Meant To Be
Bella's life has known great pain. But as her twin brother, Emmett, comes home and brings his roommate, Edward with him. Can Bella let go of her tragic past and find love and trust in another? AH Lemons and mature themes, Cannon Couples.
4. Chapter 4: Sometimes the Truth Ain't Easy
Rating 0/5 Word Count 5995 Review this Chapter
Steve Holy "Love Don't Run" Lyrics
This is gonna hurt, this is gonna hurt like hell,
This is gonna damn near kill me,
Sometimes the truth ain't easy
I know that you're scared of telling me something
I don't wanna hear, baby, believe that I'm not leaving,
You couldn't give me one good reason
Love don't run, love don't hide,
It won't turn away or back down from a fight
Baby, I'm right here, and I ain't going anywhere
Love's too tough, won't give up, no not on us
Baby, love don't run
Let's lay it on the line, I don't care if it takes all night,
This is gonna make us stronger,
It's gonna make forever longer,
I know it'd be easier walking away but,
What we got is real, and I wanna save us,
Baby, we can do it, baby, we'll get through it
Cause love don't run, love don't hide,
It won't turn away or back down from a fight,
Baby, I'm right here, and I ain't going anywhere,
Love's too tough, it won't give up, no not on us
Baby, love don't run
Baby, love don't run
So come over here and lay down in my arms,
Baby, tell me everything that's on your heart,
Cause I won't run, I won't hide,
I won't turn away, I just wanna make things right
Baby, I'm right here, and I ain't going anywhere,
Love's too tough, it won't give up, no not on us
Baby, love don't run
Baby, love don't run
Baby, love don't run
Chapter 4: Sometimes the Truth ain't Easy
The next couple of days flew by. Edward and I spent our time wrapped up in each other and our friends just let us be, for the most part. I felt like I really knew about him now. I knew there were a couple of things we still needed to disclose to one another, but the past forty-eight hours, with just him and me, had been heaven and I just wasn't ready to mar it with more drama and sadness, it looked like Edward felt the same way because he never brought it up either. So we stayed in our little bubble of bliss sharing our lives until it was time to go to Seattle to get Edwards car from transport. Edward had also mentioned he wanted to try and go see our small town of Forks today if I was up to it. I knew he was trying to push me a little and I had decided that I was going to let him. I needed to quit hiding, Jake be damned. I also knew this would be a great time to give him my surprise. So, I made a couple of calls and headed down stairs where I met a smiling Edward dressed and ready to go.
Going to pick up Edward's car went smoothly, that was until I saw his car. That was when I realized that my new phone was nothing compared to the buying power Edward had. Because when the transport guy asked for the pickup slip and Edward's car was brought around my jaw dropped. Now, I don't know cars but I know James Bond movies and there was the most stunning looking car on the planet in sleek silver was none other but an Aston Martin. After I picked my jaw off the floor, Edward chuckled and opens my car door for me, always the gentlemen; he acted unfazed by the car so, I realized this was just a way of life for him. Something that scared me a little but, I would just have to watch what I a loud him to spend on me. I wasn't one of those girls who needed to be spoiled and had always been a low maintenance kind of girl. Em took his Jeep back to Forks -he had volunteered to take us to the transport place- and said that he would meet us in town later while Edward and I made our way back we began to talk about what he wanted to see in town, although I told him there wasn't much to see.
Edward had said he wanted to see everything about the place I had grown up so I promised to give him the tour. I just didn't realize we would end up at La Push later that day. That encounter had been… interesting.
We had decided that we would go to the beach and I was sure they would pick one of the beaches outside and far away from La Push which was where Jake lived. But Alice said that she really wanted to show Jasper First Beach. Jasper was Alice's long time boyfriend he had come to live with Alice after graduating college and selling his place in Texas. Being a new history grad he was looking for a teaching position in the area. Alice had picked him up from the airport that morning and was meeting us at the beach. Jasper was kind of quite to begin with and a man of little words. But I liked him a lot and he made Alice so happy.
Em whined saying he hadn't seen the beach in forever, and showing Rose some of the old stomping ground wasn't a bad idea. So I just kept my mouth shut and prayed we would get lucky and not see anyone who would say anything to me or see any of Jake's family or him. I should have known I didn't carry that kind of luck with me. We had been there for several hours having a great time laughing and playing in the water, when I saw her appear on the beach, I turned around after I heard Emmett curse.
"Shit" Em said "Let's go, now I don't want to do this today, I'll say something bad if she starts something… Let's go. Ed get Bells in the car now" Em almost screamed as everybody started to move not questioning Em's instructions.
But, this day was about pushing my limits, my boundaries and not letting people like Rachel and Jacob Black control my life anymore. So when Edward started to pull me to the car I stood firm and waited for Rachel to make her way to me. She actually looked a little stunned when I didn't turn from her like I had countless times before. That made me smile and gave me confidence that I knew what I was doing.
"Are you sure?" Edward asked and I began to nod before he even finished the sentence. "Ok, but I'm right here you squeeze my hand when your ready to go ok" He put his hand in mine and I nodded.
He was being my rock. He knew this was going to be hell for me but he was letting me do this my way. And I knew no matter what this shrew had to say to me that Edward wasn't going anywhere, we weren't that breakable. I smiled again as Rachel finally came about three feet away from me.
She looked around and her eyes narrowed looking over all six of us. She skimmed quickly over Em who had a grimace on his face, Rose who growled at her when she looked at Em, Jasper was passive looking, protective but not completing understanding the situation. Alice looked like she was going to take Rachel by the hair and drag her to the ground. Rachel and the pixie never got along, they had hated one another from even before hello and with how Rachel had spurred Jake on, and Alice was hard knocked not to cold cock her right square in the jaw. But, I knew she was holding back for me and I was grateful this was my fight after all. But I about lost it when she looked over at Edward and licked her lips.
"Hi, I'm Rachel Black, and you are?"
"Bella's boyfriend Edward Cullen"
"Really?" She said with a coy smile "Well I guess we all can't have perfection now can we? If you change your mind…"
"I promise you Bella is my perfection, no mind changing necessary" Edward said interrupting her, he had a scowl on his face and I was relieved to see he looked disgusted by the sight of Rachel. I was beyond pissed off when she had cornered him but he stood up to her well and squeezed my hand tightly letting me know he meant what he said. I sighed and that's when Rachel turned and glowered at me.
"Bella, its good to see you, like the blue swim suit, but red looks better on you I think" she said with a quirk to her mouth. I felt Edward tense up and Em curse again. Boy this was going to be fun.
"So I guess you enjoyed your time at the mall the other day then?" I asked and her face paled. I really think she thought I wouldn't put it together; she actually had to think I was stupid.
"I don't know what you mean"
"Oh, Rach sure you do. Just tell me why you're here and get this over with. Your wasting my time, time I could be spending with my boyfriend" I said squeezing Edward's hand letting him know I was over this and ready to move on.
"I just wanted to say hey and meet your knew friend and of course say hello to Emmie" Oh boy this was going to end badly if I didn't step in now. I could hear and feel movement in the background. I saw out of the corner of my eye Emmett move with his arms tight around Rose. But, just because Rose was restrained didn't mean that she wasn't going to say something.
"So you're the Rachel that Emmett told me about?" Rose said sweetly, although I may not know Rose as well as some of the others in our group I could tell that something was brewing under that sweet exterior. But Rachel was either too stupid or to blind to see it coming. I decided to let Rose have her fun.
"Yes, he and I dated for years, quite serious mind you, he always was the best to me" I cringed I didn't not miss her meaning and neither did Rose but, still hearing that about your brother, well, gross.
"Yes well he is the best to me" Rose said staking her claim. Em smiled at her and grabbed her and swung her around while kissing her senseless. I watched Rachel's face fall and laughed. Knowing it was best to end this little party before Rose could regain her anger I turned from looking one more time at my brother and his girlfriend and back to the shrew in front of me.
"Well, Rachel I could lie and say it was good to see you but I won't, but do me a favor. Remind your brother I
meant what I said stay the hell away from me, it's over and the Swans and the Blacks have no more ties to one another just, let the dog lie and find a new hobby" I said in a flat tone and serious face. She stood there speechless still watching Em and Rose. Alice had a shit eating grin on her face and well I could help but start to laugh as Edward put are on my back and lead me back to the car.
"I'm so proud of you, love" Edward said with a smile.
"Thank you" I said pulling him to me with my hands around his neck and threaded through his hair. "Edward"
I made sure I was looking right in his eyes and he was looking at me as though I was a glass of water and he was a man dying of thirst. I smile and pulled one of my hands from his hair to his cheek caressing his cheek softly.
"I love you Edward"
Everything happened quickly he picked me up and spun me and then quickly put me back done all while wearing the most gorgeous smile. I wanted to always be able to put that smile on his face. Then he moved his hands from my waist to my neck with his thumbs stroking my cheek bones. He looked at me with the brightest green eyes.
"I love you too Bella" he said as he bent down and pressed his lips to my in a chaste kiss. I had never felt anything like it. The kiss didn't stay chaste for long as I pulled his bottom lip into my mouth at suckled it and he did the same to my top, he ran his tongue along my lip and I moaned as I opened my mouth to allow him entrance and did the same to him. My body was reacting to him in ways that I had never felt for any one and this time I wasn't frightened I was at complete peace and completely devoted to and hopelessly in love with this man. I knew right away this was right, this was perfect, this was meant to be. I had completely forgotten everyone around us and I felt like Edward had to because when I heard my twin laughing and my best friend coughing; we both spun apart.
"Sorry to interrupt, truly I am, but it's your night to cook sis and we have to still go to the grocery store." Em said with a delightful smile.
"It's always my night in the kitchen, dumbass. Oh, alright lets go" I turned go and Edward pulled me back in for one more heart throbbing kiss and leaned down to my ear and whispered "I'll help you in the kitchen love, I help you with anything" I felt my girly bits tingle and I shivered as he grabbed my hand and we proceeded to the grocery store.
Once we got back to the house, I started dinner. The kitchen at my dads house was big enough for everyone to sit at the big island in the center of the room. I sat on the end with my glass of wine and began wrapping potatoes in foil to put in the oven. I put Edward to work marinating the steaks, while everyone else sat down at the island with me and began to discuss what our summer was going to be like.
"I definitely want to see more of Forks, Em tells me there are some nice trails and some waterfalls around this area?" Rose said looking at me
"Yes, there is also a hot springs not to far from one of the trails, some friends of my dads owns a couple of cabins up there, it is a long hike but I could call and see if we couldn't come and stay a couple of days and enjoy the springs"
"Ohhh! Bells we have to! I want to show Jazz the springs and we haven't been up there in so long I forgot all about them when do you think we can go?" Alice said jumping up and down on her stool, everyone chuckled at her.
"Ok ok, Allie calm down I'll call tomorrow but, I need to get the manuscript I'm working on done and I also need to look at classes I only have a couple more I need and I will be taking them online but, I was going to do that this summer, so I can graduate before the fall. I also need to go after I go to Port Angeles and turn the script in, once it's done, that's all for me. so next week sometime unless there are other conflicts?" I said looking at Edward
"No conflicts here love, although when you go to PA maybe we could look at apartments for me while we are there, I want to go ahead and look just in case the place I want has a waiting list." Edward said, I knew this would come up but it scared me, He would be leaving, not really only an hour or so away but still only three days and I was so use to him in my bed and me in his arms. I had never slept so soundly and I just couldn't let go of this feeling that I never wanted to be away from him. I would have to give that idea some thought, maybe I could get my own apartment in PA or something he wouldn't be in my bed but he would be closer. But it was way to soon to be thinking about things like that so I pushed those thoughts to the back of my mind to revisit later.
"I don't think the rest of us have any conflicts either Bells so do what you need to do and call dad's friend and I will go by Crowley's Sporting good store and get the things we need, cause I know how much you love going in there" Em snickered and I rolled my eyes. Tyler Crowley had tried to date me my freshman year of high school before Jake and me. Jake has scared him away and Tyler had stayed far away from me. But, months ago when Tyler found out about me and Jake splitting up, he started asking me out again, he would do this over and over again anytime he would see me. It had gotten so bad that I refused to go into Tyler's parents store because Tyler was always there working.
"Shut it Em"
"You will hike but not go to a sporting goods store? Do you hate shopping Bella? I didn't think girls hated shopping" Edward said looking amused
"No, she doesn't really hate shopping, only long shopping days with me, I wear her out" Alice giggled "No, she doesn't go in there because she doesn't want to have to tell Tyler, the bosses son, again, that she doesn't want to go out with him" Alice burst into laughter as I saw Edward scowl.
"It's fine baby, he's harmless just persistent" I said grabbing his face and giving him a quick chaste kiss, his face brightened then and he nodded.
"Ok, but I'm going with you Em, scope out the competition and all." Edward said looking at me.
I smiled and kissed him again deepening the kiss this time, taking in his tongue until he moaned and I pulled away with a slight smile on my face. I kept my lips barely touching his as I whispered to him "There's no competition, it took you less then a day to steal my heart and make it yours, I'm sure that I want no other, you're the only man I'll ever need" I said honestly, I never thought it would be so easy to tell him how I felt, to pour my heart out to anyone, but it was with Edward that everything seemed to be as easy as breathing. I sighed and let him go coming back to the realization that there were four pairs of eyes and ears staring and listening to us. I pulled away from him, with a deep blush staining my cheeks and we went back to getting supper finished and chatting about all the things we might find to do over the next two months.
It was during dinner that I heard my phone ring, it was laying on the counter and Alice offered to get it for me I was wondering who could be calling me because no-one had my new number but, then I remembered that Alice had used my phone after downloading all my contacts and sent a "all send" text to my contacts letting them know my new number, I made sure that none of the Blacks were in my contacts before I let her do that. So I surprised at the look on her face when she handed me the phone. "Bella you don't have to…"
I looked at the phone and gave a long sigh and set it down. "I'll handle it after dinner" I said to the table. Em gave me the look I had grown accustomed to, the one that said that I didn't have to handle her if I didn't want to. He must of known who it was, but Em could always read me so very well, I often wondered if that was a twin thing or just a brother thing.
Edward looked at me with questions in his eyes and I just slid my phone to him. He touched the screen and looked at the name of the person on the now missed call and his eyes went wide, yeah, I knew my luck would run out on that one. "Later" I whispered and he nodded his head and slid the phone back to me about the time my phone chimed saying that I had a new voicemail.
After dinner was finished and the dishes were put away I grabbed Edward off the couch and into my room putting my phone between us. I knew it was time to see what my mom's phone call was about but I wanted to explain Edward my resistance to my mother first. I wouldn't make him listen to it and I would make him stay to hear what she had to say when I called her back but I knew it was time to reveal the last bit of my past and just pray that he didn't run from me. I took a deep breath and went for it.
"My mother, Renee, she is well flighty at best, I think my mother tries to be a good mother, she really does but Renee got married and pregnant with Em and I very young so she never really got a chance to be a young college girl. She married my dad right out of high school and he started working long nights, as you can tell there marriage didn't make it. She was out of our lives and lefts us with our dad when Em and I were only two. She moved to Seattle were she got a business degree and a full time job at one of the IT companies there. She would travel on the weekends to spend a couple hours with us growing up but as she got further along in school and then in her company that started to slow down, that was until she asked me and Em if we would like to start spending summers with her when we were fifteen. It was something I wanted to do but Em didn't so he stayed with dad for the summer and I went to live with mom for a couple of months until school started back. I basically ended up taking care of her. Don't get me wrong she is a great friend but just not mom material. Mom preached and preached about how bad dad was and how he never paid her any attention. I ignored it for the most part but it was still hard to hear. So from fifteen to twenty years old I spent summers with my mom and it was fine until I asked her if I could spend some time with Jake one year, like him come up and spend the day with us. She went crazy, after she met him, saying that I was going to end up like she did and that I was crazy for wanting a life with a man, any man. That I should want a career and independent life; that relying on a man for anything other than my physical needs was going to get me beaten and bruised. In a way I guess she was right, about Jake anyway, but I had argued with her and the words said were not nice. She had said that if I was just going to waste my life like she had almost wasted hers that I could do it without her. So I went from no mom to a best friend to a mom and best friends that wanted nothing to do with me because I am not what she pictured as a daughter. I thought she would realize that he was just a boyfriend and come around but, she didn't she didn't really call she would send "her love" through texts on holidays and when she thought about it. But I was so hurt that I would always wait to call her back. When she heard from dad that I had broken up with Jake and what had happened well… She didn't waste anytime telling me how she felt and that she was right all long. I just listened. But, now that I was doing what she wanted for me she has started calling again and wanting to see me. So needless to say when I tell her about you and if she ever sees how much I love you and care about you she is going to in a word …. Lose her shit! I'm sorry to burden you with this and you don't have to stay to hear but, I refuse to hide you just because she has never been able to accept the person I am. I love you and want to shout it from the roof tops"
He sat there for a minute and then grabbed my waist and pulled me to him so that my bottom was in his lap and my back was against his chest. "Bella there is nothing that would make me run from you I hope you know that. We have mother issues it looks like and no matter what your mother thinks or says about me as long as you want this… want us then I'm all in all I want is to make you feel safe and happy. The day I stop doing that is the day I walk away."
"You could never…"
"I hope that's the case, I feel that it is, but time will tell ok? Now that you have shared your mother story it is only fair that you hear mine I just pray you don't run" He said kissing my neck and sending shivers down my spine.
"My biological mother was a drug addict and a runaway she was only fifteen when she had me and with no where to go. The Cullen's, my adopted parents were really my foster parents to begin with, see the courts took me away from my mother right after I was born and Carisle was the attending in the ER that night she came in to have me, so when my mother came in three sheets to the wind on coke and alcohol he called child services. The Cullen's had been on a waiting list for a long time and Carisle talked child services into allowing them to be my foster parents because his wife Esme didn't work and could take care of me full time they agreed. I lived with them as my foster parents until I was five, I had known no other life, they were my parents, I love them so much. My mom filed for custody, the court deigned her custody and took her rights as a parent away. Esme and I were in a shopping mall one day when I ran away from her and towards the ice rink in the middle of the mall. I was only about five feet in front of her when a lady came out of no where and snatched me up. Esme saw it and we were both screaming. It turned out that the lady who grabbed me was my mom. She took me to her apartment; I remember her saying we were going to have a great life together that I didn't need all that money could buy and that she would be taking care of me from now on. All I can remember saying and thinking was that I wanted my mommy, that I wanted Esme, I had never met this lady and didn't know who she was. Later, I found out that I had been there for three days. She never hurt me and police said that the apartment was clean and she was too. But that she was so upset that the courts had taken me away from her that she thought she could take me back. After I returned home to my parents they adopted me as soon as possible but, they didn't file charges on my mom and Esme took sympathy on her and even allowed my mom monthly supervised visits. That went on until I was ten, until my mom was suppose to show up for a visit and never came. I remember Esme being so mad and upset but, I remember me being hurt and confused. Later I found out when I got older that she had died from an overdose. I remember being sad for her and me."
I sat there and soaked it all in. He had bared his soul to me. I turned in his lap and looked into his eyes; they showed nothing but love for me and concern. I knew I had to take his doubt from him. "Edward, I'm so sorry, that happened to you, that is so awful, I can't imagine how that effected your childhood, but no matter what has happened in your life and in mine it has made us who we are and what will be for each other." He was still quite I knew what he needed so I lifted his chin and stared into his eyes. "I'm not running Edward, not after the crazy girlfriends, the mothers, as scared as I am that in two months we will be apart from each other, and you and I will both work and not be living in the same city, even through all that I know we will find a way. I'm not running are you?" I said smiling at him.
He smiled back at me then "No, love I'm not running and don't worry about the future Bella, I can't leave you, you are my life now." I sighed and snuggled into his chest. He lifted his head and placed to sweetest of kisses on my lips.
"Do you want to call your mom before it gets to late?"
"I guess I need to, or she will start calling the house phone and that upsets dad, you don't have to stay I can do this by myself" I said pulling myself from his arms, but he grabbed me and pulled me back to him, he leaned over and grabbed my phone handing it to me.
"I'm not going anywhere unless you want to be alone. Call her I'll be right here with you ok?"
I nodded and scrolled down the contacts page to my mom's number and hit call. Laying the phone in my lap, I put it on speaker so we could both hear.
It rang twice before I heard the line pick up
"Hey mom, it's me you called"
"Oh, hey baby, yeah I did wanted to know what you were going to do after school. I have some connections with publishing firms all across the US and wanted you to send me your resume so I can send it out with some recommendations."
"Oh that's nice of you, but I already work for a publishing firm in PA, remember?"
"yes, Bella I remember but, do you really want to be stuck in small town Washington all your life, you need to see the world baby, there's more out there"
"Mom, we've talked about this I'm happy with my life, I can travel later after I decide what I really want, maybe if I decide to write a book and become and author like I've always wanted then I'll travel that way. But there's plenty of time" I said knowing what was coming, I steeled myself for the reaction
"Honey, I'm sure that's al well ad good but your single now and free to go anywhere no ties no nothing don't you think you need to live a little?"
I looked at Edward, so that he knew I was going to burst her bubble he squeezed me closer into his chest and nodded. I took a deep breath and said the words I knew we're going to send my mother over the edge
"Really mom, the recommendations and everything are great but that's just not what I want right now, and as far as single well I can't say that either. I met a wonderful guy, mom, he's really something, I believe it's the real thing. I think I might have found my match, he's good for me and I love him" I said with a smile and I could Edwards smile creep along my neck as his kissed me all the way to under my ear. I shivered again. "Mom he's here with me would you like to meet him?"
"I'm here, No Bella I don't want to meet him, Love him, really? Didn't you learn from Jake what love does?"
She asked I could hear the distain in her voice. I was scared this was going to get ugly but, Edward hadn't tensed, hadn't moved a muscle other than to continue to kiss my neck and hold me. it was like he knew the kind of support I needed and he wasn't freaking out on me. I was so happy. But, if she kept going I knew it was only a matter of time.
"No, mom, I learned that lesson better than I can ever tell you. But Edward is different, Dad and Em both really like him, he just graduated medical school and is doing his residency in PA starting in the fall. He is a really great guy and he loves me."
"Yeah, he loves you right now Bella, you haven't given him anything yet I'm sure, men are all about the game baby you must know that, just have a little fun and let him go. At least you have high standards, medical school it must me nice" I sat there shocked and frozen, what she was saying had surprised me only because I thought she might at least be nice knowing that Edward was right here with me, of course I should have known better I guess. Edward was stirring at her last words and I could tell that he was getting upset.
"Bella, I don't like the way she treats you, I had know idea…" he whispered in my ear until I cut him off I knew I had to end this or his introduction to my mother was not going to pleasant. Not that she cared, she already disliked him on principle.
"Shhh… it's ok, I'm fine I'm use to it."
"No one should talk to you that way" he said kissing me and moving his lips to my neck I couldn't help the moan that escaped me.
"Bella?" Oh I had forgotten about her.
"Yes, mom, I'm still here" I said as I felt my cheek and neck began to warm "Look mom, I know you mean well and I don't want to fight with you so I'm just gonna go. I wish you could just…." I couldn't finish my thought to her I never could I wanted to tell her that I wished she would just Love me for me but, I knew no matter what I said she would just turn it around on me or tune me out so I sighed "Good night mom"
"Goodnight Bella, We will discuss this more later" Mom said knowing that we both didn't want to push the other any further. I hung up the phone and sat there in Edward's lap as the tears began to fall.
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