Edward and Bella are born and raised together, There life is sheltered and untouched by horror until tragedy strikes killing Bella's father in a horrible accident and everything they had is taken from them and Edward is driven insane trying to get back to her. and what they once had. All Human Twilight FanFic
(This story deals with Abuse , Drug use & Suicide, Please be prepared for this.)
2. Remains from the Crash
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I spent all my time looking out my bedroom window. I could not guess how many hours I've spent sitting here in my fathers old arm chair, snuggling myself as deep into it as possible trying to remember what his hugs felt like. Trying to remember any of it.
I spent so much of my time trying to hang on to any memories I could of him. But the fight was an up hill battle and the guilt from losing was braking my heart.
I remembered the morning before he died like it was yesterday but the rest of the day was gone, i no we were in a car accident but i could not remember one single detail, most people would say i was lucky but I don't remember the last thing he said to me before he died and that plagues me, I don't no why it was so hard to remember what was probably the best part of my life.
My mother if you can call her that left Charlie when I was only a baby and never once looked back. but we didn't care, Charlie always said that we had everything we needed and more, I had him and we both had the Cullen's.
Dads house was just outside of town and was surrounded by the Forrest, there was only one other house close by and that's where he was. My Edward. His mother and mine were friends and when she left, Edwards mother Esme always wanted to do all she could to help Charlie with me since he never had a baby or anything to do with one.
But these are just stories I've heard or facts I no. Memories of that time have faded. Now I'm left with what I call glimpses. Just small flashes that left me frustrated trying to remember something out of my reach. I remember stupid things like, flying through town and everyone looking up and saying hello to me. But why did I feel like I was flying.
I remember a boy coming into my room in the middle of the night, one who I can't remember the face of but I'm sure it was Edward.
I wished I could remember Edward more clearly, I had small memories of the two of us playing in the woods between our houses, we were always laughing I knew in my gut that he would always look after me and keep me safe when he was around, I remember He used to always hold my hand when we were together and treat me so incredible sweet, like a young prince charming and that's how I will always think of him, but I remember no real details, I don't no why I long for him, or dream of the feelings im sure he used to bring, his safety and love, But what I am sure of is that he was my everything, he lingered in my veins and deep in my soul.
I woke one sunny Sunday morning and ran down stairs to tell Charlie I was going to meet edward 'half way' which ment half way between his house and mine. I dressed warmly when I woke to save Charlie complaining 'I'd catch my death' , After I put on my sweater, jeans and my boots I ran downstairs in a hurry to leave. Charlie always treated me like a princess and most of the time I would scold him in my head for letting me think that I was a princess in a fairytale instead of a lonely girl in a nightmare.
"hi dad...bye dad"i said as I ran past him in the kitchen and out the backdoor but before I hit the steps one word stopped me.
"Bells...." I stopped and sighed. I pop'd my head inside the door and looked up at him using my cheekiest smile in the hopes he didn't remember that I was meant to clean my room before I went anywhere.
"I didn't make all these pancakes for myself missy"
"oh" I giggled and skipped over to the table.
Charlie sat across from me after putting the huge plate of blueberry pancakes in-front of me.
"So..." he began as he started to dig into his breakfast "what are the plans for today Princess Bella"
I smiled up at him with my mouth full of pancakes and tried to chew so I could answer "Edward" I announced thinking that would be enough said. He nodded with a grin "and" he said waving his hand round and round
"well we were going to go to the meadow behind his house and play on the swing Mr Carlisle put up. It's gonna be neat" "sounds neat" he replied, Charlie used to hang on every word I said as if every insignificant thing I said was the most important thing he has ever heard and it made me feel like I was the most valuable person in the world to him.
"well I was thinking we would maybe go to the diner for dinner and maybe a movie afterwards what do you think?"
I straightened up in my seat at the thought of going to the movies because I knew that the latest girlie fairytale crap had been brought out and Charlie always took me to watch them even though I'm sure it killed him to sit through ninety minutes of complete boredom colored in pink.
"I'll take the giggle tantrum as a yes"
I continued to scream and carry on in excitement over the movie for another ten minutes while he just smiled at me lovingly.
"so then I'll pick you up from the Cullen's at three o'clock OK"
"it's a date" I Said grinning at him.
I finished my last mouthful of pancakes and looked over to him knowing he knew what I wanted
"OK then off you go"
I lept out of my seat and leaned over to him to plant a kiss in his cheek "thanks dad"
"put your beanie on, you ll catch your death" i giggled to myself as I picked up up off the bench and continued to the back door again and but as I ran down the stairs of the porch I heard his voice again "don't think your getting out of cleaning that room either princess" I giggled at the obvious amusement in his voice as I ran off into the Forrest. That was the last memories I had of Charlie and Edwards family. I can't remember the specifics of anything. I don't remember when the Cullen's moved, I just no it wasn't long after Charlie died and that they left me here.
For some reason unknown to me I was left in the custody of Billy Black and his wife Samantha , I didn't understand why he didn't just leave me to the Cullen's, I'm sure Esme would of wanted me, I remembered that her telling me all the time how she and Carlisle adored me and thought of me as one of there own. Sometimes I think maybe the Cullen's didn't want to take on another child seeing as the already had three boys...maybe they didn't want a girl? Or maybe I was just the neighbors kid in the end, Not worth the hassle, Guess ill never know why I am so unwanted especially by the only women who my heart cherishes. I'm sure she was my mother, the only one I ever had. I'm sure she done my hair and painted my nails. I remember her picking me up in her arms in a colorfully painted hallway, wiping the sweat from my face and telling me that I was going to be OK. The small memory of nurturing and compassion stained my mind through my "childhood".
I lived on the reservation ever since Charlie died with mr Black son Jacob and his wife Sam, he had only married her a few years before Charlie died. Im unsure of the details behind Jacobs real mothers death, just that she died when he was only four.
Jacob knew nothing but this life and seemed to be strong enough to handle everything but I hated growing up there
.I have a few memories of running from the reservation and through the Forrest to the meadow by Edwards old house where he was waiting.
Almost a year after Charlie died. I remember crying into Edwards arms. Begging him not to leave me here then being ripped from his arms by a police officer. I don't even remember how I knew he'd be there waiting for me. It was all so blank. I remember Sam screaming on the phone about keeping him away from me. But there had to be more to it. None of it made sense...and there were so many missing pieces.
My brain had blocked out my life, i can only assume to save me from going insaine. I mean how much can a kid take.
I was alone and unprepared for it.
Billy was a complete control freak and well... he was completely insane. He physically and psychologically abused us all constantly, I was thirteen when Sam eventually left him, Jake and I never once blamed her..not once, most people did. It would be easy for someone on the outside looking in to say she abandoned us, that she should of stayed and protected us but Jake and I both knew she never had a chance protecting us and really if either one of us had some where to run too we both would leave each other with out a thought besides its not like she was our mother.the funny thing was When she left things actually did get better in a way because it meant that Billy would go on drinking benders for days sometimes even weeks, we never knew when or if he was coming back or even where he was but we also knew as soon as he did get back he would often sleep it off for days.
It was nice when it was just the two of us, Jake and I were pretty close seeing as all we had in the world was eachother, Jake's two years older then me but it always seemed like so much more at first we didn't really get along but now we are insepreble, he tried so hard to draw all the attention to himself when Billy was looking for someone to fight.
Because of everything we had been through Jake was extremely protective of me, which meant any friend that I made he found a way to make them go away so it was always just the two of us but i no its just because it was better that way, he says all the time "Everyone's just fake Isabella, they'll just hurt you in the end and I'm not letting anyone hurt you shorty" he was only doing it because he loved me so much and he couldn't stand to see me go through anymore pain, up until Sam left he and I were just friends but it all changed one night after Billy returned home completely wasted after being gone for three days. he came after me straight away since I was the easy target, I had noticed he had been steering clear of Jake lately, he was growing very big very fast and it was not hard to tell that billy was becoming slightly intimidated by Jake . like usual he was being completely insane. He accused me of stealing money that I know he had just spent while he was drunk, but before I could move he grabbed me throwing me into the book shelf I shielded my face as I saw him reach for the glass vase to hold it over me. I felt the glass break and pierce through my skin. The deep cut came from in my hair down the side of my neck and scattered on to my back. I held the back of my neck screaming in pain on the floor surrounded by broken glass, but as I waited for the next blow to come, I opened my eyes to see if I should be shielding myself from him bit instead I saw Jacob standing over Billy's passed out body.
With a huge frying pan in his right hand. He scooped me up and took me to his friend Embrys garage and had him get supplies. He did everything he could to get the glass out and clean it up.
patching it up as best he could with butterfly stitches but but he was no doctor and it left my back and neck covered in horrible scars. But hospitals were out of the question. The stories we had heard about foster homes...well better the devil you no. Besides we knew we'd be split up. All we had was each other now.
When we arrived home that night billy was gone. It was the first night we slept in the same bed. It was more for safety and comfort than anything else, but we never slept apart again. Its not a normal relationship and it probably is built on the wrong kind of love but he's my everything now. It was just another way of keeping him close so another person didn't have a chance to leave me.
So we kept our secrets to ourselves and carried on like everything was normal. The people who did notice seemed to turn a blind eye to it all. Billy was once a well respected man, and there loyalty seem to lie with him.
Evey now and then we would have to convince Billy to help us keep up appearances but we needed help from him less and less, which was lucky because the insane bastard was no real help.
Jake left school as soon as soon as he was old enough to get a job, but i was stuck with it. Almost a year after jake left I was moved out of the school on the reservation and started at the school in forks because they said it could accommodate me better. They told me over and over how it was because I was smart they wanted me to have every advantage and forks high had a advanced science and math program. Jacob insisted that I go to the school in forks because I was to bored in class all the time and he knew it was a waste of my time. I hated going there every day, I didn't talk to any one , not that any one bothered trying to talk to me. Now that Jake had his license he drove me to and from school most days.
I got into the Ute and waited for him to get his stuff for work, he jumped in and slammed the door behind him. "what's your problem today then?" he asked rather coldly
I shook my head in an instant not wanting to make his mood any worse "nothing I'm fine" he sighed and I could tell my jumpiness made him feel bad. "sorry Isabella, I'm just in a shit of a mood, Billy that asshole took the last of the money I had stashed with him. But don't worry OK, I'll sought it out today......maybe the boss will give me an advance or something...." he kept rambling on thinking out loud. I wasn't worried , Jake always found a way to make sure we had what we needed even if we had to lie, cheat and steal to do it.
By the time we approached the drive way to the school car park my mood had gone from bad to worse. I slouched deep into my seat and sighed shaking my head to myself and muffling off a few four letter words to help me relieve some of my anger about spending the next eight hours with a large group of people who ignore me and I'm pretty sure hate me. Jake attempted to parked the big old truck but we bounced back when the front tires hit the gutter. I didn't react to the jolt I just kept staring down at my old sneakers and my old faded jeans with a rip in the right knee, I frowned harder looking down at them, I wonder how much worse things could get. "hey" Jake's chipper voice caught my attention and I turned to look at him. "cheer up" I just stared at him and didn't say anything "c'mon Isabella , smile. I hate leaving you here every day with that look on your face" " I hate it here" I huffed and looked back down at my shoes.
"Baby don't worry everything will be OK soon, when you finish high school and get a really really generous scholarship we will both be old enough and have enough to leave and do what ever we please" I always took these opportunities to try to bargain with him, "Or... I could just leave and get a job like you and we both no we could really use the money and then we wouldn't have to hang around here for another two years" Jacob rolled his eyes and leaned across me to push open my door "have a good day Isabella" I snatched my bag from under my feet and dragged it up pushing my body out the door slamming it behind me. I turned to give him one last dirty look for leaving me in this social hell but being the smart ass that he is he just gave me a huge sarcastic smile as the car roared to life and he waved his hand at me like an idiot "learn something for me baby" I didn't move or respond to him, I just glared at him as he drove away. As his car disappeared from my vision the sound of the bell forced my eyes closed and I took a deep breath and exhaled it harshly then turned to face my doom. I was in all the advanced classes and my English teacher told me I have read more books this term then he did in his second year of college, school was easy, as far a the work in fact I was incredible bored ,but I could handle being bored, I looked over at Jessica struggling to learn the stupid book and rubbing a hole into a temple trying to get it through her thick blond head ,yeah I can handle being bored. It sounds really mean but i love to finish my work early just so I can watch Jessica to scrape together the answers. Mean, I no, but you have to understand I don't have allot to do and besides..she's a total bitch. The school was not very big so this meant I had almost all of my classes with Jessica and her clan of barbie dolls. They constantly made fun of me and played tricks on me anything to try to make my days at forks high school as shitty as humanly possible. Lunchtime was probably the worst. I sat at a table completely alone and stared out the window or reading a book waiting for time to pass so I could get out of this hole. I could see them all out of the corner of my eye whispering and pointing , I don't understand how someone who does nothing to draw attention to herself and just tries to stay out of everyone's way; could be the topic of so many of there conversations like seriously...what is it about me that they just hate? I no it's nothing I have done because I have done nothing to them EVER.
I soon realized why they were laughing and pointing when I ran my fingers through my hair to find I had been hit with a huge spit ball and it was tangled into my hair. I listened to them laugh as I removed it from the strands and threw it on the ground and wiped my hand with my napkin shaking my head but then I just leaned back in my seat and continued to keep my back to them. After having a empty milk box thrown at my head and just being happy it was empty the bell finally rang and it was time to go to class and usually I would be happy about this but I had to go to photography class and even though I loved photography , I hated mike newton and he pestered me every class. I was happy when I walked into the class early and Mr Adams my teacher told me I could go into the darkroom and finish my photos. I shuffled as fast as I could across the hall to the darkroom before mike got to class, and just hope he thinks I'm away today or something. I loved developing my own photos , everyone else used digital but there was something neat about doing it like this, kinda like hand made photos. I smiled at the thought as I stared down at the photo of Jacobs bare back as he laid in the sun on the beach I smiled to myself at how gorgeous his skin looked on the sand and I would love to show him and the photo off to someone but no one else would be able to see the beauty in this photo of him asleep in the sand they would only see the scars that trailed over his back down his arm up his neck, they would only see the victim of horrible child abuse not the one second of peace during the tornado that was his life the second I was lucky enough to catch with a camera. that was how I thought of Jacobs life. As if it was a tornado. He was always surrounded by devastation and ruin, his heart was shattered and there was no way to truly fix him the damage was far to severe but in this photo I could see my Jacob, soft and sweet.
I heard I quiet creak but ignored it and continued to hang the photos up then I knew he was in here. I felt a sick turn in my stomach and before I could turn back from the bench his arms were trapping me and he had me pressed up against the bench "mike I have to get to my next class" I tried to sound as strong as possible but it still came out weak and choky. He pressed his body closer to mine so that I couldn't turn then he used one hand to move the curls from my neck and tuck them behind my ear "we have a few minutes" he whispered into my neck teasingly "no really I have to go" I pushed his arm out of the way and moved as fast as I could to get away from him but he just laughed and smacked my ass as I moved away from him to get out of the room that now seemed to be suffocating me. As I burst out of the door and all but ran down the hallway to math. I sat In my usual seat at the back of the room and tried to stop shaking, thankfully no one sat near me or looked in my direction for long because I'm sure I looked like a scared idiot right now. Mike started out slow putting his sly moves on me when I first started at forks high school and after the first ass grab I explained quite confidently that my boyfriend will beat the living shit out of him if he kept going and one day mike decided to corner me and try to run his hand up my top and when I Jacob found out on his own from a work friend it turned my world upside down and actually tore us further apart and well, let's just say it was a few weeks before I had to worry about mike....bones heal slow. But I didn't no that mikes father was a police officer and in his eyes his son was a saint and Jacob was just a troubled young man from a bad family with an even worse criminal record...and that's how mike won. I can't say a word about him being an asshole because there is no way I can stop Jacob from beating mike to a bloody pulp and Jake has so many charges against him that one more could mean.....that I'd lose him and I just couldn't risk that. So I shut up and just beared it all and by doing so probably saving my life and jakes.
The bell for the end of the period went of and thankfully I had stopped shaking enough to face Jake.
As soon as I left the front door to the school I could see Jake leaning shirtless up against the truck. He was soaking in sweat and covered in dirt and to top it all of he had a nice big scratch that was dripping blood running down his right cheek. I smiled down at him and he grinned back. I jogged down the stairs trying not to look like I was in an enormous rush to get to my boyfriends side (even though I kind of was) , Jake pushed his body of the car when I was close "hey baby, how was your day" just as I was ready to answer Jake, mike strode with his head high behind Jacob winking at me and all I could do was think about how easily I could get Jacob to kill him. I shook my head at Jake "come on let's just get out of here" I said as I made my way into the truck "so...that good ha?" Jake giggled at my grumpy mood. " yeah Jake it was just freaking awesome" I said sarcastically to him. But sarcasm was always a mistake with Jake because you always get it right back with a vengeance. "Yeah! That's great babe did you make it to the pep rally...., oh what am I saying....as if there would of even been a pep rally with out you".....see what I mean, he goes way over board but I no it's just to make me smile. I no a big part if him wanted me to quit school and run away with him but he always said that he Just couldn't waste me like that. I deserved to go to college apparently , like it would matter if I got in. Even with a scholarship I still need money we don't have and even if we did have it, we really need it. Jake glared at everyone at the high school, even the pretty girls who smiled at him. He just seem to have no real time for anyone but me. Occasionally he would hang around his friends from the reservation but that was rare. I worried that even when Billy wasn't there that Jacob hated leaving me home alone in case he returned. It was understandable but still no way to live. It felt sometimes like his whole life revolved around me , I mean look at him, driving a shitty truck to and from a crappy job as well as driving me around and making sure were fed, clothed, and looked after I mean jeez...all I have to do is go to school and I complain every step of the way but not Jake , I looked down at his holey boots and once again decided to stop spreading my bitchy mood.
"well isabella what has you all cheery today, ....bitches on your back?"
"ugh" I shook my head trying to lighten myself up and get over it "screw them, tell me about your day" Jacob eyed me suspiciously for a moment but then took full advantage of the opportunity to tell me about his day , I let him ramble the whole way home, I was glad to hear the happiness in his voice. It seemed like it was impossible to make Jake happy, it was like he was always on edge just waiting for someone to come along and make things worse then they already are, waiting for Billy to come back to forks again ruin our lives leaving us with nothing but new scars. We always got quiet when we started to pull into the reservation for just that reason. We had a way of doing everything. First was to take the back streets so that when we got to our place no one could see us and we could check to see if Billy came home while we were out. Then we would leave the truck hidden and close to the road. Once we were inside it was a complete lock down but that was just to give us a what Jake called a "heads up" to get out before he got in. I no this probably all seems a bit extreme to some but it was the only way we knew to keep safe. We could take the risk and just live normally but I couldn't bare to see us both like that again.
As we stopped at our usual spot to leave the truck I remembered the last time Billy left. He showed up in the middle of the night completely wasted but Jacob and I made the mistake of falling asleep with the radio blasting in our bedroom and we didn't no he was home until he kicked open our bedroom door. He stumbled around our bed demanding his money ( meaning our money) "get out of bed boy.....NOW... and you Isabella get up and cook me something to eat" he yelled slurring all of his words along the way. I wasn't like Jacob , I was completely horrified of Billy and as soon as he ordered me to do something I did it. I tried to get up of the bed to go for the door to get into the kitchen before he started to get into more of a rage but Jacob reached out and wrapped his arm around my waist , pulling my back into his chest "NO" Jacob yelled violently "GET OUT BILLY...I'LL GET YOU SOME MONEY BUT YOU HAVE TO LEAVE" Jacob sounded so strong and confident and yeah maybe even a bit freaking scary but to me he mostly just sounded crazy and really stupid. I clung to him tightly waiting to hear billy's reply to Jake's outburst. He waved his arm around "WELL HURRY UP" I couldn't believe it, Billy seemed almost intimidated. Jake got up of the bed and started to walk over to the dresser and as soon as he pulled open the top draw to get his wallet out it was over in a few seconds. Billy came up behind Jake faster then I thought he could possible move in his current state and punched Jake right in the back of the head before I could scream to warn , Jake's head went forward hitting the dresser and he collapsed unconscious into the floor. But before his body could even hit the ground Billy began beating Jake's limp body. I lept of the bed at him and began hitting him over and with my tiny fists but it only took a second before everything went black.
When I woke it was still dark.
For a second I was somewhere else. I could see a window, I didn't remember it but I knew I was meant to climb in it. When I did it was so dark I couldn't see but I knew where to go, like the foot steps were built in, like even if I didn't remember where I was they did and then led me to this gloriously soft mattress with fluffy pillows and a big warm blanket and as soon as I layed down I felt an arm cover me with the blanket and a warm body press closer to me so much that I felt connected to it and with that I felt safe but as my eyes closed in that room they opened in another and I was still in the bedroom on the floor facing Jake. I panicked and reached out to him taking his hand in mine "Jacob, Wake up" I almost cried out. As well as being incredible worried about Jake i could barley move because of the pain that pulsed through my body.
Jakes eyes blinked opened in the same terror they shut in and instantly he tried to get up. "Nooo stay down " I whispered as calmly as possible but he didn't need much convincing he dropped back onto the cold floor boards holding his body but then his eyes looked at mine "Are you ok Isabella" he asked reaching over to me and then his face became sad as he inspected me "I need to kill him" he whispered but the rage I could hear in his voice was shadowed by his own pian.
"Do you think he's gone?" I said weakly Jake nodded and stroked the hair off my face. I felt a few tears escape as I looked at him
"I'm sorry I left the radio on" I sobbed out but Jake shook his head and shifted his body closer to mine even though I'm sure it hurt to do "it's not your fault Isabella"
"you told me to turn" i choked but Jake cut me of again "No...we don't blame each-other OK. Were a team. We both no who did this to us. OK." I nodded agreeing "OK, come sweetheart let's get off the floor and get into bed" and even though Jacob was beaten up worse then me he lifted me off the ground and we went back to sleep in the hopes this could all just be a bad dream.
But it wasn't and when we woke up we walked through the house to find we had been robbed by our "father" we both looked around the torn apart house and then at each other "Huh.." was all we said and then as if we could read each others minds our eyes lit up and we both moved as fast as we could to the kitchen to find it to had been pulled apart and then we both dropped to our knees when we realized he had found it....our savings stashed under the lose floor board.
And that's why when we get money we burry it under the house now.
"Eat Isabella" my memories were paused at the sound of Jake's voice. I realized I hadn't eaten a bite, I had just been moving everything around with the fork. "what's up Isabella you've been quiet all afternoon. I think I like it better when your yelling at me, just tell me what I did and I'll apologize" it made me giggle "sorry I'm just tired. I really need a good night sleep." he raised his eyebrow at me "Really I haven't had a good nights sleep in days and it's making me grumpy, nothings wrong I promise" I added before he started to worry. "OK..well lets get an early night tonight. Oh and before I forget I got some extra work next weekend on Saturday it's only a few hours and its in town so I could just drop you off at the library while I do the job. That cool?" He said eyeing my reaction to being dumped in town all Saturday.
"yeah for sure that's fine." I agreed with a smile , Jake had been trying to get week end work for awhile to help us so the least I could was spend my Saturday at the library so he can work without having to worry about me being home alone.
It was nice going to bed early.
Jake Brought the TV in and put on a movie then we cuddled up to each other and talked about nothing imp-articular , until he told me about how Paul; his best friend wanted him to go over to his place and hang out with the boys, I insisted that he go and have some fun; I mean Paul did live on the reservation too, what could possible happen to me?. it wasn't long before I was beginning to fall asleep. Just as I started to slip into a dream I was woken by the shift of Jacobs body beneath me. The sudden movement startled and I clung tightly to his body and look around the room frantically for any sign of danger "babe it's fine. I'm just turning the TV off. Everything's OK" he braced my shoulders rubbing my arms soothingly. He leaned out the bed and turned the TV off then he slid back into bed close to me. I fell asleep listening to him tell me about how I was safe and how one day soon this would all just be a bad memory. It did help me to fall into a nice deep sleep for the first time in days but only because the feelings of safety made me remember the window I climbed into when I was unconscious. The luxurious bed and angel in it that said nothing but made my heart swell with love like never before and that gave me the sweetest dreams uninterrupted by my world.
The next day at school was pretty average. Everyone was talking about the two new boys that were starting tomorrow. It was pretty exciting event to hear of new students especially in a school this small. I could care less. It was just two more people to torture me. But at-least it gave everyone something else to focus on. I sat at my lunch table alone as usual not looking directly at the table to see the fresh slander of my name on it by the other intelligent students. The first few classes were uneventful and i was grateful but I knew that I had a long afternoon ahead of me.
I slowly made my way to the hallway to head to class when the bell went. I dragged my feet the whole way to science. I didn't mind science it was one of the few classes where I was left alone , everyone else in the class had a lab partner but me. The teacher always offered to join me up with one of the other groups, but never pushed it when I refused seeing as I was already way ahead of the class but when I finally arrived to class Mr miles walked over to my desk handing me back homework he had graded. "your a bit late miss swan" he said softly so no one else herd. "sorry sir" I never tried excuses, I think that's why the teachers liked me, I don't think it even had that much to do with the grades, I think it was mostly because I had a bullshit filter, unlike every smart ass student here. I didn't feel the need to piss every teacher here off like every student here either. How could I be a bitch to the teachers when I could see in there eyes they hated this school as much as me. Mr miles began to stroll away from my desk after shooting my a half smile but then he turned back to look down at me, letting his glasses slide down his nose "oh and Isabella starting tomorrow you will have a lab partner, there is a new boy starting and" then my bullshit filter was temporarily turned off as I pleaded with him to put him with one of the other teams , that he would hold me back, I had a thousand reasons why he shouldn't be with me but Mr miles simply said that he was a very bright boy who wouldn't hold me back. I frowned through the rest of the class. I stared at the empty spot next to me and frowned even more when I realized I wouldn't be able to put my bag on the empty seat any more, or spread my books all over the desk...I wouldn't be able to be left the hell ALONE. after hearing my horrible news I walked even slower to my next class but as I approached the door to gym I looked up to see Jessica and all her bimbo friends hanging of mikes arm laughing hysterically at him and with out thinking I just kept walking right past them to the door that led to freedom. So I escaped and ran of the school grounds and out of the school car park. The adrenalin did pump a bit when ever I skipped class not that it was something i did often but the rush it gave made it well worth it. I had never been caught and could always cover it up with a well written letter sighed by Jacob who wrote just like Billy. I walked into town stopping only to treat myself to a smoothie and ice-cream cone then I walked to the construction site Jacob was working at. I hated it when Jake started this new job in town. Usually he built houses but the company he worked for got hired to build a commercial coffee shop but right where my favorite little book store was,I was absolutely furious...that was until I saw the difference in his pay check and then all the extra week end work had definitely made our lives easier so I very quickly jumped off the moral high ground and on the Starbucks bandwagon.
I pulled myself up into the tray of our truck and watched Jake on the roof shirtless moving planks of wood around and hammering stuff in...it was pretty hott. Jake stood up wiping the sweat dripping from his face with his shirt that had been hanging out of his back pocket. He yelled out to one of the older guys on the ground, I can only assume what he said was builder code of some kind because I didn't really get any of it. Jake must of seen me out of the side of his eye because his face light up and he looked over to me flashing his big toothy smile "hey shorty" he nodded to another one of the boys standing in the frame with him who waved and nodded back. Jake climbed down and strolled over to me. As he approached I extended the arm with the cold smoothie in it , he took it straight away gulping it down. He jumped on to the tray with me. He rocked his body into mine nudging me "you ok?" he asked softly after a few minutes of waiting for me to say something. I looked up at him and smiled reassuringly at him "Im good.....really, I just didn't want to deal with gym today" Jake didn't say anything he just nodded "let's get you home" he said as he leaned over and kissed my cheek, obviously knowing I was lying about being ok.
We went through our usual afternoon rituals and finally we were home and we could relax.
I sat in the old armchair doing homework and watching Jacob sleep on the coach. He snored lightly and looked so sweet laying there that I had to take a picture. I got my camera out and creepd over to him. You could still see his skin shining from sweat and he was covered in dirt. I smiled and began clicking away. He woke halfway through a photo with a bit of shock "wow paparazzi" he laughed as he waved his arm in front of his face, I giggled and put the camera down. he smiled up at me through sleepy eyes as I sat on the ground facing him as he rolled on to his side to look at me. He was silent for for a few minutes before reaching out to wipe the hair from my face and tap my nose with the tip of his finger "whats up with you lately half-pint." he whispered "Your so quiet all the time. You havnt yelled at me in weeks and your always hiding behind that camera" he said nodding in it's direction while letting out a big yawn, I shrugged and looked down not knowing what answer to give him to make him drop it. "hey, I'm just worried about you shorty" I nodded "I no your worried but you have no need to be, really I'm.." "Come on Isabella " his voice groaned in frustration with me. I looked into his eyes and like always I couldn't lie, not just because I sucked at it but because he knew me way to well and now he could see right through me. I gave up and sighed in defeat "it just feels like the universe is against me more than usual lately and it's kinda getting to me"
"what's going on Swan" he looked even more worried then before.
"it's nothing really, it's just allot of little things, most of them are stupid and not worth the worry" "like what?" Jacob asked immediately . "well....as of tomorrow I get a brand new lab partner in science."
"seriously?...that sucks shorty, no wonder your pissed off" I smiled to myself ,only Jake would get it. he looked at me intensely for a moment, "Isabella.....I was thinking maybe instead of going out with the boys tomorrow I'll just stay home with you"
I hated it when he did this. Like I can't handle being alone for a few hours alone. I hated feeling like I needed to be babysat. I just stared at my camera acting like I didn't care; not wanting to argue. He rolled his eyes at me.
"I've gotta do some overtime tomorrow anyways, doesn't look like Roy will show up and we really gotta get a move on if were ever gonna finish this job" he looked away from me and back to the TV, "I'll pick you up from the library at six, so be out the front ready at six" I decided not to fight with him over how he just spoke to me like a child. I knew he was just tired from work, I mean he's a kid doing the work of a man. I got up and went into my bedroom for a minute to be alone. I was useless at trying to fight with Jacob, I worried privately worry to myself allot about how his temper was getting worse, but it was out of my control, And it seemed like maybe men were just like this. Behind all the bullshit and sweet nothings they were just assholes waiting to show there true colours. I saw Jacob out of the corner of my eye staring at me and then looking towards the kitchen...I knew what these looks meant.
I cooked a quick dinner and finished my homework and that's when the boredom set in, i told Jake I would get an early night but there was no way I could sleep. I was still a bit grumpy from school and jacob. I decided I wanted to go for a walk but it was really late and Jacob had been asleep on the couch since he finished dinner and I wasn't going to wake him. i thought about not going anywhere but it just seemed silly. I should be able to go for a walk if i want. With that i walked off out the frount door grabbing my jacket. Once outside i started to wonder around our lot, eventually i made my way over the garage and saw my old rusty motorbike. Jake had thrown it together for me when we were younger. I wondered if it would start? but then smiled to myself... I decided to wheel it out of the junk filled space and take it for a ride. I filled it up and walked the old beast over to the road. I felt stupid for walking it all the way to the road before seeing if it would start but a big part of me wanted to have an adventure by myself, well kind of more like I wanted to do something with out Jacob. I felt mean thinking it but sometimes it was as if I never left the house with out him. It actually gave me a bit of a rush, like I was doing something bad by going for a ride on my bike. I started the bike when I knew I was far enough away that the sound wouldn't wake him. I smiled when the bike roared to life, never once really doubting it wouldn't start .
I jumped on and took off, way too fast down the dirt road that would Lead me out of la push. I felt free. It was SO odd. Why did I feel so free. Unless I was a prisoner.
I was reckless on the bike and paid no real attention to anything except the feeling of the wind running through my hair and down my neck as it hit my cheeks. There was only one place I wanted to go. I realized I was already heading in the direction of his house. I turned down my fathers old road that was surrounded by nothing but Forrest until you found his old house buried in the woods.
The moon filled the sky and lit up the old white house as I approached it.
My heart always sank when I would creep back here, always alone, always dreaming.
I stopped the bike and pushed it over to the side of the house and used it to boost my way through the window with the broken lock that led me into the kitchen.
I smiled as my feet hit the ground. I liked that the window was still broken and that I had to put my foot in first and use it to search for the edge of the breakfast bench to stand on while I jumped in. They were the only things that ever stayed the same. It comforted me.
I wanted to get inside as fast as I could, I had seen a huge wolf around her a lot when I was younger and it scared the shit out of me. It was huge and it just starred at me as if it was thinking of all the ways it could kill me. I always ran when I saw it and Jacob never believed me that I saw it. He just always said I shouldn't be wondering around anyway, I guess some where along the way I listened because I never went anywhere.
The house was thick with dust and cobwebs, and it was on it's way to collapsing. I' wonder why they don't just knock the old thing down' i thought, but i was happy they didnt, i dont no what id do with out this connection to him.
i walked slowly through each room running my fingers over things I remembered him touching. Tears would always fall helplessly from my eyes without any warning as the few small memories I had would flood back and hit me like a tsunami.
I could sit in here for hours and hours. Just to feel like I'm still with him, like I still had my happy life...before everything went horrible wrong. I found myself just staring into the darkness of the old house. I wondered if I looked crazy sitting here like this. I wondered if anyone who wasn't crazy would have a problem sitting here in this old dark house. Just then I heard a large smash that had me on my feet in a second. In an instant I was panicking and scolding myself for being so stupid to come here alone late at night. What was I thinking. The sound was coming from outside but that just made me feel trapped...surrounded. I looked around for any object I could use as a weapon. I saw a thin long pipe on the ground and quickly shuffled over to grab it. I was sweating and shaking uncontrollable and I could feel the tears of terror hitting my cheeks. But I didn't stop to think. I just acted.
All I wanted to do was get out of the house. It was irrational. I should of just stayed calm in the LOCKED house where I was safe but like always when I felt like I was in danger...I started to feel like I was suffocating and trapped. The walls already started to close in on me and the thought of being stuck in here outweighed my fear of the noise outside. I began climbing back out the window I came in, knowing my bike was below it. I moved way to fast considering how shaky and horrified I was but I couldn't help it. I lowered my feet out the window first but started to lower my body out way to fast and my feet that were barely touching the seat of the bike lost balance. 'great' I thought as I found myself falling harshly into the hard ground. Knocking my head on an old flower pot on the ground as I crashed into it.
'Bell wake up'
The voice that sang into my unconciousness was the missing piece to my soul.it was beautiful . It was unfamiliar but at the same time it reminded me of my deepest deams. Like the house did it stung me. The way my name sounded as it fell from his mouth as if he had been saying it for an eternity. It made me ache, but in a way I have not felt in years.
'Bell! C'mon wake up....your really freaking me out'
He sounded scared and concerned for me. I gained back some strength and used it to force my eyes open to see if this angels voice was only in my mind.
I opened my eyes to see him. Hovering over me horrified.
He was bigger... obviously
He looked like a man. All the traces of the little boy I knew were all gone. But at the same time still there. His smile was the same. His voice was the same too but deep and stronger and it held a dark edge to it. His bronze hair flowed wildly on his head in thick locks.
I couldn't breathe or talk or move.
i believe iI actually felt my heart stop.
I just layed there looking up at him panting trying to catch my breath. But the more I looked up at him the more I just freaked out. Breathing just got harder and harder.
I didn't no what I was supposed to do when the only person alive that Ive wanted..no...craved, was right here, hovering over me. He stared into my eyes just as shocked as I was that I was staring up at him. I could feel my lip tremble with my body and I started to sob looking up at him. I wanted to wrap my arms around him and tell him every horrible thing that had happened since he left and tell him to fix it. I wanted to start hitting him, and demand to no why he just left me here....why he just left me here to rot. I couldn't stop crying, I still couldn't breathe properly or stop my body from the shaking in a way that made the world appear to be falling apart .His look of shock turned into something else, and I could only watch as his face crumbled and his hand slowly started to reach out to touch my face. I watched as his fingers that were only inches from me and the panic I was already in took over. For reasons unknown to me I used my feet to shuffle my body back as fast as I could to put distance between us, immediately his hands raised in front of him showing he meant no harm. I could see my whole world in his eyes. Everything I lost was there in front of me. I was so used to having nothing that the realization of having everything .....completely terrified me. I just looked at him shaking in the dirt. I couldn't control myself and I'm sure I looked insane but there was just no containing the hysteria.
He was gorgeous. I looked at him before me on his knees, his hands still raised in front of him like a criminal approaching a police officer, showing he's not armed.
The moonlight hit his face in a way that if I wasn't crying before it surly would of started when I saw his perfect features and glorious lips. His brow was creased and he looked at me so intensely that I started to wonder if he knew what it meant to me that he was here, did it even matter to him.
'Bell' he started to whispered to me sweetly and softly, but the pain in his voice was obvious.
"what are you doing here" the words came out in a horrible pained sob and every word shook with my body. I don't no why I said it but I did.
He looked extremely shocked by my words, they forced his brow into even more of a mess and it seemed for a second like he might start to laugh, like the answer was so obvious that there should be no need for me to ask. He shook his head and lowered one of his hands down slowly the other racked slowly but almost violently through his hair, pulling at it.with his hand tangled in his hair be began looking at me with a deep sadness in his eyes that forced my harsh breathing to finally hault when i saw him start to answer.
"I...I came back for you Bell...., like I promised I would" he said with a scratchy voice. I watched as his eyes became red and glassy followed by a single tear falling down his cheek and the fingers caught in his hair started to shake. Never before did I feel what it was like to want someone.
I didn't no what to say or do...i just scrambled to my feet crying louder and louder moving hysterically fast to my bike.
He stayed frozen on the ground still staring at me, no doubt as shocked by my reaction to his words as i was. It wasn't until i was on the bike next to him trying to start it that he raised off the ground turning to face me. The bike roared to a start.
"bella please..." his voice raised to take over the sound of the motorbike
I looked at him shaking my head, realizing that I just couldn't handle it. This was all just too much for me to handle and i was assured of this as i felt that my face was soaked in tears as I frantically tried to wipe my face to clear my eyes so I could see the road in front of me. He took one step closer to me holding his hands out to me pleadingly.
"please just stop and talk to me bell....you can't just leave"
but before he could finish the sentence I was taking off out of the driveway. I sped home more recklessly then before. I was panicking and there were a few very close calls but I finally arrived to the dirt road that would lead me back to the reservation. I got close enough to the house to start pushing the bike. I decided to just lean the bike up against the back wall of the garage and hurry into the house to face Jacob and the surly psychotic state he would be in. I got to the back door and and tried to steady my shaky hand as I placed the key into the lock. As I heard it click open I took a deep breath and wiped my face with clenched fist. I tried desperately to calm down but it wasn't going to happen. I shook my head violently and opened the door to find.....silence.
He layed there on the coach still fast asleep. I used my head and decided to turn the lights off. I caught a glimpse of the clock before I flicked the last switch off and realized I had been gone for almost three hours, the house was finally pitch black and I was ready to try to get him to bed like every other normal night with out him seeing the state I was in, I could just leave him there but that would just bring up more questions later, better to just do everything like normal. I walked over to Jacob and shook him awake. He looked around at the dark room still half asleep.
"c'mon let's get to bed" I whispered.
He nodded and quietly lifted himself up and started to walk into the bedroom, I followed him wordlessly, I don't no why I wasn't telling him what happened. I just acted like it was just a dream or something but the lump on my head told me it was real.
He collapsed onto the bed and moved over holding the blanket up for me to crawl into but I just stood there staring at him. He just layed there looking at me in the dark through sleepy eyes, waiting for me to just get into bed with him like it was just another night, like I wasn't just inches from Edward Cullen.
"I..." what can I say. I couldn't tell him. Jake was so jealous and he wouldn't understand the way I felt for Edward. The way my body, heart and soul ached for him every day since he'd left. I didn't even no that person I saw tonight, not like I no Jacob inside out but in another way I knew him better. Edward spoke as if he never left me, like he knew me. "Bell it's fine. Just go to sleep" Jake moaned out barely awake, he was used to me getting nervous before bed, he knew there was always a part of me that was waiting for Billy to return and tear my world apart again.but Billy was the farthest thing from my mind at the moment.i didn't no what to say or do so I simply nodded and climbed in next to him. He didn't say a word once I climbed into bed he just wrapped his huge arm over me and with in seconds he was snoring with out even realising that my heart was going a hundred miles a minute and i still had tears falling down my face uncontrollable , I was relieved i had gotten away with it, with out him finding out what had happened .
I layed there unmoving for what felt like hours despretly trying to calm down. My body ached from hyperventilating and crying. It was all a mess in my head.
Like it was a tornado that just ripped through my life and now I have to go through the rubble and try to salvage what i can. I tried to wrap my mind around it....but when I was remembering everything that happened suddenly all i could think of was his face.
His lips, his hair and skin.....and his eyes...the way they looked at me. He looked deep into my soul. All I could think of was how he hovered over me, smelling like home in the deepest way possible..and his gorgeous voice the way he spoke..I froze.thinking of him calmed me but now that I was calm all I could think of was his voice and.....
"I...I came back for you Bell...., like I promised I would"
what the fuck was that supposed to mean. I was becoming furious with him the more the words ran through my mind over and over. I mean how dare he just say that. Who the hell does he think he is to just walk in to my life after almost six years.
I wanted to curl up into a ball and just die. In one single moment my in-tire life changed and I was completely unprepared for any of it. I didn't no what I was supposed to do when he said he came back for me, what I was supposed to tell Jacob but most importantly I didn't no why I felt this strongly for someone who I didn't even no. Why did he matter to me at all. When ever I played over him coming back in my head....well lets just say it never went like that. In my dreams I was confident and firm, I would demand answers. And make him unblock my lost memories. I never thought I would be fighting the urge to leap into his arms and hold him close. what was happening.
I mean, I was jakes girl...there was no question to that, but this wasn't about anything physical or sexual... It was coming from something inside of me. Something that tore at my insides and made me feel empty and alone... until i looked into his eyes. How could he make me feel like this, how could he make me feel whole again just by looking into his eyes.
I fell asleep from exhaustion dreaming about him.
my eyes snapped open in the very early hours of the morning.
"shit" I whispered; He was one of the new boys at school. I felt my face burn red. He was going to be there. I was so embarrassed I couldn't believe it, as if it wasn't bad enough that I made myself look like a total freak but now he gets to see an entire school that thinks I'm a freak.
I pulled the blanket over my face and layed there and died a little inside. It was definitely one of those end of the world moments that I've heard about normal teenage girls having over boys...I didn't realise that it actually would feel like the end of the world.
My eyes started to well up, and I quickly shook it off. If Jake woke and saw me crying it would start a hundred questions I didn't want to answer so I decided to get out of bed and shake it off. I slid out of bed and walked over to the dresser grabbing out a pair of Jeans and a sweater. After having a shower and spending an hour trying to get my hair under control I gave up on the mess of curls and walk away. I started to cook a big lot of eggs and bacon and put it on the table with a cup of coffee.
"Jacob Black, time to get up" I yelled out from the kitchen, I could hear him groan followed by the loud thuds of his feet approaching. He walked into the kitchen in nothing but his work pants and sat at the table. I was often taken aback by his huge form. It looked like he was out growing the house. It freaked me out a bit sometimes, I guess because in my head he was still a little boy and when I saw this giant before me it me to realize we weren't kids, we lost our shot. I drank a cup of coffee at the bench watching Jacob hover down his breakfast trying to listen to him babble on about work but I knew the time to leave for school was growing closer and the butterflies in my stomach seemed to be getting angrier and angrier.
"what's up" Jake asked curiously, I realized I was staring at the ground.
"huh" my head snapped up
"your blushing; why"
I shook my head angrily "maybe I should stay home today" I turned my back to him rinsing the pan and few other things surrounding the sink.
"no way Isabella, get your ass into that piece of shit truck. Cause your going girl" he chuckled out shaking his head.
"but...I" I tried to argue but he cutt me off again.
"TRUCK.YOU.NOW" his voice raised, I couldn't hear any mercy in his tone.
I knew I wouldn't get my way.
We didn't talk the whole way and when he dropped me off we didn't say goodbye. I slammed the door to the truck and stormed off into the school. Jacob would of thought I was trying to get away from him as fast as I could move my feet but truly I just wanted to get to the library and just hide in a dark corner, but well two birds one stone.
I just had to make it through the quad and I would be safe to hide but my life was not that easy.
I paused in the centre of the quad.
He walked gracefully through the crowd that stared at him, he seemed completely unaffected by all of there looks and whispers.
Then he stopped dead in his tracks and turned staring right back into my eyes through all the people passing between us.I pulled the small pile of text books I had been carrying to tightly to my body, so much that it hurt.
I could feel my cheeks becoming hotter and hotter. My eyes filled with tears by the simple sight of him and the overwhelming need to have him back, like I knew in my bones he was mine. As we stared at each other I remembered.... flashes of him and I. He was whispering in my ear making me giggle. Kissing my cheek and taking my hand in his. I remembered feeling important. I mattered to him, for reasons I would never understand.
It was like everything inside of me remembered him.
Like my heart remembered him.
I stared at him for a moment and started to build up courage. He looked at me willing me to come to him, probably because he thought if he came to me I'd run again.
But as I started to walk towards him, each step made my knees weaker and the pain in my stomach worse and after only taking a few shaky steps I felt a large jolt to my hip, Jessica and her band of bitches had come storming past me. Jessica had barged me with her elbow and as I fell onto the damp ground, scattering my text books I had been carrying. Instantly I heard hysterical laughing.
But not just by Jessica.
By everyone in the quad.
I realized mud was all down my jeans and I could feel it covering my face. I could feel the tears spilling out.
I wanted to scream.
To beat the crap out of her.
I wanted to kill her, but as I looked up to see her standing over me.
I said nothing.
She smiled as I desperately tried to get my books together. I took one look over my shoulder to see him before I fled only to see everyone still laughing but in amongst that Edward was trying to make his way through the swam of people.
I ran through the door and down the busy hall way to the girls toilets, locking myself in the closest one as i ran in. I couldn't help but hit my head over and over with my fists as i starred at my name and a thousand horrible things written about me. I hate it here. I hate it here. I tried to calm down but it was useless. "arrrrggghhhh" I groaned through my teeth.
Why. Seriously. I finally stopped crying and left the toilet to go to the sink and wash the mud off.
After I was looking as close to presentable as I could make myself I picked up my bag and books and started to walk out as the bell rang. I closed my eyes tightly before turning the handle.
Ok I can do this. Breathe Bell...just breathe.
I swung the door open and walked quickly make my way to science. I walked in to the class room with my head down. Luckily I was the first to arrive. I went straight to my seat at the back by the window and started to get my note book and pen out, then I shuffled through my text books but it wasn't there , everyone began walking in and taking there seats. I could hear the teacher talking, but I payed no attention. I was sure Jessica would be staring at me and I just couldn't face her. The thought that she was right there made me shake. I opened my bag to see if I had maybe put my science book in there. but nothing and before i realised what must of happened the book i had been searching for was slowly pushed in front of me. I looked up next to me. Edward stood right next to me, towering over me. He looked at me and forced a smile through his worried expression.
He then slowly and cautiously sat on the stool next to me, his eyes never leaving mine. I felt pathetic and humiliated...I was sure I still looked like crap and he would of heard everyone talk about me.
The shame took over and I looked down not wanting him to see my eyes well up and I was sure they would soon betray me and release the thousands of tears I was saving for home. I could feel Jessica staring at us, burning holes in me.
But I had already made the decision not to look anywhere near her seat or her band of bitches. I looked at my hands fidgeting on the table in front of me. I glanced over to see if Edward was still looking at me with the same compassion in my eyes that made me want to cry in his arms. But as I lifted my head to look at him I saw mike staring from the desk beside us. I felt surrounded. Trapped. But oddly safe.
Edward looked over to see what had caught my eye. To see Mike. Grinning evilly at me. He saw that Edward was looking but he just giggled to himself and looked back down at his book still smiling to himself. Edward looked back at me, but I didn't move. Then I felt it. I looked down to see his fingers softly laying on my tightly tangled hands.
"you OK bell" he whispered
But I didn't answer I just stared at his huge hand wrapped over both of mine. Right there on the desk for everyone to see.
"Bell are you hurt"
I didn't even no how to answer that.
Was I hurt?.
Yes. Deeply. Beyond repair.
I shook my head when I looked over to see him leaning closer to me. He looked angry,horrified. Worried. But mostly he just looked deeply sad.
"Page thirty four people" the teacher yelled out again, eyeing Edward and I.
Edward didn't seem to notice or care. I went to move my hands to open my book but his grip on them tightened slightly and I could feel his thumb lightly rubbing my hand soothingly. I felt my mouth drop open and I couldn't help but let out a shaky breath. He just starred deep into my eyes, like he was searching for something.
I couldn't help it and I looked over once more quickly to see if mike was staring. I hated Jessica to death but it was different with mike, he horrified me. I can not be sure how far he will try to take it with me each time. I can't really even tell if it's just a joke or a game to him, how he treats me, Just more proof to me that men are ass holes. Sometimes I wondered if the problem was with Jacob, kind of a fuck you to the guy who beat the shit out of him. But still I dread to think of how far he'd go if he got jealous of another guy showing any kind of interest in me. My eyes darted from Edward to mike a few times before I reluctantly pulled away from his soothing safe touch and opened my book. Edward looked at me for a few seconds before looking to his side. He stared at mike and for a second mike just stared right back at Edward with a filthy expression spread across his face. Edward looked back at me. He didn't seemed phased by Mike. He just stared at me confused. Like he was trying to put puzzle pieces together. Then he looked around the room and back to me. His expression changed again. He shook his head to himself and looked down at his book opening it. I wonder if he just caught on to the fact that being anywhere near me was social suicide. I shifted my body a bit to try to give him back the space he filled between us back but as soon as I did he moved his whole chair over close to me. Then he leaned back in his seat looking over my shoulder as I looked down at the text book. He still looked angry but I could see now that he wasn't angry with me. He leaned His body in to mine and reached in front of me, his body blocked my view of mike as he changed the page of my book, he scrolled through and stopped on page 34, and ran his finger down the page to where the teacher was reading from. It really was like he never left. I remembered him doing the same thing when I was younger and he saw me getting lost in day dreams. I couldn't help but look over at him leaning back in his seat, he smiled at me because he remembered it too. I weakly smiled back. I missed my friend. He kept smiling to himself through the anger and then let his arm rest on the back of my chair. He wasn't touching me but it still felt like he had his arm wrapped around me protectively.
Every now and then trough class I would feel him staring at me or touch me so lightly that I can't even really be sure if he was doing it.
The bell rang for lunch but neither of us moved as if we had an unspoken agreement to finally talk. In seconds the class was empty. Mike was the last to leave looking over his shoulder the whole time.I didn't think that Edward noticed him because he never looked at him as he moved from his seat.
"jelous ex?" he asked nodding in his direction and I'm guessing trying to break the ice. I shook my head in disgust "god no!" I whispered back.
"Are you sure you didn't get hurt earlier, I tried to.." he sounded almost guilty. But this had nothing to do with him. Jacob came into my head, then Billy , Mike and Jessica..he didn't need this. He didn't need my problems.
"look Edward, I..... you don't owe me anything, i mean... You dont no these kids. You should just stay away from me before..." I started to babble when his hand grasped my fidgeting hands again cutting me off, not that I could keep talking once I felt his touch, all I could do was stare at his fingers touching my hands
"I tried to get to you, but you ran off, I was worried about you" he paused looking at his hand on mine, covering them.
"I'm sorry Bell, I didn't no it was like this for you. I mean...why is it like this, you have to tell someone or let me..."
I shook my head looking at him seriously and he stopped talking
"you can't tell anyone anything Edward, you don't understand" I was becoming hysterical
"Then Explain it to me Bell....Because I don't get it. I mean what the fuck." his voice was soft but harsh. He sounded so frustrated. Worried.
"you wont understand" i sobbed out. I pulled my hands free from his and dropped my face into them wiping the tears violently away. But I left my face in them as my elbows leaned onto the desk. i felt my hair drop and fall in-front of my face.
"Bell.... Look at me" he sounded sweet and determined. But I didn't want him to look at me so I didn't move except to shake my head.
"Can you just drop it!" I huffed out, shaking on every word.
"OK Bell.. I'll drop it OK,for now" he whispered back. I felt his fingers run up my arm and onto my hands and slowly plying them of my face and back down to the table, he cupped my cheek and turned my face to his. His whole body was angeled to face me.
"I missed you Bell...Every day. Your all ive thought of, Ive felt sick since that night when, im so sorry, I no I promised...."
"do you mean when the police found me at your house and took me after the funeral?" I asked curiously. I had no idea what he was he was talking about.
He looked at me for a long moment.
"At my house? No that was long before..." he stopped, looking into my eyes. Searching hopelessly for an answer in my eyes.
"then when?" he looked so shocked and I understood it would be a surprise for him to find out how much of my childhood I'd lost.
He shook his head again never breaking eye contact.
"three years ago, almost exactly." I felt my mouth drop. I started to pant.
"Bell" he looked worried again.
three Years!!! That couldn't be. I mean I don't remember.... Then my life started to look more and more blank. I felt my bottom lip start to shake.
"Bell... Whats going on, It's me..Eddie"
. I wanted to run and hide. I could feel the walls closing in. But then he called himself Eddie, My chest tightened. It became impossible to breathe.I tried to do what I always did when I felt like this...run. In an instant I tried to take off but it was useless his arms tightened around my waist pulling me back into the place I have yearned for. I cried and cried into his hard chest, but I pushed him away after seconds. The way it sounded, it reminded me of his sweetness , his love..He was my Eddie, I remembered that much. This isn't ok, I'll ruin him, or he'll leave. The panic was overwhelming and forced my heart to brake to break, something that i thought was impossible, seeing as it wasn't whole to start with.
"Bell please tell me whats going on.." I pulled back slightly to look him in the eyes. I wanted some kind of explanation. Something. What happened.
"I can't remember. I've forgotten OK" I became frustrated and furious with my self, I grabbed on to his upper arms squeezing them. But he never looked away from me. His forehead was creased and his eyes were red and glassy, "what do you mean, you've forgotten me?" I could see he didn't understand, how could he, when even I didn't.
"Bell, what happend to you?." he whispered. Searching my eyes despretly again for the answer.
"I don't want to talk about any of this, besides you need to get to class Edward"
His face grew sadder when he realized what I this meant for me.
"You dont remember Charlie?" i closed my eyes tightly at the sound of his name out loud.
"I can't talk about this" I barely whispered still trying to breathe.
"Please just drop it" I scratched out. Shaking on every word.
The bell rang and I could hear the hallways starting to fill.
He braced my shoulders and pulled me back so that I was facing him.
"let's get out of here, me and you" I looked at him shocked.
"It's your first day...You can't just"
"Bell. I need to talk to you. It's been three years..." he stroked the hair from my face. At the feel of his touch I couldn't deny him anything. I laughed. And the sound lit his face up but he also pulled his hand from my face to my upper arm.
"I'm not trying too, I mean..." I could see the desperation in his eyes and I could feel his grip loosen.
"ok...let's go" I interrupted.
What was I thinking...oh yeah, I wasn't.
His face softened in to a sweet crooked smile. There were no words to describe it. Except perfect maybe.
His fingers twirled into mine and we looked at each-other and let out a giggle like...well, kids I guess.
We ran hand in hand down the hallways to fast, sliding on the slippery floors at the corners. It was fun. We burst through the double doors that would lead us out to the car park.
Edward dragged me along in to the lot, over to a shiny silver Volvo. He clicked the button and pulled the passenger door open for me. Once again i froze.
"Wow...is it yours"
He shrugged it off still huffing from the run.
"yeah. Its just a car. C'mon lets go" he waved his arm for me to get in. He seemed to not want to pay any attention to the car, so I went to hop in, but had to have one last look at him when I saw the leather interior.
He made his way to the drivers seat. I'd never been in a car like this. It was well...amazing. I sat still with my hands on my lap. I couldn't help but feel uncomfortable. I looked down at my shoes to see if I had gotten mud everywhere.
"Bell please relax....seriously it's just a car"
I tried to at least look relaxed slouching back in my seat slightly, it wasn't easy.
The car barely made a noise as he started it.It was nothing like the big old truck that turned heads when ever it was started, I didn't ask where we were going. I didn't really care. I just rested back on to the head rest and stared at him while he drove us out of town.He seemed so serious, he concentrated on the road and nothing else, he seemed to be having an argument with himself in his head, the way he ran his fingers through his hair with one hand while the other clutched the steering wheel tightly except his index finger witch seemed almost unattached to his tense body as it taped to the beat of the CD playing .It was obvious after a few minutes that we were going to Charlies house. We got to the dirt road and he looked over at me, I was staring at him still. I knew he was checking my reaction.
He finally pulled up near the dark old house.
We sat in silence for a long moment before he nodded to the meadow next the house. He got out of the car and he walked over to me as I got out. We strolled over still in silence. He sat on the soft grass under a big old tree. I stood over him looking down at him with the sun on.
"Your beautiful Bell. Just gorgeous."
I felt my cheeks burn as he looked into my eyes me with a perfect smile. He leaned forward and patted the ground.
"Sit with me."
I had to stop and think. I honestly didn't want to hurt anyone I just went with what my heart said to do. I hadn't really wondered what the next step would be, what he wanted from this. But I guess it didn't really matter right now because I couldn't help but sit down.
"Do you remember anything about us being here, when we were kids I mean?" he didn't waste time, I could see his curiosity about what happened. But I knew he was going to start asking questions that I didn't have answers too.
"Edward there's nothing. I just can't . "
"Why did you block everything out Bell." I just shook my head at his whispers because I didn't no why. Why would I?.
The only way this will work is if I get up right now and force myself to walk away from him. To make myself never look back, leave forks high and tell Jacob why, leave town even.
Anything I could do I should do it.
But I can't. My legs refuse to work , all I can do is sit here in this meadow by my fathers old house and let it happen. Look at him less then a meter away, shining in the sun, so bright it almost blinded me. I mean, why does he have to look like that.
"Tell me..." I said.Trying to snap myself out of my daze then realizing after speaking that I may need to clarify more. But I didn't.
"I don't know where to start, What do you want me to tell you" he said looking down for a long moment unsure of what to say.
"did we go we ever go to a lake" it was one of the few memories I had of when I was younger, if you could call it that. It was more of a flash of sitting on the water I don't know how possible in the sun with him laughing.
He half smiled and looked around for a minute as if gathering a memory.
"We all used to go camping every year. Your family and mine.
That was nice.
We went to this cabin by the lake all the time and it was big and it was sunny , open. We used to go fishing and there was this tyre swing that we all used to swing off into the water on. You and I used to swim to this barge in the middle of the lake. I remember us both sitting there in the with the sun beaming down on us. We could watch my brothers on the swing playing and we could look up on the hill and see our parents drinking and cooking on the barbecue in this big gazebo outside the cottage. You used to fish with me and one day you pulled in this huge fish and everyone on the side of the lake was screaming about how we were 'eating tonight' but you just looked at me and smiled before you let it go. We were happy all the time Bell. I could sit here all day and tell you a hundred memories of us being happy."
The moment I had been waiting for had arrived , I couldn't breathe. But not because I was panicking, but because as he told the story about the fish, I remembered the fish. I remember pulling it in on my hand line and how the line cut into my hands as I dragged in the massive fish. I remember Edwards big smile as he sat next to me.
"You said it was beautiful." I said smiling at him.
"You remember that." he said almost embarrassed.
"I remember feeling happy, because I knew you'd understand. I saw him in the water struggling to get free, sparkling in the sun.
It was beautiful."
I remembered almost everything about that day the more I focused on the details of it. I could feel my eyes well up and tried to breath slowly, wanting desperately not to look like a complete emotional wreck.
"What else do you remember Bell" the shiver ran again as he said my name. There were so many small flashes of nothingness that never made any sence to me. But these glimpses seemed fresh in his mind down to the smallest detail.
The one memory that had always dazed me was when I was maybe twelve, I woke in my room and I remember not being surprised he was there in the middle of the night. He just put his hand out and I smiled widely at the sight of him and took it eagerly. I looked at him sitting before me and all I could think about was the feeling of complete and utter enjoyment at the sight of him, overwhelming love and compassion for him being there.
"You came to my room one night, I remember, you were older and you stood over me and put out your hand, you had this cherky look on you face, like you could of burst into laughter and thats how I felt, i just dont remember why" I asked almost to fast to understand and sitting way to close.
"I remember. It was your twelve birthday. I woke you before the sun came up."
He smiled at me and looked into my eyes and I could see he was remembering the morning.
"How did you get here. I mean you say you came back to see me after you moved..how" I wondered if maybe his family made visits back that I don't remember but he smiled confidently at me and cheekily like in my memory.
"Yeah but, with who, how did you get to me"
"This is so weird telling you about this stuff. I mean, you were there, You don't remember Marcus." I shook my head. I didn't remember any Marcus..Ever.
"Xavier's well, friend that he made after me moved" I looked at him blankly and shook my head at him.
"Who's Xavier" I asked clueless. Now he looked even more stunned. I didn't see why these people were so important. His face suddenly became very understanding and slightly nodded to himself as if he just suddenly understood something.
"Xavier was our friend when we were kids and when I moved he helped you and I stay in touch. But then he moved and well, the kid changed allot. Very fast. I kept writing to him cause he's like one of my only friends and I just had to be on board for that crazy ass ride, I mean his letters. Just waiting to see what he was going to do next was pretty awesome. That's what he used to say about us." he shook his head and realized he was staring to babble.
"Well anyway Marcus was a, Well I guess an employee of Xaviers.I guess that's the right term and he trusted him, and he was right to, Marcus was great. Xavier told Marcus to catch a plane to Phoenix and pick me up and fly back so no one asks any questions, then we got in his car and drove to your house thats when I got you. Then Marcus drove us to this motel outside of town and took care of the arrangements at the front desk so no one would bother us. That's how we spent your birthday in a hotel room for the weekend. I remember There was a mini bar, it's actually the first time we got drunk." he laughed at the end. I couldn't believe that he went through so much just to be with me.
"You did all that for my Birthday." I asked almost skeptically.
"You told me you needed me to come and get you. So I found a way, Well Xavier did anyway...I needed you too, I needed to be with you"
Well. What do you say to someone who looks at you like that and tells you the story of how a twelve year old boy schemed his way across the country to get to me.
I wanted to remember all of this so badly and it seemed the more he spoke the fresher things seemed to become in my mind. As if he were opening a window to my memory that I had locked, that possibly only he had the key to open it. My mind raced more and more trying to pick which memory to ask about. I scanned and scanned and Charlie's face returned over and over. I didn't want to ask but at the same time I almost couldn't help myself.
"Charlie" I managed to let his name pass my lips with out the tears spilling out so I took another breathe and continued slowly. He looked at me carefully as if he could see that I could brake at any moment.
"He,....Did he used to spend allot of time with me?." I asked slowly and shaky.
"He did. When he wasn't at work he was with you. His whole world revolved around you Bell." He looked surprised i would even ask but I couldn't help but smile to myself at his reply. There weren't any flashes of my dad except for the last morning I saw him alive and I couldn't bring myself to ask. I became anxious trying desperately to think of something about him, no matter how small, but my efforts caused my hand to start to shake. I looked from my hands and became so incredible embarrassed when I saw that he was looking down at my hands that had become clenched into fists , soon he would see that all those kids at school are right, Ive lost it.
"He used to carry you on his shoulders...always. Everywhere he walked you were up there."
I smiled and let a tear escape as the memory I always had of flying through town while everyone waved suddenly became clear. I remembered.
I sat high up on his shoulders and felt ten feet tall while he walked through town paying bills and buying groceries. Then I remembered looking down at him and resting my head on his while I wrapped my arms around his head, hugging it from above, he would reach up and hold my hands while he walked, he was so horrified of me falling but I loved it up there and he knew it.
I choked on my breaths and shook more and more. I was happy but at the same time shattered. It may seem stupid to remember the top of someone's head and it be enough to make me cry. But it was the only part of him I had remembered in years. I couldn't believe I remembered being with him. I had spent years sitting and staring out my window just trying to remember his face but one conversation with Edward and I could almost feel his hands holding mine.
He was home.
His Shiny silver watch caught my eye and I saw that I didn't have long until Jacob would be finishing work. I huffed scrunching my forehead and looked around the meadow as if the thought of Jacob brought me crashing back down to earth.
"You have to go." he said looking over to the meadow where I was. But I couldn't answer, I didn't want to answer. I didn't want to leave. He was like this drug that brought the sun out and made the skies clear.
"Bell, I know I have no right to ask but are you and Jacob....Together ." he didn't look me in the eyes when he asked, he just kept starring at the ground. Preparing himself for the answer.
I didn't know what to say. I didn't want to be what I was anymore, I wanted to be Edwards again. Just from the small thing I remembered made my very core scream at me to hold on to him.
"Were just...Close, I don't no." I scrambled to answer, fidgeting with sleeve of my sweater.
"Bell, I don't want to start trouble for you really. Or for Jacob." I could tell when he said his name that he wasn't happy about it and for the first time neither was I.
"What do you want Edward." I asked trying to understand what I could possible have to offer someone so perfect.
"I just want you Bell. Any way I can get you. I just want you back, I want my friend back."
"OK." I answered with a whispered nod.
I starred at the sauce boiling in the pot and all I could think of was his lips and how they curved when he smiled and the tangled mess of bronze hair that fell over his face when he looked down. How I wanted to be with him.
"It's just fucking wrong, no matter how you look at it."
My head spun.
"What." I said totally freaked out as Jacob stood shirtless behind me, towering over me. Looking incredibly pissed off.
"Hank. He gave my Saturday shift to that new guy Shaun." he said rolling his eyes at my obvious cluelessness.
"That really sucks Jake." I said quickly turning back to the sauce boiling. I started to turn red and didn't want him to see. He had never lied to me or done anything behind my back. He left school to get a job and look after me, I mean I owe him everything and I was thinking about Edward Cullen like this. The guilt was overwhelming, all through dinner and watching TV I couldn't look at him. I was horrible. I could say over and over how nothing happened and we just talked. But is that really true when all I could think was that he was my missing link. That I understand now what it's like to really want something.
"C'mon Bell. Lets go to bed" he said after sitting infrount of the tv for hours not talking. But as I crawled under the blankets with him
I laid there in his bed with him wishing I was some where else. Wishing I was someone else.
I wonder sometimes if Jacob noticed me. I no when I'm obviously pissed off he worries and asks if I'm OK. But after all these years I doubted that he really knew me at all.
I waited for him to fall asleep before I really started to wonder what my next move would be. There were questions I wanted answers too and now I had someone to give them to me, to give me back my life.
But the idea that Jacob would find out kind of freaked me out. Ever since everything had happened with Mike, I started to question Jacobs trust in me. It was no surprise he had trust issues but what happened was completely out of line.
Jacob was working with Elliot Peterson building a house when Elliot started to brag about how his younger cousin was getting a lot of action in high school. That he saw him grab this hot girls ass in the car park and Mike said that she was one of his many girls that he calls when he has an itch he can't scratch, says her names Isabella.
Jacob knew mike was in my classes and knew I was the only Isabella in the area let alone the school and that was what killed it for me and jake.
He didn't pick me up from school that day like usual. I waited for over an hour before I gave up and walked home. By the time I arrived it was dark and I could see his truck parked in the driveway. My first thought didn't go to anger but to fear. All I could think was that he was hurt or something bad had happened. I burst through the door to see that all of my belongings had been smashed and left in pieces on the floor. He had ruined everything and he sat in the dark awaiting my arrival so that he could see the hurt in my eyes when I saw what he had done.
I gazes down at ripped photo albums and smashed cameras , anything that meant anything was gone.
He looked over at me almost blankly but it was obvious he had been crying.
"Get what's left of your shit and get the fuck out you slut." the hurt in his voice took over the anger and I was left wordless at his outburst.
"Why him and not me. Am I not good enough for you. Do you fucking love him."
He ran at me while he yelled and I remained unmoving and silenced by his rage that had never been seen before by me. His hand gripped my arms and he slammed me into the wall demanding answers. That was when I came clean telling him that I hated mike and he made my life hell at school, that I was almost scared of what he could do. It took a lot of convincing but he finally believed me. Then he hospitalized mike.
But the way he looked at me that day. Like I was the enemy and he could see it now, from one stupid conversation with someone he hardly knew and I was dead to him. He didn't trust me. Forever I would know that. I wondered how small the mistake would have to be for him to turn on me again and loosing Jacob was not an option but neither was loosing Edward. So what do I do?.
No matter what someone gets hurt.
I knew deep down that Jacob didn't mean to hurt me so deeply, he apologized over and over for putting his hands on me that day, but he hurt me so much more then just bruising my arms. He left me unsure about the only constant in my life. At least I thought he was my constant.
A part of me didn't really even want to believe that I once had this fairy tale like existence, that Edward was lying about it. They were just stories, fantasies I so desperately wanted to believe, so I made myself believe. But the other part knew better, the part that cant stand to wait until tomorrow to see him. That's the part who tells me it's real, that everything will change now.
I layed there for hours thinking about what could happen, playing out scenarios in my head of how this could all go horribly wrong but often got distracted when I thought about his gorgeous smile.
"Jacob, up and at em"
I woke cheerful. Which was odd for me. I liked it. For the first time in god knows how long I actually wanted to get to school. I cooked Jacobs breakfast straight away and tried to slip my shoes and button up my clean shirt while the beacon spat oil at me, but I didn't let the stings upset me. I decided to just enjoy the good mood without paying to what or who brought it on.
I sat at the table while he ate and I sipped my coffee smiling to myself while I looked out the window to the surrounding Forrest.
"What's with the goofy smile." he asked trying to make conversation.
"Nothing." I said standing up from the table to fast taking my cup and his now empty plate from infrount of him to the sink. I stood there rinsing everything in the sink waiting to feel his hands on my hips. I felt his eyes follow my ass the whole way to the kitchen and knew he would try to take advantage of my good mood and almost like clockwork I felt his huge hands on my hips slowly encircle around my wait and rest on my stomach, I could feel his hot breath on my neck and then his wet lips kissing me roughly down to my collar bone. I closed my eyes for a long moment convincing myself that this was what I wanted. That if Edward was just my friend. And he was. This should be OK, I should be able to start making out with my boyfriend. I mean I was sixteen, shouldn't I be enjoying this as much as him. Before I could think further about it he spun me around and ran his fingers into my hair forcing my lips to his and his tongue into my mouth. I forced my self to kiss him back like he kissed me, I ran my hand over his huge back but as he continued to kiss me and press me into the bench behind me, I started to feel like I was being suffocated. Like the walls were closing in and the tighter he held me with his hands trailing over me the more I started to feel like I was trapped. I grabbed his arms and pushed him off me.
"Um,We've gottta....Go." I slid out from between him and the bench and walked over to the table to get my bag. I didn't look at him because I didn't want to see the pissed off look on his face. I felt bad for hurting him over and over like this. I felt like I wasn't doing the right thing ,pushing him away every time he advanced on me. It had been years and I still couldn't shake this feeling of being pushed somewhere where that would lead me to being trapped in darkness if I didn't get free as soon as possible.
The car ride to work was silent and we refused to look at each other. I knew he thought it was him and even when I tried to explain myself I could tell he thought I was just making excuses to not get closer to him.
He pulled into the car park and kept the car going.
"Pick you up after school. Walk to the work site if I take to long."
The words came out harshly and I couldn't help but look in his direction to see the hurt that crossed his face and embedded guilt into my stomach over something I could honestly not control.
I watched his truck tear out of the car park taking my good mood with it. I ran through the front door of the school and down the empty hallway to the art department hiding in the photography classes dark room. I slammed my bag on to the bench and dropped my head down to my hands, wishing over and over to be and feel normal. To be able to love him like we both wanted but my brain simply would not allow. The door creaked open behind me and I didn't waste time grabbing my bag to barge my way through so who ever it was didn't see me crying. Mike stood at the entrance blocking the door, I walked at him with my head down to push past to the open door behind him. But there was no luck for me this morning. He shoved me back so hard that I hit the ground with a thud, he slammed the door behind him and advanced towards me quickly and before I knew it he had picked my up off the ground with ease and sat me on the bench. My struggles seemed so stupid. His hands trailed eagerly under my shirt and bra grouping me and kissing me even through me screaming to stop. My fists hit him over and over until he grabbed them and held them above my head pressing them firmly to the wall. It had been only a few minutes since mike had come in and had no defense against him. The feeling of suffocation returned and all I could think was how I was being punished in some way for hurting Jacob this morning but before I could finish the thought or think about the fact that the door had been opened again mikes hands were suddenly being ripped from me along with the buttons that closed my shirt.
Edward had mike life's of the ground with his hands wrapped around Mikes throat.
He glared into mikes suddenly tear filled eyes. Edward didn't say a word he just starred calmly at Mike choking to death in front of him, while he struggled for air and to release Edwards grip on him.
"You ok Bell." he asked with his ruff but soft voice.
"Yeah. I'm OK." was all I managed. Edward didn't stop squeezing Mike straight away. First he squeezed tighter and then got close so that Mike could look into his eyes.
"You and the rest of those assholes better back the fuck off. Or do you want a repeat of the third grade." Mikes eyes became wide at Edwards words and his eyes traced back from me to Edward.
"That's right Mike. Can you see what a well adjusted individual I've become."
With those words Edward's hands released his throat and grabbed his arms to hold mike up before he dropped to choke, Edwards knee lunged in between Mikes legs and then dropped him like a bag of bricks on the ground.
"I don't care if it's you, Jessica, Victoria , James or who ever. Anything happens to her from now on, I'm coming after you Mike." he stood up leaving mike on the ground unable to do anything but hold his crotch and gasp painfully for air. I looked at Edward with my mouth hanging open. He started to take his coat off while he slowly approached me. I realised he was moving slowly because I was shaking so much from Mikes attack and froze in my spot of the bench. He looked so concerned as he got closer taking my arms gently and putting my arms through the sleeves. I wondered for a moment if he thought I was cold but as I numbly followed I realised that the buttons that mike had ripped out had left me completely exposed. Before I could freak out Edwards hands had hooked the zipper in and pulled it up before my hands had a chance to try to cover anything. Mike struggled to get to his feet to run and i looked over Edwards shoulder to see Mike acting like a frightened animal trying to escape from a hunter. He was completely helpless falling over himself trying to flee as fast as possible.
"See you around Mike." Edward said not taking his eyes off me to watch him try to make his way out. He paused at the at the sound of Edwards harsh voice but continued on his way quickly.
"Breathe Bell" I followed what he said and let my self take a breath and desperately tried to stop shaking.
"Hey, look at me Bell. Your safe. You hear me." the words stunned me and when my eyes met his that we're filled not only with rage but incredible concern but my eyes couldn't let myself believe it and all I wanted was to justify what he had just walked in on.
"I didn't want him too....I mean... He, he just came in and I couldn't." I scrabbled and stuttered every word but suddenly both his hands laid softly on the sides of my face.
"Sssshhh, stop it Bell" he whispered softly while his thumbs circled my cheeks lightly as if despretly trying to calm me.
"Did he hurt you." he said as he reached down with one hand to take my shaking hands in his, examining my wrists in the small bit of light the room had shining from the red bulb. I suddenly realised he was looking for bruises from mike holding me down and suddenly I was overcome with relief for the dim red light that would of helped hide the hideous scars that trailed over my chest and stomach.
"I'm OK really. Mike just. He's just." I desperately wanted to explain so he would loose the pity that seemed to be building in his eyes.
"Bell. Don't. You don't have to. He's an asshole and if even looks at you again I'll kill him. This shit ends here." I didn't no what to say. I just starred at him. How could he instantly believe and defend me. Mike could get any girl he wanted and everyone knew it. That's why I always knew no one would believe me, even my own boyfriend.
"Bell look at me. Do you understand. This ends here." I nodded at him not really knowing what he was talking about. I mean did he really think that would work. I loved watching mike squirm on the ground but it seemed like a short term solution to a long term problem.
"I'm going to fix all this Bell. All of it." I shook my head at his determination. Why was he doing this. He had no idea what he'd just done to himself, they would eat him alive.
"You can't fix it Eddie, it is what it is. Save yourself." I blurted out but my words seemed to light his face up and he almost laughed out.
"What!" I asked demanding to know what was so funny.
"You'll see. Your in there somewhere. I'm going to fix this." in that moment with his face close to mine as he made his promises I almost let myself believe him that he could fix it. His eyes were fixed in on mine and I could feel his warm breathe hit my lips and I moved slowly closer to him, he remained unmoving but I could see the slight arch of his neck towards me and I reached out with my still shaking hand to touch his face like he was mine and when my fingers rested on his skin for a moment I lost myself just for a moment. I felt his hand that wasn't on my cheek move slowly up the outside of my thigh to rest on the bench and I let my legs slowly wrap around his waist and pull him even closer but as soon as I had him where I wanted him I moved both my hands to his chest and immediately looked down.
"Sorry Bell, really Iam, I didn't mean too. I just miss you so much and then with." He begged for forgiveness for reasons unknown to me and I just melted.
"It's not you. Believe me. I just can't." I said reaching out again to touch his cheek. His eyes smiled into mine as his hand covered mine the rested on his cool skin again and he slowly moved into me again and put his lips to my cheek for no more then a second and then reluctantly pulled away.
"Are you OK to go to class? We could always cut again if your not up to it."
I smiled and slid of the bench. I was still a bit shaken but all in all I felt unharmed except for the scratches and marks Mike left on my chest but I could handle that.
"Let's do this." I said with a deep breath in and out first. He nodded and walked over to the door to hold it open.
He was right things were different.
I walked into the hallways that flooded with students heading to class and I just felt better. I looked at Edward walking next to me with his head high in the air and I could almost feel his confidence radiate into me.
"I need to use the restrooms" I said trailing off in it's direction.
"Excellent, I'll walk you." I couldn't help but wonder what his excitement over my using the schools facilities were, but when I looked at his smile I had to start wondering what exactly was going on.
"I'll wait her." he leaned casually up against the wall while the other student scurried past.
How can I explain it.
Well that's just it, I can't. I walked in and looked around in complete amazement. My eyes teared up and I could finally feel it. His love, it would save me. I could truly see now that loosing Edward was not a question. It could never happen. I would never allow it.
What he done was.... The nicest thing I can ever remember anyone ever doing. I turned and swung the door open again to see him still standing up against the wall and made my way through the people between us and lept into his arms pressing my tear soaked eyes into his neck. He held so tightly that I didn't care about any of them anymore, now I could see that he was stronger then all of them.
In the days that followed I started to wonder how he pulled it off. We sat at our own table in the lunch room completely undisturbed and each morning Edward would meet me in the quad to walk me to class and it was all completely uneventful. It was so odd, No one in the entire school bothered me in the slightest. One of the older boys actually held the lunchroom door open for me and I almost fell over in amazement. How the hell does he just walk in and change everything pretty much over night. Except for the overwhelming guilt when I was with Jacob my life was actually looking up, I actually liked going to school and dreaded that it was Friday and i wouldn't see him for two days.
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- 13 Nov 12
- 13 Nov 12
- In Progress