Pain of Mating
Mating isn't always easy. It isn't always simple. Sometimes it is complicated. Sometimes there is hate and anger as well as love and need.
1. Chapter 1
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Ok so this is my first attempt at fanfiction so please be kind!! In this story the whole mating process is a bit AU. In my world mating for a vampire is instant like imprinting and very powerful. The males are extremely possessive and protective of their mates and the instinct to claim, love and worship is overwhelming. A soul-deep connection binds and pulls them together. If a vampire mates with another vampire then things are fine, the female understands instinctively and there are no problems. But if a vampire mates with a human then it is a different story altogether. He cannot change her immediately as the bond needs time to strengthen and grow but he can't not be without her as his need to possess and claim is too strong. Furthermore he would want to slaughter everyone around her as his jealousy would overtake. In this story Jasper mates with a human Bella Swan and his only option is to kidnap her and fake her death. This story is about how they cope with what has happened.
Disclaimer – I own nothing of the twilight world. I am merely borrowing them.
Chapter One: Hated Beginnings
It was done. Isabella Swan no longer existed. She died in a car accident when her truck popped a wheel and collided into a tree. She died instantly and was buried this morning by her foster parents next to her father who had been buried only two weeks previously.
I looked down at the beauty on the bed and tried to push my emotions down so that I didn't accidentally infect her with them. She was beautiful, perfection. Long, luxurious waves of chestnut and mahogany brown hair fell down to her waist, long black eye lashes framed eyes which I knew to be the deepest chocolate brown and her lips well full and pouty, the softest pink and begging to be kissed. Her stature was slight, she stood at only five feet four, a full foot shorter than me and while she was slim she was also blessed with soft full curves that I desperately wanted to touch and caress. She was everything I ever wanted. My mate. My reason for being and I knew that she would hate me. She was Isabella Cullen now. As much as I wanted her to take my name I didn't dare give her it as her new identity, I wanted her to consent to be my wife and take my name, although at the moment I doubted she would. I glanced down at my sleeping, human mate and once again felt self-loathing fill me. To kidnap her, take her and fake her death was the only option we could think of that wouldn't lead to all our deaths but I knew that she would in all likelihood not see it like that. I had taken away her freedom, her choice. She is my mate and I had to have her with me and while there are many reasons – good reasons – as to why we did what we did it doesn't change the fact that none of us asked Isabella what she wanted. In fact none of us have ever even spoken to her, never even been introduced and she would hate me, hate us all.
“You are going to have to let her wake up eventually Jazz” Alice said to me, trying to smile supportively. I looked down at the little pixie and I knew she was right. I had been keeping Isabella in a permanent state of lethargy and sleepiness for three days, I would let her wake up just enough to go to the bathroom or have some soup and then sent her back to sleep. It was wrong and yet another reason for her to hate me but firstly I needed to keep her quite and subdued until I could get her moved and secondly – as cowardly – as it seemed, I didn't want to look into her beautiful eyes and see her hatred, anger and fear just yet.
“She's right Major, you need to let your mate wake up and meet you properly” my brother Peter told me in an uncharacteristically serious voice. He and his wife and mate Charlotte had left their home in Texas to join us for awhile and they were both as concerned and worried for me and my mate as the Cullen's were. Finally after another hour I sighed and straightened my shoulders and slowly as the whole family stood and watched I drew my mate out of her sleep. Her eyes opened fully and consciously and for this first time she gazed at me with eyes full of awareness.
I have never heard so many minds full of self-loathing and self-hatred. But then my family has never hated ourselves and what we are as much as we do now. We are all sitting in the living room in silence, misery pouring out of us as we listen to Isabella weep and sob upstairs. Her anger, sorrow and hatred knows no bounds. We had little trouble convincing her of what we were – turns out that those damned wolves were friends of hers and she had heard the stories as a small child. That combined with a small display of our gifts and powers was enough to convince her that we are indeed gifted vampires. No, our trouble lies in the fact that as predicted and feared she hates us. We explained it all, including how the mating works and how we had to fake her death and how for a variety of reasons she was stuck with us, trapped and imprisoned is how she described it. Yet it still took over three hours before she truly understood that we couldn't let her go, couldn't let her leave and now she knows I don't think she will ever forgive us. Suddenly we hear her move and we all look upwards and wait on the proverbial edge of our seats as we listen to her slowly come down the stairs. She stands in the doorway looking very fragile, eyes red from crying. She looks at us all individually for a moment. Her eyes come to me first taking me in and my beautiful pixie mate who sits uncharacteristically still and sombre next to me, then her eyes flicker to Emmett and Rosalie who stand side by side, then onto Peter and Charlotte – the latter sitting on the formers lap, then onto Carlisle and Esme who sit on the love-seat together and finally the briefly rest on Jasper who stands in front of the fire looking utterly devastated. Finally she speaks,
“If I ask a question, will you all answer honestly?” her voice is low and raw from crying and we all rush to assure that we will indeed answer her honestly, Carlisle, waves his hand for quiet
“I assure you Isabella that there will be no secrets from you and we will all answer any questions you have as honestly and openly as we can” He speaks calmly, repeating what we as a family had agreed upon while she was asleep. She nods, seeming to believe us. Then she asks her question.
“Were you all in agreement?” none of us need to ask her to clarify, she wants to know if we all agree with the decision to take her, to fake her death and to keep her here. And as I look at the faces of my family I don't need my gift to know what they are thinking – oh shit. She is going to hate us all individually now as well as collectively and we all know it. Peter seems to decide to be the brave first one and stands up and steps forward. Isabella takes a step backwards and Peter brings his hands up in peace. He waits a second and when she nods, he speaks
I know she will hate me. I can feel it. But my gift also tells me that it is vital that we are all honest with her. She will certainly never forgive us if we lie to her on top of everything else we have already done and so with that in mind, and maintaining eye contact with the beautiful human that is my brothers entire world I speak,
“I would never wish you any harm little bird and I know that we have hurt you deeply with our actions and for that I am so sorry but yes I was in agreement with taking you. You belong with Jasper little bird, you are his mate, his other half and this was the only way we could keep everyone safe and together. Its insane I know but Jasper is my brother, I desperately want to seem him happy and your his mate, he needs you to be at his side and so you had to be with us, nothing could stand in the way of that.” She raises an eyebrow,
“Not even my free will? Not even what I might want?” I don't answer, there is nothing I can say. Finally she nods.
“Thank you for being honest with me Peter. But please never call me little bird or any other nickname ever again. You don't know me and we are not friends or family so please drop the nicknames” She speaks clearly and coldly and it hurts, I have to admit. When I realised that Jasper would find his mate I was hoping she would be my little sister but it seems this may never happen. I tense as I feel Char stand and take my hand,
I feel Peter tense as I stand next to him. I can tell he is worried that I may be angry towards Isabella for her coldness towards him, mates are after all fiercely protective but I’m not. While I wish it wasn't the case I understand her position and can't fault her for it, I squeeze my mates hand reassuringly and feel him relax before I speak,
“I feel the same as Peter, I was in agreement but I hope you can let me get to know you at some point in the future because I would truly love to be friends” she nods at me but the coldness in her eyes doesn't change. Alice and Edward stand next.
I decide quickly what to say and go for it,
“While I worried about the effects I was totally in agreement but am deeply sorry for your pain” she nods and looks at my mate who already looks like she is going to sob and I pray that Isabella isn't harsh with Alice who has been hoping so intensely to be friends with Isabella.
Like Edward, my gift does not appear to work on Isabella, or at least not very well and so I don't know how she will take what I have to say,
“I agreed but I really do think you could be happy with Jasper and with us. Mates love each other so much and you could have such wonderful relationships with us all” she looks at me with such anger I feel my heart ache in sadness,
“Yes but people in wonderful relationships usually choose to be in them Alice – a luxury I have not had” I can't argue a point but I start to grieve the friendship I see slipping away from me. Esme comes to stand next to me her hand on my shoulder as Carlisle speaks next.
“I was in agreement as well and I am sorry for the pain caused to you my dear” She nods to him and her reaction is the same when Emmett simply repeats the statement sadly, having decided after her reaction to me and Peter not to try and convince her that he meant no harm and wants her as his baby sister. Esme however quickly makes the decision to reach out to Isabella and my heart clenches in worry.
I can see the sadness in my family and am desperate to ease it. I look towards Isabella whose anger radiates around her and try to say something, anything that may ease her anger and hatred
“I was in agreement and understand you anger and hatred towards us but would like to beg you to try and see that none us have meant anything maliciously. We truly didn't see any other way out and want nothing more than you happiness” her anger flares wildly in her eyes for a moment but then surprisingly softens, she nods at me and the turns to look at Rosalie, the last member of the family to give her opinion. We all instinctively know that Jasper will not be saying anything because his opinion is obvious, she is his mate.
I step forward much more than the others until I am only three feet away from Isabella and look right at her. Her fear is spiked but she is a brave little thing and maintains my glance. I take an unnecessary breath before I say my piece.
“Before I give my answer Isabella, I need to say something else, is that ok?' I ask, trying to show her that I respect her and what she says, she nods and I continue 'I love my family, I love them fiercely and desperately and so will always, always protect and support them. No matter what. Can you understand that?” I ask
“Yes, of course” she answers surprising everyone by engaging with me
“Good because I need you to know that whilst I will always support my family and help them, always support and help Jasper that does not mean that I necessarily agree with them all the time. In this case I did not agree. I understand the mating call certainly and the need to have you mate with you but as a woman who had her free will taken away from them, as a woman who never wanted this life but who later through finding her mate came to love and accept it, I did not agree with taking you the way we did. I did not agree with faking your death and making dozens of decisions about you and your life without consulting you and I am sorry for that. But I hope you can understand that whilst I didn't and don't agree with what has been done to you I have to support my family and try to help everyone including yourself cope with the situation we are now in.” Everyone around me is silent. They all knew that I did not approve – I said so repeatedly – but none of them expected me to be as open with Isabella as I have been. I can't quite explain but I feel the need to help and befriend her. I know she will not allow any of the others to help her or be close to her – not yet anyway but I am hoping she may let me, at least a little. She looks at me and there is no anger and my relief is immediate,
“Thank you Rosalie, truly and I do understand.” she gives me a small smile and then without looking at anyone else, turns and returns to her bedroom.