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I'm nothing but a monster burning in a hell that only exists in my head. There's no hope left until one harmless glance chances logic and binds two eternal enemies together in a twist of fate. Can the escape from this hell be found in an infuriating dimpled grin? Or is this another dark, dirty trick of my own mind? A forbidden passion, heat, and intense anger—this is no fairytale.

[Disclaimer: Monster is an originally plotted fic. The ideas within this fic are not to be copied in any way, shape, or form—I have not given my consent to any manner of copying. All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the intellectual property of their respective owners. All canon concepts and characters are the property of the Twilight Saga's author, Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended. Similarities are for the sole use of fan fiction, and no profit has been or will be benefited from the posting of this fic.] Emerging Swan Award 2012, nominated into Fandom Choice Awards.

20. Fade

Rating 0/5   Word Count 1963   Review this Chapter

"Can nobody hear me?
I've got a lot that's on my mind
I cannot breathe
Can you hear it, too?" - Imagine Dragons.

Chapter Twenty


August 14th, 2005.

The TV blared at full volume. My jaw was clenched, my fingers squeezing the remote. My body heat was rising like steam from an oven, and it was about to hit the ceiling. My eyes were glued on the floor while I listened. Just hearing the rehearsed voice of the reporter set my temper ticking. I couldn't comprehend the words as my brain sent out cycle after cycle of rage. It was the sound of her name that spoke to me. The sound of the name that had once held meaning to me.

"Jordan Uley is mentally disturbed, I believe. Officials have released her identity as the search for her still proves to be unsuccessful. Her guardian seems to have disappeared as well. Perhaps her parents are too ashamed to show their faces. Perhaps she has ki—"

The voice of the interviewed man was cut off when the TV exploded. I stared blankly at it, now scarred with webs of cracks, the remote that was in my hand just a moment ago jutting out of its center. My temper was out of control, what with all the gossiping newsmen making me famous. They were pressing just the right buttons to let my bottled rage fly, and I wasn't taking very nicely to it.

I quickly slid my foot over the broken pieces and ground them into the floor with my heel. I inhaled and exhaled in a practiced, steady rhythm, struggling to calm myself. I tried to focus on other things, anything but the words ringing in my ears: the whine of the wind outside, the gentle tapping of rain on the window, and. . .

My senses picked up on muffled laughter, echoing from down the hall. My hands curled into fists, my nails scraping against my rough skin. I could still hear Sam and Leah long after they had shut the door, not because of my wolf's impressive radar, but because they weren't bothering to be quiet. They had been too into each other to even remember there were other people around. Too in love to hide the sounds of their affection.

I shook my head, heading for the stairs. Love—they were in love. My lips curled as the wolf in me spat, disgusted by the mere sound of the word.

My feet were silent on the stairs as I slipped into to my room. I could hear Sam's voice in my head, reciting what he would have said if he weren't so busy with Leah and knew what I was about to do. Bradley and Sophie . . . they wouldn't approve. But they weren't here to tell me what to do anymore. They never would be. There wasn't any part of my brain capable of sugarcoating my reality.

My voice was jumbled in my head, my thoughts too scattered to be understood. At one time, I might have listened to myself. But the wolf had taken over, and the wolf wasn't going to share any part of me. Jordan Uley had faded to the point that all memory of her was a static emptiness.

Another flicker of heat struck me. My vision was blinded by the fury, and then suddenly, it returned with a sharp new focus. I could see the world just as I had, only completely different. I could see the world as a wolf. As a killer.

As who I had become.

Instinct had no patience for consideration. My heart clenched and my breathing stopped. I was suddenly in motion, lunging at the bedroom door. My fingers clamped down on the handle, rattling it with the waves of the tremors that shook my entire being. I jerked my arm back, tearing the door clean off before flinging it carelessly behind me.

I stepped into my room, my eyes moving across its contents. My breathing was choppy, my eyes narrowed while red stained my vision. I rushed forward, my mind working at a million miles an hour, my dark eyes zeroed in on the wet window.

I was blazing.

I was alive.

I was deadly.

I was wild.

I could escape the walls through the shining glass.

I had to do it.

I could do it.

I would do it.

Why would she stay? Why would the wolf run beneath bleak skies, her instinct racing through her, telling her to kill? Telling her she was made to kill even though there wasn't anything to kill. Ordering her to kill until she could only turn on everything she was killing for.

I took a single stride, followed by another. That was it. A quick one, two, and I was leaving everything behind. My shoulders curved, my arms pointed forward as I charged straight through the window. The glass rained down on me while it shredded my clothes and skin.

Blood leaked out onto the deck, leaving splatters of crimson on the paint. My healing had accelerated with the beat of my heart, causing the wounds to seal in seconds. I let out one more heated breath before my hand lashed out, catching the railing of the porch before I hurled myself over.

I fell.




My feet hit the roof of Sam's truck. I crouched, my hands bracing myself against the surface as I steadied myself. I sucked in a deep breath, tasting the clean air, glancing around before swinging myself into the driver's seat in one smooth movement.

I had never driven a car before. I shifted in the seat, my gaze darting around. I snatched up the silver key, jamming it into the ignition. The truck sputtered while it came alive with a roar. I bared my teeth and put my hand on the throttle. I turned my wrist in, shoving the throttle toward the D. My foot jammed onto the gas and the truck rumbled, shooting forward.

It drove smoothly, but it didn't do so well once I swerved off the trail. It rocked and jumped at every tree root, occasionally smashing into boulders while flattening every bush. I didn't ease up, my foot suffocating the gas pedal while I forced the truck to move faster, the fury pumping in my veins, not wanting to waste a minute. But of course, there always had to be some interruption just when I thought I was going to get away.

There was a flash of copper ahead, a form hopping into my path. I leaned forward, my heart skipping beats while it fluttered angrily. I squinted as I made out the form of the figure. Black hair was plastered down with rain, rounded muscles but still a slender build, cut off jeans riding his hips, and light brown eyes.

I didn't see Embry in front of me.

I only saw the obstacle in my path.

I stomped on the gas pedal once more. The truck powered forward, sending mud flying in every which way. Embry stood as a brown, muddy statue before the path of the truck, his eyes widened in terror; a doe trapped in headlights.

We stared at each other in silence for a few minutes, Embry frozen and stricken with shock while he took in my expression. Finally, he raised his hands. His mouth opened, his body freezing for another moment while he struggled to form the words in his mind.

Slowly, Embry's hands rose. "Whoa!"

My body didn't respond to the signal. I leaned forward eagerly, my gaze locked on his. Threat, threat, threat. He was nothing more than a threat.

I could almost feel my eyes dilate, almost taste the heat as it spread through my body. My body roared with excitement as the truck picked up speed, chugging straight toward the stationary figure. Just before the impact hit, Embry tumbled to the side. I shouted out, my voice a mixture of a howl and a screech, before the truck met a wide tree with an audible boom.

The tree groaned and swayed, my eyes locked on the front of the truck as it seemed to fold inward, glass spitting at me like millions of flying daggers. I tore myself free without hesitation, shoving myself hard into the window. My body tumbled out, head over heels, into the mud-soaked grass.

A moment later, I was on my feet again. My arm snapped back as I felt a piece of glass in my shoulder. I yanked it out, crunching it to bits in my fingers. I tossed the sprinkles behind me, allowing the rush of the wind to carry it back.

My stride lengthened with every step, my arms pumping with the twist and turn of my body. The wolf inside me had been suffocating for too long; I had to let it out. The fire of rage shook me both inside and out, changing me. The pain was melting my skin, burning me alive.

That was the time to escape; I could feel it. I took a deep breath and let the flames engulf me, leaning down while releasing the tremors locked up in the center of my being. My hands disappeared, twisting into paws while the change set in. My body bowed toward the ground.

With a jerk of my head, my neck extended and shimmered away into the wolf, my paws sliding slightly in the mud. I raised my head, staring into a sky bleached grey. The wind caressed my fur, tossing around scents in my nostrils and bringing flashes of images along with them.

This was what I had been missing.

This was who I have become.

My paws thundered against the ground, having no need to be quiet. My breath clouded, heavy and steamy, in front of me. Muscle, bone, and blood all moved in rhythm, my body captured in the beat of my frantic escape. I raced deep into the forest, leaving everything behind. I swiftly threw myself over fallen trees, logs, plowing over anything in my way.

There was no time to cover my tracks, and my paws left defined prints in the mud. I forced myself to power forward. I zipped through the vegetation, thinking that the prints would be nothing compared to the blaze that seemed to start when the heat of my flaming body blew through the forest. When I broke through the tree line and into the empty streets of the village, I pushed myself even faster. I was so drunk with the freedom and the speed that the realization didn't hit me until I'd cleared out of Quileute land completely.

I heaved out a large breath, my mind still cruising, even while the fire inside me ebbed. For a moment, it seemed as if I might have caught myself. But only a moment.

Again, the eagerness spoke to me, stronger than before as it surged through me. The flames were urging me onward, motivating my paws to keep going. Faster, faster, faster.

I tossed my head back and let my voice roll out of my mouth. The howl sung in harmony with the lyrics of the wind, charging with the currents for miles. Once the sound died out completely, I was far past the boundaries, entering a foreign world. My paws carried me into the deepest shadows, rage roaring inside me. The taste of revenge was already sweet on my tongue. The fading howls in the background meant nothing to the wolf. She was nothing.

My family, my past, and my life disappeared behind me, fading away as if they too, were nothing.

And so did Jordan Uley. What was left of her, at least.