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What Else Is There?

"I couldn't believe what I had done. A step closer and I would have killed them both. So now I will run and I won't look back. I will race until I can't breathe, until I forget that look I left in Emily's terrified eyes, until I die." After a series of tragedies and mistakes, Sam finds himself fighting to keep the one thing he loves the most. Will his hatred and anger destroy him and those that he loves or will he be able to overcome the past to save his future? This is Sam's POV and set in the beginning of Eclipse after Edward returns but before Victoria's army makes an entrance into Forks. This story is AU and set at a mature level for violence and sexual content. Drama/Romance. EmilyxSam.


2. Changing Air

Rating 0/5   Word Count 2876   Review this Chapter

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Chapter Two: Changing Air

The road leading out of La Push was silent. The laziness of summer had not yet faded and the back roads along the Rez were never very busy anyhow. I gripped the steering wheel until the blood ran out of my knuckles and my hands were completely white. The way to the hospital felt like the distance to another universe, which left me too much time to linger on unwanted thoughts. It was just an appointment. She wasn’t in the ER. I was being dramatic. But why hadn’t she told me before? I told her to not leave the house. And what’s she doing wanting Cullen as her doctor?

I parked illegally outside the hospital and ignored the glares from the nurses chattering outside the main wing as I walked through, and almost into, the motion-sensitive doors. At the desk a young woman was shuffling papers and waving her hands with orders. As I entered she smiled and crossed her hands as she sat down.

“Hi. I’m um…looking for my…wife. She came in to see Dr. Cullen? I’m just a little late but we were meant to see him together,” I lied. “Her name is Emily Young.”

The nurse tabbed through a few papers before opening a manila colored envelope and nodding her head. “Yes, Emily Young? You’re more than just a little late. You better make your way down the left wing immediately if you want to catch that appointment, Mr. Young. Third door on your right.”

The hallway was painted off-white with cutout, colorful fish swarming in between painted kelp and wallpapered coral reefs. The third door on my right was silky blue in color. I considered knocking but my nerves got the best of me and I opened the door with more might then I had intended, throwing the door ajar. Emily was lying on her back on a cushioned table but the sudden slam of the door handle against the wall frightened her into a sitting position. It was clear she had swallowed a scream as she placed her hand over her heart and addressed me with a relieved but annoyed stare.

“ Jesus Christ, Sam,” she breathed. “What the hell are you doing here?”

“What the hell are YOU doing here?” I asked as I walked over to examine her. Besides the look of bewilderment on her face, all seemed in order. She had no cuts or bruises or…fang marks. I lifted her arm and turned her palm over. She gently smacked me away.

“How did you know I was here?” She asked curiously.

“The blonde demon told me.” I muttered.


“You know,” I said as I checked her other arm. “The blonde Cullen Barbie.”

“Oh. Rosalie. You spoke with Rosalie?”

“Not voluntarily.”

She eyed me suspiciously as I took her hand in mine and stroked her fingers. “I told you not to go anywhere.”

“Look, Sam-“

“I thought you were in trouble, Emily. No note. No nothing. We’re not exactly a normal family. Most people don’t have to worry that their fiancé might have been mauled by a vampire-“


“And why did Rosalie know that you were here and I didn’t? Are we now informing the bloodsuckers of our daily endeavors?”

“SAM!” She grabbed my other hand and shook me a bit, a smile running across her face.

“What?” I responded as exhaustion filled my voice and the tense ripples in my shoulders subsided.

“I’m pregnant.”

My mouth opened but no noise came forth. Words bled out of my body as Emily met me with a satisfied grin. Her fingers were still interlocked with mine. My grip had completely melted away but Emily held the weight of my hands in hers.

“You mean…like…a baby?” I asked stupidly.

“No, Sam. I was planning on a dolphin.”

“You’re pregnant,” I repeated to her almost absentmindedly. She took one of my hands and placed it on her slender stomach. Somewhere deep within her body, life had begun to blossom. A life that shared my blood and would forever be a walking piece of my soul outside my body. My child. Mine. Finally, after what seemed like too long to process, I felt a tremor vibrate through my chest and I knew what I felt was joy and excitement.

“You’re pregnant!” I asserted, this time with a smile that matched my grinning fiancé. She brought her hands to my face and I naturally leaned forwards to embrace her soft kiss. Electricity tingled through my skin as I felt Emily’s soft lips on mine. I knew how she felt but the spark she always sent through my body would never seize to excite or amaze me. Her body under my hands was like a drug but this wasn’t the time or place to feed my addiction. It was she that broke the kiss but a smile still shone on her face.

“I took a test at home but…I didn’t want to tell you unless I was absolutely sure. And, I couldn’t wait. I had to know. They said if I rushed over immediately that Dr. Cullen could take me-“

“Cullen?!” I groaned with a disgusted look to match “Aw, Em. You’re not seriously thinking of having him as your doctor for our child, are you?”

“He’s the best, Sam. He is. I know…the history. I get it. But, he’s been doing this for years. Do you know how many babies he’s helped birth?”

“And how many of those do you think he’s eaten?”

“Sam,” she warned. “I don’t expect you to love him. But, he’s been nothing but kind to me. And after this, we don’t need to see him anymore. I just…trust him. He’s experienced, literally more than a hundred years of practice. Where would you find that anywhere else? Sam…please?”

She looked desperately to me and I knew that I couldn’t deny her. I paused in my response, pretending that it took me a moment to decide whether I wanted to give in to her ways.

“Fine. But if he makes one wrong move-“

Emily threw her arms around me and laughed, effectively silencing what was going to be a long threat to Carlisle Cullen’s life. Her warm embrace only softened me further and I was filled with future memories of our life together. For a moment we were silent and the room was still besides the rising and falling of breath that escaped our lips. The silence was interrupted by a knock at the door and the pale face of Carlisle Cullen as he entered the room.

“Ah. Sam Uley,” Carlisle greeted with a smile. “I’m assuming your presence indicates you’ve heard of the coming addition to your family?”

“Yeah,” I responded emotionlessly. I crossed my arms and stood firmly at Emily’s side. Carlisle was head honcho of the fang gang across the border but I did have to admit that he was also the most tolerable. Several times the pack was forced to encounter the Cullens and whenever Carlisle was present conflict between the two species was avoided. That didn’t mean I liked him.

“Well, Ms. Young, you can be on your way whenever you please. I’ll need to see you once or twice a month until your about 28 weeks along,” Carlisle instructed. Emily hopped off the table and Carlisle handed Emily the examine sheet to take up to the hospital front desk.

“Thank you, Dr. Cullen.” Emily said.

“You’re most welcome and please, call me Carlisle. And if there is anything else you need in regards to prenatal care, you know where to find me.” Carlisle responded. I almost rolled my eyes but Emily nudged me in his direction.

“Yeah, thanks,” I heard myself say. Carlisle kept his smile, which of course I found incredibly annoying, and led us out into the corridor. We didn’t make it very far out the door, however, because standing directly outside was Edward Cullen with Bella in tow. He looked rather surprised to see me, as though he hadn’t watched me dart off frantically after Rosalie’s comment in the woods. Bella looked even more surprised.

“Sorry, Carlisle. I didn’t realize you were still on call,” Edward said. Slightly behind Edward, Bella Swan was cradling her right hand with her left. Her fingers were bent and bruised and the side of her hand was swollen twice the size it should have been. Her hair was windblown and a sting of anger gleamed in her deep brown eyes. My fists curled up at my sides as Edward’s attention was brought immediately to me.

“What’d he do to you?” I asked Bella before Edward could land a word on my thoughts. A look of confusion ran across Bella’s face before she realized I was staring at her disfigured hand.

“Oh. No…no, Sam, it’s not what you think…“ Bella stuttered but Edward was swift to interrupt.

“More like what Jacob Black has done,” Edward corrected. “If I can’t assure that Jacob won’t be a threat to Bella on your side of the boundary line then-“

“The only threat to Bella is you,” I snapped. “And Jacob isn’t even here so how is it this is his fault?”

Bella stepped forwards so that she was side by side with Edward. “He is here. He called me early this morning after he got back from Seattle and insisted that I come over,” Bella explained. Jacob Black was in La Push? Damn that boy moved fast.

“Look, it’s not a big deal, okay? Can I just get this fixed?” Bella said as she waved her broken hand at us. Carlisle ushered her away from Edward and into the room Emily and I had just occupied. Edward followed Bella with his eyes but he stood his ground.

“I would appreciate it if you spoke with Jacob,” Edward requested.

“Yeah, I’ll see what I can do,” I said coldly. Edward responded with a hard stare that I knew went straight through my head and into my mind. I hated that he could latch on to my inner most thoughts and as we stood in silence I felt vulnerable in his presence. Though a part of me wanted to ignore Bella’s hand and Edward’s accusations, I was curious about Jacob. But I wasn’t about to sit and exchange details with Edward. Emily tugged gently on my hand and I willingly followed, leaving Edward standing in the hallway as Emily and I made our way to the exit.


By the time I had reached Jacob’s house it was pouring. Within a short span of 45 minutes, clouds had smothered the once blue sky and huge raindrops had begun pummeling the ground. The seat beside me was empty. I had dropped Emily back off at the house where she proceeded to call every known person to humanity and tell them of the news. I sat in Jacob’s driveway and felt a smile creep up the edges of my lips as I thought again of a child that was mine. At the back of my mind I could feel the memories of my own father seep through the happiness that was filling my thoughts. It was a hot night when he walked out the door, nights like the ones that belonged to summer. I’d never forget the look on my mother’s face as she stood in the doorway, the fans from the kitchen blowing hot air out into the open night. And he never came back. He never even turned around to see her face.

I closed my eyes, letting the memories die away like a suffocated flame. Soon all that was left was the rain on my windshield and Jacob Black’s house. I decided the rain wasn’t getting any less wet and made the dash from my SUV to Jacob’s door. Billy had seen me in the driveway and greeted me cheerfully as I made my way inside.

“Congratulations, Sam!” Billy roared happily as he slapped my arm. “So good to know the generations are continuing!” It took me a minute but I realized he was speaking about Emily’s pregnancy. I couldn’t believe she had already called him.

“Thanks. And geez,” I said with a smile. “News travels fast. Yeah, just found out this morning.” Billy looked tired but well. His hair was pulled back with a leather tie and he wore his favorite boots regardless of the fact that he would never again actually walk in them. He looked the same as the day that I came into his house sobbing like a child, confused about what the hell I had become. It was Billy who helped me through my transformation and kept me from sinking in times that I thought were my darkest. But it was Jacob that I was here to see.

“Not to cut our conversation short but is Jake here? I have something I need to talk with him about.” I asked, a more serious tone taking my voice. Billy nodded and directed me to the garage where Jacob was fixing up something or other, as he always was. When I entered the garage my clothes were soaked from the rain and Jacob greeted me with a look that confirmed he knew exactly why I was there.

“Look, Sam, before you even start…I totally didn’t know she was going to take a swing at me.” Jacob blurted out. I had no idea what had happened but the thought of Bella punching Jacob was hilarious.

“Bella’s broken hand is from an attempt at punching you?” I couldn’t help but laugh. Jacob was now aware that I only knew half the story. He filled me with the other half; the half where Jacob’s teenage hormones got the best of him and he forcibly kissed Bella Swan. But I wasn’t concerned with the scandalous mishap part. Bella’s broken hand meant Edward’s discontent and I frowned as Jacob began to badmouth the mind reader and explain their not-so-friendly encounter.

“It would be helpful if you didn’t piss off Edward Cullen. I have enough problems with the fang gang as it is,” I cut in.

“Not my problem that he throws a hissy fit every time Bella comes here. She’s can be here if she wants,” Jacob snapped.

“Maybe she shouldn’t be.”

“That’s what he said too.”

“Well I agree with him.”

Jacob had a look of outrage as he stood. I could feel the anger in his voice escalate to an uncomfortable level. “How you can say that?! When do we ever agree with them?” Jacob asked.

“Look, Jacob. She’s not right for you and she never will be. She’s been nothing but heartbreak-“

“What the hell do you know?” Jacob roared. “I’m so sick of everyone saying that! She’s not right for you, she’s not your imprint, blah blah blah. Who the hell do you think was there for her when she needed someone the most?”

“And where is she now that you need her?” I stated boldly. Jacob felt truth in my words but the anger was now boiling through his body, anger with hearing my words so many times it drove him into insanity. How many times had we had this conversation? How many would it take?

Jacob gritted his teeth as he spoke. “She’s with him and he won’t let her breathe without his say-so. She was MY friend before fucking Cullen came into the picture! And now because of the stupid boundary lines, I can’t even see her without his damn permission!!” Jacob’s tirade ended with him throwing off his shoes and bursting out of the garage on all fours. I could have caught him, stopped him, ordered him back but I let him disappear into the mist and darkness of the woods.

I sat alone in the barn as the rain hammered the roof, seeping in through the windows that weren’t airtight. The air was changing and although the day was still hot I could feel winter’s breath around the corner. I found myself back in my SVU driving along the Reservation road that led to my house. The pavement seemed alive and moving as it glistened with rainwater and smoldered with mist. The woods were black with darkness and as I gazed at the blurs of moving trees I watched the happiness I had felt earlier fade away like the mist on the pavement. The air was changing. Something was coming and I had no idea what it was. But I could feel it moving like ants running over my skin. I’d ignore it for today, drive home and see the woman who held my child in her womb. But it would linger and hover and somehow, in the back of my mind, I knew it would only be a moment before I saw my darkest hour.

To be continued…