No matter what I do I will always go back to him and he will always let me. Because I am a boomerang, and I always return to sender. A story of Edward and Bella's tumultuous relationship.
1. Going Nowhere Slow
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Going Nowhere Slow
I don’t bother to turn on the light as we stumble into my small apartment, already into a heavy make out session. My light sweatshirt hits the floor before the door even closes. My back hits the wall and I giggle, breaking away from the kiss as I pull my shirt over my head. His mouth finds its way to my neck and I bite my lip and pull on his hair as he works his magic. Ben, he may have a boring name but nothing else about him is boring.
I met him at the bar. No, I’m not drunk, just had a little to drink. I promised Jasper I’d behave. And I have been…trying at least. I’m sure he wouldn’t consider going to a bar every night behaving, but for what I’m used to, it’s pretty fucking tame. I don’t exactly have friends out here. I always start out in the bar like a true alcoholic, drinking by myself, but by the end of the night I’ve settled into a table of people and found a guy for the night. You can’t expect me to be perfect. You can’t expect me to change after years of fucking up everything. Especially since I hate it here so much.
Fucking New York. All the way across the fucking country. Jasper said that I needed to change my entire life. And I’m trying. He called me all the time the first week, constantly checking in to make sure I was doing okay. I guess I blew my chances at trust a long time ago. But for the past three weeks, I haven’t had longer than a minute conversation with him. I’m getting the impression that he doesn’t want to talk to me anymore. Maybe that’s why he forced me out here. He didn’t want to deal with me anymore. No one back at home does. What am I talking about? This is my home now.
I push all thoughts of the old me and my old life to the back of my head and I attach my lips to Ben’s again. Walking forward as I grip the bottom of his shirt and pull, sending buttons flying. Walking and making out are not easy to do simultaneously, we nearly trip over the coffee table in the center of the room and send something glass shattering to the floor. Not like I have anything of value anyway. I giggle some more as my bra falls. I push Ben on to my couch and straddle him, nipping at his neck as I unbuckled his belt, his hands resting on my hips. I slipped my warm hand into his pants and his head rolled back as he let out a low moan, my fingers wrapping around him. And of course I can’t just simply enjoy the moment…my phone has to ring.
I pull away from Ben and glare at my phone. "Don’t," he gasps, grabbing my face in his hands and kissing me once more. He makes a very good point.
I ignore it for the first thirty seconds but then it just gets on my nerves. I groan and pull away again, he sighs in defeat and slams his head against the back of the couch. "Sorry," I sigh, running my fingers through my hair, trying to catch my breath. "It could be something important." I try to reason. But what would be important? No one ever calls any more. I pick up the phone, answering with an unenthusiastic hello.
"Izzy." The small voice of my 14-year-old neighbor answers.
"Jake," I groan again and search for my clock. "You are aware that it’s almost 3 am?" I sigh as I watch Ben stick out his bottom lip in the sexiest pout I have ever seen.
"Yeah," he answers. "But you never go to sleep before 3 and I just heard you break something."
Ben asks who it is and I just put up my index finger. "Shouldn’t you be sleeping? It’s a school night." Ben raises an eyebrow and I flick his toned abs.
"Can’t sleep," he signs. Ben licks and nips at my neck and I want nothing more than to hang up and let him continue but part of my transformation is to be considerate of people other than myself. "Can’t you hear them fighting again?"
Despite my surging libido, I stop Ben and hold the phone away from my ear and I hear the shouts from the adjacent apartment. "I guess I wasn’t paying attention."
"You’re that into the new project?" He laughs and I force myself to laugh too, slapping Ben’s hand from the zipper of my jeans.
"I guess you could say that."
"Mind if I spend the night?" My face falls into a pout. Entertaining a child is the last thing that I feel like doing. In fact, the only thing that I do feel like doing is Ben.
"I…" But I can’t say no without having a reason. I know this kid, he is relentless. But I don’t feel like admitting what my reasons are. So it’s time to start pulling shit out of my ass. "Well, the place is such a mess and…"
"No offence, but your place is always a mess." Damn it! The kids got me there. "I like talking to you and…I’m just sick of hearing them fight all the time." A compliment and he plays the pity card!
I roll my eyes and try to find a good excuse but stop myself. I’m not supposed to be selfish anymore. I sigh in defeat. "Give me five minutes." I hang up and give Ben a sympathetic smile.
"I’m not proud of what I’m about to admit, but I think I can do it in under five minutes."
I fall forward and laugh into his chest. "As tempting as that is, and believe me, it is really tempting. I’m sorry." He nods with a sigh as I get off of his lap. He buckles his pants as I pick up a tank top from the floor and put it on. He picks up his now buttonless shirt and starts to the door. "Sorry," I say again, following him and giving him a kiss. "How about we meet at the bar again tomorrow and finish this?" I smile and kiss him again. But I don’t mean it. Tomorrow will be a new bar and a new boy. He nods and walks out the door and towards the stairwell just as Jacob walks out.
"Who’s that?" he asks.
"A pupil. He wanted to broaden his artistic abilities."
Jacob raises his eyebrow. "At 3 am?"
"Some people share my eccentric sleeping patterns. What did your parents say when you left?" I quickly change the subject.
"Nothing." He shrugs. "They don’t really care."
"Don’t they find it at least a little odd that you spend so much of your time with an adult woman?"
"Like I said, they don’t really care. And no offence, but you’re really not an adult. I mean the numbers say you are and all but…"
"I know," I sigh. "You don’t need to list the reasons why, I think it’s pretty clear." I sigh and step back, letting him walk into my apartment, trying to suppress the glare I want to use on him. He’s really a good kid. And the only friend I have out here. He reminds me of who I could have been at that age. "Get to bed," I say, pushing him towards the couch.
"Not tired," he says, shaking his head as he reclines comfortably on my couch.
"I don’t frequently do this, but I’m trying to be a good influence! Work with me here!" I shout, stomping my foot.
"Sometimes I just wish they would get a divorce already," he sighs, looking to the floor.
I sit beside him and wrap my arm around him. "Every couple fights."
"Did your parents fight?"
I copy him and look to the floor. Not even kind of a subject I want to talk about. Parental issues are off limits. "Me and my ex boyfriend did." I shrug.
"Well, that’s why he’s your ex boyfriend." He scoffs, sitting back and looking at the ceiling as his hand fall to his sides. He makes a face then turns to me holding my bra in his left hand.
I grab it from him and throw it down the hallway behind me. "I was going to do laundry tomorrow."
"You just did laundry." He raises an eyebrow.
"Well, I have more."
"You do know that your shirt’s on backwards and inside out, right?" Jacob smirks.
"Damn it!" I curse, looking down at myself. So much for attempting to be a good role model.
"I’m 14, not 4." He laughs.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get some sleep, kid," I say standing up and messing up his hair. "You’ve got school." He looks up at me, bottom lip sticking out. "No." I shake my head. "I’m supposed to be setting a good example and all that bullshhhhh- You’re going."
"Come on!" He throws himself against my couch. "They’re still fighting, I can hear them and I’m not going to be able to sleep. School starts in less than five hours. And it’s Friday, not like we do anything anyway."
I make a disbelieving face and he nods. "Not fair. I used to have tests every Friday." He continues with the puppy dog look until I fold. "Fine. I’ll call you off tomorrow. But don’t make a habit of this and don’t tell your parents. They hate me enough as is."
"They hate everyone." He shrugs.
"That’s where you’re supposed to say, no, they don’t hate you."
"I thought you told me not to lie." He smirks.
I roll my eyes and laugh, pulling out my pack of cigarettes and lighting one. Jacob copies my actions. "Hey!" I shout, taking his cigarette from him. "I’m not contributing to the delinquency of minors."
"Fine." He shrugs, reaching into his back pocket and pulling out his own pack.
"You’re not even in high school yet." I’m such a hypocrite.
"Three more months. I bet you started smoking before high school."
I stop and think, but that really wasn’t necessary, of course I was smoking before high school. "Remember how it works? Do as I say, not as I do. I make the mistakes, you learn from them." I pause just in time to hear something shatter. I look to Jacob who puts his head down. Poor kid. His parents are always fighting like this. "Party time," I announce as I stand.
"Beer?" He questions hopefully.
"Maybe later. And by later I mean 7 years. I’ll get the munchies, you put on some music."
I pick up a candle, grab the box of graham crackers, a few chocolate bars and the bag of marshmallows, a fork and set them on my coffee table, finally noticing the broken picture frame. A picture of me and my father on my eighth birthday. I take it back, I do have things of value. I clean up the glass, cutting my finger. I watch the crimson blood form on my finger. I fall into a stupor and watch the small river slowly form and run down my hand. I hate blood.
"You’ve got a lot of CDs," Jacob says, pulling me back to reality.
I shake my head and suck at the blood. "Yeah." I nod, picking up the rest of the glass pieces and throwing them out. "I’ve got a lot of connections. I get a lot for free. Some people send them to me hoping for an ‘in’ in the business. I keep them all. I like the variety," I explain as I quickly bandage my finger and sit beside Jacob. He pulls out a CD and I grab it before he can even read it. "Not that one." I shake my head. He opens his mouth but I continue. "There are a lot of memories attached to most of these. Some I just don’t want to remember."
He leaves it at that, noticing that I really don’t want to continue. He pulls out another CD and I can’t hold back my laughter. "Good or bad memory?"
"Neither really. I met them." He stares at me, looking for an explanation. "One of them. The one that sings."
"Yeah. Such a pretentious and very horny asshole. I was told he was having a bad day but bad days don’t make you pretentious, they make you…what?" I stop when I notice him still staring at me.
"Pretentious is a big word."
"Oh my god! It’s more than five letters!" I roll my eyes and put out my cigarette. "You need a dictionary." I mess up his hair again. "Just pick a CD." I crawl back to the table and light the candle. I stick my marshmallow on the fork and stick it in the candle flame. Indoor s’mores. I take my flaming marshmallow out of the fire just as the first notes of music plays.
The sound instantly pulls me in and I am forced to do nothing but pay attention, at least until Jacob starts screaming. "Your carpets on fire!" I forgot about my marshmallow and now its a sticky burning mess on my carpet. I grab a pillow and beat out the fire. I sigh and fall forward into the pillow. "Fucking figures." My voice is muffled by the pillow.
"Just move the table over. No one will ever see it." Jacob shrugs, munching on his s’more.
"No." I shake my head. "I don’t care about the fucking carpet. It looked like shit anyway."
"Is it about the CD? Because I figured I’d pick one you didn’t want to hear so I just hit play," he explained quickly.
"Oh," I exhale slowly. I’ll never get over him. Sure, he’s just about the biggest asshole I’ve ever met but his voice is the only thing that helps me transform a blank canvas. "I’m pathetic."
"I’m gonna go with bad memory for this one?" he asks.
"Depends. There are a lot," I shrug, trying to seem nonchalant.
Jacob shrugs. "Want to talk about it?"
"Not really." I shake my head. Jacob walks into the kitchen and back, handing me a beer. I lie on the couch and take a sip. "Jasper, the guitarist was my best friend. And Eddie…Edward," I correct myself, "I dated him."
"Sounds like a good story." Jacob nods attentively. I turn my head to glare at him, noticing that he got a beer for himself too. I watch him make a face as he takes his first sip of beer. I don’t even bother trying to stop him. He’s too much like me at his age.