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Meant To Be

Bella's life has known great pain. But as her twin brother, Emmett, comes home and brings his roommate, Edward with him. Can Bella let go of her tragic past and find love and trust in another? AH Lemons and mature themes, Cannon Couples.


2. Chapter 2: The Reason

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Excerpt from:

Inner Child by Kate

It's been a long, long time.
I hope that you still know me,
I've been hiding quite awhile.
I know that you know all things
Still, I think I should explain,
The reason I've been hiding
Is because of all the shame.

Source: Inner Child, Abuse Poems .?poem=19034#ixzz1FCLyE9h2

Taking Chances by Celine Dion

Don't know much about your life
Don't know much about your world but
Don't wanna be alone tonight
On this planet they call Earth

You don't know about my past and
I don't have a future figured out
And maybe this is goin' too fast
And maybe it's not meant to last

But what do you say to takin' chances?
What do you say to jumpin' off the edge?
Never knowin' if there's solid ground below
Or a hand to hold or hell to pay
What do you say? What do you say?

I just wanna start again
And maybe you could show me how to try
Maybe you could take me in
Somewhere underneath your skin

What do you say to takin' chances?
What do you say to jumpin' off the edge?
Never knowin' if there's solid ground below
Or a hand to hold or hell to pay
What do you say? What do you say?

Hey now, hey, my heart is beatin' down
But I'm always comin' back for more, yeah
There's nothin' like love to pull you up
When you're lyin' down on the floor, babe

So talk to me, talk to me like lovers do
Yeah, walk with me, walk with me like lovers do
Like lovers do

What to you say to takin' chances?
What do you say to jumpin' off the edge?
Never knowin' if there's solid ground below
Or a hand to hold or hell to pay
What do you say? What do you say?

Don't know much about your life
And I don't know much about your world

Chapter 2. The Reason... For Taking Chances


"What am going to do Alice, he knows! I know he does he can sense everything! Always! Damn twin abilities!" I said as I stomped around my best friend's apartment, I had made some excuses and headed straight for Alice's after texting her to tell her I was on my way. She could tell like Emmett that there was a problem. Emmett just has no idea how big. Dad had taken it fine and nodded me on and told me to call if I decided to stay over. Emmett glared at me and I ignored him. But Edwards reaction shocked me the most he looked hurt. Like he was trying to fix all my problems but could tell that I was running. I guess I was but then I had always been a runner when things got bad, but my problem was I always ran when it was too late.

"Ok, calm down and think what does he know Bella? You haven't told him, your dad wouldn't breathe a word, and he wants to keeps his balls this time around so nothing has been said Emmett just has a hunch"

"Em's not the only one" I mumble.

"Huh?" Alice turns to look at me "Who else?"

"Edward, his roommate"

"Oh Bella, you should of never told your dad it was ok for him to stay, how are you going to handle that?" Alice said with sad humble eyes. I knew she was truly my best friend a sister more really, but she had saved me from myself I don't know how many times. It's why I always run to her. She's tough and honest but always has my best interest at heart.

"It won't be a problem I have no reaction to him, actually I do but it's not bad" But if I was being honest I would have gone on to say how badly that frightened me. I had met him and known him all of 4 hours and I felt this attachment I couldn't describe a peace that was palpable like I could trust him I felt safe with him and though I felt those things I was still frightened, after all I had trusted Jake. I shivered when I remembered all the scars that trusting other people had gotten me in my life. Jake was just the tip of the ice berg.

Alice was staring at me like I had two heads, "what do you mean nothing, no reaction?"

"None" I said as a small smile pulled to my face.

"Bella, that's not what you said, you said there was a reaction but that it wasn't bad. What was it?" Alice said with a strange look on her face "I see hope, is it possible?"

"Alice I don't know, I JUST DON'T KNOW!" I snapped

"Your scared"

"Terrified, but there is this peace and electricity when he touches me I've never felt anything like it, like if he would let me, I could curl into to him and sleep for years and never have to worry. But, hope Alice, I don't know if I can hope, I haven't said more than ten words to him and I'm not the take home to mom type, I've got to much baggage for someone like him, he probably has some hot girlfriend any way." Alice let me ramble but, I saw the narrowing of her eyes and she wicked smile or her face. I knew what she said next was going to be more of a command than advice. I steeled myself but still wasn't prepared.

"You have to go home" She said with conviction, pulling me up and leading me to the door all while taking the glass of wine she poured me out of my hands.

"Excuse me? What did I do?"

"Nothing, and I think that is the problem, you need to go home and talk first to Emmett then to Edward you need to get your life on track. Think about this Bella Swan, if he is taken then fine, walk away but at least you know. But even if he is not and this ends up being nothing more than a rebound and a feel good for the past twenty-five years of hell you have been through, then is that really such a bad thing?" She stopped to take a deep breath and then continued with the advice that would change everything.

"But let me ask you, Bella, if you walk away from him and never try to find out what is going on between you two and if there is a remote possibility that you could find happiness with this person can you live with yourself? Could it be possible that this person could be your ticket back to love and happiness and the feeling of being whole? If he is any or all of those things can you really whole yourself up in your room and drown yourself in work and not wonder that maybe, just maybe this person was made for you and here for a reason? Can you really walk away from that?"

I gasped, and went completely rigid. Could I? Could I do that? No. I knew I had to know him somehow in some form I had to be a part of this man's life. Not because he could maybe free me from this hell and all the people who put me here. No, I knew deep down I was strong enough to do that myself. No, I had to know him because I had this draw to him like I would be doing myself and him a disservice not to at least know him. But, could he make me whole, was I even capable of love at this point? I didn't know but, I knew I had to do something I had wallowed in my hate and pity for to long. Alice was right I needed to go home and have some long hard discussions.

"What about Emmett? What do I say? How do I start?"

"With the WHOLE truth and at the beginning, you know this Bella you're an editor and a publisher you know this" she said ending with a giggle. I pushed her then grabbed her and hugged her tight.

"Thank you, Thank you for everything, I know this will be hard and terrifying but, I know your right. Thanks for knowing when you to push"

"Always, I love you too. Now go home"

I walked into the house and straight into the living room where I heard the game on and as a rounded the corner I could see everyone watching whatever sport Charlie deemed appropriate for the evening. Dad looked up at me then and smiled, it was a smile I knew all to well, it had sadness to it, knowing that I only ran to Alice's like that when it was really bad. I could tell he was worried and I was just plain scared but, as always Alice was right it was time to be brave to show my new scars. I just hope my brother would understand why I had been hiding from him after all these years. I smiled back at my dad to ease his pain and he turned back to the TV as Em and Edward both turned their heads towards me both having the most adorable smiles. But Em's had the same sadness and I knew it was time.

"Em will you take a drive with me?"

"Of course" He bounded up from the chair he was sitting in to plant a kiss on Rose and mumble that he didn't know when he'd be back. She nodded and then smiled at me and mouthed "thank you" I knew this must had been hard on Em then and I felt a pang of guilt at not telling him sooner. I nodded to Rose.

"We'll be back" I said looking at everyone. I noticed Edward then and could tell that he knew what I was doing so I decided to bite the rest of the bullet and commit myself to whatever destiny had in store. "Edward" I said as his eyes snapped up to look at me and the smile and yearning did not go unnoticed to anyone in the room. "When I get back would you mind helping me with supper?"

"I'd love to Bella" he said with a breath taking smile that made me smile and lit up the room.

"Ok then, we'll be back"

"Be careful Bells and you guys take your time"

I smiled again at the room and then walked out the front door to the jeep where Em was waiting patiently. I got in the jeep as Em made it roar to life. He looked at me but didn't say anything. I smiled at him.

"The park" I said with a grimace. Running through my mind and deciding that I was going to just stick with the Jake ordeal and not go any further back. Emmett knew all that, although he didn't experience it, he was there for it and the fallout. That actually gave me hope that he could handle the fall out again. I hated leaning on him like this but, I knew I could trust him with what I was going to ask him to promise me before I told him.

"That bad?" he said looking at me in the eyes trying to read the problems that he might find there.

"Yeah, we may never want to go back there after I tell you everything, but I need you to let me led and hold your emotions I can't process yours while I relive mine, promise me"

"Ok, I promise" he said to the windshield "Take all the time you need"

"Don't say that, I may loose my nerve" I mumbled under my breath

The park was lit by old wrought iron laterns and absolutely one of mine and Em's favorite places to play as kids. As we got older this was the safe place we would run to for escape: when he broke up with Rachel I had found him here. When conversions and things with mom got to bad we would come here to talk it out. Even the whole James thing. Everything bad was always discussed here. And always together. It seemed fitting to burden the park with this sad news because, well, it carried everything else that had brought us to our knees.

"Em I don't know where to start but Alice says the beginning and I'd go from there, but there are a lot of beginnings this time so I'll just start with Jake"

He nodded but was keeping his promise to not say anything. I sighed, it seemed like it had become a defense mechanism. Feel pain, sigh. Relive painful memories. Sigh. Feel discomfort or guilt. Sigh. This time it was all of it and I felt as if my heart would pound out of my chest. I was going to inflict pain here and I knew it but, I couldn't keep him in the dark anymore I couldn't protect him anymore than he could me. So I took a deep breath and began.

"Jake and I have been broken up for six months now, I guess you will get to tell me I told you so. His temper Em. It was worse… I knew it was bad but he… He went too far." I sobbed a little and then held my head up and started again.

"This is probably more information then you want to have on your twin sister but I was never imitate with Jake I wanted to wait and in the beginning he was fine with that, but I think when we moved to UW together and started talking marriage he thought I would give in. But that's not what I wanted and well we just didn't see eye to eye on the issue and he just kept… pushing"

"Bella I swear to God if he…"

"You promised" I sobbed and shook my head looking into frightened eyes.

"Sorry" he said and I took a deep breath and started again.

"Well, I held him off till this past summer and he kept pushing and kept pushing. Finally one day when dad wasn't home I lost it. We were in my room, I was packing up for a weekend trip with Alice when he pushed me on the bed and said that if I truly loved him then I could at least give him something"

Emmett grimaced and I knew he was fighting his own temper so I thought it best to just plow ahead.

"I pushed him off as best I could and told him that if he loved me then he could wait a couple more years. That I wanted it special not some roll in the hay on a summer afternoon. He got so angry he pushed me up against the door and started to feel all over me. My body reacted in convulsions and I started to get sick that's when he hit me square across the jaw" I took a deep breath and steeled myself

"He NEVER, NEVER Em, He never touched me again like that but, he came back after he cooled off and apologized and like an idiot I forgave him. The cycle continued like that for three months and I hide it from everyone for a while. Until around Christmas, I was at Jakes with his family and I already had several bruises on me but as you know it's cold here so I kept covered up but Alice was beginning to wonder about my sudden interest in spending the night at her apartment all the time and my increase in my ability to wear makeup, but anyway, we were at Jakes when I asked him to take me home in front of Billy he was upset that he had to leave his friends and by now his abuse just wasn't about sex anymore it was anything and everything so when he got me to Charlie's he was already pretty worked up and when dad wasn't there well he followed me to my room and when I turned around and saw him, I told him to go home, he got so angry that he pushed me out into the hall way and before I knew it I was falling down the stairs. Dad and Alice walked in, in enough time to see Jake push me. He tried to cover it up but neither dad nor Alice would let it go. I moved home after I got out of the hospital for my fractured ankle, arm and internal bleeding. Jake calls all the time and Alice says he drives by but I haven't talked to him since that night. Dad filed for a restraining order on him for me and they took pictures of all my bruises but we didn't file charges and I'm not going to. I'm tired of reliving this pain over and over again. Billy won't talk to dad anymore, Rachel and Jake spread vicious rumors about me being a tease and that I cheated on Jake. I never of course but people in this town with believe anything so between finishing my degree online, working at the house for the publishing company doing there editing, and pretty much staying out of sight I haven't been anywhere or really lived in the past six months. I wanted to tell you Em really but, I knew you would come straight home and you were so happy I couldn't let my hell, wreck your life too so I begged dad not to say anything and he agreed that until I was ready to tell you he wouldn't say anything. I'm so sorry that I have hurt you. I…"

"Shhh… Bella it's okay come here" He grabbed me and pulled me to his arms "We don't have to talk about it, But let me ask you was that why dad wasn't sure about Edward coming to stay?"

"Yes, if a man touches me Em besides family I loose it, big time" I sobbed into his shoulder.

He nodded, "Ok well, but Edward isn't…" At looked at him then and he had a wry smile on his face. He could tell already there was something between Edward and me. I shrugged and kept my head in his chest.

"I know and don't understand but Em I think something is there I don't know but he makes me feel safe and I know he's your best friend and you may not understand after all I've been through why I feel I may want to start something with him but I think I have to try"

He smiled a huge smile and nodded. "I'm not one of those brothers Bells you do whatever, I guess I should tell you some background on him though"

I stopped him with my hand over his mouth. "No I want him to tell me if he wants, but one question" I started to smile we were back to normal again the relief was wonderful and I was never more happy to have my twin than in this moment.

He smiled his huge smile and nodded his head up and down so hard I thought it might fall off. "Anything"

"Is he at least single?"

Em laughed so hard I thought he was going to dump me right out of his lap and fall to the floor

"Yes! He's single and you need to hear at least this" He said looking serious again, so I nodded "he has been hurt by woman Bells go easy on him I think with everything you have been through he will be good for you. I think your great for him, My best friend and sister I didn't think I'd ever see it!"

"And you may not" I said solemnly

"Whatever, I have feeling about this. Your perfect for each other" he said with a huge smile

"You and your feelings and Alice too no less, you sound like you're ready to plan a wedding before I have had a real conversion with him!"

"Oh boy Alice too! Now I know this is going to be good" I shook me head.

"How do you know I'll be good for him? That he'll be good for me? What if I don't know how to give anymore?" I whispered

Em looked at me sternly but gently "Because I like I said he has a past too Bells things that he needs to tell not me, and you do too. You won't understand until he can come clean but you too have some things in common when it comes to moms. That's all I am going to say. He'll go slow with you Bells and bring you out of your shell, and he's good, I trust him. I trust him with you."

"I love you Em. I'm sorry thank you" I said bringing us back to reality and Emmett walked us back from the park bench to the Jeep.

"I love you too sis, you know this all is going to work out I promise, now let's get you back to the house so you can have a talk!" he wiggled his eyebrows at me and I laughed, Em always knew how to make me laugh and turn a situation around. This turned out better than expected I knew he had to process everything and I knew this wasn't the last conversation about this topic for us but he was in the loop now and as always on my side I knew I could face anything with him with me.


I sat and continued to watch game after game waiting on my best friend and his sister to come back. I was glad Bella was finally getting whatever was going on off her shoulders but as I looked at Charlie he looked worried.

"Is everything ok?" I ask before I could stop myself

Charlie looked at me with knowing eyes "Yes, they'll be fine it's just so hard for Bella to tell him this, he's going to need time to cool off and process it." I nodded I couldn't imagine what Jake had done to Bella but I knew I was going to have to look out for Emmett's temper. I saw one of our brotherly talks in the near future. "maybe we should order pizza" Charlie said taking me away from my thoughts.

When the pizza arrived Charlie paid for it and brought the boxes into the kitchen. Rose had retreated hours ago saying she was going to take a bath and finish her book, and not to worry about calling her for dinner. So it was just Charlie and me at the table in a comfortable silence.

"Your different" Charlie stated

"What do you mean?" I asked perplexed

"With Bella, your're different, good for…" he said and I couldn't help but cut in. I meant a lot to me that Charlie knew I meant Bella no harm.

"I hope so I would like to try to…" he looked at me then and smiled. I couldn't finish my sentence so I sat there for moment looking at him.

"I know, you have my blessing and Bella's to it looks like but go slow with her she been…"

"hurt" I finished for him. He looked at me them with wide eyes and nodded. "You have no idea" he whispered.

"Does Em know? I didn't think she had told him. I thought that was what she was doing tonight telling him about Jake, He really damaged her…" Charlie took a deep breath and I knew I needed to jump in or he was going to tell me things that I hoped Bella would trust to me in time.

"Charlie, that is what she is doing, or least I think so and no one knows, not even me and maybe it should stay that way until Bella deems it otherwise"

"Of course, sorry, when you said it like that I thought maybe she had already said something. For the record, she likes you already, you don't understand how big a deal that is but it's huge. Go slow with her listen to her"

"I will, I promise, I just never felt anything like this before" I whispered looking down at my now cold pizza.

Before he could say thing else Bella and Em walked through the door. Both looking so much better. Charlie lets out a huge sigh and smiles. "All better now?"

"Yeah dad we're better" They both said at the same time.

We all laughed to together as Bella and Em shook their heads at each other.

"You know they have always done that" Charlie said. Getting up and going to put his plate in the sink "Goodnight all, Bed time for me. Work comes early, make sure to lock up everything I'm glad you're all home and better" he said going up the stairs after giving Bella a hug and whispering in her ear.

"Well I think I'm going to go see what my Rosie is up to." Em said looking between Bella and me, we had locked eyes with each other since she entered the room and I couldn't stop looking at her and noticing how much better she looked after her talk with her brother. I dragged my eyes from Bella with a smile and looked at my best friend.

"She said she was going for a bath and finish her book but that was hours ago." I said smiling at him. He nodded and started to take the stairs two at a time when he stopped in the middle of the staircase and turned around.

"Hey, Ed. Tomorrow you wanna go for a jog around the park with me in the morning?" Bella groaned and I looked at her. She shook her head and I shrugged it off. I wasn't sure what that meant but, Em and I took runs back in Chicago all the time.

"Sure Em. What time?"

"The usual" I nodded and he turned around and continued up the stairs.

I turned to Bella then and smiled.

"I guess we didn't get back in time for supper" She said with a giggle. The sweetest sound I think I had ever heard. I wanted to drown myself in it.

"No, but I didn't really get to eat your dad and I were talking, would you like to join me?" I said looking at the floor.

"I'd loved to thank you" I pulled her chair out for her and she blushed the most lovely said of pink as I went to the cabinet and got her a plate and a bottle water out of the fridge. I sat across from her a we both stared at each other for what felt like forever. Until I couldn't wait I had to ask

"So Em seems ok now. Are you?"

"I will be I think, I'm going to have to watch Em for awhile he is still processing it will take some time but he is going to want to lash out. I know him too well" I nodded

"Your right, I was thinking about that earlier … I'm sorry"

"For what?" she asked perplexed with me.

"That you have been hurt, you dad called it damaged, he made it sound like this wasn't the first time you've been hurt" I whispered to her she had flinched when I said damaged and now more than ever it seemed like that word fit almost too well.

"Thank you, I… I… I don't know what to say… Jake… he and I… It just…" she started to sobbed and I thought I had pushed her to hard I got up from the table and went to sit beside her and I couldn't stop myself, I pulled her in arms and held her as she cried.

"Shhh.. Bella it's okay I'm sorry I shouldn't have pushed it none of my business I'm just Em's best friend but I'm worried about you"

She looked at me then "You mean your worried about Em." She stated I was shaking my head.

"No. you. I'm worried about you" I whispered into her hair.

"I don't understand." she breathed deep and turned in my lap. My stomach muscles tightened and I had to take a deep breath to suppress urges that I was coming to realize I had never truly felt. "You are so handsome, I'm plain, you are so good and I … I'm damaged beyond belief. You don't want me Edward there's no way I would be good for you. But, I feel this feeling around you … safe and peace, comfort and this desire…" She said blushing before she continued.

"I NEVER felt this ever and I don't even know if you want to be around me and I'm sure you'll run after you hear everything that has happened in my life. But, I can't live with myself if I don't try this if I didn't say anything to you. I know I'm being bold and only known you for less than a day but I just can't shake this … this thing between us. You probably don't even know what I'm talking about and think I'm crazy. So, I understand if you have a girlfriend or something, if your not interested in a plain damaged girl from Washington, who can't even leave her house because she is frightened about what she will hear when she goes to the grocery store about what people say about her. But, I know this, you're the only man in the last six months that has been able to touch me and I not end up terrified and cringing on the floor at their feet…"

I listened closely as she rambled on. She ws so scared that I couldn't be there for her? That i would run away from here. What she didn't know was i had my own demons. But, i felt like we would get there eventually, a thought that scared me and thrilled me. All i could think about now was taking care of this beautiful woman in my lap. Focusing on how fast this emotions had come through. I had never believed in true love or love at first sight until in knocked me on my ass. But was it possible, it had to be, she felt it too? I couldn't believe it, I felt this woman's hurt and pain and all I wanted to do was relieve it. I'd gladly take it on myself. I knew I needed to respond before she started berating herself for being so bold so I took a huge deep breath and steeled myself for her reaction and I pulled her back and gazed into those wonderful and hopeful, but sad chocolate eyes. And let my heart guide me.


I was an idiot I was sitting in this mans lap the safest place I had ever been I was sure. Pouring my desires and emotions, my whole heart really out to him and I hadn't known him twelve hours yet. Yep, a complete screw up. I was waiting on him to say something when he pulled me back form his tear stained shirt. I knew then this was over and her would be running in a matter of moments.

"Bella… I have that same feeling too" he said and I gasped.

"I do, feel like I have known you my whole life, I have desires for you too. I have this need to relieve your pain, to fight for you. I want this too whatever it is. Your right I couldn't live with myself if I didn't try. But your wrong about some thing too. You're the most wonderful, beautiful, stunning woman I have ever seen. And I have my own scars but, I want nothing more than to figure this out, if you'll have me. Please, I'm sorry I'm being to forward but please know that I won't hurt you and you don't have to tell me anything just let me be around you in your presence that's all I ask. And if you want me then we will figure everything out, there's things I need to tell you but only when your ready we will go as slow as you want Bella I promise, that is if you want me at all"

"I do, I'm afraid that I may want to keep you" I whispered so low I thought he couldn't hear me until he answered

"I already know that I want to keep you" I looked up at him then, our noses touching, he reached a palm to my face and I closed my eyes as I felt his lips graze mine. I couldn't believe we had been so bold with each other that we had made a declaration to each other. And now I was going to receive the first kiss I had had in half a year. And I wasn't frightened but excited. That was until my phone went off in my pocket and Edward pulled his face back smiling.

"Perfect timing" He said, I laughed and looked at the screen and smiled.

"She always does, Hey Alice, I'm fixing to go to bed talk to you in the am?" I said getting off his lap and kissing his cheek. As my best friend hung up with me saying she would see me for breakfast and girl talk in the morning. Something I was looking forward to. "See you in the morning?" I asked as I turned to him asking hopefully he smiled a brilliant smile and nodded. As I headed up the stairs to what I knew would be a long night. I prayed to God that my dreams were of almost kisses and brillant green eyes.