Searching For Fiction
What if Bella woke up to her room in Pheonix? What if all of Forks was a dream? No more Edward, No more Cullens, No more Forks high. Want to find out? Read my story. A story of girl (Bella) searching for her love, Edward that no one seems to know. Is he just make-believe? A fairy tale once upon a time? Is he Fiction? find out.
1. Last Words
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“I don’t - ,” His voice wavered as his eyes stayed trained on my shoes, “I don’t love you anymore.” Right as he said these words my heart fell to the cold, wet, leaf covered ground and disappeared. My eyes started searching his face for any trace of regret in his choice of words. Nothing. His stony expression remained emotionless as his topaz eyes darted towards my pained face and quickly returned to my muddy shoes. His hair was as auburn as ever and it blew in the wind, faintly, making him look like a true god, just like that day, in the meadow.
It all reminded me of the worst day of my life, which just happens to be exactly one year ago, … today. He had said these same heartbreaking words that day and left me in the woods. Unfortunately, Sam and his pack had found me before I died in the exact place, Edward had left me, huddled in a ball, crying from the excruciatingly painful deployment of my heart. I now wished that Sam had left me to rot to death. It would have been much more painless. Edward had promised me that that was all just a huge mistake after he had come back. He thought he was helping me when he left. I guess not, so what would make this time any different? Is he trying to keep me safe or does he truly not love me?
I looked up at him and started speaking fluently, “Edward, What about last - ”
Edward cut me off in mid-sentence and began talking, “- Bella, don’t make this harder for me than it already is.” He spoke these words slowly, as if trying to make me understand all of this nonsense. His eyes still trained on my shoes. My pulse started pulsing through me faster and faster increasing my heart rate at dangerous speeds.
“What?! Harder for you? You’re the one whose leaving me! AGAIN! Do you even know how much I’ve given up for you? When we told Charlie we were getting married, he went crazy and kicked me out! Where am I going to live now? Oh, and did you remember you gave your existence to me? You proposed to ME! You committed the rest of your life to me. What happened there? You promised this would never happen again! Do you even care about my well-being?” I stopped. Tears were filling to the brim of my lower lashes. I tilted my head back to keep the tears from falling. I quickly wiped the tears away and stared at him. He still wouldn’t look at me. I looked away quickly as he peeked up at me and then returned to his normal state, staring at my shoes.
“Bella, Charlie will take you back in. I already went to him and said the wedding wasn’t going to happen. He was thrilled and doesn‘t know about this, right now. I’m sorry Bella, but we can’t live like this. All I can say is that you’re human. I¾ I am a monster. Always will be, Bella. I AM NOT TURNING YOU INTO A MONSTER. You understand? I won’t let you live like this and I’m through with… dealing with this.” Edward turned his face from my view. He was no longer staring, constantly like a statue, at my shoes. He finally turned his back from me and stood there not moving a muscle.
“EDWARD ANTHONY MASEN CULLEN,” I screamed so loudly the trees actually shook and it made Edward actually jump from surprise. He still didn’t look at me so I began to talk, “You look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t love me at all, nor have you ever loved me. Tell me it was all a big lie and that you are willing to leave me here with Jacob Black again. Because, guess what? He actually loves me. You know that, right? He’ll take advantage of the fact that you left me again. Jacob will be there for me, seeing as you supposedly don’t love me. After a few months of grieving over you, Jacob’s warm embrace will be comforting, so comforting that I’ll end up going to him for everything and he’ll sit there, holding me, and listen to me as I pour my broken heart out. Guess what happens next, Edward? I’ll end up falling for him! Only because I won’t remember what it felt like to actually love someone truthfully. Someone who I really trusted with my heart because then, I’ll remember that one day, on a whim, that someone just decides to rip my heart out. Guess who that someone is? You,” My breathing got heavier as my voice grew stronger, even scaring me. Edward started turning towards me slowly as I continued, “You know what? Jacob was right from the beginning. I should’ve never trusted you when you came back. He knew this would happen. He knew it, Edward, Jacob knew. I should’ve listened to him. You are a just a … bloodsucker. You never even had a heart to give me in the first place so why was I so foolish to trust you with mine.”
As those last two sentences were out of my mouth I regretted it. That was NOT something, Bella Swan would say, especially to Edward Cullen! My anger had taken over me. How could I say something like that to Edward? The love of my life? The only one who cared for me? I knew I had hit some kind of weakness in Edward, that I had never known he had because he did something so out of character. He turned around to stare at me with a horror stricken face. He started backing up to get away, but he didn’t notice the tree log behind him and he fell over it. He should’ve noticed it. Edward was still the most gracefully person I’ve known. How could this have happened? He actually started to whimper and the look on his face scared me to death.
I walked over to him and was so shocked that I had said those things. My whole body was shaking. He just sat there over the log that he had fallen over and didn’t move. His whimpers grew louder into growls. I tried to apologize, “Edward, I didn’t mean that. Edward, I’m so sorry! Please, forgive me. It just slipped out. Please! Please, Edward I love you. I mean it! Oh no, what have I done?”
Edward stood up wobbling all over and shaking uncontrollably. “No need for apologies. I now know what your thoughts truly are and I only wish I would’ve been able to hear your true thoughts earlier and save me this embarrassment. Isabella, I’m sorry I was a waste of your time. I never wanted to do this to hurt you believe me . But seeing as you would be happier with Jacob Black, I will be a civilized monster and be on my way without another word.” His words pierced the spot where my heart was and left a bigger whole. The worst feeling crashed over me and I fell down and let the tears stream down my face.
The very last words out of his mouth were, “I love you Bella Swan-Cullen, and always will.”