Crazy Minds & Silly Stupid Love
Heart-warming, yet comical love story between two Forks High School students; Edward & Bella. She doesn't want to let him in, and he just can't keep his inexplicable feelings for her at bay, but an unexpected truth threatens to tear them apart. AH, AU. (Has adult rating because of strong language and sensuality in later chapters.) Preview: "Yes, because I can't see myself being with anyone else, but then with you," He sighed, closing his eyes for a moment. "It's like a movie in my head, and I want it. I want it more than anything else, and I want it with you."
8. Not Over You
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Those words caused the hairs on the back of neck to stand, goosebumps broke out on my skin. An ache crept in my chest that was completely foreign to me, an ache that I didn't have the words to describe. I never felt it before. The look in Edward's eyes as he spoke those words was not something to be taken lightly. It was not a game to him. I could almost see something was changing not only in Edward, but something was definitely changing. I was afraid, terrified even of what that might mean.
I couldn't sleep that night, those words were the only thing keeping me awake. I tried countless times to push them out of my head. Edward's voice whispering in my ear and the look he gave me before he caressed my cheek with the back of his hand, and left me sitting on my front porch unable to move. I could hardly breathe. I tried not to think of what would happen tomorrow. I tried not to think about the possibility of Edward pretending it never happened. What if he changed his mind? I considered briefly that maybe something had happened since I saw him last on Saturday night that caused him to act irrationally. Some part of me kept disagreeing with everything I've conjured up in my mind to make up an excuse as to why Edward had said something like that to me.
Maybe it was a dream . . . My mind lamented lamely. If that was a dream, then I had an outstanding imagination. I don't remember falling asleep, but somehow I did and woke up to my alarm blaring loudly. I slammed my fist on the damn thing hoping it would turn off; it did. I was not looking forward to today.
I sat in my truck parked in Forks High School parking lot suddenly realizing I did not think of, nor say one smart ass comment to anyone yet. That was unusual, considering the second I wake up I always have some smart ass comment floating around in my head waiting to be let out. Today I had none, I can take a wild guess as to why that might be, but told myself not to start overthinking it again.
I ducked in my seat when the silver volvo I dreaded seeing today pulled into a parking spot a few rows in front of me. I mumbled profanities under my breath as I watched Edward step out of his car with Alice along side him. Please don't look over here. Please don't look over here. He didn't see my noticeably red truck parked as he drove right past me. The Bella on my left shoulder laughed at me humorlessly, all the while telling me to humor her. I ignored her instead.
I bit my lip when Edward turned to glance around the parking lot. His eyes immediately coming to a hault when he spotted my truck. I felt like my stomach was tearing itself apart from the inside out as I waited for Edward to look away or anywhere but right at me.
He finally looked away, but only to look down at his feet and look back up at my truck for split second before turning away. I sighed in relief thankful he didn't come over. Maybe he didn't see me sitting here.
That's hard to believe even coming from you. Devil Bella rolled her eyes pettily.
I went from class to class being ever so cautious as to not bump into Edward in the halls. Let alone have to look at him. I made a mental note to make sure I ditch Biology today. It was unavoidable if Edward is going to be there.
Lunch was the worst because it was difficult to avoid someone when that someone is in the same room as you. Although there were a dozen or so students between my lunch table and his.I was sitting with Angela, Ben, Mike, Eric, and Tyler. I hoped being lodged between all of them I'd be able to blend in with Edward not being able to pick me out from everyone. But I was dead wrong. As soon as I noticed him looking directly at me from across the cafeteria, I got the odd feeling he spotted me the second I walked in the room.
I watched as Edward pulled out his phone and began typing something right in the open. I furrowed my eyes in confusion. Phones can not be used during school, and students were definitely not allowed to have them out in the open. So, why the hell did he have his phone out? My eyes widened when I felt my phone buzzing in my pocket. No! It can't be. I glanced back at Edward as I pulled my phone out to see he had his phone at his ear, staring right at me. Shit.
"Hello?" I said cautiously.
"You've been avoiding me all day, Bella, but then everytime I look at you, you're looking at me," He paused momentarily.
"So, which is it, Bella?" His voice was quiet through the phone.
"I don't know what you are talking about." I lied through my teeth. I should have known better by now when it came to him, but it didn't stop the lies coming from my mouth none the less.
"You know exactly what I'm talking about." His voice was harsh and almost cold. He must've of realized I didn't have anything to say to that or I just wasn't going to admit anything.
"Oh and Bella?" Edward's voice changed now. It sounded more playful and teasing like we used to be. What?
"Don't make me chase after you and drag you straight to biology myself." He said darkly before ending the call and giving me a lingering stare. How in the love of all that is holy did he know I was planning on ditching biology? Am I really that obvious to him or am I just an open book? My phone buzzed again in my pocket. I flipped it open warily. Edward sent me a text. Dear god, now what?
You are both.
My eyes jumped over to where he was sitting in an instant. He was staring at me with a smirk on his face. I texted him back quickly. Hiding my phone under the table.
What can you read my mind now?
I sent the message quickly and looked back at him. Edward raised his eyebrows at me; telling me he had recieved my message. My phone vibrated again a mere second later. His reply was "No." I looked up from my phone to see Angela staring at me with the strangest expression.
"I don't want to pry, Bella, but what's up with you and Edward today?"
"Nothing. Why?" I tried to shrug it off like there wasn't anything wrong.
"I'm not stupid, Bella. And clearly neither is Edward." She said giving that all knowing look.
"There's just been a bit of tension lately. That's all." I sighed running my hand through my hair. Angela bit her lip with a slight smile on her face.
"I think I have a pretty good idea of why that might be." She chuckled.
"I'm all ears over here cause I don't have a clue." I retorted. I was irritated. Can you blame me?
"Well, tell me what's going on first. You never did call me this weekend to tell me how it went with him." She smiled encouragingly. I rolled my eyes at her. Angela Weber was one of the quiet ones who you never seen coming, but at the same time she liked hearing all about the gossip and rumors that fly through this school faster than you have the chance to say "Hello." So, I told her mostly everything. Okay, and maybe I left out some of the more gory details like what happened last night.
"I get it, Bella." She said finally.
"What do you get?" I was so delved in my conversation with her, I almost forgot the fact that Edward was still sitting a few tables away from mine.
"You've been avoiding him all day. He's worried," She told me seriously.
"I saw him call you right in the middle of lunch, Bella. Not twenty minutes ago. How do you not see it?" I just stared at her willing her to continue. I was getting the feeling everybody is beginning to think I"m a complete idiot. Maybe they are right.
"If he didn't care, he wouldn't be looking over here every thirty seconds to look at you." Angela stared at me willing me to turn and look at Edward. I was a stone in my seat because I knew if I turned around he would be looking at me.
"Okay, okay. I get it." I gave up. I covered my face in my hands. I saw where this was going and I realized what everyone has been trying to tell me ever since Alice was the first one to say it to my face. I was as blind as a bat. Or I just didn't want to see what was standing right in front of me.
"Good. I'll see you in class then. Bye Bella." Angela stood up quickly and waving as she rushed away.
"What the hell?" I mumbled and then my breath caught in my chest. SON OF A-
"Hi." Edward said quietly as I turned around to face him.
"I thought you knew I was avoiding you today." I said bitterly. I was in a sour mood now and it was not because the cafeteria food tasted like trash on the side of the curb.
"I told you I wasn't going to let you ditch biology. Did I not?" He replied narrowing those forest green eyes at me.
"How did you know I was going to ditch anyway?" I demanded glaring right back at him. He was actually smiling now. His eyes crinkled and I think I stopped breathing for a second.
"It's usually very difficult for me to get a read on you, but then there are those few times when you are actually very easy for me to read." His eyes were almost dancing as he looked at me.
"And that bothers you when you can't?" I guessed, grabbing my backpack.
"Terribly so." He teased. Why does he keep doing that?
"Would you stop that already." Did I say that out loud?
"What did I do?" Edward stared at me confused.
"Dazzling me like that. It's getting on my nerves." I raised my eyebrows at him, like he didn't know he was doing it. Edward stared at me incredulously.
"I dazzle you?" He asked, sounding oddly surprised and hopeful?
"More often than I care to admit." I muttered unable to look at his face as we walked into the Biology room.
"Are you still avoiding me?" Edward wondered as soon as we sat down.
"I was still avoiding you during lunch," I said looking over at him.
"But then you called me." I stared at him pointedly. I was expecting him to smile or tease me, but he didn't.
"And you answered." He told me staring right back. He caught that one didn't he, Bella? And you thought you got away with it. A sub walked in right at that moment causing me to look away from him.
"Mr. Banner is out ill for today."She told us without actually looking at the class.
"So, we will be watching a documentary from animal planet." She said, grabbing the movie from Mr. Banner's desk and putting it in the VCR. I was grateful this lady was only a sub for today because she seemed like the type of teacher many students had nightmares about and wet their beds in their sleep. She quickly shut off the lights and sat at Mr. Banner's desk without another word to us for the rest of class.
I tensed as soon as the lights flickered off, acutely aware of Edward sitting right beside me. I took a glance at him to see him tensing in his seat as well. This was not going to be fun. Edward's fist were clenched on the desk now. My arms were crossed tightly around my stomach.
"I think you were better off ditching, Bella." Edward whispered to me quietly after a moment.
"Do not try and blame me for this. You're the one who made sure that I came to class today." I growled at him. Where was all this tension coming from? It literally appeared out of thin air.
"I know." He muttered. That was all we said to each other through the rest of class. The tension became almost unbearable by the time the sub decided to stop the movie and turn the damn lights back on. The tension suddenly disappearing just as fast as it came.
"Worst movie ever." I shook my head in mock disappointment.
"Really? Because I couldn't tell you what it was even about." Edward said finally looking at me.
"I couldn't either. I just assumed since the entire class fell asleep." I almost laughed in my bitter demise. Everyone else fell asleep while I was stuck wide awake unable to focus on anything but Edward sitting in the stool next to me.
"I was too distracted by something else to fall asleep." He murmured as we walked out of class together.
"You weren't the only one." I replied icily.
"Aren't you supposed to be going to gym?" Edward murmured when he realized we took a wrong turn.
"No, actually Carlisle wanted to talk to me about my therapy sessions or whatever."
"Oh. I'll see you later then." He smiled before turning back the other way. I didn't even get the chance to wave goodbye. What was his rush? Edward didn't care about getting to class on time. He was a Cullen, they get away with everything.
I waited in Carlisle's office lazily flipping through old magazines. Some of these people magazines were from like two years ago.
"Isabella Swan?" A woman called.
"Yes?" I jumped up in my seat.
"Dr. Cullen will see you now." She told me.
"Thank you." I said quickly as I rushed into his office. Carlisle sat facing the wall looking through a file. Which was probably my file.
"Carlisle?" I asked. Yeah, we were on first name terms these days.
"Oh, I was expecting you." Carlisle turned smiling gently.
"So, uhm, what did you want to see me about?" I asked curiously.
"Have a seat, Bella." He said gesturing to a chair.
"You haven't been coming to your sessions lately I see." Carlisle murmured, raising an eyebrow at me.
"Yeah, sorry about that." I said quietly ducking my head.
"Bella, I don't know how to say this, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. You are not crazy, you aren't suffering from any post traumatic stress disorders of any kind,"
"That I know of." Carlisle narrowed his eyes at me jokingly. I chuckled.
"You don't need this is what I am trying to tell you. Like every teenager when you have a problem of any kind or you just want somebody to talk to. You go to a councelor, or Charlie for example, but this is not what you need, Bella." Carlisle told me sincerely.
"I think I kind alreadly realized that. That's why I haven't been coming." I shrugged. Carlisle nodded.
"If you ever need to talk, Bella, I am here. If you really need to." He assured me.
"I understand. Thanks Carlisle. Is that all then?"
"Yes, that is all." He smiled, furrowing his eyebrows momentarily.
"So, how are things with you and Edward?" He wondered trying to sound casual. I pursed my lips and almost rolled my eyes. How did I not see that coming?
"Edward seems to be concerned about you." Carlisle raised his eyebrows.
"Oh." Now I felt guilty for some unknown reason.
"I know this might be hard to believe, Bella, but he is there for you. If you gave him the chance." He said honestly.
"I know. I just . . . I'm . . . ," I hesitated not knowing what to say.
"You're not ready." He finished. I smiled slightly.
"Something like that." Carlisle smiled nodding his head.
"Well, I know things have been a bit complicated between you two, but I know my son and he misses you." I stiffened. He misses me? Wait, are we still talking about the same Edward or are talking about someone else? Edward misses me, but he saw me today. How could he still miss me? Would you for one minute stop playing dumb, Bella? You know exactly what he meant by that.
"Oh, uhm, I'll talk to him or something. I gotta go. Nice seeing you again." I smiled quickly and hurried out of his office. That is not what Carlisle meant and you know it.
It seemed I couldn't escape Edward no matter where I went. I couldn't even escape him at my own damn home. Seeing as when I went to pull in my driveway he was there. Does the world or fate or whatever you want to call it really expect me to give in to whatever this is that easily? Because if that is the case, the world is more delusional than I thought.
"Why am I not surprised to see you standing on my doorstep? Again." I told him. He smiled slightly, stepping toward me.
"Did you really think the first time was going to be the last?" He wondered.
"Well, I hoped." I sighed.
"Well, you should stop hoping while you can." He said standing right in front of me now. I could barely breath.
"Do you always have to be so close to me?" I demanded. Ever since he made his little confession of infatuation he always stands so close to me, when we are sitting in biology, or when he is walking me to class. It's weird. His eyes narrowed lips pursed as he pondered what to say to that.
"Yes." He answered simply.
"You are annoyingly stubborn. Oh, and did I forget to mention incredibly pushy?" I glared at him.
"I'm pretty sure you have told me before, in other words, but yes." He grinned devilishly.
"You are indestructible." I murmured shaking my head.
"If that is so easy for you to believe why do you keep fighting me?" He asked a hint of desperation in his tone.
"Because I can't ever seem to get rid of you. You're always there. I can't get one minute to think without you being there to disagree with me."
"Is that all?" He asked sounding bored. My mouth fell and my eyes widened at his lack of response to what I was feeling.
"Are kidding me right now, Edward?" I yelled in his face. I was fuming at this point, I wanted to kill him. I wanted to beat the living shit out of him. While another part of me just wanted to give up and run into his arms and forget about whatever the hell I'm still doing pushing him away.
"What now, Bella?" He demanded still standing too close for comfort.
"You don't give a damn how I feel, but then when it comes to what you are feeling you act like the world is going to end." My voice rose at the end.
"Do not tell me what I do and do not feel, Bella. And just for you information, sweetheart, if I didn't give a damn about how you feel I would be kissing you right now." The term of endearment caught me a little off guard, but what he said after that had me reeling.
"What?" My voice cracked. Edward chuckled bitterly.
"You heard me, Bella."
"You wouldn't." I knew he wouldn't. He couldn't, could he?
"What if I did?" He shot back as he closed the small space between us. I shook my head again. He doesn't really want this; he couldn't. Why would he?
"You wouldn't, Edward." I repeated myself. My brain was not functioning correctly. He was too close to me. How could I?
"Why not?" He demanded. He bowed his head down closer to mine. His eyebrows knit together determined.
"Because I'm just," I sighed looking away from him to look at my feet.
"You're just what, Bella?" He asked again.
"I'm just me. Plain, boring, Bella Swan. I couldn't compete with anyone who wanted you."I shrugged looking at his scorching green eyes again.
"Name one." Edward murmured. A tight smile on his lips as he lightly pressed his forehead against mine.
"Tanya. Or . . . Jessica, and Lauren. And I'm pretty sure Angela wouldn't mind getting her hands on you either." I muttered pathetically.
"Is that all?" He asked yet again. A smile still on his lips. He knew he was winning. I was not going to let him win that easily, how could I?
"No. There's plenty of reasons why we shouldn't be . . . together." I hesitated at 'together,' it sounded odd coming from me.
"So, that's what you've been doing? Weighing the pros and cons of us being together," Edward chuckled shaking his head slightly.
"Why am I not surprised?" He laughed.
"Bella Swan, you are completely and utterly absurd. That being just one of the things I love about you." My breathing hitched at his honesty. Who was he, and what was he trying to do to me?
"There's more?" I guessed. Edward looked away trying not to smile.
"Possibly." He grinned looking back at my face. He was gambling. He is a mad man, he has to be. Why else would he be playing so hard?
"Like what?" I said persuasively. He smirked for a moment.
"Your blush, but that is an obvious one. I've pointed it out to you too many times to count. Your eyes. They drew me in the day I met you." He said almost shyly.
"That's all? Those are just physical features, Edward." Edward let out a long breath with a snort. Then, his expression became serious as he looked at me.
"You don't care what other people think about you. You don't let people screw around with your feelings or try to put you down, and you stand up for what you think is right. When you feel the need to say something, or to voice what your opinion is on something you don't hold back and that-that's incredible, Bella." I stared at him in awe. It was all I could do. I never realized how much he did actually pay attention. It always seemed like he was paying more attention than most people, but I was never too sure because Edward is always so observant.
"That isn't going to stop some . . . beautiful woman two years from now from coming after you and I wouldn't stand a chance fighting for you against whoever she may be. I would lose. Everytime, Edward." He stared at me skeptically.
"You are way too biased. You don't see yourself clearly." He brushed his hand against my cheek with sad eyes.
"You are the one being biased, Edward." I sighed, pittying myself more than usual. Edward rolled his eyes slowly shaking his head.
"Just stop talking, Bella." He pleaded.
"Why should I?" I was being childish and unreasonably stubborn.
"Because if you don't stop talking I can't do this-" And then his lips were on mine.
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