I Need You Hopeless
"The man slowly walks towards me, and what I thought were gold eyes now flash a deadly crimson. The beautiful smile from before is long gone, a malicious smirk curling on his lips." JxB pairing. AU OOC
1. Chapter 1
Rating 3/5 Word Count 5596 Review this Chapter
This one-shot was inspired by Jennifer's Body. There is a character death and violence. A slight Darksper, so beware. Yes, there's a lemon in this so if you're not 18 or older, back off.
\ I*N*Y*H /
I am wandering barefoot in the forest behind my house, my fingers lightly touching the leafs above my head. A smile is on my face and I sigh contently as I twirl in a circle. The long white dress I am wearing floats around me, giving me the illusion of being an angel or a goddess. Haunting piano notes linger in the mist, but I cannot bring myself to listen.
Suddenly, a beautiful man with hair the color of golden wheat walks out from behind a big tree trunk. His handsome looks render me speechless and I am left with my heart thumping in my chest. The dazzling smile on his face makes my heart flutter and his strange topaz eyes are full of curiosity and excitement. He has high cheekbones and a nose that is perfectly straight. His lips are full and even have a Cupid's bow. Everything about him was ethereal.
Lightning flashes across the sky, and I get a better look at his face. The smile he is giving me doesn't seem so beautiful anymore. The wind increases and the soft music turns into a violent song. My dress and hair whip around my face and I could barely see through the heavy sheet of rain. My heart is fluttering at crazy speeds as fear creeps into my veins. The man slowly walks towards me, and what I thought were gold eyes now flash a deadly crimson. The beautiful smile from before is long gone, a malicious smirk curling on his lips.
I take steps back, my toes sinking in sludge. My feet seem to be sinking deeper and deeper into the mud and I let out a scream of frustration. The man's head cocks to the side and an evil glint is now in those horrific eyes. His hand grips my arm and he is yanking me out of the mud. I flinch at his cold touch. My back is suddenly slammed into the floor, the sounds of bones cracking makes me nauseous. I blink back tears and try to push past the overwhelming pain. I scream in agony and my fingers dig into the soil under me.
His hard body pushes me into the wet ground. Tears mix with the rain on my face and I beg him to not hurt me. The pain in my back increases with each slight movement. It is the worst pain I have ever felt in my life and the hard body pinning me to the floor is not helping.
Lips are now at my ear and I flinch away from the man's mouth, a scream erupting from my chest. I could hear his humorless laughter over the loud storm. His wet, icy hand grips my fist so tight that I could feel my jaw breaking. My scream sounds slurred to my ears and I thrash underneath the man. Panic consumes my body and I stare up at the man's face. His lips are moving, but there is no sound, only a buzzing in my ears. I wiggle under him and try to get free.
I'm losing, I'm losing. His sharp teeth are so close to my neck that I could practically feel them breaking the skin. More tears pour down my face and I beg him to let me live.
"Please, please. I won't tell anybody about this. I-I'll do anything. Just let me go, please," I sob.
My pleas fall on deaf ears. His tongue peeks out of his mouth and he trails it down the base of my neck. I shiver at the iciness. He places a gentle kiss below my ear before his teeth rip into my neck. I shriek as blood pours out of my wound at a fast rate. The pain is too much for my body, the icy fire erupting in each of my cells is excruciating. Everything is too cold. I try to pry him off of me, but it is no use. Strength is leaving me and I am weakly holding his hair. I could feel my entire life source being sucked out of me. I try to open my drooping eyes. Try to focus on something other than the putrid smell of my blood.
I could feel myself slipping into a dark hole, somewhere so cold, yet so peaceful. I whimper at this torture. As a last resort, I release a bloodcurdling scream at the tops of my lungs. "Stop!"
My eyes snap open and I take in a deep breath to stop myself from hyperventilating. I could still hear my heartbeat in my ears. The room has a light haze to it. It's as if I am wearing someone else's glasses. Students' eyes are glued to my face, whispers infiltrate my mind and I pick up on the conversations around me. 'Schizoid' and 'psychotic bitch' are the most common terms my peers use to describe me. I ignore them as I attempt to lower my heartbeat. Deep breaths, in and out.
"Isabella," the teacher's monotonous voice broke through my calming exercises. I cringe at the chastising he will be giving me shortly. "This is the fifth time you have disrupted my class with your rather loud antics. Do I need to send you to Mr. Lennox's office, young lady?"
I shook my head and jump when the bell rang. The teacher tuts at me before writing the homework on the chalkboard. I write down the assignment on my hand, my thoughts going back to my nightmare. I have had this particular dream so many times and it is starting to fuck with my fragile mind. I am constantly looking at my surroundings, my eyes seeking out the blonde haired man in my dreams. I am getting paranoid and maybe just a tad bit crazy.
With shaky hands, I slip my notebook into my bag and crush my folder to my chest. I scan the room, anxiously waiting for someone to comment on my outburst in the class. I really have to switch my medication. I wince at the thought of taking stronger meds. I don't want to be one of those emotionless zombies in the commercials. Ever since my mom and dad- no, Bella, don't go there.
A warm hand wraps around my forearm and I gasp. My hand flies to my chest and I feel my heart pumping at a quick rate. I glance at the person touching me, instantly becoming wary when I see that it's Angela Weber, the local goody-goody.
Her frown brings a scowl to my own face. Is she going to start reprimanding her for interrupting her bible thumping during class? I really am not in the mood for a religion to be shoved down my throat. I don't remember ordering it for breakfast.
She looks at me with sympathy in her brown eyes and flips her straight brown hair. Her fingers trace the buttons on her white shirt and a bushy eyebrow is raised.
"Isabella, you really should not fall asleep in class. God gives us schools so we could be the perfect servants for him. Do you think he would accept a girl with no aspirations in life?" Angela asks in a sweet voice. I roll my eyes and pull my arm out of her grasp.
"I don't care, Mother Theresa." I turn back to look at her reaction, but it doesn't make me smile. She is glaring at me in a way that sends chills down my spine. It reminds me so much of the evil look the man in my dream gives me. I shudder and briskly walk out the door. I have to go.
It is now two days away from Halloween and I should be excited, but I am not. The approaching of Halloween scares the shit out of me. I don't know why, but ever since I could remember I have always been terrified of this particular holiday. The crazies always come out that day. I bite my lip at the thought of my psychiatrist's term of crazies.
My last session with my psychiatrist ended with her losing her cool and telling me it is all my fault that I lost my parents. I quickly changed my psychiatrist and now I am slowly opening up to my new one, Sue Clearwater. She seems nice enough, but she knows my parents and I am in no way going to risk my life. Renee is still hell bent on getting rid of me like she has always wanted to do. She never wanted me and I am trying to get over the rejection of my family. I deserve better, or at least that's what all my shrinks have told me. I don't believe them.
That dream is still plaguing my nights and days. I can't get away from it. When I close my eyes, all I see is gold eyes warping into disturbing red irises. It scares me that my imagination can be so graphic. I don't know where I get these crazy scenarios from. Maybe I have to tone it down on the gory movies. What scared me the most, though, is that each time I dream that nightmare, more things become crystal clear. Like the fact that my killer looked at me with love brightly shining in his eyes. I try not to look further into it and I am trying my damnest to block everything out. I don't want to know. It's just a dream anyways.
My house phone rings and I sigh. I place the popcorn bowl on the tiny coffee table and make my way to the kitchen. I put the phone to my ear and I mumble a 'yellow.' There is no answer. I try again and wait for some kind of response. Nothing can be heard on the other line aside from static and light breathing. The hair at the back of my neck prickles and the phone is shaking in my hand. I could feel my anxiety creep up and I curse myself for not taking my medication today.
My panic increases and that trapped feeling I hate so much is cocooning me. I feel like I can't breathe, like I can't think. I am stuck and I don't know what to do. Not another panic attack. No, not now. I have to breathe. Take a deep breath. Breathe, you idiot!
"I'll see you soon," the caller says in a soft voice. I gasp and slam the phone back on the receiver. My heart beats at an erratic pace and my eyes scan around the kitchen, half-expecting an intruder.
I gulp and hastily make my way up the stairs to my bathroom. With quivering hands, I reach into my medicine cabinet and pull out my pill bottles. My fingers fumble to remove the lid. My right hand knocks into my left hand, sending the pill bottle into the sink. The pills scatter into the sink in what seems like slow motion. I curse my clumsiness and pick up the only pill that didn't fall into the drain. I pull out the glass cup in my cabinet, fill it with water, and toss back my pill with the water. The calming effects are already kicking in, my heartbeat already slowing down. Having to live with anxiety and paranoia is really starting to take its toll on me.
I close the mirror cabinet and look at my reflection. Bruise-like shadows are under my eyes, which gives the illusion of me participating in a fight, and losing said fight. My brown hair is limply framing my face and my cheeks look too hollow. I look like a walking skeleton. At least I am prepared for Halloween, I think wryly to myself.
\ I*N*Y*H /
One more day to go till that dreadful holiday. I decide to just sit at home and skip school for the day. It's not like I really learn anything. I already know most of the curricular that is taught, so it's not like I'm really missing anything new.
My hand covers my mouth as I try to stifle a yawn. I have had countless hours full of sleep, yet I still felt so tired. Maybe it's the crappy weather we have been having. I snort at my lame excuses. It's Forks; of course the weather is crappy.
Throwing the sheets back, I dangle my feet over the side of the bed and take my time walking to the bathroom. With my arms stretched above my head, I push the door open using my feet. My arms flop back to my side as my eyes land on the empty pill bottle in my trash bin. The idea of refilling my prescription is not appealing to me in any way. Yes, I did apprehensively agree with my shrink that I do have some mental problems, but are pills really necessary? I could handle myself on my own.
"Judging from your little episode yesterday, you proved how dependent you are of your pills," that annoying voice says in my head.
I fiercely rebut my thoughts while making a mental note to refill my prescription. I am not ready to stop taking my meds just yet.
The morning goes on without interruptions, except for when I spit out my breakfast cause in the back of my head I know someone is trying to poison me. Yes, someone must be after me. I look around the kitchen and calm down when there are no signs of an intrusion or a disturbance. I really have to get my refill soon. The feeling of somebody watching me never fails to put me on edge. I can't remember the last time I actually trusted a human. Parents fuck with your trust and shun you when they find out their daughter has symptoms of schizophrenia.
My doorbell rings and I bite my lip as I make way over to the door. My hand is on the knob when a voice echoes in my house. "They'll kill you."
The door handle is hot and I back away from the door. A random shoe trips me and I tumble to the ground. My chest heaves and the door seems to be growing in size. The ringing grows louder and louder in my ears until I feel a liquid leaking out my ears. My breaths are coming in pants and I crawl backwards, away from the large door. My head hits the corner of the wooden table, causing me to cry out. I clutch the back of my head, warm stickiness coating my fingers.
Just as I am about to let out a scream, the ringing stops and I realize that I'm still standing in the kitchen. Tears pool in my eyes and I yell. It isn't real, this isn't real. I'm slowly losing touch with reality.
There is a loud chirping noise and I whip my head to the clock on the wall behind me. It's that stupid cuckoo clock that I hate so much. I glare at the stupid gadget, willing it to shut the fuck up already. It doesn't listen.
Cuckoo clock is in my hands and I throw it to the ground with a roar. It shatters into pieces and I step on them to ensure that it will never work again. "Fuck you, fuck you!" I aim the curse words more at myself than at the destroyed clock. Knowing the time is pointless when half the things you experience are part of your own imagination.
When there is nothing but splintered wood and random pieces of metal, I wipe my eyes, and grab the broom and dustpan from the broom closet. Sniffles are the only sound I make as I pick up my little mess. The remains of the pesky clock are thrown into the trash and I am left staring at the place where the clock once was.
I wish I didn't destroy that clock.
\ I*N*Y*H /
Halloween is now here. I couldn't sleep last night. The vivid dreams I can't stop are a factor to that. The golden-haired man has been haunting my dreams for so long that I feel like I know him, which is preposterous. This dream is the only dream that has stuck with me for so long. It can't mean anything, right? I'm not really going to die at the hands of some gorgeous cannibal.
I huff before looking around the classroom. Everyone is dressed up in costume, me not included. The stupid tradition freaks me out for some reason and I refuse to become a sheep. I will gladly be a paranoid schizoid instead of a follower.
Jessica Stanley, a curly brown-haired girl, aims a piece of paper at my head. Before it could hit me though, I stick out my hand and catch it with surprising ease. My athleticism shocks me and I hesitate to unfold the messy paper ball. When the note is unfolded, I glance down at it and a scowl instantly appears on my face.
Love your costume. Does the asylum know you escaped? -J.S
I glare at her head and reach into my bag for the full water bottle I brought today. I aim and throw the bottle at her head, a satisfied smile spreading on my face when she howls. I gather my things when the bell rings and walk out to the parking lot before a scene breaks out.
Eyes are following me. I just know it. I glance around the lot, but find that nobody is staring at me, which is odd. A prickling of fear is slowly blooming inside me and I run to my car. Deep breaths manage to bring me back down slightly, but I know I'm going to have to refill my pills today. It's the inevitable.
I drive to my house in relative silence, the disturbing thoughts causing havoc in my mind. Me dead. Me being submerged in acid. Me being raped. Me being eaten by a beautiful stranger. I shake the thoughts off. I cannot afford to be thinking like that. Life is too precious to come up with silly scenarios that will never happen.
"Are you sure about that?" a voice to my right mumbles.
I freeze, my heart plummeting in my stomach. My head slowly turns to the passenger side. My eyes just about bug out my head and I release a scream. Sitting in the passenger's side of my car, is the man I have been dreaming for so long, a smirk on his handsome face. His golden eyes watch me curiously. I want to jump out my car. I want to talk to him. No, no. I am so fucking confused. I can't decide what to do.
My decision is made when all emotion abruptly leaves me and I stare blankly out my window shield. The man next to me doesn't matter, I tell myself. He isn't even real.
"I am real," the figment of my imagination says to me, his hand resting on my knee.
I cringe at how real his touch feels, but I don't fool myself. He isn't real. This is just one of your stupid symptoms. He isn't real, he isn't real. I am already driving into my street, when the wheel is jerked to the left. I shriek as my car heads for the trees. The impact is so strong, I am pretty sure my neck snapped and I am looking over my body.
Glass shatters around me and my head bangs into my window. I could smell the scent of rust and gas, but I am in too much pain to move. I think my hand is broken, but I may be hallucinating.
Cold fingers grip my neck and I gasp for breath as the hold tightens. I try to say something, but nothing can come out. The person is holding so tightly I am afraid that my esophagus is going to be crushed. I hope it is. Maybe then I wouldn't hurt.
"Isabella, why did you have to crash? Foolish little human," a man says indifferently.
I blink a few times and focus on the blur next to me. Golden hair, red eyes. I shriek as my dream turns into reality. He flashes me a wicked grin and tears my seatbelt. He somehow pulls me out of the wreckage, his icy touch miraculously warming up. I could feel electric currents passing where our skin meets. The pain I feel vanishes from me completely and I am left feeling euphoric. I glanced down at myself, scratches and tiny cuts littering my arms. Huh, I guess I got away better than I previously thought.
My eyes travel up to the tall man in front of me. His dark blue shirt clings to his body, showing off his incredible muscles. The jeans he is wearing hang dangerously low on his hips. The face I have memorized so well is now in front of me, void of any emotion.
"Who are you?" I finally ask the blonde, my eyes shooting down to my feet.
A deep chuckle sounds across the forest and I shiver at the empty sound. The fear is starting to kick in and I remember how my dream ends. I die.
I have to run. He isn't a nice guy. He is going to kill me. He always ends up killing me. Run, Bella, run. I take a quick step to the left, but steel bands wrap around me so fast, the air is knocked out of me.
"Where do you think you are going Isabella?" he drawls, a Southern accent coloring his words.
Fear cripples me and I am his. The look he gives me makes me want to give him everything I have. "Home," I say weakly.
His laugh sent shivers down my spine, but I rejoiced at the way his chest rubbed against mine. His arm tightens around my waist and his face presses against my hair. I remain stoic still and stop breathing. This causes the blonde to laugh.
I could feel his lips on my neck, feel his breath tickle my skin. "I am your home, Isabella."
My back is suddenly pushed into a tree and I moan at the pleasurable pain. His lips are suddenly on mine, and I gasp. His tongue snakes its way into my mouth and flicks the rook of my mouth. I am at a loss. I don't know what to do in a situation like this.
He pulls away from me and trails kisses down my neck. I shiver, but now in a good way. I could feel this new feeling rise inside me and I find myself wanting this stranger.
"Jasper," he whispers against my neck. I nod and pull his face up to my own to kiss him. This time, I do not hold back and press my lips hard against his. His hands cup my cheek and his lower half grinds into my hip.
I gasp, pulling away from the kiss with a moan. My eyes are clenched shut as the foreign feeling from before starts to grow slightly. What is that?
I moan again, but this time when his hip bone rubs against my core. There is a tightening in my abdomen and I grip Jasper's hair and pull him down for another kiss. He bites my lip and I could taste the bitterness of blood in my mouth. His hands tightened on my waist painfully, his nails digging into my ass. I say nothing concerning the pain I am feeling. Instead, I tentatively press my hips against his, earning a groan from him.
There was a tearing sound and my skin was suddenly hit by the cold air. I could feel my nipples tighten from the freezing wind and moaned at the strange sensations. My underwear feels a little damp, but my hips are still grinding into Jasper's. He thrusts against me and I let out a breathy sigh.
"That-that feels good," I whisper against his lips.
He grunts before leaning down and capturing my right nipple in his mouth. I groan as his icy tongue circles around my skin. While he sucks hard on my nipple, his hips pin me to the tree. The rough tree bark scrapes my naked back as I arch into Jasper's mouth. His large hand cups my left breast and kneads it, twisting the nipple as he does so. I cry out and squirm in his hands.
My legs are wrapped around his slim waist and he is pressing hard against my core. He pulls away from my breast and blows on the wet skin. Deep in my abdomen something tightens even more and I moan once again. His hips twist and press up against me and I am falling into bliss. The feeling of euphoria fills me so completely that I have to close my eyes to stop the colors from blinding me. I grip Jasper's hair in my hands and thrust against him.
I am pushed into the ground and my pants are gone from my body. Jasper is now shirtless and I stare unabashedly at his well-toned chest. He is all man and I can't help but send my thanks to God.
I drag my hands down his torso and stop at his belt. I peek up at him through my lashes, smiling when he kisses me roughly. I make quick work of his belt and unbutton his jeans. I push down his jeans with my feet and he kicks the rest of his jeans off. I thread my fingers into his soft hair and press my lips to his neck. He shivers, my name falling from his lips. I smile, but frown when he rips my underwear off.
"You're fond of ripping clothes."
"Do you like to talk every time you have sex?" he throws back at me, his tone slightly annoyed. I bite my lip and look at the tree to my left. Embarrassment takes over all of my previous emotions and I am blushing. How do I tell him I am a virgin?
Jasper sighs, but gently turns my head to stare at him. "I could teach you everything you need to know," he says, his eyes glittering with a hidden emotion. My head bops up and down without my permission.
I take a deep breath and my eyes go south. They widen when I take in the size of his dick. It's huge and I am not so sure if it could actually fit in me. I hope it does because I am sure Jasper is very entertaining. I hesitantly wrap a hand around him and squeak when he bucks into my hand. It feels rather silky, yet hard at the same time. If that even makes sense. I drag my hand up and down slowly, taking in Jasper's growls and grunts of approval. I move my thumb over the tip of his penis, liquid smearing as I move my finger.
Jasper's hand grips my wrist, stopping me from my ministrations. I am slightly hurt until the rejection is replaced with calm. "Darlin', I ain't gonna last if you do that."
I nod again. Then his fingers ghost up the inside of my thigh. I moan and throw my head back as the dampness grows in between my thighs. He deeply inhales and I blush when he says I smell good. His finger slides up and down my slit and my eyes clench shut at the wonderful feeling.
His finger slips inside me easily. I gasp and snap my eyes open. I grab onto his shoulders and press a hard kiss to his lips, my tongue slipping into his mouth. He added another digit, stretching me in a delicious way. I moaned against his mouth and grinded against his hand.
He suddenly pulls his fingers out of me and I whimper. I quickly shut up when his hard dick presses against my entrance. I am nervous and don't know exactly what to expect.
Jasper slowly slides into me and I wince at the pain. He is too big. All of the pleasure is now out of my body and I try to wiggle away from him. He growls at me and all I feel is fear. I need to leave. This isn't what I want to do anymore.
I look into his eyes and my lustful emotions from before have returned. I moan and with one thrust, he is fully sheathed inside me. I cry out as the pain consumes me. I knew it was going to hurt. Why does it have to be so painful?
When I am sure that I cannot feel anything but pleasure, I nudge Jasper, who isn't moving above me and has his eyes clenched shut. His eyes snap open and I am now looking into slightly black eyes. My legs wrap around his waist, and my feet press into the back of his thighs.
This seems to snap him out of his little daze. He smirks at me before pulling out almost completely and slamming back in with so much force, I move a couple inches upwards. I moan as desire starts to power through my system and all I want is him. He starts to build a tempo, and I push against him whenever he thrusts. We are pushing and pulling and I am gripping his hair while his name tumbles out my mouth in pants and groans.
"Faster," I gasp.
He throws my leg over his shoulder and thrusts harder and faster than before. I scream at the new angle and claw at the forest floor. I try to hold onto the grass as he pounds into me, but nothing can give me the support I need. His hand reaches down and he pinches and rolls my clit in between two fingers.
His hips pivot and he is hitting my g-spot. "Yes, yes!" My clit is throbbing and with one final pinch, I scream as my orgasm takes over my body. He thrusts harder and faster than ever before and I am temporarily blinded by my third orgasm.
Then, something rips into my neck and the pain devours me. I scream and touch my neck with shaking fingers. Red liquid coats my hand and I yell as Jasper's cold seed shoots inside me. I try to push him off of me, but the harder I push, the more he rips into my neck.
Blood drips down the side of my neck at a rapid rate and I am feeling woozy. The cold is starting to seep into my bones.
Jasper pulls out of me and looks down at me, his now red eyes glittering with joy. My hand is trying to stop the bleeding, but I know I am going to die. I am already exhausted and things are starting to look hazy.
"Oh, Isabella, you smell divine," Jasper states, excitement clear in his voice.
I look at him through drooping eyelids and wince when I see my own blood dripping down his lips and smeared on his chin. His lips are painted crimson and match his eyes. His nails dig into my hips and I could feel the skin tearing. He runs his nails down my thighs, breaking the skin as he goes along. He crushes my hip in his death grip and I scream as the bones shatter. Jasper has a crazed look in his eyes similar to the one in my dream. He picks me up and throws me at a tree, my sides instantly hurting when they collided with the hard tree trunk. I shake and lay in a crumpled, bloody mess of broken limbs.
He inhales and smiles at me. "Why?" I croak. My life is slowly slipping from my grasp. I at least want to know why he is doing this to me. I deserve that much. Huh, something my shrink would tell me.
Jasper cocks his head to the side, an amused look crossing his face momentarily. It is gone and he is nothing but an evil monster.
"Because I need you hopeless," his voice rings clearly in the forest and he smiles at the sound of his own voice.
A smirk plays on my lips as I remember the movie that line is from. Pathetic fucker couldn't even think up his own reasons.
I glare at him and feel the anger bubbling inside him. I hope this asshole burns in hell for killing me. I hope he suffers a long death. I am going to haunt his fucking ass for the rest of his pitiful life. I want him to rot in hell and suffer with the rest of us. He is going to get his.
"When you start watching movies better than Jennifer's Body, come find me in hell, you worthless fucking piece of shit."
His eyes narrow and he throws himself at me. He looks at me with hatred in his eyes and some liquid dripping out his mouth. I am not scared, just tired. "Happy fucking Halloween, Isabella." My head is in his hands and with one flick of his wrist, I finally get what I have always wanted.
So were you guys expecting that? Tell me what you think.