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Too Far

Summary:
The events during that summer between Twilight and New Moon... basically a Jacob-free version of Bella and Edward romance, and the problems that ensue without the help of werewolves, vendetta-ridden vampires, or the Volturi. No danger or action, for the most part, just their relationship.


Notes:
Read it and enjoy. Reviews are greatly appreciated!


7. Chapter 7

Rating 5/5   Word Count 2225   Review this Chapter

I breathed a sigh of relief as we walked side by side to the center of the glorious, shining clearing. The rainbows of color and flowers that surrounded us were even more breathtaking than I remembered, and I smiled as the warmth of the sun kissed my face and arms. I chanced a look at Edward as he grinned at the prospect of our day in the sanctuary. If it was at all possible, he looked more beautiful than I had ever seen him, with the backdrop of the sunny flowered landscape. Were the Forks summers always this amazing, I wondered, or was I simply blind before? And then I realized that I wasn't blind before, I had just never had a reason to open my eyes.

I smiled at the reason standing beside me, and suddenly I felt an overwhelming urge to express my complete and utter happiness.

I was whole. I was complete. I could see. Throwing caution to the wind, and completely forgetting about our minor fight over my immortality, I began to spin. With my arms spread wide and my head thrown back to look at the sky, I spun in circles in our glorious meadow. I felt every pore of my being rejoicing in the fact that I was here, with Edward, who loved me just as much as I loved him, and he would never leave me. It was like an epiphany, where suddenly everything in the world makes perfect sense. My hair flew free around me, the wind cooled my face, and I began to feel dizzy with the complete spontaneity and beauty of this moment.

I laughed and returned, breathless, alongside my sparkling, dazzling, reason for existence. He stared back at me, stunned by my outburst. And then, the most wonderful thing happened. Before I even realized it, I was spinning again, but this time he was holding me. His arms wrapped around my body and held me close, and my feet were off the ground. He buried his face in my shoulder and neck and heartily breathed in the scent. He looked up at me with complete joy and I realized that this was going to be a moment I remembered for the rest of my life - Edward, shining bronze hair and glittering skin, swinging me around a beautifully flowered meadow in the middle of the day, the sun shining down on our faces as we laughed in ecstasy.

And suddenly, we stopped. I don't know how long we were spinning, but I didn't care, because immediately my head began to be filled with a new kind of dizziness. Edward's kisses caressed my face and lips, and he brought me back down to set me firmly on the Earth. Although my heart was soaring, my mind was firmly focused on his presence and I kissed him back heartily, trying to portray exactly my emotions at this moment.

"I am amazed at how blessed I am," he spoke between kisses. "Who would have thought that one of the eternally damned could be so eternally happy?" He smiled and brushed my hair from my face, looking into my eyes. I could hardly speak for happiness.

"Edward," I began, but then I realized I didn't know how to put into words what I wanted to tell him. I simply stroked his face, willing him to read my mind as I stared meaningfully into his eyes. He seemed to understand, and I relished in his embrace as he wrapped me in a protective, loving hug.

We stood there for a while, and then the ever-present Forks clouds passed over the sky and momentarily blocked the warm sun. I sighed, wishing the moment could last forever, but he pulled back gently and kissed my nose. I resigned, only because I knew that those extraordinary moments would define my life once I was a vampire with him. He wrapped an arm snugly around my shoulders as we lay down in the grass, our bodies creating dents in the soft ground.

"And you think I dazzle you," Edward teased, kissing my forehead one last time. I snuggled into his chest and prepared myself for the conversation I knew I would bring up soon.

"Let's just call it a mutual dazzling, then. Although, you know... I bet when I'm a vampire, you'll hardly be able to speak in my presence," I teased, knowing he'd catch the meaning behind my words. He sighed.

"Are we talking about this again? I should've known..."

"Oh, come on. You had to see this coming; I've been pestering you all day." I hugged him a bit closer, hoping to distract him.

"Well, yes, I assumed as much. But you were so happy a moment ago. And you know how I feel about this topic. I'd rather we didn't ruin the moment." I winced at his words.

"Edward, this shouldn't ruin the moment. It's not that difficult of a topic... there's only one way for us to be together forever and we both know exactly what that is. Besides, I'm still very happy, and I'm pretty sure nothing you can say will make me feel otherwise."

"Bella, stop. You know I have no intention to make you unhappy, but we have to be realistic here. This is something we don't agree on, and there is bound to be a fight. The one thing I want least in the world, besides to take away your soul, is to fight with you. Be reasonable..." Something about the way he spoke ignited the small bit of anger that I had promised wouldn't show. Was he inferring that I was unreasonable?

"Reasonable? I'm being more than reasonable, Edward," I unintentionally felt my voice rise an octave. "When a normal couple disagrees about something, they discuss it and work it out. They don't just ignore it." I felt him stiffen significantly by my side. His words came out colder than his voice had been before.

"We aren't normal, Bella. That's the point." Then he turned and held my face between his two hands, staring into my eyes. I saw a bit of anger and fear, but mostly love as his eyes pleaded to mine. "Please, Bella...you said you wouldn't get angry. Let's just drop it, okay?" My mind seemed to split into conflicting halves at this point. On the one hand, I wanted to follow his orders and save the topic for another day, but on the other hand, I knew what I wanted. I had to win this argument, regardless of whether or not today was the ‘right time' for this discussion. Would there ever be a right time? No, I knew instinctively. Edward would prefer that we never discussed my change, and unless I convinced him today, or at least put a dent in his shield of denial, I knew all hope would be lost.

"Edward, I can't drop it. This is my future we're talking about. And I'm spending it forever, with you, whether you want me to or not." At this his eyes notably darkened and I knew I had hit a soft point.

"Why do you always question how much I love you? Of course I want to spend forever with you, why do you doubt it?" His hands fell from my face and he pulled himself up to sit so that I couldn't see his face. "I love you way too much to damn you. You won't become a vampire, Bella. I refuse." I felt the fire rise in my stomach and anger flooded my eyes. Why the hell was he being so stubborn? This is getting ridiculous, I fumed. I was surprised at my own anger, but I knew I got it from Charlie. I could almost feel the smarter half of my brain, the one that wanted to stop before things got out of hand, to dissolve as it tried one last time to beg me into cooperation. And then the second half gained control and I no longer cared about upsetting him. Sure, he was a vampire, and in a millisecond he could crush me, but I knew he would never do that. I was only in danger of being hurt by his words, but I chose to face them instead of ignoring my future.

"I can be stubborn, too, Edward." I stood up and crossed my arms, and he stood to do the same, towering over me as his golden eyes now barely shone through their onyx shield. He was just as angry was I was, I noted. Good.

"Do you want me to fall out of a three story window; or die in a car wreck; or be sucked dry by vampires like James? Because I will, Edward... I am a walking danger magnet and unless I become invincible for eternity, you will lose me. It's my soul and I can do with it what I want, and I have made my decision. And you know what? It wasn't a hard decision at all, so why the hell is it so hard for you to accept it? Edward, you have to help me become a vampire. It's the only damned way and I won't stop asking until you do it."

"No."

The word was filled with such finality and fury that I trembled at his voice. "If you want a fight, Bella, then you got one." He turned and started walking back the way we had come, back into the forest. I panicked, running to catch up with his stride.

"Edward. Stop. You're going to hear me out right now." He paused at my voice and turned calmly. His face was set in stone, no emotion showing, and I made a mental note to never make him angry again. The look on his face could make the hardest of criminals beg for mercy.

"You have to help me become a vampire. Listen, I don't care what you think about my soul..." He stopped me short. His voice shook with fury and I prepared myself for a scolding. But I was surprised at what came.

"It's obvious that you don't care, or else you wouldn't be so eager for eternal damnation. That's why I have to care for the both of us, and believe me, I care more than enough. That's why I will never, ever, be responsible for the destruction of your soul. It's too beautiful to waste."

He turned and began to walk, just as calmly, back towards the forest. My heart fluttered at his words, but my stomach churned. He said no. Absolutely, no. And now he was leaving.

Of course he had been saying no all day, but the tone of his voice as he spoke shook my resolve. My stomach fell and I felt the tears coming. I felt my future slipping away, and I tried one last, desperate time, to plead with him. All traces of anger disappeared from my face as I begged him to listen, watching him leave me alone to wallow in the impossibility of my immortal future. The pain began to overwhelm me as I realized what I had done. Not only had I started a fight with Edward, but it had been in vain. I felt weak, as though someone had sucker-punched me in the gut, and I started to hyperventilate. How could I have been so stupid, so stubborn... so human? Why did I so eagerly run to embrace what was so glaringly obvious? Of course he didn't want to change me, I convinced myself. He didn't want me around for eternity, and who would? First I pick a fight with him and then I cry when I don't get my way? The pain of my realization and his words cut me like a knife.

"Edward, help me!" I gasped breathlessly into the forest clearing. The beautiful flowered landscape nestled between the aging forests had become a sanctuary to me over the past months. But now, this clearing was anything but my sanctuary.

"Edward! Please!" I managed one more time, hoping he would finally turn and acknowledge me. He paused momentarily and gently raised a hand with his back turned to me, as if to say "not now". Calmly, at human pace, he placed one leg in front of the other, trying his best to ignore my pleas. What seemed like ages, but what took not nearly enough time, he was gone. I strained my eyes to see into the dense trees at the edge of the clearing.

No. Edward... I clung desperately to the hope that he would run back to my side and ease the growing pain that was throbbing in my chest, my gut, and my lungs. I wiped my eyes frantically, praying that I was simply in a terrible nightmare, but the ache wouldn't stop. He'll come back. Any minute, he'll come back and help me; he'll ease the pain. The pain was killing me. He'll come back. But I knew, unequivocally, that I was alone.