Promise Of A New Moon
She was tired of the nightmares, the ache in her chest for the place that she had only been to in her dreams. She loaded up the last of her belongings into her beat up old 59' Chevy and headed northwest towards what she had come to think of as her destiny. Paul/ OC
I own nothing but my original characters.....
19. Sins of Our Father
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Sins of Our Father
Sam was a happy man. He felt free for the first time in his life really. The weight lifted off of him when his sister had uttered those words to Emily, was so massive. He could breathe again. He could feel again. He had not realized how deep her claws had been in him and for so long. The elders of course were shocked that an imprint could broken. They had talked to Cat about what had happened. She told them all she said and they seemed to get stuck on the word 'abjure' she had used. We all tried to hold in our chuckles at that.
They finally relented on her when she assured them she would not go around 'abjuring' any more imprints. Old fools.
The fact was he did not think she could if she wanted to. His situation had become so dire with his imprint that the spirits had allowed this to take place. He couldn't be sure of course, but he felt that was right.
It made sense that the bond with his sister, which was already stronger than the imprint anyway, was the key to releasing him. He just needed her to do it. And do it she did.
He smiled at the thought of his sister. She was the best thing that had ever come into his life. He hated that they had missed so much time together. They had made a promise to each other, to never be to far away.
He thought back on when he saw her in that clearing. He was insane with rage that someone would do such a thing to her. He barely spared Kim a glance. He felt bad when he thought of that later. He was alpha at least until Jake took over and his concern should be for all of his people. He had talked to his sister about his guilty feelings and she rolled her eyes at him.
" Of course I was your main concern. I am your sister. It's normal Sam, don't beat yourself up about it okay? You are after all part human." she had told him in her hospital room when he had come too see her. He chuckled at her and kissed her forehead. He had felt 100 % better after talking to her. She had a way about her that could bring you from the brink of despair or cut you to the bone. It depended on which side of the fence you were on. He vowed to always be on the side that kept his nuts intact.
When he had made the decision to move back to his house, after of course he had let Emily's stench air out, he had a crying Cat on his hands. She did not want him to go. But she understood why he needed to just get the fuck on with his life. Hell he still had dinner over their every night. Charlie still joined them, but he was found more often than not over at the Clearwater's.
Walking up the front walk to his sister and Paul's house, he heard grunts and moaning. He stopped in his tracks. Unfortunately he knew exactly what the hell was going on behind the massive oak door he now stared at. Shit...they knew he was coming, should he leave? He did not want to see his sister buck assed naked ever again. Living here was pure hell for him at times. He wavered between wanting to beat the shit out of Paul for doing that with his sister and groaning in frustration because he had not gotten any in a long ass time. Let's just say they had a crazy ass sex life and leave it at that.
Deciding to knock, because fuck it...It would keep Paul off of his sister, at least while he was there.
He raised his hand and knocked loudly. He heard some muttered curse words and feet stomping there way to the door.
Paul swung the door open dressed only in a towel that hung around his hips. He had a scowl on his face. Apparently he was not finished, Sam thought to himself with glee.
" Hey Paul, where's my sister?" he asked rocking back on his heels feeling smug as hell.
Paul growled and jerked his head inside the house, then turned leaving the door open for Sam to follow.
Sam' chuckles followed him up the stairs. He loved it...
Heading to the living room he grabbed the remote and sank down onto the plush couch. Turning it on to Sports Center he settled in to wait for Cat to appear.
He heard her flitting down the stairs. He turned is head and watched as she walked towards him with the biggest grin on her face. She was so beautiful.
" Hey peanut, you look good. What has you so happy today?" Sam asked dragging his sister into his lap so he could as she referred to it "nuzzle her". He took a deep breath inhaling her perfect scent and hugged her tightly to him.
" Paul get down here baby." she called up to her mate. He rubbed soothing strokes on her back as he continued to inhale her scent. Her scent calmed him like no other. Leah's ran a close second though. He smiled thinking of his lee-lee. She wanted to take things slow and he understood. He had hurt her deeply with the whole Emily thing and he did not want to pressure her into doing anything until she was ready. Having said that, he had the worst case of blue balls ever. He needed to get laid, badly.
" What's up baby?" Paul asked coming into the room with a pair of jeans on this time. He watched as his most fierce pack member gently kissed his sister on her neck. He was amazed at the change in Paul. His sister had changed him and for the better.
Paul took a seat beside Cat on the sofa. Cat removed herself from his lap, he was about to protest when she turned around and looked at him. You could tell she was excited about something and was busting to tell him. He tamped down his need to pull her back into his lap and cuddle her, for the moment anyway.
" Brother bear, you are going to be an uncle." she blurted out.
What?...did she say...does that mean?
He looked back over to his sister and her mate. Her eyes were shining with happiness and unshed tears. Her grin stretched ear to ear. Looking at Paul he noticed his smug smirk.
" Shit are you serious?" he asked just now feeling the excitement creep in as he digested the information. They both nodded at him excitedly. He pulled his sister into a hug, careful of her stomach.
He pulled back and let his hand rest on her tummy. He had a family. It did not hit him until now. He truly was apart of something that had no supernatural bullshit to it. He had gone through life on his own after his mother had died. His dad never gave two shits about him. Sure he had the tribe and they always made him feel welcome and loved, but he had always felt like he was on the outside looking in.
Now though he was an integral part of something so beautiful and he thanked all the spirits for it.
" I can't believe this. I'm going to be an uncle." he said staring down at her stomach. He put her back on the couch and got down on his knees, placing his ear to her stomach. He heard the light fluttering indicating the life growing inside of his sister. Tears ran from his closed eyes. He had a small smile on is face.
Cat watched her brother listening to the life inside of her and she started crying. Paul wrapped his arms around her, trying in vain to keep the tears from falling from his own eyes. He knew how much this would mean to his alpha. They had been friends along time. One of the things that bound them so tightly together other than the whole wolf thing, was they were always in the same boat. On the outside looking in at the bonds their friends had with their families. Now they both had a true family, brought together by the magnificent creature sandwiched between them.
The three of them just sat like that until they heard a knock on the door indicating that the pack had started to arrive. Paul and Cat had invited them along with Charlie and the elders over for dinner to share their news. They were going to wait until after the sonogram tomorrow but as Paul had said, once he phased, the pup would be out of the bag.
Paul untangled himself from their three way hug and made his way to the door. Opening it he found all the pack standing their chomping at the bit. He knew it had to do with the wonderful smells his mate had coming from the kitchen more than anything.
After they had all come through the door he was about to close it when Charlie arrived with the elders in tow.
" Hey Paul...Thanks for inviting us." Sue said from her place at Charlie's side. Paul noticed their joined hands and smirked at both of them. Charlie's ears started turning red and Sue just giggled.
After everyone had come in he shut the door and headed toward the noise. He noticed Cat and Sam had composed themselves and were now sitting and talking with everyone. He caught Leah's eye and she gave him a wink. He smiled at her and mouthed 'Thank You' she only nodded before going back to her conversation with Billy and Jake.
" Dinner is ready so lets eat.' Cat said as she stood to head in to the kitchen, he followed to help her.
Coming up behind her he wrapped his arms around her, his hands resting on her stomach.
" I love you baby...so much."
She leaned back into his massive chest and closed her eyes. " Mmmmm I love you too bug guy."
They stood their for a moment longer until they heard the guys whining for food.
About mid way through the meal, Cat and Paul exchanged looks. Paul took the lead, grabbing Cat's hand under the table.
" Hey everyone...Cat and I have something to tell you." Looking around making sure he had everyone's attention, he continued. " We are going to have a baby." he said feeling Cat squeeze his hand.
You could hear crickets for a few moments, until everyone started jumping up and talking.
" Oh my god...are you serious?" Kim squealed loudly causing all of those with supernatural ears to wince.
Everyone of the pack came and hugged her then dropped their heads to her belly. By the time dinner was over and they had all settled in the large living room, she had been rubbed, petted and hugged more times than she could count. She snuggled back into Paul and listened as her new found family talked and goofed off. The younger guys had broken out the X box and were now arguing over something.
It was nice how everyone seemed to just be at home. She had never dared to dream that she would ever have something like this. Kissing her man lightly on the lips, she got up and headed towards the kitchen.
Before she got there she heard a knock on the door. Taking a detour, she headed to answer it. She opened it to a man she did not recognize. He was native obviously. He was as tall as Embry and built like Sam. He seemed familiar to her. She felt like she should know who he was.
He stared at her. His eyes roaming all over her face as if to memorize. She noticed tears gathering in his large brown eyes.
" Hello...can I help you?" Cat asked, with a polite smile on her face. He opened his mouth to talk, but before he could she heard a growl from behind her. Her brother's angry voice gritted out.
" What the hell are you doing here?" He asked the man coming to stand partially in front of his sister.
Cat saw the man visibly swallow and look down. " Sam I..." he started but was cut off by her brothers angry words.
" What the hell are you doing here? " he gritted out a little more loudly. By this time the whole pack had filled the entry way. Paul had come up behind her, she felt small tremors running through his body. She was starting to feel a little claustrophobic with all the warm bodies in the small area.. What the hell was going on?
"First off, can every one move back into the living room a bit? I am seriously going to hyperventilate if I cant get some air in here. Second, what the fuck is going on. Sam calm your ass down right now." Cat all but shouted at the group.
The guys fell back onto the living room, but still hovering near the opening. Paul kept his arms firmly wrapped around his mate. Although he did loosen his hold a bit. Sam stood glaring daggers at the stranger, who was looking at both Sam and Cat with fear and longing.
When Sam still had not answered her she asked him again. " Sam who is this? "
He turned to her, still keeping her body partially shielded by his, " This baby sis, is our long lost father." he said in a voice that was anything but pleasant.
Cat gasped as her eyes darted back to the man in front of her. Her earlier feelings of his familiarity came back to her. Of course, Sam had some similar features, such as his straight nose and full lips, but the slant and color of his eyes was a dead give away. She looked at Joshua Uley and saw her brother's eyes staring back at her.
The fact that she associated him with Embry as well, passed through her mind briefly, but she pushed that aside for later.
Cat looked between her brother and father and for the first time in her life she was at a loss. Part of her wanted to invite him in and talk with him. After all she had questions, lots of questions. The part of her that was loyal to her brother wanted to slam the door and walk away from the cluster fuck.
She felt Paul's lips at her temple and she steadied herself, pulling all of the strength she would need from her mate.
" Why don't you come in." she said firmly. Sam pivoted his head towards her in shock.
" What? Your going to invite the bastard in?" he snarled at her. She shrank from the rage she saw in his eyes. Paul pushed her in back of him quickly and faced Sam.
" Don't fucking talk to her like that." he said his chest heaving. She wrapped her arm around his huge bicep and gave him a squeeze. She had to fix this and fast or the shit was about to hit the fan.
" Baby move." she said trying to move him so she could face her brother. He reluctantly allowed her to do so. Keeping her secured to his side, he glared at his alpha.
" Brother Bear, I know you are upset. So am I, but I have questions. A lot of questions. It will be okay. He cant hurt us unless we let him okay? Calm down." she said rubbing his forearm soothingly.
He seemed to come out of whatever mind fuck he had been in. His eyes widened when he noticed Paul's stance and he grabbed his sister, holding her to him.
" Fuck, I'm so sorry peanut. I just ….lost it for a minute. Please forgive me." shame filled his voice for lashing out at his sister. She held him tighter.
" I know okay...you have nothing to be ashamed of. You did not hurt me. Now let him in so we can get this over with okay?" she said pulling away to look in his eyes.
He nodded and moved from in front of the door to let his father pass. He stayed to Cat's left side as Paul took up her right. They had formed a protective stance around her. She rolled her eyes.
" Come on in. We were just finished with dinner. " she said gesturing for Joshua to follow her.
He walked in and looked around at all the faces of their guests. He recognized the elders of course. Billy and Old Quil had been around back then. He scented the air and realized most of them were the La Push pack. His wolf was strangely quiet.
Billy and Old Quil looked at him in shock. They did not think they would ever see him again. He had aged slightly, but not much. He could pass for Sam's brother really. Although Billy wanted to demand some of his own answers, he knew that Catarina and Sam needed to have this time alone.
" We were just heading out. Guys lets go. Catarina, Paul, thanks for a wonderful meal. You take care okay?" he said eyeing her meaningfully. She knew he meant the baby. She smiled and kissed his cheek.
Paul had escorted Joshua to the living room as she saw everyone out. Sam followed in after Paul and his father and sat on one end of the sofa, while Joshua took one of the big chairs.
Paul looked at Sam " I will be right back." he told him pointedly. Sam nodded, knowing he meant for him to be cool until he got back. The last thing Paul needed was a house full of pissed off over sized wolves around his girl.
He walked to the foyer as Cat was shutting the door. He turned her around and looked at her with concern.
" Are you okay little girl? You know you don't have to do this now. He can come back." he said
She sighed. She knew that. But now was as good as time as any. If she waited to confront her father till she was ready, she knew she never would.
" It's okay honey. I need to do this and so does Sam." reaching up to kiss his beautiful lips, she headed into the living room.
She looked between her father and brother and could see them eying each other. One weary and the other angry. Shit. She had to take control of this or else shit would be very bad.
She went and sat by Sam on the couch with Paul following her.
" Catarina, Sam...please forgive me for intruding on your evening. I had to come...I have much I would like to talk with both of you about. If you will give me the chance to." he said earnestly.
Cat studied his face. She could see why her mom had fallen for him. He was very good looking. She knew instinctively that he still phased. He should look older than he did. She looked into his eyes and saw only sincerity and longing there, with a tinge of regret and shame. She made up her mind then and there. She would hear him out and then, well...then they would see.
" What could you possible have to say to me? To her? You fucking left us like we did not mean a damn thing to you. Now you come here when we finally find each other...to what? To ask for forgiveness?" Sam snarled out. He was working himself into a rage. How dare this fucker come here and try to weasel his way into their lives. He would not allow his sister to be hurt by their sperm donor. She had been through enough.
" Sam...stop . We are all going to sit here and talk like adults do. If any of you need to get furry take that shit outside." Cat snapped at her brother. She knew he was upset, but he had to get it together or they would be here all night and she had plans with a certain gray eyed golden Adonis later.
" Joshua, I assume, even though I have never met you, that you know who I am?" Cat asked looking directly into his eyes.
He almost flinched. She looked so much like her mother. His heart was squeezing painfully. God how he missed his beautiful Kai. He closed his eyes a moment and took a deep breath.
" Yes Catarina I know who you are. I have always known who you are. I watched over you and your mother from a far. " he said gently.
Cat was a little taken aback. He had always been around? Where the fuck was he when her mom was being ripped apart? What about after? Did he see all those things that happened to her?
She began to get angry. " You were always there huh? Were you there when the fucking leech raped and tortured her? Did you sit back and watch as he split her in half? Where you there watching as I cried out for help?" she asked tears running down her face. Shit, she did not want to get into this.
She jumped up and started pacing. " All those years in foster care. I was sixteen for fucks sake. Do you have any idea what I would have given for someone ...anyone to come and take me from that hell? Where were you then? Did you watch as they did that shit to me? You left me there to be raped and tortured every night of my life by the men and women who were given the responsibility to take care of me. Did you watch that shit." By this point she was standing in front of Joshua screaming at him. He was openly sobbing now. He had not known. His wolf had forced him off after the police had taken her away. If only he could have been stronger...
When she had mentioned her time on foster care both Sam and Paul had froze. She had not spoken of that time with them. What did she mean rape and torture? Paul was starting to shake with anger. Who were these people? He would kill them all.
" Catarina, I'm so sorry I did not know. I would have gotten you out of there had I known. Please..." he said brokenly. He dropped to his knees in front of her, clasping his hand sin front of him." Please believe me...I would have never left you in that situation. My wolf made me leave after the police took you. I was to weak to fight him." he had grabbed the bottom of her shirt, gripping it tightly. His tear streaked face looking into hers, begging with her to believe him.
" I was there that night. Although I did not get there until to late. I did run him off. I almost had him, but he was so fast and I was so weak, he got away." He had dropped his head and was talking lowly.
Cat stared at the top of his head listening. Paul had calmed himself and had come up behind his mate to offer her comfort. Now was not the time to deal with her foster parents, but he would later ...oh hell ya he would...
Sam sat stoically on the couch listening to every word his father said. If he would have known he had a sister he would have brought her home. Just one more thing he hated his father for. In his mind even if his father had not been able to get her, he had known where Sam was. Why not contact Billy and have him get her out?
" I was never far away from you and your mother. She was my imprint. I could not be too far for to long. I had felt the terror she felt through our bond. I took off as fast as I could. By the time I had gotten there, your mother was already...dead. He had you by your throat and was about to kill you as well. I let him know I was there, he dropped you and I started the chase. But like I said I had been weak, I had made my wolf weak. We couldn't catch him. I watched them take you to the police station. I was coming to get you, to take you out of there. My wolf was scared for me to be around you, his pup. He forced me to leave. He controlled me for the past seven years. It was only recently that he allowed me to have a minuscule of control." he told her. His head bowed deeply. He was such a piece of shit. If he had not abused himself and his body so much over the years, if he had not let his demon take root in him, things could have been so different. He was weak. He was pathetic.
Cat looked down at her father. She felt a stirring of sympathy for him., She did not want to. She wanted to hate him. She wanted to despise him, but she could not ignore the defeated slump of his shoulders. Self loathing rolled off of him in waves. She found herself wanting to reach out to him, to comfort him.
She sat down on the floor in front of him. Paul did the same scooting to where his back hit the couch. He kept one arm around her though. Ready to pull her to him if he needed to.
" Why were you so weak? Why would he not want you around me?" she asked softly.
Joshua raised his head to stare at his daughter. He looked over at his son, whose face he could not read.
" When I was a young man living here on the reservation, I was a little wild. When I was nineteen I had phased and instead of seeing it as a curse as most of my other pack members did, I loved it. The strength, the speed...all of it. I loved it. It was intoxicating to me." he said.
Paul and Sam could understand the high you get from being a wolf. Really, young teenage guys with super human powers, women falling all over them. It was almost as if they were Gods. If they had not had each other to keep their asses in check, some if not all of them would have probably ended up abusing their new found persona.
" Some of my brothers did not like that I was using my "gifts" for my own personal gain. Of course women were a dime a dozen back then. I would party hard and have anyone I wanted at the end of the day. It went to my head. My brothers tried to reign me in, but I was completely seduced by the power that had been bestowed on us by the spirits. I started skipping patrols and pack meetings. Women and booze were the only things I cared about. I was selfish and full of myself. My selfishness came to a head when I missed another one of my patrols and a leech got onto our land and killed a pack brothers mate." he said quietly. Sam and Paul were incensed. In the pack the imprints were considered sacred, to be protected at all cost. Selfish bastard.
" He was inconsolable. My pack shunned me, kicked me out. The only reason I was allowed to stay on the reservation was because Billy Black's dad stood his ground for me with the council. During this time I had started taking drugs. I started out with the small shit at first, but it eventually lead to heroin. It seemed to be the only drug that would effect me longer than just an hour or two. I had come to loathe myself and what I had let happen. My wolf tried to take back control, he did not like the poison I had become to rely on so much. After a while he just quit fighting me. " his fingers were absently running across his arm. Cat watched him as he tried to compose himself so he could continue his story. She had seen what drugs could to do a 'normal' person. It had to be tens times worse for someone with supernatural abilities. She looked over at her brother and saw the hard lines of his face seem to be softening. She wondered what he was thinking. As if sensing her gaze he looked up at her and gave her a small smile.
" I met a woman. She was beautiful. Despite everything I found myself falling in love with her. She had come down from the Makah Reservation to visit some family she had hear. We met and she never went back. She knew of my addiction. She would try to hide my stash and I would become so angry I would tear up the house looking for it. I would spew hateful ugly things at her. She stood strong though, she never wavered in her love for me." he said looking at his son. " I never got physical with her, but I verbally abused her constantly. Deep down inside where I knew I was a piece of shit and she deserved better, but I could not let her go. I loved her so much. She was kind and loving and she always stood by me no matter what. The day we found out she was pregnant, I was so happy. I could not wait to meet my child. " he stopped and looked over to Sam. " I loved you from the moment I first knew about you."
Sam sat there looking at the wall. The only indication that he heard his father was the clenching of his jaw. Joshua sighed and turned back to Cat.
" I still continued to use. But I wanted to stop so badly. I finally broke down and went to Old man Quil. I asked him if he could help me. I obviously could not go to regular treatment programs with my heritage and all. He performed a cleansing ceremony on me. It lasted for days. I went through the withdrawals like any one else. My wolf fought the whole time. I would phase in and out so much, that I could not tell the difference between me, the man and the beast that lived in side of me. My wolf wanted to be set free of the shackles I had placed on him. The human part of my body fought against him so hard. It just wanted to make the pain go away. The wolf wanted me to suffer and he got his wish. I stayed in a state of limbo for eight days. I just wanted to die, but the wolf would not let me." he stopped for a moment and took a deep breath. You could tell reliving this was difficult for him.
" Finally, I came out of it. I felt freer than I had in a long time. I went back home to Sandra and we began to live our lives. Except, it was not that easy. You see I had beaten the wolf down once. I knew how to make him bend to my will. Not many shifters can claim that. The wolf is apart of you yes, but he is also a feral animal. His needs are simple. Kill, Eat and Mate. Anyway after a while I started feeling restless. I loved Sandra and you Sam very much, but something was pulling me in another direction. At first I thought it was the desire to use again and I fought it with everything I had. Sandra and I fought constantly. She had a new purpose that had nothing to do with me really. It was you Sam. She loved you so much and my behavior was no longer easily excused by her. I fooled around all the time and started back to doing drugs. She had enough one day and I came home to my bags packed and her standing at the door with you on her hip. She told me she loved me, but she loved you more and she would not let you be influenced by the bad decisions that I continued to make. She told me if I ever got myself together that I would be allowed back into your life, but not hers. I had killed any scrap of feelings she had for me. I begged and pleaded, not wanting to leave you, she would not relent."
" I knew she was right. I don't know how she put up with my shit for so long anyway. I left La Push that night. I decided to follow the pull that had been plaguing me for a couple of years. All the while I continued to use and whore around. I came upon the Mescalero Reservation. The tightening in my gut had lessened and I knew that I would find whatever had been pulling me there."
Cat tensed and knew this is where he had met her mother. She did not know if she wanted to hear this or not. She knew from her mother that she loved him beyond reason. But that was all she knew of them. Her mother would not talk about him at all.
" I met your mother at a bonfire one night. One look into her eyes and I was gone. She was my imprint. We fell in love much to the disappointment of her father. He had hoped that she would marry his longtime friends son. He did not like me very much and really why would he? He knew what my true nature was , but he also knew of my demons. He was a wise old man. He knew there was no way to deny the imprint even if we had wanted to, which we did not. After a short while we moved in together. We rented a small two bedroom house not far from her family. We were happy. So happy. I had started working with a construction crew there on the reservation and I felt like I finally belonged. I told her about Sam and how I wanted to go to him and bring him to live with us. She was all for it. But I knew Sandra would never let me have him. Even though I had been clean since meeting my mate I knew she would not trust me. Plus, you were all she had Sam. So I sent cards and money when I could. I would send you birthday and Christmas presents." he was interrupted by an angry Sam.
" I never received one thing from you. Not a card, a letter a fuck you." he snarled out.
" Son, you have to believe me, I sent you stuff all the time. I begged your mother to let me come and see you, but she would not have it. She assured me that you were getting everything I had sent." Joshua said desperately wanting his son to believe him.
Sam looked into his eyes and saw only truth there. But why would his mother keep this from him? She had always told him that his father did not give a damn about him. That he had left and never looked back.
" Sam, I never wanted to leave you. But I knew Sandra was right. I was a fuck up of epic proportions. I was not good for you to be around. I was so volatile and even though I never raised a hand to your mother, I was a violent self absorbed person. I had an addiction to heroin that ruled every part of my life. I knew I had to leave. But I did stay in touch with your mother and I did send you letters and cards. I don't know why you would not have gotten them, unless your mother chose to not allow it. She had a hard time with my imprint. Even though she did not love me in that way anymore, she was angry that I seemed to be getting my shit together. I don't know, but I promise you I have always loved you and you were in every thought I had." he said almost begging Sam to believe him.
Cat had started crying without realizing it. Paul held her to him. He was in shock. He had not thought much about Joshua Uley over the years, hell his own father was ten times worse than him, but he and Sam had always felt a kinship because they had grown up with out their fathers. To hear a first hand account of what it had been like for him, battling his wolf, battling himself, was an eye opener.
After all he had he not had the strong hand of Sam there when he phased, he could see how he would have let his new found powers seduce him as well. Who's to say he would not have become addicted to some substance? Hell he was already at that time a heavy drinker. He felt an almost grudging kinship with the man, that had not only abandoned his friend, but also his mate. There was more to Joshua Uley's story than just a womanizing asshole who did not take responsibility for his kids. He looked over at his alpha and saw the struggle he was going through to shed all his previous notions about his father.
" What happened between you and my mom? Why did you leave her to face the shame of being pregnant alone? If she was your imprint how could you leave her?" Cat interrupted his train of thought with her shaky voice.
Joshua grabbed her hands in his. She did not pull away, she just continued to look into her fathers eyes.
" Catarina, I loved your mother beyond anything. When we found out about you I was overjoyed. Your mother knew all about my past with drugs and women and she gave me a clean slate. She told me that my life as far as she was concerned started in that moment with her." Cat was openly crying now. That sounded so much like her mother. Joshua reached up and wiped her tears with his rough thumb.
" I let her down. Her father and I never saw eye to eye. He knew of the imprint. He knew I had to be whatever was best for her. He did not see me as being best for her. He called me to his office one day and basically told me that he wanted me to set her free. That I was no good for her and would only bring her down. I got angry and nearly phased right there. I told him I loved her and I would never leave her. I left telling him to go to hell. I was so angry I went for a run before I decided to go home." he stopped there.
Cat squeezed is hands without realizing it. The cold hearted bastard she had thought was her father all these years, was turning out to be someone entirely different.
" I came home late and she was upset. Her father had told her I had been seen with another woman. I stood there in disbelief. Although I shouldn't have been surprised, he hated me and in his eyes I had ruined his plans for his daughter. She finally believed me after hours of talking. I saw no other woman after her. She was it for me. I never wanted another. Life went on as usual. Her father was pissed that his attempt at separating us had backfired. She now was leary of her father."
" Somehow he had found out about my addiction. It was the night before I was to marry your mother. She had plans with her sisters and friends and I had plans with some of the men from work. We were just going to head to the bar and have some drinks and go home. I had no desire to party anymore. All I could think about was after tomorrow I could call your mother my wife." he stopped and rubbed his hands over his face.
" I fucked up so bad. I could not refuse. The wolf was clawing into my skull trying to get me to walk away, but I had learned to control him years ago. My human self wanted it so bad. I could not resist." he sobbed out.
Cat and the guys tensed waiting on him to finish, even though they had a good idea where this was going.
" One of the guys had brought some dope along. I tried so hard Cat...please believe me I did." he whispered out brokenly. Her heart broke. She believed him.
" I used for the first time in two years. It was euphoria. I had never felt so much pleasure. I don't remember a lot after that. I woke up the next morning in a strange bed with some strange woman wrapped around me. I bolted up and tried to get out of their. But her father had this all planned, right down to the last letter. As I was trying to untangle myself from the woman, your mother opened the door and I froze. I saw her father behind her with a knowing smile on his face. Your mother was devastated. There was no amount of pleading or begging that she would listen too. She sent me away. But I did not go far. I couldn't. I was there when she found out about you and I was there when she told her father to go to hell after he had tried to get her to marry the family friend. I was also there when her father disowned her and called her a slut banishing her from the reservation. There was nothing I could do. I came to her in my wolf form. She sent me away. She always knew I was there, but she would not let me back in. I knew she loved me as I loved her, but she just could not forgive me for giving in to the demon again. I did not blame her. Her father may have orchestrated the situation, but I chose to use again. No one is to blame for that but me. I wanted to die when she did. The wolf would not let me though. He finally took over complete control. He punished me for years. He would not let me be in my human form. He ran me for miles and miles only stopping to eat and sleep occasionally. I did not care at that point, my whole reason for living was gone and the pain in my heart would not be quenched." his head fell forward as he sobbed.
Cat reached for his head and pulled him to her. She was sobbing herself. All for one mistake on his part, all of their lives had been altered dramatically. Even Sam's. The anger she had for him dissolved in those moments as she held her father to her as he cried out his pain and anguish. How could she still hold on to it? He was a man after all. A human that happened to share his body with a supernatural creature. He deserved her forgiveness. He had suffered enough. She was done with anger and resentment. She wanted to know him and she wanted him to know her.
She looked over to her brother and saw the tears running from his eyes. She reached a hand out to him and he did not hesitate to come to her. They all three sat there crying, Sam and Joshua holding onto her as if she might disappear.
Paul heaved a huge sigh. His own eyes were stinging from the tears that threatened to fall. He rubbed soothing circles as he watched his mate try to comfort her father and her brother. He knew she would forgive him. It was who she was. He loved her for having such an open and giving heart. He only hoped Sam would let his walls down as well. Him still being there was a start. He could have just left, but he stayed. Which let Paul know that underneath all the hurt and anger, the little boy from so long ago was desperately wanting to have his father in his life.
It was time to let go of all the bullshit and just live and love.
Okay guys...This was really hard to write. I hope I did it justice. Let me know what y'all think. Thanks for all your reviews and support. Next chapter will be up soon...
- Fire Deep Inside
- What The Hell Am I Doing?
- Reality Check
- Wolves, Imprints, Bonfires & Bitches Oh My! Pt 1
- Wolves, Imprints, Bonfires & Bitches Oh My! Pt 2
- Aftermath & Confrontations
- It's Finally Settled!
- Lust, Sharing & Caring
- Feels Like Home
- Pack Decisons
- The Cullen Crypt
- Meeting Strangers & Bye Bye Bella...for now
- You Smell My What?
- Ding Dong The Witch Is Dead!
- Rolling Right Along
- Sins of Our Father
- Babies and Good Friends
- Poor Mr. Brooks
1 2 3 4 5
- 15 Jan 12
- 15 Jan 12
- In Progress