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Pain of Mating

Mating isn't always easy. It isn't always simple. Sometimes it is complicated. Sometimes there is hate and anger as well as love and need.


3. Chapter 3

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Authors Note:- Thank you so much to everyone who has left me such lovely reviews! I was so nervous to post a story but everyone's positive response has made me feel so much better! I really value any comments anyone may make. So on with the story!

Authors note – please forgive any spelling, tense, grammar mistakes. I do not yet have a beta.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything from the twilight universe, I'm just playing!!!

Chapter Three: One Step Forward, Ten Steps Back

Jasper POV

After my beautiful mate made her request I quickly went to find Peter and gave him strict instructions not to leave her. I hated the idea of leaving her but desperately wanted to get the chest for her. I had to do this for two reasons. Firstly it was something she wanted and my instinct demanded I provide my mate with anything her heart desires and secondly I wanted to do something, anything that might ease her anger and pain. I was desperate to connect with my mate. My instincts not to mention my demon were screaming at me in agony. Every part of me wanted to be able to be with her. Not just sexually – although by the gods did I want to claim her and make love to her glorious body – but also emotionally and mentally. I need to be able to speak to her, make her smile, hear her laugh and touch her. I want to hold her hand, wrap my arm around her shoulder or waist and keep her by side. Males are always very affectionate with their mates; gentle caresses, a hand always on the leg, a gentle touch of the hair, a kiss on the forehead or to the temple. A male vampire yearned for their mate; they loved and worshipped them true but they also possessed them. Mates belong to each other in the deepest, most basic and primal ways and yet I'm a male vampire who can't really be with his mate. I want her so badly but she just isn't ready. She doesn't even like me and its killing me slowly but surely.

I spend the next 18 hours speeding to Forks where I locate the chest. The foster home she had been staying in had yet to decide what to do with Bella's belongings and they just sitting in her old room. Once the home was empty I broke in and grabbed the chest and on a whim also grabbed a couple of old books, a patch work blanket and a wooden jewellery box and loaded it all into my car and quickly drove back to my mate.

I arrive late. It has just passed four am when I dash up the stairs to Bella's room, ignoring my family. I didn't really know whether what I was doing was a good idea but all I knew was that I had been away from my mate for almost a day and I had to be close to her. I entered her room and inhaled deeply. Her scent saturated me; filling me up and making me feel as if my heart might beat again. I let out a low purr in pleasure as I took in her scent and gazed upon my mate. Alice must have already gotten her some clothes as she is wearing something new. She lies asleep on top of her covers, no blanket covering her. She is lying on her back one arm laying across her stomach, the other stretched above head slightly. Her long legs on for miles and are bare. She is wearing a pair of soft-looking black sleep shorts which fall to her mid-thigh leaving the rest of her gently curving pale legs exposed to my eyes. I want to kneel at the base of the bed and kiss my way up her legs, placing soft kisses, little licks and making gentle nips and bites all along. I want to stroke her smooth calves and let me hands wander up to grip and caress her thighs. I want to be able to sit with her on my lap, hold her close and talk with her as I make patterns on the skin of her legs with my fingertips. I want her to straddle me and let me rest my palms on her thighs and I want to feel those glorious legs wrap around my waist as I pound into her.

A thin sliver of stomach is exposed which I am dying to trace with my tongue before her red cotton cami begins. It hugs her beautifully and the colour against her pale peaches and cream skin makes my already hard cock harden even more. The cami stretches deliciously against her breasts and I can see a hint of her beautiful cleavage; enough to make me desperate to rip the top off her and expose those gorgeous tits to my eyes. From the second I saw her I have loved her breasts. My girl has the most perfect breasts. Not overly large but not tiny either; they will fit perfectly in my hand. I want to hold one in each hand and feel the weight of them. I want to lie with her topless and feel her breasts press against my chest, nipples brushing each other. I want to take as much of a breast into my mouth and gently suckle and lick. I want to tug and kiss and bite at her nipples and cover her breasts with my kisses. I want to trace every millimetre of them with my tongue. I want her to ride me and watch them bounce and I want the freedom to look at them and brush against them whenever I wish to.

Her face though, her beautiful face is what calls to me the most. She looks so peaceful and so content asleep and I cant help but go to her. I know I shouldn't. She hasn't invited me or given any indication that she would want me near her but I cant help myself. I yank my shirt and t-shirt off over my head and let it drop to the floor. I kick off my boots and pull of my socks. Then barefoot and topless I move to her bed and careful not to wake her, I lie down next to her. I turn on my side to see her better. I reach out and stroke her hair gently. I am shocked when she rolls over onto her side to face me and even more shocked when she then pressed her body against me, curling into my side. At this point I am lost. Her heat sears me, her scent calls me and as a smile plays across her face I am overjoyed that she wants me – my presence is calling her, so that she can't help but seek me out in her sleep. She is, for the first time, recognising me as her mate – albeit subconsciously and my happiness floods me. Suddenly she moves her arm and drapes it around my waist, pulling at me slightly. I move as close as I can to her, pressing myself against her and carefully manoeuvre her so that I can wrap my arms around her and slip one of my legs in between hers. I wait a couple of moments to see if she wakes. Instead she sighs and murmurs,

“Jasper” she whispers, I look down and she is still asleep. She is thinking of me in her sleep. I close my eyes and bury my face in her hair. I have never been more at peace than I am right now with my mate wrapped around me.

After an hour or so she move her head slightly and her hair falls back exposing part of her neck. I can't help but move my hand to gently brush the rest of her hair away. I lean down and cautiously press my lips to her neck. She doesn't react and I am so happy to be connecting with her in any way that I begin to leave gentle kiss up and down the column of her throat. I now begin to give little open mouth kisses, touching my tongue to her skin briefly. The taste of her is exquisite. She tastes like home and heaven. I need more. I push against her and digging my other hand into her hair and continue to nip and kiss at her throat. She moans lowly and her hands press against my back and before I register what I am doing I roll her on to her back and roll of top of her. I press my hard cock into her softness and bury my face into her neck, kissing and purring in sheer joy and lust. I use one arm to brace my weight so that I don't crush her and the other remains buried in her hair.

Suddenly there is a sharp gasp and I look up and in her eyes. In her eyes. Her open, conscious eyes. Her hands move to my chest and she is trying to push me away, her legs kicking at me but my brain has shut off, I just want my mate. I want to claim her and be with her. I don't understand what is happening. I take her hands and pin her to the bed and growl at her lightly. Everything freezes as I gaze down at my mate. Tears are running down her face, she is gasping for breath and her emotions are radiating off her; fear, anger, desperation, confusion. Horrified at what I have done to my mate, I throw myself off her and press myself against the far wall. Self-loathing fills me as I watch my beauty curl up into a ball.

My family bursts into the room a second later.

I realise three things.

  1. Minutes ago she had been sleeping peacefully, accepting on some level that I was her mate.

  2. In mere moments I had taken advantage of and terrified my precious mate.

  3. She may never forgive or accept me now.