I am a huge Twilight fan but didn't really care for Breaking Dawn. This story begins where Eclipse leaves off, with Edward and Bella still together as vampire and human. This story is both romantic and suspenseful, full of twists and even a new vampire clan threatening the Cullen's way of life. What would happen if Bella hadn't become a vampire yet? There's only one way to find out!
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Life was good. No more than good, it was perfect. I looked across the room at my beloved husband Edward, looking more beautiful than anyone ever had a right to, sitting by the fire in our perfect little cottage. He was smiling at me like he was the luckiest person in the world to have me, which I never could fully understand. How could he think he was the lucky one? This Greek god with the sultry, golden eyes was for some unknown reason in love with me. I was the lucky one.
That would have been enough for me. He alone would’ve been more than I could have ever imagined wishing for. But my luck and good fortune had brought me so much more, our daughter Renesmee. I looked down at her exquisite face, exquisite because she looked like her father, with the exception of having my eyes. As I rocked her to sleep I couldn’t help but remember the night we created this miracle, the night on Esme’s Island after our wedding, when I finally got to have Edward, in every way a person could have someone.
When it came to Renesmee, that’s really all I could remember. I was told of all the sickness and pain that came with carrying her, but somehow it had escaped my memory. There is no way a bad thought could come into mind while looking at her face.
As I hummed her my favorite lullaby, the one Edward had written for me in my previous life, my human life, I started to become very dizzy. Everything in the room started spinning out of control. I was starting to lose sight of everything I loved.
I started screaming for Edward as I couldn’t see him anymore, everything was black.
“Edward, where are you? What’s happening? Edward!”
It was only a few seconds but it seemed like an eternity before I could suddenly hear his voice again but it seemed so far away.
“Bella, I’m here my love. Bella, can you hear me? Come back to me Bella. Carlisle, come quick. I think she’s coming around.”
Carlisle? When did Carlisle get here? I saw a small beam of light in all of the darkness. It slowly grew larger and I could see some shadowy figures looking down at me. As things slowly came into focus, I could see Carlisle looking into my eyes with his pointer light thingy and behind him was my Edward. I was so relieved to see his perfect face. Even though it had only been a few seconds, it was too long to not be able to look at him.
“Edward? What happened? Where am I? Where’s Renesmee?”
Edward came to my side and slid my scared, shaking hand in his. “I’m here Bella. You are going to be ok.” His sweet smelling breath made me lose all concentration as it always had. It was intoxicating. I had to focus.
“Edward, where’s Renesmee?” He looked at me with his worried eyes and crooked grin he always had
whenever I did something stupid.
“Esme is right here and Renee is still in Jacksonville.” He must have misunderstood.
“No, not our moms, where is Renesmee?” He looked at me in utter confusion and asked “What do you mean, Renesmee? I think you are still a little confused my love.”
What was he talking about? How could he not know what I meant by Renesmee? “Edward, I mean
Renesmee, our daughter!” As soon as I screamed the words I felt a sharp pain in the back of my head. It felt like someone had hit it with a hammer.
“Daughter? Bella, what are you talking about? You must have hit your head harder than we thought to ever come up with that dream!”
Dream? What does he mean, dream?
“Bella, sweetheart, you have had quite a blow to your head. You were walking into the house to meet
Alice with all of your honeymoon clothes you wanted to pack and you must have slipped or tripped on something. It’s really impossible to tell with you what actually caused your spill. Anyway, you must have hit your head on the driveway pavement. You have been out of it for hours, well at least from our point of view anyway. You were evidently very busy in that bewildering mind of yours.”
I couldn’t breathe. Could it be possible? My perfect happy ending was only a dream? My honeymoon, my night with Edward, our beautiful daughter? My transformation from a plain, clumsy Jane to a beautiful, powerful vampire? It couldn’t be. It was too real.
Edward must have seen the confusion on my face as I saw him look at me with amusement. “You know, it’s incredibly frustrating to not be able to read your mind right now. I would love to know what you were dreaming about. It sounds quite fascinating.”
I was already having a hard time remembering to breathe; he didn’t have to make it worse by flashing that smile at me.
“You will have to fill me in when you are feeling better.”
“No Edward, you don’t understand! I wasn’t dreaming! It was real, all of it. Why are you doing this to me?”
“Shhhh……shhh Bella. Calm down. This will not help you with your recovery. Just rest and things will become clearer. Relax. I will be here. I will not move from your side. You can scream at me later.” As he winked I felt myself slipping back into unconsciousness. “It’s the pain medicine Carlisle gave you taking effect,” Edward whispered softly in my ear. “Get some rest.” I would have tried harder to fight it but I wanted to go back to my happy ending so I let it overcome me.
When I awoke several hours later, I realized Edward must’ve been right. The memories I had about him, Renesmee, my new birth, the Volturi, the other vampire covens, were all fading. They were just fuzzy pieces of a puzzle I couldn’t quite fully put back together. Before I could give it another thought, I felt his wonderfully cold, smooth lips upon mine.
“Welcome back. How do you feel?” When I didn’t answer him right away he gave me the Edward worried look again. He should know by now the effect his kisses have on me. It always takes me a minute to gain my composure.
“Well, besides the fact that it feels like someone’s drilled a whole in the back of my head with a jackhammer, ok I guess.” Edward hated seeing me in any kind of pain so he immediately called to
Carlisle for more pain medicine.
“No!” I stopped him in mid-sentence. “I’ve been asleep long enough. What time is it?”
“It’s 2:00 AM,” he replied.
“Two o’clock!” I screamed. “I have to go. Charlie is going to kill me!” I jumped off Carlisle and Esme’s bed which is where they had put me after my “spill” as Edward so amusingly referred to it, in one fast motion which was a monumental mistake. The dizziness overcame me and I felt myself starting to fall. I knew that feeling all too well. Unlike my last fall, I luckily had Edward there to catch me with his superfast reflexes and incredible strength this time. He had me cradled in his arms in an instant, chuckling as he so often did at my expense. After he softly kissed me on my forehead, he let me know that Carlisle had called Charlie and explained what happened. He promised Charlie I was fine but thought it was better if I had stayed with them for the night, just as a precaution. Charlie knew I was in the hands of the best doctor Forks had ever seen so he agreed.
“You must be starving” Edward said in his velvety voice. “Let me get you something to eat. I can bring it up here for you since your sea legs seem to not be working still.” He delicately sat me down on the bed with another gentle kiss and was off in a blur. I don’t know if I’ll ever get over the marvel at seeing him move with such graceful speed. In what seemed like no time at all, Edward was back with a plate full of scrambled eggs.
I shoveled the eggs down like I hadn’t eaten in ages. After I cleaned my plate Edward took it from my still slightly shaking hands and placed it on the nightstand. He moved to sit closely in front of me; legs crossed Indian style and grabbed my hands with his long, icy fingers which always seemed to burn me instead of feeling cold.
“So, why don’t you tell me about this dream of yours?” Again, the sounds… the delicious scent…he really needed to stop doing that until my head was back to normal.
“It doesn’t really matter. It was just a dream.” He must have seen the disappointed look on my face because he leaned forward and pulled me into his rock hard chest and caressed my back in long, gentle, icy strokes.
“Of course it matters. Bella, I always want to know what is going on in your mysterious mind. You know it drives me insane that yours, the one mind I want to see more than anyone else’s, is the only mind in the world I cannot read. You look upset and that is never acceptable to me. I need to know what happened in there so I can help you feel better. Please, tell me about your dream.”
As usual I couldn’t deny him anything he wanted so I surrendered and started to explain what fuzzy pieces I could remember. As I started to reveal the different scenes, I was sure to edit very carefully what little of the vivid memories I had left. Especially the details of the morning after Edward and I were finally able to show our love to each other. In the dream, I remember waking up with black and blue marks all over my body and feathers flying through the air from the pillows he had to bite to control himself. If I ever told him this he would never give in to my wants so I left that part out.
As I droned on, trying to remember what I could about Renesmee, his finally turning me into a vampire, the showdown with the Volturi, I could see him stiffen and start to get very agitated. His fists were clenched like he wanted to break something and his eyes grew more and more distant. I was choosing my words very carefully, trying not to reveal the worst parts I could remember, but it didn’t seem to be helping. It was at this point I realized this was a mistake and decided to just shut up. I was pretty much done anyway.
“Edward, what are you thinking? Are you ok? I knew I shouldn’t have told you anything. Please don’t let this bother you. It was only a dream. Yes, there were some not so pleasant parts like the Volturi but most of it was great. Our finally being together, our daughter, my new birth into a beautiful, powerful vampire!”
As soon as I got those last words out he jumped from the bed and started pacing around the room frantically holding his face in his hands and shaking his head back and forth as people did when they were trying to shake some awful, painful memory away.
“Edward? Say something.”
His pace slowed down and he removed a hand from his face, giving me the “one minute” sign with his finger. Slowly, calmer now, he joined me again on the bed. His face was down, staring at the beautiful silvery lace blanket that lay over the bed for several minutes. I finally reached my hands out and lifted his strong, beautifully pale face until his eyes met mine. I have seen pain in Edward's eyes way too many times for my liking in the past so it was easy to recognize how much he was hurting.
“Edward, what is it? This was a good dream!” I smiled and playfully nudged him to show him I meant it, but that only seemed to upset him further.
“Oh Bella”, he finally spoke in a low, defeated tone. “There are so many things wrong…I…I don’t even know where to start.” He paused for another minute, I assumed to gather his thoughts, before he spoke again. I didn’t understand his reaction. What about this dream wasn’t a good thing? I was more beautiful and strong as a vampire, we were able to be together and we had a daughter…a perfect happy ending. What could he possibly be upset about? Did he finally come to his senses and realize he didn’t want to be with me for eternity? That he could do much better?
As if he could suddenly sense my rapidly increasing fears, he grabbed my wrists and held my hands up to his stone cheeks.
“Bella, I don’t know what scares me more, your dream or your excited reaction to your dream.”
I was confused. I started to mumble, “Why? You know this is everything I want in this world, to be with
you forever.” He tried to give me a half-hearted smile but his attempt was futile.
“OK,” he began. “There are three things. Let’s start with the Volturi. You seem to think that is what bothers me the most but to be perfectly honest, it bothers me the least. Protection from them is at least something I could be successful at giving you.”
As he started to go on I interrupted him. “But don’t you see Edward; you didn’t have to protect me.
For once, I was able to protect you!”
He couldn’t help but give me that half smile I loved so much at my excitement that I could do something for him, but it didn’t last long. The annoyance was back in his smoldering eyes.
“Thank you for the introduction to point two,” he said in a much calmer voice now. “May I continue?” I shook my head in agreement.
“Bella, I know I agreed to your condition about it being me who…changes you…” He could barely get out the words. His voice was so pained now. “I plan on honoring that agreement after the honeymoon as promised. It’s just…your excitement about being turned into a monster hurts me more deeply than you will ever know. I know you think it is going to be this perfect life for us, and eventually it probably will be. You just don’t understand how hard it is going to be for you in the first couple of years. I don’t know if I will be able to even handle watching the pain my venom will cause you for three days much less watching you be tormented by your new thirst for two years. I don’t know if I can bear never again seeing your face blush whenever you are embarrassed or not hearing you whisper my name when you are dreaming. You seem to think me ending you is a great gift I am giving you. It is insane.”
I couldn’t help interrupting again. “But Edward, you’re not ending me; you’re giving me eternity, eternity with you. Nothing in my dreams could even compete with the happiness that you are going to give me.”
He just sat silently shaking his head again. We were never going to agree on this but luckily for me it had already been decided.
“And point three?” I asked, almost afraid to hear what his answer was going to be. The last two weren’t so great.
He sighed and looked at me with even more pain then I have ever seen before. If vampires could shed tears I was certain there would be too many rolling down his angel-like face right now.
“Bella, you know how important it is to me that you experience everything the human world can give you, right?”
As I sat their listening, I couldn’t help but smile a little, remembering the time he made me go to prom because “it was an important rite of passage” he said I shouldn’t miss. I remembered dancing, something the clumsy like me should never attempt, and him pulling me up so close to him it took my breath away. I remember kissing him under the lighted gazebo on that misty night outside of the prom hall. He was right. That is definitely an experience I would never forget. Not the prom, but my time with him there.
He must have seen me drifting away because he grabbed my hand again. “Bella, focus please. This is important.”
I eventually came back to the present and he continued. “You know…you know that something like
Renesmee could never happen with me, right?”
He stared into my eyes waiting to see my reaction. I must have made some kind of expression he didn’t like because the pained look in his eyes grew even worse. I didn’t actually now what kind of reaction I had given. I didn’t really know how I felt about it. Yes, in the dream it was wonderful to have that with
Edward but it was however only a dream that was fading more and more by the minute. I couldn’t even remember what our daughters face looked like anymore. Before the dream I had never even thought about it. I didn’t care about children. After all, they were messy, loud, and ultimately would take away time I could be spending with just Edward. So why did I give the reaction I must have given to cause him so much pain?
“Edward, that doesn’t matter to me. It’s you and only you I want to spend forever with.” I tried to spit the words out as quickly as I could so he wouldn’t think I needed time to think about it. It didn’t work.
“Bella, you are only 18 years old. You may not think you want this now but you might in the future. You should want this in the future. If you dreamed about it, maybe it is something you want deep down but don’t consciously think about. Look at Rosalie. Remember her story?”
As I drifted off again, I remembered the night that Rosalie, Edward’s sister for all intents and purposes, came to talk to me in Edward’s bedroom. It had taken me by surprise as Rosalie was never very friendly towards me. It was only after she told me her story that I understood why she was always so cold to me.
Rosalie had always wanted a happy family life while she was growing up. She dreamed of having the perfect husband, the perfect house, the perfect social life and most importantly, the perfect children.
She thought she was on her way to having all of that when her life suddenly changed in one horrific night. Her perfect future had turned into a perfect nightmare. She was dying but Carlisle saved her that night, made her immortal. Unfortunately it meant she could never have her dream of having a family.
That is why she resented me so much. I could still have all of that but was choosing to give it all up.
What she didn’t understand was that was her dream, not mine. My only dream was Edward.
The feel of his cold, strong lips upon mine brought me back to the present again.
“Bella, I…I wish you would just think about…”
It was time to interrupt again. “Edward, I have thought about it. I have thought about it and thought about it and then thought about it some more. How could I not when you are constantly making me think everything through. I have made my decision over and over again. You are everything I want and need. We’ve been through this. It has been decided. Please don’t let one clumsy accident and stupid dream change everything.”
His expression still looked pained but it was slowly starting to grow into acceptance. He forced a little smile and leaned over to kiss me again. It was at that moment that I realized my mixed feelings earlier about children were just a reaction to the dream. This is definitely what I wanted for the rest of my life.
I looked out the window for the first time and saw that the sun was already up in the sky. It was covered by a thick layer of fog like most days in Forks but it was there. Our conversation had been so intense that I hadn’t even realized the time was passing by so quickly. Edward asked if I had wanted to sleep some more but I didn’t feel tired at all. Just a little emotionally exhausted from the conversation. The throbbing pain in the back of my head had almost disappeared as well.
“I think I should probably get home. I’m sure Charlie’s worried about me.”
Edward gave me another soft, long, lingering kiss and nodded in agreement. He was still worried about my sea legs so he grabbed me up in his arms in a quick, effortless motion and carried me out to his car.
As we were driving to Charlie’s house, Edward had kept one hand on top of mine on the leather seats in his silver Volvo. As always, he was driving too fast, especially with only one hand, but it didn’t seem to bother me anymore. His superfast reflexes made driving with one hand for him much safer than humans driving with both hands.
“How is your head feeling?” he asked trying to cover up a chuckle. While he always worried about my clumsiness it also seemed to amuse him. I really, really didn’t like that.
“It’s fine. Just the embarrassment is lingering now.” I hoped he noticed the annoyance in my voice.
He couldn’t help but break out with a low key laugh, “and here I thought I could go hunting and you would be safe with Alice.” I’m going to have to remind her she needs to act more quickly when you’re in her care. I don’t need you falling again getting anymore crazy ideas in your head. There are too many there already.”
As we pulled up to the curb in front of Charlie’s house, I could see him pulling back the curtains to see who was arriving. Edward got out and opened my car door for me, always the perfect gentleman. It was so obvious at times that he was from a totally different era, the way he spoke, the way he carried himself, his never-ending chivalry. No one in this day and age could come close to measuring up to him.
I seemed to have got my legs working again but as we walked to the door Edward had his arm tightly around my waist just in case. He knew me too well.
“Bella” Charlie said in his over-protective fatherly voice. “Are you ok? I’ve been really worried.”
“I’m fine Dad. I’ve been through this routine plenty of times before as you well know. The Cullens were very nice as usual and took good care of me.”
“Let’s get you into the house,” he groaned looking at Edward as if my clumsiness was somehow his fault.
He took a minute to glare at Edward which he has always done, but not as much as he had in the past two days. As we walked through the door I heard him mumble to Edward again…”Keep her happy and safe huh?”
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