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Bleeding Hearts

Summary:
When Bella jumps of the cliff in New Moon - After Edward left her - How will he react when Rosalie tells him he killed her? (or did he?) What will he do? Where will he go? Who will he turn to? Most imprtantly, what will he turn into? ps. If anybody knows how to put up a banner, please tell me xx Will be split into parts, Edward/Bella POV.


Notes:
Read & Review xx


3. Chapter 3 - Secrets that Can't be Told

Rating 0/5   Word Count 1995   Review this Chapter

“Edward, there’s someone at the door for you…” Esme brought me back from my imagination as I wrote a new piece of music.

“Coming!” I called as I dashed through the crowd of my family all gathering to see who it was. My un-beating heart shattered when I saw Charlie Swan and Renee Dwyer standing on the doorstep. Charlie had a handful of letters In his hand.

“We came to give you something. Something… important…” He glared at me and made me feel so small…

“Please, come in.” My father invited. Charlie shook his head.

“I’m sorry, we have things to do. We found these on Bella’s computer. There is emails that were sent to you, Alice. There was also a couple of letters to each of you. I haven’t read them, nobody has, apart from Bella. She wrote them not long after you… left…” He reached forward to Carlisle with the letters, placed them in his hands and turned to leave.

We all sat around the large dining room table as Carlisle handed us each a letter, I was surprised that there was one for me… Why would she write to me? I unfolded the piece of crumpled paper.

Dear Edward,

It feels like there is a huge black hole in my heart. I love you although you may not love me. It’s been 3 months since you left. 3 months I’ve spent waiting for you to walk through the canteen doors, 3 months I’ve been sitting alone in biology, 3 months I’ve been sitting alone in our meadow…If the reason you left was because of what happened with Jasper, then I wish you could just have forgotten it ever happened, I didn’t get killed that night, nor was I seriously injured. If the reason you left was because of me, then I’m sorry. If I got to close or it was getting to hard for you to be near me, you should have told me. I would have understood, tried to help, do anything you want… Just not live without you. I don’t know if you miss me, but I know how much I miss you. Everyday I long for you to just appear at my house, or at school one day, because I just can’t live without you. I’ve tried so hard to do what you asked, and get on with my life, but the thing is; I can’t. I have never loved anybody the way I love you, before. When I first met you, I knew you were different. The pale colour of your skin, your golden eyes and your bronze hair all gave it away. You always said I was a danger magnet, and you were right; but I never did, and I never will care. That night you left, I tried to follow you… Sam Uley found me in the woods, Charlie had sent out a search party. After that I started hanging out with Jacob Black more… but it was never the same. Every night I still dream of you, but now there not good dreams, there nightmares. I wake up in the middle of the night, sweating, shivering and missing you. I welcome the nightmares now, it helps me remember you, it reminds me that I still love you. I still don’t understand, after all the times you said you loved me… then you left and said you didn’t? I found where you hid the photos and CD… you didn’t hide them very well. I listen to the CD every night… I imagine your sat in the rocking chair humming my lullaby. I still remember the first time you played it for me…Do you remember the day we first went to our meadow? You just laid back and enjoyed the sun…That was the day you showed me how fast you can run…And how your skin is like diamonds in the sunlight… I can still never get that image out of my head… I imagine it every night… The way your held my hand… Held me close… kissed me…

I will never forget you. Thank you for everything you ever did for me. If you were to come back, I don’t know what I would do… I would forgive you of course, but whether or not I could trust you again, I do not know. I don’t know if you will ever read this, but if you do, I want you to know that I love and forgive you with all my heart. You were my life, my soul and heart, and you still are, and always will be.

Yours Truly

Isabella Marie Swan

xxx

I breathed in deeply as I slowly re-folded the paper. I would keep it close to me for as long I exist. I was curious to see what she had wrote to my family, I read their letter through their minds one by one.

My lovely sister Alice,

I’ve tried writing emails to you but your email address doesn’t work anymore. I don’t know why you left with him, I guess it was because he said it would be like you never existed. I wish I could talk to you. I miss you so much. Even though I used to hate it when you made me play Barbie doll, I wish that I could be your Barbie doll now. I wish that you would come back, I want to see your face, hear your voice…I want to thank you for helping keep me safe from James, and whatever else Edward got you to do for me… I don’t know if I will ever see or speak to you again, but if I don’t, I want you to know that you will always be my sister, no matter what happens between us. I want you to know I will never forget you, you will always be in my heart.

Yours Truly

Isabella Marie Swan

xxx

The letter was short, but spoke all of Bella’s feelings. Jasper was sitting next to Alice, so I read his next.

Major Jasper,

Before I say anything else, I want you to know I don’t blame you for what happened on my birthday. It wasn’t your fault so don’t blame yourself. It was my fault, I should have been more careful. You didn’t kill me and I wasn’t seriously injured, so I want you to do what I did, and forget about it, okay? I really enjoyed that birthday, even after what happened. Do you know why? Because I was with you and your family… We never really got to know each other very well, I would have liked to, but I never wanted to push you… I want you to make sure that Edward doesn’t ever feel that whatever happens to me, that it was his fault, can you do that for me? Alice always spoke about you… How wonderful you are, so brave and strong… I thank you for when you helped keep me safe from James, I will always think of you as my brother for that. I’m not sure if I we will ever meet again, but if we do, we have to hang out more.

Your Truly

Isabella Marie Swan

xxx

She had always tried to understand why Jasper never got to close. I never knew if she had, but now I know she did. Emmett was sat next to Japer.

My Brother Emmett,

You were my brother, best friend and joker…Whenever I was upset, you were always there to cheer me up, being and idiot (basically being Emmett!). I wish we could have hung out more before you left, but I wish you hadn’t left in the first place. I want you to come back, no matter what he said to get you to go. You were always there for me, the one that was always trying to make me fit in with you all. I though you of all people wouldn’t ever leave, but I was wrong. I wish I could know why you left, I feel empty without you and your family. I never got to thank you properly for my birthday present, so, thank you. Thank you for everything you ever did for me. We may meet again one day, and I will never turn you away. I hope you do come back, I’m lonely without all of you. I will always think of you as my brother. I miss you.

Yours Truly

Isabella Marie Swan

xxx

Emmett very rarely would cry if he could. He rarely ever got upset, but now he looked so sad… lonely… but hatred to… He leaned over and out his head on Rosalie’s shoulder as she read her letter.

Rosalie,

We may not have gotten on well, but I still think of you as my sister. I never really understood why you hated me, until Edward told me why. If there was anything I could have done, so that we could have been friends, I would have. I want to thank you for my birthday party, I had lots of fun. I wish, that if we ever meet again, that we can be friends. Please look after your family for me, especially Edward. Even though we never really spoke or hung out, I still miss you, and I always will.

Yours Truly

Isabella Marie Swan

xxx

It was then I realised that they hadn’t really ever spoke. Bella had asked about her a few times, likewise with Rosalie, but they actually spoke to each other. Esme was sat holding hands with Carlisle as she read her letter.

My Dear Mother Esme,

I always thought of you as my Mom, and I always will. I want to thank you for always being so accepting. You always welcomed me into your home and accepted that I was human, not like your family. I miss you. I miss you so much it hurts. I want you to come back, no, I need you to come back, I need you to stop the pain. I will never forget you, and I will always love you, forever and ever.

Yours Truly

Isabella Marie Swan

xxx

Esme got up and left the room, taking her letter with her. Carlisle couldn’t decide whether or not to go after her, he knew she wanted to be alone, but he didn’t want her to feel he wasn’t there for her. In the end he decided to stay seated, he opened his letter and began reading it.

Carlisle,

I know that Edward will be reading everyone’s letters through their minds, but I need to tell you something important. Please could you read this when he isn’t around, and don’t ever think about what I’m going to tell you.

With that, Carlisle folded his letter and asked to be excused. He stood and left the room. I followed him, we were half way to the front door when I reached forward and took hold of his arm.

“Edward, please, I need to go somewhere.” He protested sternly but calmly.

“Let me see the letter, Carlisle. I have to know what she said.” I growled. He sighed and shook his head.

“She was right, you were listening… But you aren’t getting to read mine, Edward. If she doesn’t want you to know, then you shan’t, now please, let go of my arm.” I slowly released my arm as it feel by my side. Carlisle turned and left.

I slowly retreated back into the dining room. Alice was sat with Jasper crying dry tears into his chest, he kept cringing ever second because of everybody’s pain. Esme was sat leaning on the table with her head in her hands. Rosalie was sat emotionless on Emmett’s knee as they both sobbed. I slowly went over and put my arm around my Mother. She pulled away from me and then left the room. I knew that nobody wanted me here, so I slowly treaded back to my room.