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Gray Skies Forever

Summary:
Edward leaves Bella again. Victoria attacks her and she becomes a vampire. After eighteen years Bella and her new family move back to Forks. The Cullens are back also. What will happen with Edward's and Bella's relationship? ON THE NEXT CH. PLEASE READ THE AUTHOR'S NOTE AND CHAPTER NOTES! I HAVE IMPORTANT THINGS TO ASK! PLEASE READ! CH 12- THE ANSWER/ NEW STORY! THANKS!




Notes:
Enjoy!


6. Choices

Rating 5/5   Word Count 2728   Review this Chapter

I spent the night on the roof looking at the stars. I had brought up the letters and every once in a while I would pick tthem up and read them, over and over again. They didn’t seem to get old. When I read them I felt… love.

I just didn’t know if I could forgive him. He had left me twice. But I think I really did love him and then I hated him too. He left me and for eighteen years I had a hole in me. I was incomplete. I spent eighteen years crying over him, eighteen years pining over him. I gave him my heart and I don’t ever think I got it back.

What was I suppose to do? I will have to see him today and tonight and probably the next day too. I would have to see him for as long we lived here. Or until they leave. And what will stop him from leaving me again. He may love me, but he could still leave me again, just like he had done before.

But I loved him. I believed he was my soul mate. But could I still forgive him though. Ahh! There are too many questions and I think way too much. I hit my head against the roof. It wouldn’t hurt me; it just made me feel better. I just had to make sure not to hit to hard otherwise it would put a hole in the roof.

“Bella, it’s time to go.” Kevin called from the ground.

“Ok.” I groaned and jumped to the ground, landing in front of Kevin. He steadied me.

“Hey, you ok?”

“As good as I’m going to get.” I pushed past him and went for the door. He tugged on my wrist.

“Bella, come on tell me.”

“I’m really not in a talking mood.”

“Fine. But sometimes it helps to get it out. Plus sometimes your family can actually help you with a decision.”

“Thanks for the advice.” I pulled away from him and ran to my room to change.

I put on my dark jeans with a black shirt with a low v-neck. I got my light blue high heels. I stuck my hair up in a ponytail with the curls hanging perfectly. I looked into the mirror and for getting dressed in two minutes I looked good, although I was a vampire.

I grabbed my keys and back pack and headed down the stairs. My family was already waiting in the car for me. I started it and flipped the car around and sped away.

We arrived at school in fifteen minutes. It was a very silent ride. I think everyone finally got the point that I didn’t want to talk.

I ignored everyone around me, wrapped in my own thoughts. I didn’t even realize that my family was still behind me or that Edward had appeared by my side suddenly.

“Hello, Bella.” The voice finally broke through my thoughts.

“Oh, hi.”

“I called your name three times. Do you really hate me that much? I thought we were… friends?” He apparently had trouble saying that word.

“We are. I was just thinking and didn’t notice you, that’s all.” I speed up to try to get away from him, but the keep up easily.

“Sure. I’ll see you at lunch, Bella.”

“Ok.” Oh goody, he really is taking this friend thing seriously.

The day flew by and before I knew it, it was lunch time. Maria and I walked to the lunch room. She was ranting on about a boy in her second period class and how he had asked her out twice already.

I had tuned most of it out, nodding and shaking my head when needed. I was thinking of Edward and how to deal with him. I didn’t know what to do. I loved him, but I hated him. I knew I couldn’t ignore him much longer, but I wanted to. I was caught in-between and I couldn’t choose a side.

We arrived at the lunch room and she was still going on about how to let him down easy.

“Bella? Bella?”

“Oh, yes?”

“We are sitting over here. Come on.”

“Oh, sorry.”

“You are so out of it today, why is that?”

“Yah, why is that? You have barely spoken a word to anyone today?” Kyle asked as we sat down at the same table we did yesterday.

“Nothing, I’m just thinking.” I answered, hoping they would drop it. I still didn’t want to talk about it.

I did notice everyone sat away from me, leaving the seat next to me open. They were all scheming, I knew it. Now I wasn’t angry anymore, just annoyed.

I looked around the cafeteria, I couldn’t find the Cullens. Just as the thought ran through my head they all walked in, one by one. Alice spotted us and she walked over to us, pulling Jasper behind her.

“Hey!” she sat across form me, with Jasper sitting next to her. Emmett and Rosalie sat next to them. They all left the seat next to me open, hum I wonder why? I thought sarcastically.

“So, I was discussing with Elizabeth today about Saturday. We are going to go to Seattle and have a big shopping trip. So far Rosalie, Elizabeth, Maria, and I are going, would you like to come?” Alice spoke enthusiastically.

“Can I come?” Edward pulled out the chair next to me.

“You… want… to go shopping? For a whole day? Holding our bags and running around the city? You want to go?” For once Alice was a little speechless.

“Maybe. It can’t be that bad, right? Well that is if Bella goes.” He turned his stare upon me.

“Well, I’m not going. I went shopping about a week ago.” I was groaning inside from Edward’s comment.

“That was like forever ago. Come on Bella. Please!” she begged.

“I really would rather not. I can only take so much shopping. You’ll have Rosalie and Maria and Elizabeth…. And Edward though.” I choked out the last part.

“Yes, but it will be even more fun if you come. Please!

“No, Alice. I’m not coming.”

“Fine… Edward you are not coming!” She thankfully let it drop.

“That’s ok; I don’t want to come anyway.” His gaze was still focused on me.

“So. Bella since I’m not going you can go now.” Edward implied.

“I not going whether you are going are not.” I replied hostilely.

“ok.” He let it drop. I carried on a conversation with Maria about the boy annoying her again. I felt Edward’s gaze on me though. I also saw Alice making gestures at him the whole time. I assumed they were having a private conversation. I could tell Alice was pissed right now.

“Well, Bella I’ll see you later in the last period.” Alice patted my shoulder and left followed by her family. Edward gave me one more stare then departed.

“We should probably go to.” My family got up and we made our way out of the cafeteria. Elizabeth skipped to my side and whispered in my ear.

“Give him a chance, Bella. He does love you.” She gave me a smile and left me standing by myself.

I groaned. I now had to face Edward, alone. I slowly walked to the biology building. He had already arrived there. He was writing something on notebook paper. I figured it was another note of his.

And sure enough the minute I sat down, he handed me a neatly folded note. I looked at it and made no move to take it as I sat down.

He grabbed my bag from my shoulder and stuck it in a pocket where the other letters were safely stored.

He gave me my favorite crocked smile and continued to wait for the teacher to arrive. I swear these notes were getting in my nerves.

The class went by swiftly and for once Edward didn’t stare at me. I had a ton of homework, but with my smarts and vampire speed it would take me fifteen minutes top.

I got up and gathered my belongings. Edward hovered at the desk waiting for me to finish.

I tried to ignore him as I pasted I him, but of course that plan failed. He took my arm and gently pulled me back to him. I landed against his hard chest. I looked into his eyes and for the first time in eighteen years, I didn’t look away. I couldn’t.

He smiled and he dazzled me. Yes, still. Even though I was a vampire he could still have such a strong effect on me. I lost my train of thought as I gazed into his dazzling topaz eyes.

I finally realized what was happening and looked away quickly. I almost fell into his trap. I looked towards the ground.

“Bella, can I walk you to class?” his velvety voice whispered into my ear as he held me against his chest.

“Umm… I guess.” Wait what did I just say, did I say yes? Crap!

“ok.” He lowered his hand to mine and intertwined them.

I tried to pull my hand away, but he held it strongly and I couldn’t pull away. He walked close to me across the campus, holding my hand in his in an inescapable grip.

“So, did you receive my note, last night?” he asked casually.

“Yes.”

“Did you read it or throw it out the window?” he turned his gaze on me. He smiled at me.

“I read it. I don’t hate you that much.” Why did I have to always be so honest with him?

“You apparently hate me enough not to forgive me.”

“I need… time.”

“Ok, I’ll give you all the time you need. Just expect me to be very persist and annoying during that time. I’m not losing you again.”

“I wish you wouldn’t try.”

“Why not?”

“Because…”

“Because?”

“I don’t know my choice yet.”

“Maybe I can help a little more.” He swung me against his chest and the next thing I knew his lips swallowed mine. The kiss was passionate and filled with love. I melted into his embrace again. I couldn’t think clearly and I kissed him back. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled myself closer. I felt his lips turn up in a smile.

I finally regain thought and realized that I had fallen into the trap. I pulled back immediately. I slapped his shoulder as hard as I could and stormed off. He finally realized what happened and came off after me.

“Bella, what was that for?”

“I’m not ready, Edward. You knew that and you kissed me. You knew that I wouldn’t resist and you still did it. I need time.”

“I’m sorry Bella. I just…”

“You just what?” I stopped and turned so we were face to face. His lowered his head so we were at the same level.

“I love you, Bella. I couldn’t help myself. I love you. Please forgive me?”

“I…I… I need to get to class.” I turned and walked off.

I didn’t know how to respond to his answer. When he said it that time it had a new meaning to it. It stung inside. I wanted to kiss him after he said that. To tell him I’m sorry too and I forgave him. It just opened more questions.

He didn’t catch me this time. He stayed were he was and held his head in his hands. He composed himself and began to follow me to the classroom, but made no move to catch up to me.

Alice had already sat down. I sat on the left side of her. Edward came in shortly after and sat on the right side of Alice.

“Have you two worked things out yet?”

“NO!” we both replied at the same time.

“OK.” Alice slumped back in her chair. Edward and I were still staring at each other.

“You two are being immature. You two are soul mates and you continue to fight.”

“Alice I have tried.” Edward argued back in a low voice, to low for the human to hear.

“You have persuaded me, in many ways I have said no to. But that doesn’t stop you now does it? Like I said before I need more time.” I spoke at the same level.

“I have gave you time.”

“A day or two. And you have also been annoying me every minute you can.”

“I’m trying to tell you how I feel.”

“You have made it clear!” I yelled back in a whisper.

“Do you two need me to move? I have feeling I’m in the way.” We were both leaning toward each other over Alice. She sat in-between us with her arms crossed over her chest with an exasperated look on her face.

“Your fine Alice. This conversation is done.” I turned back to my desk and opened my notebook. I began doodling.

Alice turned to Edward and smacked him on the head.

“Hey. What was that for?”

She gestured a hand to me. “Now you have just made her mad. Great job, Edward!”

I giggled inside. I loved how he always seemed to be the blame. He groaned and I laughed harder. A giggled escaped my lips, but I quickly composed myself before he even turned his gaze on me.

He didn’t look away and I seemed to be locked in his, like earlier. He was the first to look away for once. He ran his hand through his hair and took an unnecessary deep breath. As he calmed himself, my eyes still seemed locked on him.

Alice noticed and I think she told Edward through her mind. He sharply turned his head back to mine. His eyes dazzled mine. I just couldn’t look away. And for once I felt guilty about the pain I had caused him.

I mouthed sorry. I don’t know why I felt guilty. He was the one who left me, why should I feel guilty that I caused him the same pain I had to deal with for eighteen years?

He nodded and also mouthed an apology as the teacher walked through the door. Alice was both looking back and forth from us. She was smiling and waiting for the rest. When we both broke the gaze her face dropped and she loudly sighed.

I heard her mutter something about ‘ludicrous vampires.

The teacher started class. I tried to pay attention, but my thoughts were constantly about Edward. Every once in a while he would look over at me for brief second and then focus back on the board. I would often do the same thing. He caught me a few times, but I quickly turned my head before I could melt into his dazzling topaz eyes.

The class went slow. Seconds felt like minutes, minutes felt like hours. When the bell finally rang, I flew out the door before anyone else had even made a move.

Elizabeth and Kevin were waiting outside. I pushed past them and headed for my car. They followed silently, sensing my bad mood.

“Please ride with Maria. I’m going somewhere… to think. I’ll be back tonight. Don’t worry about me.” With that said I ran off to my car.

“Bella?” I ran faster and pulled open my door. I stuck the key in the ignition and whipped out of the parking lot. I knew where I was going. The meadow.

I speed up to a hundred miles per hour as I reached the highway. I parked my car at the spot where the trail was and took off running. I reached the meadow in seconds.

It was almost as beautiful as last night. The sunlight light up the meadow and I glittered to off my skin. It sparkled like a thousand diamonds.

The warmth made my skin tingle. I loved the sun and how it warmed me up; made me feel human again.

I sank to the ground. I forgot why I had even come here. I just concentrated on the sun and the meadow. I closed my eyes and relaxed.