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The Family We choose

Summary:
Edward leaves the Cullen's at Carlisle's insistence when he is considering reverting back to his old life. This sets off a chain of events where Edward gets into fights, meets new vamps and fights of the advances of the Denali girls. Who are the unexpected visitors to the Cullen house?How does Edward know Bella? All vampire. vampire battles. betrayals, a kidnapping, and plenty of plot twists.


Notes:
A/N Hey hope you enjoy my first chapter. I’m excited to hear what you think of it. It’s a long one with lots of twists, so bear with me. I will update once a week on a Thursday, maybe more if the inspiration takes me and you guys are liking it. Thanks, much love Gemma xxx Disclaimer: I of course do not own any of twilight. Nor do I make any money from it. The credit all goes to Ms Meyer. Just playing around with her characters.


2. Making jasper nervous

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I arrived back at the house to be greeted with shouting and angry thoughts. It appeared that Emmett had done something to upset Rosalie. In all honesty, it really didn’t take much to piss her off, she was very highly strung. Even more so than me and that was saying something. She liked to have things her own way and if she didn’t get that, then she would take offense. Resulting in arguments like this one. Just as I walked through the door, she flew at me;

“I hope your happy Assward! You’re ruining my life!” with this she spun on her heel and stormed off. This time even I was at a loss as to what I had done wrong, to her at least.

“Anyone care to tell me what my crime was this time?” I said to no one in particular. Emmett opened his mouth then closed it again. It was my father, Carlisle who spoke up first.

“Rosalie needs to realise that there are other people in this family besides her, and that she will not get her own way through tantrums. Not anymore. She isn’t a child; so, it is about time she stopped behaving like one.” He didn’t even attempt to lower his voice. He wanted Rosalie to hear this; which was unusual. Normally we tiptoed around her. She was not going to like this.

Carlisle was for all intents and purposes, my father. He was tall like me and my brothers and he was of medium build but in no way imposing. He had short straight blonde hair and a masculine look about him, often earning him appreciative glances from the nurses at the hospital, but he wasn’t an arrogant man. He was the epitome of compassion and tolerance. He was everything I could never be.

I on the other hand was lanky in my height. Lean but with it thankfully I was toned, not scrawny. My bronze hair was in a constant state of disarray from running my hands through it whenever I felt tense or ill-tempered, which was a near constant occurrence lately. I knew I was attractive to the opposite sex from the thoughts of the women around me. Something I often used to my advantage if I needed to charm a teacher or some other such professional for mine or my family’s sake. This was not just human women either. The female vampires from Denali; especially Tanya, had made that clear. Her propositions were relentless. Her and her sisters were all exceptionally beautiful but they knew it. They just weren’t my type, although to suggest I had a type was laughable. I had yet to meet a woman who attracted me in that way. When I looked at them, I saw a female but not a woman. Not in the true sense of the word. I seemed to be immune to their charms. Of course, getting to my age without so much as a single romantic encounter left me open to interrogation and ridicule from my brothers, especially Emmett.

In recent years he had taken to finding new ways of quizzing me on the topic; my personal favourite being his ‘art exhibitions’. For which he would draw crude drawings of male and female genitalia and then ask me to judge my favourite, which naturally he then gifted to me. He of course took my choice as an indicator of my sexuality. He could create the ‘isEdward gay?’ game in almost any situation and with any object. I would never tell him but it was quite a gift how he could see penises and hoo-ha’s in anything and everything. Speaking of which, my brother; the genius had something to say.

“Rosie wanted to take a trip.” I could see the argument being replayed in his mind. “She is upset because I told her now isn’t a good time.” Another scene flickered in his thoughts and he abruptly tried to hide it with football scores. I caught it anyway. The reason he didn’t want to go away with Rosalie: Me. He was worried about me. I felt like an ass.

“Don’t worry about it man. Listen I’m firin’ up the Xbox with Jazz later if you fancy it. Blow up some zombie fuckers?” He’d probably be ‘firing up’ that Xbox all night long. Because he knew as well as I did that Rosalie most likely wouldn’t let him into their room tonight. Speaking of which, I was surprised he hadn’t ran after her, he usually pandered to her every whim. She was likely just as shocked as me. Emmett looked so forlorn; defeated.

“Sure man” I tried to smile but I’m pretty sure it was a grimace. Emmett’s face lit up. Cue the dimples.

“Really? Fuckin’ A” he looked genuinely excited. I guess I haven’t been around much lately. I need to make an effort again.

“Edward, nice to see you son.” Carlisle saw me all the time but I know he meant it in relation to my conversation with Emmett. I nodded. “Emmett why don’t you come hunting with me, it’s almost dark now. You and I need to have a talk son.” Emmett agreed happily. I could see in Carlisle’s thoughts he wanted to talk about Rosalie’s attitude and Emmett’s part in enabling it to continue.

When Carlisle changed Rosalie, he had found her beaten in the street. He had thought he was helping her: until she woke up. She was screaming and blamed Carlisle for cursing her with this life. She has blamed him ever since; resented him. In some ways she has used his guilt to get her own way for the past seven decades. Apparently Carlisle has had enough. I honestly didn’t see it coming. Rosalie resents me and Alice as well. Alice, because she has no memory of her time as a human and so has no concept of what she has lost. Therefore she is thrilled with this life. As far as she is concerned, she has gained a family and a husband. She is accepted here. She is happy. Rosalie is not. Even though she loves Emmett, she would give him up in a second for the chance to become human again. She wouldn’t look back and he knows it, although it’s never acknowledged. And as for me, when Carlisle changed Rosalie he expected her to be to me what Esme was to him. But I saw no appeal in Rosalie, only flaws. I accepted and loved her as a sister, nothing more. This destroyed her. Not because she felt any differently about me, because there was no appeal in me for her either. Rather, because I was the first man in her life to have ever refused her. All she had was her beauty; her parents had even encouraged her to use it to increase the family’s social standing. Her beauty was her gift. It defined her and yet it meant nothing to me; this bred resentment between us.

I think part of it was also because Alice and I both had gifts in this life and Rosalie didn’t. So in her eyes, she was ordinary in comparison to Alice and I. something which she wasn’t used to.

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Emmett and Carlisle headed out and I could hear angry thoughts and theatrical stomping upstairs. Emmett didn’t even call to Rosalie before he left. Apparently he was pissed at her too. I was just about to speak with Jasper when Alice bounded through the door, followed closely by my mother, Esme. Esme was without a doubt the sweetest of our kind that I had ever encountered. She was mid height between Alice and Rosalie. She was slim but curvy; soft in a motherly kind of way, but still slight in build. I adored her. She radiated love for her family and I truly saw her as my mother.

They were both laden down with shopping bags, obviously fresh from the mall. I went and retrieved them freeing up their arms. Alice bounded over to Jasper and Esme rolled her eyes at me and stroked my cheek lovingly.

“Such a gentleman, you’re going to make some young lady very happy one day” she cooed. I had to remind myself she wasn’t pushing or teasing; just hoping. She wanted me to be happy that’s all. I smiled at her and took her bags into the lounge.

We were quite lucky with our house. Esme designed it herself. The entire north side was made of glass; giving us an uninterrupted view of the forest surrounding our vast grounds. Each couple, and I had our own bedroom with mine being on the third floor in an attempt to give me some privacy. In addition to a few spare rooms in case we have any visitors. This was kind of unnecessary seeing as a vampire never sleeps and there is no way in hell a human would want to spend the night with us, but it made Esme happy. We also each had an adjoining bathroom, and I, Jasper and Carlisle each had our own respective study. Esme had her craft room and Emmett had a games room in the cellar. Rosalie and Alice also had a room upstairs that they used for dress making or jewellery design or some shit like that. Finally, Carlisle, ever one to bring his work home, had his own ‘medical room’ upstairs although to be honest it was more like a mini hospital. Then we had the little luxuries such as a hot tub and heated swimming pool. Yeah we were spoilt brats. We knew this.

With Esme and Alice fussing over their latest purchases, Jasper and I were left alone and I was glad because I needed to talk to him about my recent revelation about the draw of human blood. Jasper filled the role of the oldest brother in many ways. He made you feel like you could approach him with anything and he would have sound advice; like an oracle. Emmett on the other hand, would crack jokes: mainly, because he couldn’t cope with tension. He would eventually give you decent advice but you would always pay for it in ridicule afterward.

“Hey Ed, want a game of chess?” Jasper looked at me expectantly. I decided to let the hated nickname slide.

“Sure man” it would give me chance to talk to him anyway. I started to speak as jasper set up the match.

“Listen jazz, I wanted to talk to you.” He smiled reassuringly; encouraging me to continue. I saw in his thoughts that he could feel my nervousness: damn empath. I could also see that he misinterpreted this and thought I wanted to talk about sex: Idiot.

“It isn’t about sex jasper.” the relief was evident in his mind.

“Oh thank Christ! That shit’s awkward at any age.” His response made me smile. In fact I kind of wanted the chat now just to embarrass him but I knew better. It was impossible to truly embarrass jasper. Bloody empath just throws the shame out at everybody else. So I decided against it

“What is it then Edward?” he was looking at me expectantly now. So I continued hesitantly.

“It’s about your past, and my bloodlust.” His face dropped with this. I went on to tell him about how I was struggling with becoming overwhelmed with my gift. He reacted well to this so I talked about the mother and daughter in the woods and the thirst that I have had ever since. I went on to tell him about my theory that you could never truly abstain and that the thirst for human blood always draws you back in. To say he looked shocked was an understatement. He looked terrified.

“Say something jazz.” He was worrying me now.

“CARLISLE!” he had apparently forgotten that Carlisle was out with Emmett. He jumped up, knocking the chess set over as he did so, scattering the pieces across the floor. And surprised his self with the action judging by the strangled squeak he made as he did so. He looked anxious with his hands wedged defensively into his jeans pockets. “Erm…I’m probably not the best person to ask about this Edward” he said, looking panicked.

“I am not asking you to go on a kill with me jasper, I just wanted to talk about your time with Maria.” I couldn’t stop looking at him, he looked scared shitless. I had never seen him like this. “Ok, jasper?” he nodded and tried to smile but just looked odd, definitely uncomfortable. His eyes were darting around as if looking for someone to rescue him.

Maria was the vampire responsible for Jasper’s transformation. She was recruiting an army of new-born vampires and used Jasper to train them and in turn, when they had served their purpose it was Jasper’s responsibility to ‘dispose’ of them. His empathic ability made this torture for jasper as he could feel everything they felt as he killed them. So eventually he absconded from Maria. The same problem occurred when jasper hunted humans, much the same as I could hear their final thoughts, jasper felt what his victims felt as they died. This takes an emotional toll on anybody eventually. I was hoping talking to jasper would give me some clarity. Remind me why I came back to Carlisle after my rebellion all those years ago. Remind me of the reasons why I committed myself to a vegetarian lifestyle with my family; to feed only on the blood of animals.

“What did you err… wa-ant to know?” his voice cracked when he spoke and it was uncharacteristic of him. This unnerved me.

“Well what made you leave Maria?” I started and he visibly calmed.

“Well, I couldn’t do it anymore. She had me killing hundreds of new-borns a year. All that wasted life. It wasn’t right Edward. It was as painful for me as it was for them. I wanted more from this life, so I left. That’s all there is to it.” He looked more confident now.

“Do you ever regret it? Miss it?” I was getting bolder with my questioning

“No. well uh...” he hesitated. “No, not really.” He looked pained by this. His thoughts told me that he did sometimes miss it but he felt like he would be betraying Alice if he was to say this.

“I sometimes miss the authority I held, and the sense of belonging I had with Maria. But she didn’t love me; she didn’t even care for me. Not really, she just used me. It was all a ruse. Nothing in comparison to what I have now” adoring thoughts of Alice drifted through his thoughts as I steeled myself to ask about the one thing at the forefront of my mind.

“What about giving up human blood?” if it was possible for the colour to drain from a vampires face, I am sure jasper would have visibly paled.

“Wh-what about it?” he stammered, avoiding my gaze. I could see his worry in his thoughts; he was scared to say the wrong thing and encourage me into feeding from humans again.

“What made you change to animal blood?” he looked ashamed and his thoughts showed this shame. I was about to find out why.

“Alice. Alice was the reason. She wanted to join this family and this was the only way I could be with her. I loved her instantly Edward. I would have done anything for her. I still will.” He thought he should have more justification that that. That love was a fickle reason to make such a drastic change to his life. He mistook my look of surprise as me being judgemental and his tone had changed and he was standing when he spoke again. “When you find love you will understand. Until then you cant. Not really. I don’t regret it though. I wouldn’t change a thing.” I could tell that he meant this.

“Why are you really asking me this Edward? What are you planning?”

“I wouldn’t say I’m planning anything. Just trying to figure out what I am doing here. What use am I? Is it all worth it for me really?” I expected him to launch into a speech about the value of a human life like Carlisle would have done. But he was not Carlisle and for that I was grateful.

“Only you can answer that Edward. You want me to tell you it’s wrong to kill? Why? You know that already. You can only really succeed in doing something if you want it bad enough. If your heart is not in it you will undoubtedly fail. Just know that you do have a use here Edward. You are so important to all of us. We love you, brother.” I saw the sincerity in his eyes as he said this, and noticed the way he emphasised his last word. With this he slapped me on the shoulder and left the room without another word.

I had to agree with what he had said. I had to really want this life to live it this way; and right now I wasn’t sure that I did.