bed, it was five minutes till two. I was sittin at my dest on the computer. I shut it down and went to take a shower. When I got out i wrapped a towel around my hair and body and went to my room. My phone viberated on my desk with a text.

Change of plans dear, if you dont mind, wear something fancy, ill be there at six thirty when i get off patrol and get ready. Im going to take you out tonight. Love, J

I replied back with,

How fancy, like clean normal clothes, or a dress kinda fancy?

It was about the time that i put my phone down that i got the next message.

dress facny :) and plan on getting treated like a princess :)

my reply:

(: Jake, what is all of this about?

You'll see tonight, love. its a suprise. I've got to get back to patrol now. Lovee <3

Lovee <3

I walked to my closet and found Aunt Alice in the dress section matching earings with heels and heels to dresses. She threw a dress to me with earings, a clutch and heels. "Go on now, Try it on." She said.

I smiled and said thanks.

"Well you have nothing to be thankful for if your not going to help me out here and try that on, now are you?"

I loved her sass when it came down to playing Renesmee dress up. She was into deep thought when i came back into the closet with the black dress and black heels. She looked up at me and flipped.

"No! No! No! Its all wrong! Take it off! Right now!" She yelled as she handed me a white dress with matching heels and hoop earings.

I put the next outfit on and carried the other one back to the closet with me. "Im trying to picture you in the dress, but all i see your hair style. Ugh! I cant get past the blind spots!" When she saw me she screamed "Its not right! Here!" Handing me a red dress, red heels, and stud earings, sending me to change again.

That one wasnt right either. Neither was the next white one i tried on, or the next black one. They all looked fine to me, to for Aunt Alice it had to be perfect. When she handed me the blue dress with black heels and a pair of earings that had a diamond at the top and then one single diamond hanging down, she was jumping up and down.

When I came out of my bathroom I expected her to still be in the closet, but she was actually sitting on my bed. She jumped up clapping, obviously she found the perfect dress for me. She turned me to look in the full length mirror, proud of the job she did.

The blue dress scouped into a v-neck revieling a very small portion of cleavage, and hugged me tight around the waist, then flowed out and had three ruffles coming down to just above my knees. The back of the dress tide around my neck, and scouped down at my mid-back. The heels where black and had a strap coming across my toes and then one coming up to my ankel where it then wrapped around to snap. My earings were hanging down to just below my cheek bones.

She then sent me to the bathroom and yelled for my mom and Aunt Rose. They came at vampire speed. "See, Bella, I told you the dress would come to use." Aunt Alice squeaked.

"This was your dress?" I looked at my mom.

"Yes, I wore it to my senior prom with your father. You look absolutely beautiful." She said as she hugged me.

"She will look better when her hair and make-up is finished. Which Rose and i cant finish with you here, so go. Shu shu." Aunt Alice said.

They twisted and twurled my hair for a good ten minutes before they brought out the make-up. They kept trying different shades of different colors and where going crazy. Jacob better appreciate this. He is putting me through hell. After fifteen minutes of trying the make-up, i was finally allowed to look in the mirror.

They had my hair in its natural waves, and curled a bit at the tops, but left the ringlets at the bottom alone. My bangs fell elligently against my forehead and a small portion of hair on the right side of my head where my part was, was pulled back by a bobby pen.

My eyeshadow was a light brown to bring out my eyes, and i had black eyeliner very thin. A little bronze blush, and that was it. Very simple.

"Jacob will love it!" Aunt Alice said.

"What time is it?" I asked.

"He will be here in about ten minutes.."she said.

When i went down stairs, Uncle Emmett howled at me. Of course, Aunt Rose hit him in the back of the head. Mom looked like if she could she would cry. Uncle Jasper looked at me and smiled and said, "Well dont you clean up nice?"

When my dad came in the room, he looked at me and his mouth fell open. "Where is my daughter?"

"Right here, silly ol' dad." I said, not seeing why everyone was making a big deal out of it. I went to sit on the couch to wait for Jacob. Three hours later, Mom finally carried me to my room and i woke up when she layed me down. I looked up at her. "He never came. Im not worth his time am i?" I asked as i started crying.

"Sweetie, he probably got caught up with patrol. He would never forget about you." She said as she kissed my head. "Get some rest. I'll call him and he can come over when you wake up in the morning, i love you."


I closed the door to the volvo. That damn mut had some explaining to do. Edward tried to stop me, but i was set in my way of going to kill his ass. How could he stand my daughter up like that? After making her go through "dress up Renesmee" hell for three hours, and then leaving her on couch to cry infront of everyone making her look like a fool. That dog would have no fur left when im done with him.

When I pulled into his drive way he was just running out of the woods with Embry and Seth. I jumped out of the car and walked right up to him and decked him in the face. He got back up and said, "What the hell was that for, Bells?"

"For leaving my daughter to go through 'dress up Renesme' hell for three hours, then leaving her to cry for hours infront of the whole family looking like a damn idiot for being so happy for the first date in her life, and then you never showing up to make her think she's not worth it or your time and that you forgot about her and didnt care." I spat out with a growl.

"Did she really think that?" He asked.

"yes, she did. And you better be there in her room when she wakes up to apologize. And i hope when shes done with you there's nothing left of Jacob Black but a tiny pile of fur!" I said as i got back in the volvo and headed home.


I felt like shit. I made her cry because of that damn bloodsucker! But i was protecting her! I wouldnt let Riley get to her! Seth shouldve just killed him when he had the chance. We chased him all the way to California where he jumped into the ocean. I ran home as fast as i could, but i was too late. How could she think those things after the talk we had the day she came home?

I had the perfect idea of how to fix this. I ran inside and grabbed my button up shirt and slacks i was going to where to the date, and then my keys to the rabbit. I then ran outside to the garage and grabbed my boom box and went to the rack of cd's i had. I grabbed one and ran to the car, and called in a to-go order at Mcdonalds. It was a good thing Quil was working there tonight. I picked up the food and made it to the Cullens in about fifteen minutes.

I grabbed all the stuff and climbed up the side of the house to Nessie's room. She was asleep still. It was three thirty in the morning. I plugged in the boom box and played the music. She looked up at me.

"Jacob? What are you doing here?" She asked, still sleepy.

"I promised you a date, and im here to make up for the date i missed." I smiled.

She got out of bed, still in a dress and heels. She looked absolutely gorgous, even though her eyes were puffy from crying. I kissed her cheek and said, "You are worth every second of every day of my life, and with the love my heart feels for you, I'd never be allowed to forget you. I love you too damn much for that to happen." I whispered in her ear as I placed my hand on her waist and held her other hand in mine. She had the hand that i wasnt holding on my shoulder, and we were dancing tiny little circles in her room.

"What happened to make you so late?" She asked as she looked up at me. Even with the heels, she still didnt reach my height, but she was now tall enough to place her head on my shoulder.

"We found a trace of sent from a vampire. We followed him all the way to California. Riley wont get to you my dear, and im sorry i didnt get back soon enough." I kissed the top of her head.

"It does not matter, your here now. Why is Riley back?"

"We think its to finish what Victoria started, but we're not for sure. Im suppose to talk to Carlisle about it later. But thats something we can worry about later. The food is getting cold." I said as i sat her on her bed and brought the food over to her.

"What is all of this? Mcdonalds, the boom box and random dancing in my room?" She asked.

"I wanted to recreate the date we wouldve had. I was going to take you to a fancy resurant where we would eat and then take you down to the beach where we would dance to the car radio, but this was the closest i could get to that at the moment. I hope you dont mind."

"It's perfect, Jake. Your perfect." She said. I knew i had been forgiven, and i felt better now knowing she wasnt mad at me. But there was still one thing i needed to do to make this date perfect.

"Come on." I said as i grabbed her hand, pulling her toward the french doors leading to the balcony.

"Are you sure? I might get in trouble." She said. I had the thought in my head of that happening, but i heard a low growl come from downstairs and then a, "Go ahead, not to late though." We both smiled as we jumped over the balcony and ran to the rabbit.

"Where are we going?" She asked.

"You'll see." I smiled as i grabbed her hand.

When we made it to the beach, i grabbed a blanket out of the back and we layed it out, laying down on it. She seemed very intersited in the stars, counting each of them. She had made it up to about one hundred when i finally took her lips to mine and kissed her gently.

I stood up, holding her hand to pull her up to follow. We walked a little ways and when i finally got the courage to do it, i looked at her, kissed her forehead and bent down. Still holding her hand, i looked up at her, and her face made me speechless. I lost my train of thought and opened my mouth to speak, but no words came out. Finally, I came to words.

"Renesmee Carlie Cullen, I promise to love you for forever. Until there is no stars in the sky, until the sun stops coming up to shine. I promise to always protect you, no matter what. I promise that i will never hurt you in any way, and I promise to make you happy in every way possible if you promise me one thing. Promise, that some day, you'll let me replace this ring with one you deserve, promise me, that one day, ill be able to make you change your last name? Promise me, some day you'll make me the happiest man alive and marry me?"