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my heart doesn't belong to you anymore

when edward comes back after alice saw bella jump, he didn't go to the volturi he went back to forks to see for himself, he finds bella right and well... and friends with a werewolf. he comes to the conclusion she isn't safe when she spends all her time with werewolfs, so he calls all the cullens back. will he win her heart or will a certain other cullen who come back. a cullen that bella starts showing feelings for..... ok i know im crap at summarys but still. i havn't been able to do anything for this for awhile coz my password wasnt working then i had to reset it, which i didn't do for a few months :) forgive me please... now anyone who actually goes on this site anymore..... READ!!!!!!!!!!!!!! please? --------- love beth

i am in no way worthy of the awesome stephenie meyer. All shall bow down to the almighty royal highness and her awesome imagination that created this masterpiece of a series and gave us all something to elaberate on. And gave me jasper to fantasize about :) hehehehe

1. werewolf! why doesn't that surprise me?

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Jake is a werewolf. I mean really a werewolf. He turns into a giant dog!

Why, oh why, do I surround myself in mythical creatures? Charlie is for sure going to send me to a lunatic asylum in the mourning the way things are going. I have a vampire boyfrie... Sorry ex-boyfriend, a family of vampires (that I haven’t seen or heard from in five mouth since the said ex-boyfriend left), and a werewolf best-friend.

Oh, I know why I surround myself with mythical creatures, there my heart and soul; I remember what it was like before I found out that they actually exist. And I’m no way in hell going back to that now.

GeezI’ve got to get out more. I thought, you know make some normal human friends... narr.

Yes I think I have realised I am stalling. Putting off the inevitable nightmares of when he left, wondering around in the forest never to find my love, my love who doesn’t love me. Sigh.

I lay back, rest my head against the lumpy pillow, close my eyes, and do these breathing exercises my erratic mother told me to do before bed, its ment to help with the nightmares.

I roll my eyes and get back to it.

I wake screaming like any other night. Charlie doesn’t check on me anymore, this is officially the norm. The breathing exercise didn’t work. Again. But any time my mother calls and I tell her I’m still having the night mares he asks if I’m doing them and I’m a terrible liar … even over the phone my mum can pick up if I’m lying. I’d hurt her feeling if I stop doing it and why put her through more when she and Charlie already suffer enough because of me already?

I’m a bad daughter, Charlie is probably going to get a heart attack like harry, from everything that I’m putting him through. Thank god he doesn’t know about the motorbike. I actually think I’m getting the hang of it. I barely hear his voice anymore.

Maybe I should take Jake up on that offer for cliff diving. And with that I start my day with a mischief smile on my face. I headed to the bathroom to take a shower, wash my hair with my favourite strawberry shampoo and climbed down the stairs to start making some breakfast for Charlie, it’s Sunday, he’ll obviously be going fishing so I decided to make pancakes. Lots and lots of pancakes.

Flour. Egg. Sugar. Milk. And stir.

When I used about half the batter Charlie stumbled down the stairs awoken by the aroma of the cooking pancakes. I put several on a plate and place it on the table in Charlie’s usual place. And give him a smile.

“Mourning dad” I said still smiling. He’s scrutinizing my face by now, thinking I’m probably putting on a happy face so he won’t worry about me. I sigh, I really am a terrible daughter. I keep smiling hoping he doesn’t see that little bit of pain deep in my eyes that is a permanent fixture on me these days.

“Mourning Bells” he says with a smile, seems he bought the smile, or at least figured it’ll be the best he’d get. He pours maple syrup on top of the pancakes and starts eating them.

I continue to pour the batter into the frypan, waiting for the circle to be covered in tiny little bubbles then I flip it over.

"these are delicious bells, and I know I eat a lot but with you and I put together we still wont be able to eat all of these." he says, and I look over and see just how many pancakes I've made, woops I have about to big plate stacked about half a metre high on each and still have batter left.

"err, um , I was going to go to la push and give some to Jake, you know he'll eat that house if he had somewhere else to sleep." I joke, pouring the last of the batter in the pan. I start packing some of the pancakes away in a large container.

"you should eat something too, bells" he says looking at me worrying after seeing me packing all the pancakes away. So I get the last pancake out of the pan dribble some maple syrup on it and take a bite.

I smile at Charlie "love you dad" I kiss him on the cheek and head out the door.