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Wanting

Summary:
Rosalie has always wanted a child. Something, she could never have. When Carlisle makes a surprising discovery, Rosalie will have to learn to love a child froma broken home while trying to save hers from being torn apart. This story is about healing, family, and most of all, love.


Notes:
Hey everyone. This is my first crack at writing fan fiction. Hope you like it!


1. Mine

Rating 0/5   Word Count 1768   Review this Chapter

Renesmee came running down the stairs.

“Aunty Rose! Jake wants to go to the beach! Can we pretty please?”

She flashed her perfect smile and my heart melted.

“Go ask your mother Nessie.”

She ran off and I flopped onto the couch next to Emmett. I laid my head on his shoulder and sighed. He stroked my hair and gently lifted my chin so he could see my eyes.

“I know babe.”

He said softly. Sometimes, I felt like the luckiest girl on the planet that I was the only one who got him out of his goofy shell. He saved his quiet, gentle, moments for me and only me. Today however, I didn’t feel so lucky.

“It’s not fair.”

I choked out. I was close to tears. Well, the vampire equivalent of tears anyway.

“You wanna go upstairs?”

He asked me gently as he stroked my hair. I thought about it for a moment. Upstairs, in our room, no one would bother us. It was a Cullen rule. If someone is in their room, what they say and do is for them to tell. Don’t ask questions, no matter what you hear. I thought about whether or not I wanted to let everyone else in my misery too. I decided against it.

“Yeah lets go.”

He led me gently upstairs and closed the door. I exploded.

“It’s not fair!”

I screamed.

“Why does she get a child when she never even wanted one! Why can’t I have one! That’s all I want! Just one! Is that too much to ask!”

Emmett pulled me close to him and listened. He didn’t say anything. Just listened. It was very unlike him so I looked up into his face. He smiled a small smile at me and sighed.

“Hey I’m kid enough for anybody.”

He said; a lame attempt at a joke.

“Em. I’m not joking.”

“I know babe. I just hate to see you so upset.”

“Would you even want a child?”

I asked him quietly. I had never asked him this before and for some reason, I needed to know the answer.We laid back and he stared at the ceiling for a while.

“Well, yeah. I mean, it would make you happy, and Nessie isn’t gonna be a little kid forever. Besides, he or she would be ours. Just ours.”

He kissed me softly and I snuggled closer to him, wanting to toy with the idea for a bit longer.

“If we had a boy, what would you name him?”

Emmett thought for a while and finally shrugged his shoulders.

“I don’t know. Probably Christopher.”

“I like Christopher.”

Happy with the approval I gave of the name, we just let the silence wrap around us for a while. I day dreamed about us having a family. Picturing us dropping off our little boy, or girl, to school. Them waving at us with a big smile. In my thoughts, our child had Emmett’s eyes. They had his goofy sense of humor that I love.

“But you know what Rose?”

Emmett’s question broke the silence bringing me back to earth.

“What?”

I responded.

He rolled over and looked at me.

“I think I’d want a girl though.”

His answer surprised me. I’d always thought he would want a boy. Someone to mess around with, to play catch and watch football.

“Oh really now.”

I said, prompting him for more information.

“Yeah, I mean, I’d be happy with either, but, I don’t know. I’ve just always wanted a girl.”

I smiled at him and let perfect idea roll around in my head, but sudden realization cut my happiness short. I took a shaky breath and frowned.

“Well, I guess it doesn't matter because we’ll never be able to have one.”

I crossed my arms across my chest in complete despair.

“I know babe. I know.”

We took comfort in each others embrace for a few hours until there was a small knock on the door. The door slowly opened and Esme walked in cautiously. Not wanting to stir my mood.

“You okay Rose?”

She asked softly.

“No.”

I said bluntly.

“I’m miserable.”

She smiled a small smile at me and sat on the edge of the bed. Emmett took that as his cue to leave.

“Hun, I know how you feeling...”

“No you don’t!”

I cut her off. Appalled that she even thought she could know how I feel.

“You're perfectly happy! You took all of us in and that was enough for you! Well it isn’t enough for me, okay!”

She sighed and tried again.

“Rose, I wasn’t always this happy. People find happy in different places. Try to find yours and who knows? You might even enjoy life a little along the way.”

I rolled my eyes.

“Ha. Like that’s ever going to happen.”

She kissed me on the head and left the room, and I wallowed in my self pity for a while. I was the embodiment of miserable for a few months. My family tried everything, but I just wouldn’t respond to any attempts of comfort.

“Hey Rose lets go shopping!”

Alice flounced in, annoying me. I put my book down on the table and looked at her.

“No Alice.”

I picked up my book again hoping she’d leave me alone,but I had no such luck. She ran over and took my book from me. In return, I gave her my best “you will lose that hand if you don’t give it back” glare.

“Oh come on!”

She whined.

“You're no fun anymore!”

I glared at her again.

“I said no Alice!”

She huffed and threw the book back on my lap. Defeated, she stuck her lip out and walked away. Any other person would get up and apologize, but I’m not that person. I went back to reading my book, happy that she finally left me alone.

As the months wore on, I got worse. Even Renesmee didn’t want to spend time with me.

“Mommy, can you play with me?”

“Not now baby, why don’t you ask your aunt if she’ll play with you?”

Nessie put her tiny hands on her hips and stuck her lip out.

“But Mommy! Aunt Alice is hunting!”

Bella sighed and rubbed her head like she had a headache. I knew she didn’t. It was just one of her habits.

“Yes, and you have another perfectly good one.”

Renesmee looked over at me then back at her mom with desperation.

“Aunt Rosalie is no fun anymore Mommy.”

Bella kneeled down and looked Nessie in the eye.

“Aunt Rosalie is a very sad person right now.”

I snorted in protest. Bella looked at me and rolled her eyes.

“Anyway, maybe if you played with her, she’d cheer up.”

Renesmee looked down at her feet and sighed.

“I guess I’ll just go to my room and color.”

As she started up the stairs, Bella marched over to me.

“Well I hope your happy. Your own niece doesn't want to even be around you.”

“Go away Bella.”

She didn’t go away. In fact, she just stood there until I looked up at her.

“I don’t know what is wrong with you, but you need to get over it fast. I’ve about had it with you.”

I stood up and looked at her square in the eye.

“Then leave.”

I stormed up to my room and slammed the door so hard the house shook. I was livid. I was so mad I wanted to break something. I was so mad that all I could do was collapse on my bed in an angry heap; and that’s where I stayed. Sure, I left to hunt, but aside from that I stayed in my room, on my bed, one very angry and miserable person.

“Hey babe can you come down here for a second?”

Emmett called me one morning in early fall. It was the first time since my fall out with Bella that anyone had tried to get me to do anything.

I walked down the steps and saw everyone. Sitting in a circle, a mission clearly painted on each of their faces.

“Oh HELL no.”

I growled and started to go back up the stairs, but Emmett was faster, and he pulled me to a seat with him.

“Just wait and see. You’ll like this.”

I glared at him for a good five minutes before Carlisle started speaking.

“Rose, we all know you’ve been feeling a bit... not yourself... lately.”

“NO really?”

I rolled my eyes and he continued. Unscathed by my sarcasm.

“Let me just cut to the chase then. We have found you child.”

My eyes must have popped out of my head. My mouth was wide open. Alice was dancing and giggling in her seat.

“What? Wh-why? I’ve been nothing but terrible to everyone.”

Esme smiled and patted my leg.

“Rose, we know you didn’t mean it. It upset us to see you like this just as much as you felt hurt inside.”

I looked around at the faces of my family. Every one of them had a smile. Every one of them showed forgiveness. I was overwhelmed by emotion. I felt guilty at the pain I had caused, I felt relief that everyone forgave me; but most of all I felt excitement. Excitement at the fact that I would have a child. That my picture of my little family would be complete.

“Th-thank you.”

I managed to choke out. Carlisle smiled and continued.

“We’ve found a half vampire little girl...”

“Like me!”

Nessie proclaimed proudly. Everyone laughed. God, it felt good to laugh again.

“Yes Nessie like you. Now as I was saying, this little girl somehow managed to get into the system and she is up for adoption.”

Carlisle smiled and waited for me to respond.

“Adoption? Like take her home and keep her forever because she’s mine adoption?”

Emmett burst out laughing, unable to hold it in anymore.

“Yes! And she’s the most gorgeous thing! Carlisle giver her the picture!”

I snatched the picture like it was the only thing that could save my life. I looked at the tiny face and a sob manage to escape my lips. She as the most perfect thing I had ever seen. She had long, curly, chocolaty brown hair. So long, it reached her waist. Her eyes were green like emeralds, and she had tiny freckles on her nose. Her skin was like Nessies, the same color as alabaster, with a slight pink tinge to her cheeks. I fell in love instantly. She was my curly haired child. She was mine.