Meant To Be
Bella's life has known great pain. But as her twin brother, Emmett, comes home and brings his roommate, Edward with him. Can Bella let go of her tragic past and find love and trust in another? AH Lemons and mature themes, Cannon Couples.
6. Chapter 6: Ready to Feel Now
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"I'm an idiot" I said to my best friends. As I slump down in my vanity chair in my room, after a nice long shower, as they began to attack me with makeover like tortures. First up were Alice and the blow dryer. While Alice dried my hair, I looked up to see that, she looked like she had something to say but was holding it for when I could actually hear her. So I sat back and waited as I heard the dryer cut on and closed my eyes as my brain started to review how stupid I was.
I. Am. An. Idiot. I have known Edward a week… A WEEK! And all I can think about is leaving my dad's house and moving in with him. Yeah no wonder he looked like I was crazy! Well, really he didn't, he looked happy to begin with, like he was going to except, then shocked and lastly worried.
But, I couldn't let it go. I wanted to be with him. I needed him here with me. It wasn't really about him moving, not really, I just wanted him with me, and I didn't want to grow a relationship, no matter how strong with him not with me. So I wanted him here, not in Port Angeles and hour away. No wanted him with me, (always, if I was being honest with myself, but I also knew I was being selfish) I needed to have him close and I knew I wasn't ready to leave my sleepy town of Forks yet. Although for the life of me, I don't know why.
I wasn't scared to move out of my father's house and Charlie would understand (him and Alice, more than anyone had seen the changes in me). If I could have done it in high school I would have. But I didn't, then college came and I moved there to live in the dorms and try to have a normal college experience. Yeah, that one worked out, I never made it to the dorms, instead I moved in with Jake and my life went to shit.
I thought on that for a moment. A little over a week ago, just eight days ago, my life was hell, I didn't leave the house to go anywhere, Alice got the groceries for the house, Dad did everything else. I stayed in my bedroom finishing my spring courses online and emailed my editing to my work from my laptop. I was pathetic, now that was eights days ago. In seven days my life had changed completely, altered, rearranged, and in the best way possible, I had found my soul mate. I was sure, Edward brought me out of my shell, made me feel complete, stood up for me but, let me fight my own battles, all while standing beside me. He made me feel sexy, loved, strong, and passionate (about him anyway). And he said I did all those things for him too. He was my match that once in a lifetime love. I looked around the room and realized I wasn't the only lucky one. Rose had Emmett, although it was debatable on who was lucky, depending on the day and how annoying Em was being.
Rose had become like a sister to me, I figured that one day, probably soon, she would be. She had strong feelings, fiercely loyal, and never was afraid to speak her mind, to anyone. Emmett needed that, someone to guide him. He was more like a child in some ways but he always made me laugh and smile. I was glad that he could do that for Rose too and that he had someone who loved him as much as he loved her.
The same could be said for Alice and Jasper. Their match was unique to put it mildly; they found each other while traveling. Alice was visiting friends in New York over Christmas Holiday several years ago. When she was on her way home she got a call from some family in Texas, who had asked her to fly down and see them while she was out of school, so instead of boarding a flight to Washington she changed her flight to Austin, Texas. When she boarded the plane there was Jasper in the seat next to hers.
They spent the entire flight talking, getting to know one another. Jasper was a junior at the University of Texas, majoring in history. He wanted to be a teacher; Alice had told him that she wanted to be a designer. He lived in Austin with his family commuting back and forth to school from his family's ranch. They talked about everything and anything. By the time the plane landed, they had had their first kiss with one another. She didn't want to leave him but, he had to get home and see his parents and she was visiting her cousins for the next four days. But they traded numbers and texted and talked the entire time. Alice said she couldn't get him out of her mind the entire time she was there and it was obvious Jasper felt the same. When it was time for Alice to head back to Washington she was greeted at her gate with Jasper. He told her that he didn't want to lose her and prayed that she would keep in touch. It has been hard on both of them but they made it work. Skype became their best friend and they took turns visiting each other on holidays. They're love had be instant, fast, hard and unstoppable. And they wouldn't have it any other way. Not that much different than Edward's and mine. It had been Jasper's choice to move up here. Alice had said she would go but, Jasper had said that he wanted to see more that "Just Texas" and Alice wasn't finished with school yet.
So about the time my miracle walked into my life in the form of Edward. Alice had finally got her miracle back, full time and living with her, no wonder we hadn't spent anytime together. I didn't realize till just then, how much I had missed them, all of them. I perked up as the blow dryer finally went off. I looked up to see my best friends looking at me.
Great! I was going to get an ear full, I could feel it.
"Do you love him?" Alice asked cocking her head to the side. What the hell kind of question was that?
"You know the answer to that, you both do" I breathed "Yes, I love him more than I can explain, what does that have to do with anything?"
"Everything" Rose said with a smirk on her face "Do you think you can control love, Bella? Control how you feel? Control how fast things go?"
"I…" I answer that how?
"No I didn't think so" Rose said her smirk growing to a toothy grin.
"He loves you too" Rose continued. Obviously Alice was siding with Rose on this line of questioning because she had plopped herself on my bed and sat there smug, like she was waiting on me to learn my lesson or something.
"I know he does" I said "What is your point? I stilled screwed up, he looked at me like I was a little crazy today I asked him to move in with me, I showed him Grandma Swans, played for him and he played for me! It was the best day of my life and I screwed it up by moving too fast" I rambled, both my girls were silent for a moment, but, still had smiles on their faces although their eyes were wide. Especially Alice's because she understood how big of a leap I had just taking.
Sky diving off into the Atlantic Ocean big! ….. Idiot!
But it was Rose's face that was the interesting one. She had this look of bliss and knowledge on her face. I narrowed my eyes at her and pointed to her. She was hiding something "SPILL IT" I practically bellowed at her "Your hiding something from me, what do you know?"
She waited for me to calm down, her grin never leaving her face as she began to speak "I know a lot of things Bella but, first, you aren't the only one that jumped off the cliff a little heavy, Edward did too. Heavy for him anyway… You said he played for you?"
I nodded hoping if I stayed quite she would continue
"Do you know he hasn't played in years, only with his god daughters and that was just to teach them how to play? He never plays for recreation or himself, for no one really, the fact that he played for you… well, that's a testament to his love and commitment for you. He wouldn't do that for Lauren no matter how much the bitch begged. He wouldn't play for Esme either."
I couldn't believe it. His playing was amazing, I never questioned that he played once he said he knew how. I just assumed that he wouldn't mind playing for me. He loved me more that I realized and it humbled me. He broke down a wall for me after I asked him to play for me. It made me wonder if there was anything he would not do for me. I knew there wasn't anything I would not do for him. I was lost in my thoughts until I heard Rose clear her throat and I looked up as she continued.
"Secondly, do you know he called his mother and Tanya? He has planned for you to meet them when we fly back to Chicago at the end of the summer. He has never done that for anyone either Bella, both of those women mean the world to him; he has never brought a girlfriend to them willingly, Tanya and Esme would have to beg to meet them and they were always, ALWAYS, disappointed. He couldn't wait to call them this morning, I overheard him talking to them both, Bella, and I have never seen him so blissful, so happy as he told them about you, that he loved you, that this was the real thing. So in my opinion who gives a shit about anyone else as long as you are both comfortable living to together? Who gives a flying fuck about how soon it happens? Why are you so scared, he won't regret it Bella, you can't regret this kind of love. Is that what you're so scared of?"
Typical Rose, she hit the nail on the head. As always, she saw the real problem. He had talked to his mom and best friend about me. He was making leaps too, trusting me, trusting us both. I wanted to meet his family, we had talked about and agreed that I would go back to Chicago with him at the end of summer and I figured I would meet his family then I just didn't know that he had already called them; I thought he would wait till closer to time. Obviously I had underestimated his love for me. A grave error on my part. I promised myself not to do that again. But that didn't push aside my biggest fear.
"I don't want him to think we're moving too fast and I am pushing him too far."
"Did you say that to him?"
I nodded, and she narrowed her eyes at me. Oh, this can't be good.
"Maybe you are an idiot, you know that makes him think that you are just jumping head first and not thinking, so let me guess, he didn't say no – of course not, I'm sure he would love to say yes to that idea, because he loves you and wants you- no, I bet he didn't say no, but he didn't say yes either, right?
I nodded again. Scared to open my big fat mouth.
"Quit over thinking shit! Quit thinking you're not good enough for him, for whatever, sick demented reason you have in that silly head of yours. Just love him, and let him love you, you over think ever thing. I swear to God I don't know how you and Emmett lived together in the same womb for nine months you are total opposites, sometimes" She said smiling at me as she threw her hands in the air. Finally falling onto the bed with Alice as we all begin to laugh. She was right Emmett and I were total opposites, it hard always been hard for people to think of us as twins.
I breathed deep, settling down from my laugh, she was right. I had to learn to push my thoughts back and just love him. The few times I had done that, things had been easier, lighter. I vowed to myself that I would do that from now on; just let my love for him lead us in the right direction, no more second guessing.
If I thought I was done with this conversion than I was wrong, my pixie best friend had moved from fixing my hair to my makeup my while Rose had talked since into me, but, she hadn't said her piece yet and Alice always has something to say. The woman could read me like a book, so I wasn't surprised when she handed the makeup over to Rose to finish and then sat down on the floor in front of me. Her eyes were happy and peacefully but also serious somehow.
"You took him to grandma Swan's?" She asked quietly
"Yes, I wanted him to see every part of me, I wanted him to see my safe place and that also just happen to be where the piano was" I said in a whisper. I wasn't sure where she was going with this but; I knew she would get around to it eventually.
She nodded and paused thoughtfully before she began to speak again. "What are you so frightened of? Do you think he'll leave you?"
"No, I think we both know we are in this together for the long haul. It's not a fear really, but I want him with me, beside me, always. I just hope he wants that too"
"I think he does Bella, men don't act the way Edward does if they aren't head over heels in love with you. He would have walked away by now if he didn't plan on staying, what else?"
"I feel so out of control around him, ever since Jacob I have spent all my time being in control I have to have it. But, when I'm with Edward I find I don't want it, that I feel free and safe with him. But that leaves me vulnerable, open to get hurt, -though I know he never would do that- So I find myself jerked around by my emotions one minute I know what I want, the next all I can think of is him, I want to be what he needs, I care more for him than I do myself, but he makes me feel the same way. It's so strong, I can't help but go with it, it's only when I fight it…. And that just feels so wrong, I want to give into it I just am scared" I said finally facing my fears. I felt better just putting it out there, like that was most of the battle anyway.
"I know you love him Bella, and I agree with Rose, let your heart guide you. You have seen through my relationship that, that works well, for those in relationships that come on suddenly and deeply. Your love is similar to both Rose and mines relationships. I hope you know how blessed you are" She said still talking quietly, gently to me. But she was right I knew how blessed I was, I said thanks every day, several times a day to the creator above for this man that loved me so much, that has changed me so much.
"Trust me, I know, I have never felt this much love… this much…. Passion." I said. She smiled at me as I said the last word like I had said what she was getting to.
"Your new at this" It was a statement, but it was Alice's way of getting me to talk. She knew that I was scared of the physical aspects of any relationship and that I am a private person, but somehow she knew that I needed to get this off my chest, she was giving me an opening. I was taking it.
"Yes, I am, but the feelings are so strong" I said and Rose and Alice both smiled and nodded waiting on me to continue.
"I want him. I have never wanted any one like I want him. I want to wrap myself around him and never let go. I always said that I would know when I was ready to start anything physical I just didn't think the feeling would be this strong or overwhelming. Every time I touch him my knees go weak, he kisses me and it's like I've been plugged into a electrical socket… and my dreams… they have turned from nightmares to… erotic thoughts personified" I said rambling, knowing that only these two women in this room would understand what I was feeling. That they would be able to help me, guide me, but, not judge me. I looked up at them and saw all of that in their faces as they were nodding at me. I looked back down to my hands as I continued.
"I want to explore it, I just don't know how. I don't want him to question it, question us, I realize now that every time he has questioned where we stand it's because he is worried about me and how I feel, because I keep pushing us forward and then pulling back. I don't want to do that anymore, I just want forward… but, I have never just wanted to feel… he makes me feel sexy, complete, empowered. I want to fit at his side so no one will doubt I belong there. I'm tired of feeling weak; I won't to be strong for him, for us." I rambled, letting all my feelings and fears fall out of my mouth knowing that airing it here in this safe place was as good as any, better really.
Alice and Rose giggled lightening the mood instantly.
"Oh! Honey! That's just the begging wait till you actually have sex! You want to able to keep you hands off each other. What have you done, so far? Maybe we can help" Rose said and Alice nodded as she got up and went to her bag grabbing a red box with a big white bow on it, sitting it in my lap.
"I know you're scared but there's nothing to be scared of. You love him and he loves you just go with it but I bet you have questions?" Alice said giggling. I nodded. I wasn't so much scared as worried about not pleasing him, I was glad to have waited but, I was new and inexperienced what if I did something and it was really bad. They were right I needed their help. "We will give you advice and you will wear this tonight and knock his socks off. But you'll need to let me pack an overnight bag, I think you both need alone time with each other, before we go to the hot springs next weekend. So you can just simply take your time. You can go back to grandma Swan's and fix your verbal diarrhea." She giggled at me as I opened the box, I gasped.
I had never worn anything like this before; it was a deep blue corset, which had thin straps that were made of delicate black and blue lace. It tied in the back and the laces were black. Also in the box was a pair of black leather pants. When I looked up with what I knew had to be wide eyes there was the cutest pair of peep toes black and blue pumps in my best friend's hands they matched my corset perfectly.
"Alice… I can't… I've never… "
"Shhh… Bella" She cooed. "I tell you what lets get it on, finish getting ready and then you can look in the mirror, if you don't like it or think it's too much we will go with another option I have. Ok?"
I nodded. I wasn't sure about this but I had just vowed no moments ago to try harder and not second guess anymore, Alice had never lead me wrong so far, there had to be a reason she thought I would need these things.
"You have questions" Rose prompted, getting us back on track from Alice's surprise. I nodded again, collecting my breath and my thoughts.
"I don't know how to be sexy… how to do anything… I mean I know the technical gist of everything but I never really thought about it… not it until now" I said looking at my hands and feeling my cheeks redden.
Rose smiled down at me putting the last touches on my makeup and then setting it back on the vanity. She sat down in the floor so she could look up at me. She had the kindest smile on her face.
"You do, you just don't know how to use it" I looked at her funny and she laughed. "Bella, when it comes to being sexy, it's easy, playing hard to get works, bat you eyelashes at him, flirt, and most of all just having fun and showing confidence in yourself and him go a long way." She said smiling and giggling. I couldn't help but giggle with her. They were right about everything. I was just going to have to go with it, and find what I was comfortable with.
"Just be yourself, the post Edward Bella and you'll be fine! He won't know what hit him! As for everything else, you may have to let him guide you the first time around, Jasper had to that for me, it was perfect, better than anything I could have done on my own" Alice said as she turned me around.
I gasped as I looked at myself. The outfit was perfect; it curved and fit in all the right places. Alice got on her tip toes and added black chandelier earrings and a black and blue lace choker around my throat. My hair was wavy and sprawling down my back long and gracious, my makeup was natural with just a pop of color to bring out my eyes. I looked like me but, I didn't, I looked refined, delicate, and honestly, sexy. I felt better than I had in years and I felt like I would fit at Edwards's side. I suddenly couldn't wait to see him.
"Wow! I look…. Hot! I feel sexy! Thank you so much. I love you guys" I said hugging my best friends "Thank you for everything I didn't know how much I needed to talk, to have girl time"
"I know us too" Alice said, as Rose nodded in agreement.
"You're going to knock him dead! Come on Alice let's get ready so we can meet up with the guys at the bar"
The girls hurried to get ready both of them ending up looking stunning, Alice in a simply yet stylish LBD with black crystals hanging off the hem at the bottom, wearing the diamond earrings that Jasper had given her for her birthday this past year and black sling backs. Rose always looked gorgeous in her skin tight red dress and red pumps with black accent jewelry. We all look like we were dressed to kill. I couldn't wait to see the looks on the guys faces when we walked into bar. But, more than that I couldn't wait to show off my new post Edward Bella self; to show Edward that I had truly let go and was ready to just love again to love him and only him.
As soon as we got back to Charlie's. I was dragged to my room by my girlfriend's best friend and told to get everything I would need for tonight together and drive with Emmett over to her place. That pixie! Alice was a force to be reckoned with and I wasn't pushing her buttons, no not today. So I got my things together and met Emmett at my car. He said Alice and Rose had told him to take my car and they would be bringing Rose's BMW and Jasper was to drive Alice's Porsche to the bar so that each couple would have a car to ride home in. I didn't really care. I missed Bella already and I couldn't get this afternoon out of my head. Emmett could tell something was bothering me and Emmett being Emmett he was just blunt about it.
"Are you and Bella ok? Did you have a fight?" He asked looking at me concerned as I turned onto the highway.
"No! Not at all it was a great day. She took me to Grandma Swan's she played for me and I for her" I said smiling and remembering the day. It had been perfect all of it.
"She did what!" He looked at me wide eyed and if I hadn't been paying attention to the road the volume of his voice would have made me go into the other lane. I think he realized this and before he spoke again his voice was calmer. "She has never taken anyone there Ed. That's her…"
"Safe place, yeah I know that's what she said. I was humbled trust me" And I was, if truth be told her offer to have me move with her there was so tempting it was ridiculous how bad I wanted it. I had learned after the first twenty four hours in the presence of Bella Swan that she had my heart and I knew that I would never get it back, and I didn't want it back as long as she had it. I wanted her that was it. So when she said that she wanted me to move with her, I wanted to jump for joy and tell her to go pack her stuff and let's stay there tonight & every night. But, I held myself back for her. I wanted her to be sure. I didn't want it to be because she was scared of what would happen if I went to Port Angeles to live. I wanted her to make sure this is what she wanted. That she was ready for all the steps that went with moving in and I knew she wasn't ready yet. So I held back for her,
She had been confused and a little hurt and embarrassed to begin with but, I made sure she understood that I was NOT saying no to her offer. I was really saying to wait and let me answer it later. I was hoping by the time the summer was done we would know what was better for us. When I had explained that to her she seemed like she understood but there was doubt in her eyes I could see it. But, I knew only time would take that away. Emmett brought me out of my thoughts quickly as he coughed and then spoke.
"You played for her"
I nodded, knowing he was looking at me. But I kept my eyes on the road. He knew what this meant and Rose did too, if Bella told the girls that I played for her, I knew Rose would open up and tell the truth on why I didn't play, or rather that I didn't play for anyone, not even myself. After my biological mother passed away I started drifting from playing. But Esme loved it so much that I continued and in time I found solace in the music, even writing my own compositions, playing came as easy as breathing. But the more I played the more lonely I felt because I knew that there was only really one or two people I had to play for and that made my music turn sad and morose. I had always played because I loved it but, it had turned into a sign of loneliness, never finding someone or something that made me truly happy so I walked away from it and only played with my goddaughters Haley and Nichole because Tanya had begged me to teach them and they loved it so much that I couldn't deign them anything, I loved those two little girls so much. So I taught them and taught them well but, I never let myself get back into it not really, not until today. I felt lighter when I sat at the piano today like the world was off my chest.
I was happy and at peace because Bella had been there she had become my star in the darkest sky. I was finally truly happy and loved. When I sat down to the keys, the music followed from me. The music was even better from Bella, but the sound of us playing together in harmony I was struck dumb by the sheer sound of it and I couldn't wait to have that experience with her again.
"She played for you?" Emmett said bringing once again from my thoughts. "Yes, she's amazing" I said remembering her fingers splayed across the keys. The dip of head, the smell of her hair, – like fresh strawberries- The glisten of her skin as the sun light drifted in from the bay windows, the way the rocked with the music. It was erotic. Emmett's voice stopped those thoughts cold.
"She is, it's been along time she since played for anyone. She played for Gramma Swan and me and dad of course. She played for Jake in the earlier years but, he didn't have much patience for it. She stopped after Gramma died; she would only play for herself in that house so no one could hear. When she would some back home from being over there for whatever reason, is the only time I think I ever saw her be truly happy."
I didn't know what to say to that, other than to think that Bella and I seemed similar in a lot of ways and very different in others.
"She asked me to move in with her there" I said looking at him as he pointed to the apartment complex that was Jasper and Alice's. I pulled into a parking spot and waited for an explosion but, it never came.
"It's about time she got out from dad's roof, she's always wanted to live there, and there's no way she leaving you. She loves you. Her love reminds me a lot of the way I feel for Rose" He said smiling at me. "When are you moving?"
"We're not, not yet anyway?"
"Why? Don't you want that? You could have privacy and you could both have your own space, you are so similar in most ways, and she's perfect for you, why are you second guessing?" Emmett purged
"I'm not second guessing I'm making sure that she really wants this, it's a huge step and I don't want her to regret it, regret me." I said honestly as we got out of the car and grabbed our things moving up the steps to the second floor flat. I rang the door bell as I heard Jasper get up and come to the door.
"Look man she won't, Bells doesn't do anything without over thinking it, I would think about reconsidering" He said as Jasper opened the door.
"Come in, Alice said you were to get ready here, I'm sorry he tossed you out of your own house" He said looking at Em and laughing
"It's cool I'm used to it by now"
"Yeah they've been best friends a while, It's good to see you again Edward"
"You too Jasper, have you found a job for the fall yet?" I asked. I liked Jasper, he said very little, but what he said what always thought through and wise. He had a since of humor that I had seen some over the past week. I knew that with us all living here we would become good friends. I had fallen so easy into life here in Washington, in Forks, I knew that was because of Bella, I loved Bella and that was enough for everyone to accept me fully. I was grateful and humbled, but, I knew it would be that way for Bella when I took her home, or at least I had strong hopes that it would.
"Yes, actually, Forks High needs a baseball coach and a history teacher, I played some college baseball and so they hired me for both positions. I start when school starts." He said smiling "How are you a Bella? Alice says she is absolutely smitten"
"We're great. And trust me she's not the only one" Both the guys laughed at that.
"I know what you mean, Alice swept me off my feet in a matter of moments as soon as she sat down in her seat on that airplane" He smiled remembering. Bella had told me their story and I had been floored but it also gave me and Bella great hope for us. It a lot of ways our stories were similar.
"She asked him to move into Grandma Swan's place, you know the one Bella got from our grandmother, that she remodeled after she died." Emmett said. I smiled but said nothing.
"So when are you moving in?" Jasper said with a toothy grin. But when I shook my head his face wrinkled together. "Why not?"
"Don't you think it's too soon? And Bella keeps pushing and pulling. One minute she is all go and then she pulls back. She gives me whiplash" I said honestly. "I can wait till she's sure"
Jasper didn't say anything but, Em was just shaking his head, going out of the room to get ready. Finally, Jasper looked at me.
"Do you feel it's too soon? Too soon for any of it?" I knew what he meant he wasn't just talking about the house he was talking about getting more attached and maybe even moving forward with Bella, I was grateful he had waited for Emmett to leave. There we things I wanted to ask that I couldn't do with my girlfriends twin brother in the room. I just couldn't do that to either of them.
"No, not really I would just feel better if she wouldn't pull back from me"
"Have you thought about the changes she has gone through in a week?" he asked quietly
I stopped to think. I was a fool. How could I not think about that. She wasn't pulling from me she was trying to figure out where we fit and we worked she was adjusting to us and I was being an ass by not just giving her what she needed someone to guide her and help her. Jasper looked into my eyes and he could tell that I got it. He nodded, and then sat back down.
"She loves you Ed" he said and I smiled at my nickname that Jasper had pickup from Emmett. "She has changed so much, she never acted this way with Jacob, and she was always on egg shells even before… you know. Every time, I meet her it would take days to get her to loosen up. Something you managed to do in a matter of minutes. After her abuse… well no one could touch her but Charlie and Alice, she shied away from all contact really, do you know that she hugged me the other day at the beach? She hasn't done that in a while. You're good for her. Just guide her a little and let her lead when she needs to and everything will be fine"
I knew she had changed but, I didn't realize how much. I promised myself to talk to Bella again about the house and everything. Hoping that we could move forward.
Jasper looked at the door and then back to me. "I don't mean to pry, truly I don't but, how far…" he let his words drag off and I looked at the door that Em had walked into.
"Not far, but I can tell we both want it, but she is so new and I want her to take her time if that's what she wants"
He nodded. "Alice figured it was something like that, that's good, but remember that you may need to guide her, I had to do that for Alice, she was… like Bella. Don't underestimate what she will give you Edward it is the greatest of gifts, trust me, I had had others before Allie but, none compared, because I had never truly loved them, Allie has always had my heart I just had to find her first." He said quietly
"I know, I will… I feel the same about Bella, I just want it to be on her time" He nodded and the conversation ceased as my phone vibrated in my pocket and Em came back in the room. As I pulled my phone out I saw Jasper head done the hall to get ready.
I miss you, I have a surprise for you when I see you, love you – B
I texted her back quickly and I felt the smile spread on my face.
Mmm… I miss you too. Can I get a hint? –E
Nope. Would you be ok staying at GS's tonight with me- B
I smiled. I would stay anywhere with her.
It that the surprise? All of us staying?-E
Nope and no just us- B
-Sounds good love, gtg get ready. See you soon- E
Can't wait love you- b
I put my phone in my pocket and went to change. Within an hour we were leaving our house and on our way to the bar in Port Angeles. Em rode with Jasper to show him the way while I followed them. We pulled into a bar call Eclipse and got out.
The music in the bar had a good feel to it and there were pool tables on one side of the place and dance floor on the other, giving to option to dance or play. We walked up to the bar, all the guys order beers. We sat there for another twenty minutes before I saw every man's head turn towards the door and I heard some girls start to fuss at their boyfriends for looking. I didn't realize who had come in the door or why there was so much fuss until I say Alice and Rose. They looked beautiful and I heard Em cuss under his breath and Jasper suck in a deep breath. But when I saw Bella I had to grab the bar to keep myself upright.
She was in a deep blue corset that lifted her breasts and showed them off. While the color made her skin glisten. The top hugged her curves but so did the black leather pants that clung to her hips and made her legs look a mile long as they flowed to her feet to end were a black and blue pair of high heel shoes. I got hard just looking at her. She was a goddess, temptation personified and I couldn't get to her fast enough. I wasn't sure I had enough control to keep my hands to myself and prayed that she didn't want me too. I waited for her to join the rest of us. I couldn't tell what anyone else was doing or saying my eyes were only for her and she stepped in front of me with the cutest and sexiest look on her face.
"Surprise" she said turning around in circle in front of me.
I bent to kiss her. Trying to keep it chaste but, failing. I released her lips after a moment then nuzzled my face into her neck, running my nose up her neck and to her ear where I sucked to lobe into my mouth a lightly bit down. She gasped but, didn't pull back, instead she hugged me closer and I knew she could feel all of me. I felt her face warm in a blush.
"Hello, love, Thank you I love my surprise, but I hope you know that I won't be able to keep my hands off you tonight you look stunning" I said into her ear and I felt her shiver. "Cold, love?" She shook her head. I heard people laughing behind me and then I noticed our position we were wrapped around on another. She had one leg between mine, knowing she could feel how very hard she was making me. I had my hands around her back and hers were on my chest as well as her head she was burrowed into me. I couldn't find it in me to complain, the very opposite I only wanted her closer. I was ready to leave this bar now. I wasn't sure how long we would be able to stay but suddenly, I was glad that we had our own way home.
"Come on, let's get you a drink. What would you like?" I said to her.
"Just a beer is fine with me" she said smiling "I'm a simple girl a heart." She let go of me but not before kissing my cheek and turning around to head off towards the bar.
We turned around to find our friends already getting their drinks and watching us. I walk up next to Jasper who was wearing a smile as her had his arms wrapped around Alice and she was wearing a knowing grin.
"What are you smiling at pixie" I said after placing my order for mine and Bella's beers.
"Nothing, just watching my best friend be content and happy" she said with a smile as she looked over to Bella who was currently joking with her twin and his girlfriend. She was bent over laughing at something, doubt Emmett had said, I couldn't help but smile at her. I would find a way to always make sure she was this happy, everyday, no matter what I had to do. "It's been a long time since I've seen her just relax"
"I know Alice, I… well she does that for me too"
"I know" She smiled "You're going to her work with her this week?"
"Yeah she wants me to meet her bosses"
Alice chuckled, "You'll like them, and I hope they can talk her into working in the office, and she would be close to you, and it would be good for her"
"She thinks they will ask her, but she isn't sure what she wants yet, I think she is focusing on her last set of classes"
Alice nodded, she was quite for a minute then, she looked up from her glass. "She asked you to move with her to Grandma Swan's" I was a statement not a question.
I looked at her for a moment, of course Bella would tell her best friend, I didn't really care but it took me a moment to form my words.
"Yeah" Not wanting to give her too much information.
"Something about Bella you should know, she doesn't say it unless she means it" Alice said getting off her stool and grabbing Jasper's hand pulling him to the dance floor. She stopped and turned around smiling back at me "Just hear her out, loves not suppose to have a time table, you both need to learn that" She said turning back around.
She was right and that was basically what Jasper had said too. But, I didn't want to think on that right now, all I wanted was to dance with my girl. I walked over to where she was standing with her brother, I came up from behind wrapping my arms around her waist. She started to jump until she recognized my touch and leaned into my chest.
"I missed you" she whispered looking up at me. I couldn't resist I planted a kiss on her lips, but pulled away too quickly and smiled at her.
"Me too. Dance with me?"
She nodded, but her cheeks flushed, "I am known to be a bad dancer, but I love to dance, so I'm just warning you, that you may not have any toes left after you dance with me" She said with a smile
I smiled back, a bent down to whisper in her ear, "Let me be the judge of that, I'll take my chances, besides I can't stand to have you so far away from me" I took her hand and lead her to the dance floor where the DJ was playing Nice and Slow by Usher, Bella turned her back to me as her bottom brushed up against me and I grazed my hands down her sides, pulling her arms around my neck as the chorus hit.
Let me take you to a place nice and quiet
There ain't no one there to interrupt
Ain't gotta rush
Bella swayed her hips and I felt her brush my cock several times with her movements, making it hard to focus on anything other than wanting to take her back to her house and make her mine, but instead, I bent over and took her ear lobe into my mouth nibbling on it. As she continue to tease me. As I moved from her ear to her neck I heard her moan and she pushed her body up against my cock harder, causing me to moan into her neck. As the music continued I felt my need for her growing.
I just wanna take it nice and slow
(now baby tell me what you wanna do with me)
See I've been waiting for this for so long
We'll be makin' love until the sun comes up
I just wanna take it nice and slow
(now baby tell me what you wanna do with me)
She song ended and Bella turned around to me. I pulled her into a passionate kiss only letting go of her soft lips when I heard my best friend speaking behind me.
"Come on Ed, let's play some pool, Boys against girls" Bella looked up at me, her chest still heaving from our kiss. She nodded and led me over to the pool table, where she put both hands on her hips. She had a look that could kill, pointed directly at her twin "No Cheating Em, I mean it!" she said, Em started laughing.
"All is fair game you know that" Bella looked like she was going to argue, and I couldn't help but chuckle, then she turned to look at me wearing at mischievous gleam in her eyes, that scared me a little. "Do you feel the same way Mr. Cullen?" she said sweetly
"Well that how we usually play" Bella looked back to her brother and then to the girls. Alice and Rose had looks that looked like Bella's and I knew right then they were planning something and I would probably regret stating an opinion on the matter.
"Ok well, then all's fair, it goes both ways, just remember that when we beat your asses" she said with a smirk pointing at Emmett and then me.
"Hell Yeah! Let's go! Toss for the break?" Bella nodded for her team as she seemed to be leading on her side as Em seemed to be doing the same for ours. We all grabbed pools sticks as Jasper went to the bar to get the balls for the table.
"Got a quarter?" Bella asked me under her lashes.
"Yeah, here" I said digging out a quarter from my pocket. "Ready? Call it love"
"Heads" Bella said. I flip the coin in the air only for it to land back in my hand a moment later. With the tails side up.
"Sorry love, Our shot first" I leaned down to kiss her, before moving over to the pool table.
"I'll break" Jasper said. Jasper leaned over the table breaking the triangle of solids and strips in the middle of the table. Landing a solid in the right corner pocket.
"SOLIDS! For the men!" Emmett bellowed and I saw Bella shake her head out of the corner of my eye.
Jasper got two more balls in before he scratched the cue ball. Then it was the girls turn. Alice went first only getting one ball in, followed by Emmett who scratched and Bella roared with laughter and Rose did too. When it was Rose's turn Em decided playing fair was no longer in the cards.
Rose bent down to line up her shot and Emmett took her aim, sliding his pool stick up between her legs just as she slid her pool stick towards the cue, making it scratch clear off the table only to be caught by Bella, who was scowling at her brother..
"That's it, Em. It's on!"
I took the cue ball from Bella, but instead of staying where she was perched on her stool she followed me to the table.
"Better view love?" I asked teasing her.
"mmmhmmm, more than you know" She said licking her lips, I felt myself get hard and knew immediately that I was in trouble. I looked up at the guys and saw Jasper and Alice both laughing, when I looked at Emmett he almost had a sad look on his face, but more resolved than anything. When I looked back at Bella I noticed her chest heaving from the corset and how the blue form the fabric showed off her creamy skin, I couldn't help my need to want to just lay my cheek against her breast.
I tried to focus on the game but it was impossible so I took at shot at the closest solid I could find on the table, but missed it b a mile because as I got ready to shoot Bella, slipped her hand into my back pocket of my jeans and grabbed my ass, squeezing it firming in her hands, I jerked in surprise and turned around only to find Bella with a smile on her face.
"My turn" she said going to the other side of the table. But I wasn't letting her get away that easy, it was my turn now. Bella lined up her shot and I watched as she took down three strips with precision and grace. I decided as she made her next shot that I would wait until she was shooting for the eight ball to make my move. Two balls later, I leaned in behind her, covering her body with mine, I could feel every curve of her as the corset and leather left little to imagine. I bent over her back as the pulled her pool stick back to make her shot, she paused "Eight ball, right side pocket" she said breathily, I took her earlobe in my mouth as she shot but, she didn't flinch as I thought she would, she made her shot and as I heard a roar from the girls, Bella turned to face me taking my face in her hands and drawing me into a searing kiss. I don't know how long we stayed like that each giving and taking in a kiss that blindsided us both with, lust and passion. I was hard as stone, and I could feel Bella's heat up against my leg as she begin to need to find some kind of friction.
I pulled back from her and we both groaned at the loss. "You ready to leave, love?"
She nodded and turned to say goodnight everyone. I followed her out car, opening her door for her.
"Grandma Swan's house?" she said in more of a question than a statement.
"You're sure Bella?" I looked at her so she knew I was asking about more than just a staying at her home. But she was already nodding her head.
"I've never been more sure about anything, I'm sure about you Edward"
I nodded back at her, I sent a silent prayer to the man upstairs for whatever I had dine to be given this beautiful woman, who for some reason loved me unconditionally, irrevocably, passionately and I knew that I loved her just as fiercely.
I couldn't wait to be alone with her but, I knew we still needed to take our time, I had resolved myself that I would let her lead, but I would not allow her t pressure herself into doing anything we might regret.
But as we got closer to the house, I could feel the butterflies in my stomach, Bella had been quite the whole way and that made me think that maybe I wasn't the only own who was nervous. I parked the car in the drive and got out running to get Bella's door.
As I touched her hand the tension released and she visibly relaxed, I grabbed my and her overnight bags out of the trunk as she led us inside after unlocking the door.
"I'm beginning to really like it here" I said quietly breaking the silence.
"It's one of my favorite places" Bella said leading us to the master bedroom. I laid our bags down in a chair as I saw Bella crawl into the middle of the bed.
She crooked her finger at me beckoning me too her, there was nowhere I rather be and I went fast and willingly. When I reached her side I wrapped my arms around her waist I pulled her into a kiss, we had kiss while she was in my arms in her room back at her father's plenty of times over the past week, but this was differently, more passionate, more love felt like it was here and I couldn't bring myself to break the kiss. I rolled myself over her and she moaned as my knee found its way in between her legs.
Her moan combined with my name sounded like heaven and I pulled my lips from her to let her breath only to give open mouthed kisses and nips to her neck.
"Edward… wait" I stopped immediately pulling back from her looking into her eyes expecting to find fear, but I saw none, no instead I saw the same look her eyes that must have been in mine, undying love and adoration.
"What's wrong love?"
"Nothing…. I just don't know what I'm doing…"
"Bella, we don't have to do anything, laying her with you holding you as you sleep is more than enough, we can wait, take your time" I said honestly, her gaze softened as she leaned slowly into me. Her eyes burned with a look of desire from my words.
"It means everything for you to say that… you don't know how much, but that is why I know this is right, but, I have never… I want this… to be… to be good for you too" She looked at me and through the moonlight windows I saw her cheeks were red, my Bella wasn't telling me know she was telling me yes, but was worried, I thought back to my discussion with Jasper to 'you made need to guide her' he had said.
I smiled at her, letting her tensions calm down in her body. I wanted to help her, with whatever she wanted and this seemed to be what she wanted most right now.
"Will you let me show you love?" I asked looking straight into her eyes "We'll go slowly, take steps… is that what you want?"
"Yes" she said crashing her lips to mine.
I meet her kiss with the same passion she was giving me, but instead of wrapping my hands around her waist or on her cheeks I guided one hand around her back, to the laces of her corset, while sliding the other to her side stroking sides. She moaned into my mouth. I brought my hand that was stroking her side down further finding the zipper of her pants, her breath hitched as she thought I might take them off.
"Not yet my love, slowly remember?" She nodded against my lips as I ran my hand down her waist to her thighs. "Bella, I'm going to touch her over your clothes, is that ok love?"
"Yes… Please" she said spurring me on. I removed my hand that was around her back to around neck tailing across the soft skin until I reached her soft but firm perky breast, I ran made fingers under the bottom of them and moan. I further explored her breast taking my time rubbing my thumb across her nipples only to find that she responded with more breathy moans of my name as her back arched into me.
"God… Edward… I never felt like this… ever… please don't stop" she said, scooting around until I felt her hands on my chest. She looked at me, our eyes locking as her hot little hands began to drag south across my stomach finally reaching the waistband of my pants.
"Bella?" I asked, not really questioning her but rather making sure she was okay with where this could be going
"I want to" she said sliding her hands over my pants to my now firmly hard erection. As she began to stroke me above my clothes, my eyes rolled back into my head.
"Bella…. That feels… so good.." I said barely able to control myself.
"Edward please" she begged as my hand they had been resting on her thigh moved inward towards her womanhood, I felt the heat there and could almost feel the moisture through her pants. I began to rub her right where I knew her clit should be.
"OH GOD!... that feels.. god don't stop" she said as she began to pick up the pace of her stroking on the outside of my jeans.
I allowed myself to put a little more pressure on her as she writhed under me. I could feel myself getting closer to the edge and hope that Bella would come at the same time I did. I rubbed her harder still quickening my pace as her eyes snapped shut and my name crossed her lips.
"Edward… I'm… oh god… I love you...Edward.. ughh" she said as she stilled and the bliss took her over. Watching my Bella come was as close to a religious experience as one may get. She was beautiful… no stunning… but then she always was… but this was different… being able to give her release hearing her scream my name made me fall over the edge right her.
I lay down beside her and pulled her to me. As we laid there for some time just relishing in our bliss together.
"That was… amazing" she said as she turned to face me peppering my face with kisses.
I chuckled "yes, it was… are you ok?"
"Better than ok" she sighed. "So baby steps?"
"Yeah baby steps" I said finally feeling a little discomfort. I rolled off the bed and went to grab my bag as I saw her looking at me with a confused expression.
"I'm going to change, it's a little uncomfortable… " I said, I saw the moment she understood what I meant because her cheeks turned a beautiful shade of rose pink.
"I guess we should get ready for bed?" she said getting up herself "You take this bath room I'll change down the hall.
I went to bathroom, cleaned myself up and changed quickly returning to the bedroom only to find her already under the sheets and her eyes fluttering. I climbed into bed behind her wrapping my arms around her. She sank into me with a sigh.
"I love you Edward" she mumbled as I saw her eyes finally close fully.
"As I love you Bella, sweet dreams my gorgeous girl." I said into her temple kisses her there. Finding myself equally as tired as Bella, I drifted into a peaceful sated sleep with my love at my side.
So come and find me
I'll be waiting up for you
I'll be holding out for you tonight
Yeah, I'm ready to feel now
No longer am I 'fraid of the fall down
It must be time to move on now
Without the fear of how it might end
I guess I'm ready, ready to love again.
Chapter 6: Ready to Feel Now
Ready to Love Again by: Lady Antebellum
Seems I was walking in the wrong direction
I barely recognized my own reflection, no
Scared of love, but scared of life alone
Seems I've been playing' on the safe side baby
Building walls around my heart to save me, oh
But it's time for me to let it go.
Yeah, I'm ready to feel now
No longer am I 'fraid of the fall down
It must be time to move on now
Without the fear of how it might end
I guess I'm ready to love again.
Just when you think that love will never find you
You run away but still it's right behind you, oh
It's just something that we can't control
Yeah, I'm ready to feel now
No longer am I 'fraid of the fall down
It must be time to move on now
Without the fear of how it might end
I guess I'm ready to love again.
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- 24 Mar 11
- 09 Apr 11
- In Progress