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Monster

Summary:
I'm nothing but a monster burning in a hell that only exists in my head. There's no hope left until one harmless glance chances logic and binds two eternal enemies together in a twist of fate. Can the escape from this hell be found in an infuriating dimpled grin? Or is this another dark, dirty trick of my own mind? A forbidden passion, heat, and intense anger—this is no fairytale.


Notes:
[Disclaimer: Monster is an originally plotted fic. The ideas within this fic are not to be copied in any way, shape, or form—I have not given my consent to any manner of copying. All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the intellectual property of their respective owners. All canon concepts and characters are the property of the Twilight Saga's author, Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended. Similarities are for the sole use of fan fiction, and no profit has been or will be benefited from the posting of this fic.] Emerging Swan Award 2012, nominated into Fandom Choice Awards.


46. Rash Agreements

Rating 0/5   Word Count 2651   Review this Chapter

"Early morning, wake me up
Father father father, this is not enough
Oh oh oh oh." - Imagine Dragons.

Chapter Forty Six

Rash Agreements

Hunger.

I'm full of hunger. It's not a craving or desire; it's a ravenous need—a starvation. I must satisfy the wolf if she is to ever back down and leave me to my own head. She's filling my brain and demanding to be let free again. She knows that I have let go of her and reach for my humanity once more. And she sure as hell doesn't like that.

I pace restlessly, back and forth, wearing away at the muck beneath my hot paws. Paws that ache to crush and break. A body that has been built to do just that. To demolish, to destroy.

Yet at the same time, there's another feeling battling against the hunger. The wolf feeds the desire, forcing it to strengthen inside of me, urging it to push me until I just can't take it. But in the pit of my stomach, there's a solid emotion that is anchoring me down. Some sort of feeling that sends shudders rocketing through my body. Some sort of force that defies the wolf, testifying her rule on the throne of my control. Some—

God, can you keep that shit down? I'm getting a freaking migraine over here.Paul huffs obnoxiously, his deep-set eyes shooting daggers in my direction. Besides, some of us are actually trying to patrol.

My thoughts are too scattered to form a response. Instead, I slam my paw down, crushing a stray rock beneath the pressure. The movement alone amuses the wolf, but she wants more than that. She yearns for the salty tang of blood on her tongue. I shake my head and focus hard on sending one mud-streaked leg out in front of the other, trying to keep my rhythm steady.

You're not doing much better, Paul, Nicole remarks, pointing her muzzle in the air for emphasis. If you'd keep your eyes off her, maybe you would get somewhere too.

I ain't looking at nothing! There's a sound of heavy, angry footfalls in the near distance, but my attention remains centered.Nothing much to see, anyway. Jordan's like a zombie, or. . . Something's wrong with her. Still.

Oh, for the love of all things holy. Leah gives an annoyed huff, padding past me as she follows the invisible route we're all set on. She's inlove. That's what's wrong with her.

In love? With what? Paul's mind jabs at my own, sifting through my tangle of thoughts. The weather?

Is your brain just a ball of fur too? Leah's aggravated eyes dart my way. The white of my fur reflects in her eyes for a millisecond before she tears her gaze away, suddenly focused on placing her paws in the dry patches of the ground.

You're both stupid. Nicole scoffs. Jordan's just twice as bad.

Two growls echo each other simultaneously. My mind buzzes at the rush of the thoughts that sprint through my mind, aimed for Nicole.

You wanna piece of me? Paul challenges, his large grey body looming threateningly in the spaces of the trees.

Come again, bitch? Leah snaps. She has her hackles raised and the curves of her teeth are showing beneath her raised lips.

Two hotheads and a maniac. Nicole rolls her eyes, unaffected by the heated thoughts of her pack mates. She trots ahead of the rest of us calmly, shaking a light mist of rain from her shining coat. What a lovely patrol Sam put together. Just more proof of his slacking.

I shake my head abruptly, turning my gaze left and right. Nicole is in the lead, setting the pace for the rest of us. Paul tromps along a few yards away from my shoulder, matching each stride. Leah's on my right, keeping up without as much effort, her nimble body able to race along without as much effort. They are all radiating frustration, as if the anxiety for the return of the patrol headed out to the Cullens has riddled them all with weary excitement. I still boil under the wolf's demands, nothing more than a skeleton made up of flesh, bone, and impulse. My pack mates' arguing nags at the back of my mind, barely grabbing my attention.

Until a few words hit me like a brick to the skull.

She probably doesn't even understand what love is.

Her words crack my mental wall. With an infuriated snarl, memories spill out from my mind and into the others. I shove it at Nicole—all of it, all at once—forcing her to witness everything. Puddles of blood; cold, empty nights; a stranger's skin pressed on my own; the frequent absence of emotion. But with it comes the raw anger, and so very much of it, coursing through me and swallowing me whole.

The silver she-wolf shakes in her skin, reddening behind her fur. She winces at the sight of my small hands curled together, the skin bruised blue by the cold, watching as the scene shifts to display those same hands stained red with the crimson death of a man, his mouth gaping open as he lay limp over my body. The memories surge forward, growing hot and real in the minds of Paul, Leah, and Nicole, punching into their skulls before they break through the bone and return to my memory, becoming more and more vivid, and so hot, so real. . .

Stop it!

The monster shrinks at the sudden blare of the feminine voice inside my head. I snap open my eyes, although I don't remember shutting them. Nicole squirms in the muck, my strong white paws buried in the thick fur of her chest, pinning her down. I'm only centimeters away, our eyes locked, my teeth embedded deep in a muzzle wet with blood. Fear gleams in her icy eyes, her front teeth bared and her ears flat with submission.

I don't move. My body is numb as I regain myself, slowly feeling my brain fall under my control. Nicole whimpers as my teeth slowly slide free, a long stream of her blood running off them. She glances at my legs and heaves upward, knocking me off of her. Rolling to the side, Nicole rises to her feet in a wobbly, unsteady way before shaking the mud off her coat. Her shoulders tremble with shock and her eyes study my stiff, white form, as if she's expecting another outburst. I catch a glimpse of her expression but don't dwell on it. I watch the wound seal before my eyes before I pull in deep, careful breaths and relax my twitching muscles.

Paul and Leah's minds have both hushed. Leah shakes her head slowly, her mind running through a list of curses, while Paul gawks at me, his dark gaze suspicious as if he's sizing up a stranger. The only sounds are the trickle of rain and our loud, heavy hearts for a long while. All of us remain motionless, facing opposite directions, only breathing and waiting.

It might have been minutes, hours, or even days. But at some point, the long-awaited eerie shimmer disrupts the silence and three other minds merge with our own. The chatter of each train of thought is meaningless to me. I roll my shoulders and study the rain-drenched skin of a tree, barely able to take notice of anything else.

What are we waiting for? Get the others out here! someone thinks hurriedly.

Someone else near me throws back their head and releases a powerful howl, projecting their voice over the treetops. The sound punctures the silence and rings into the air, holding steady for a few moments before slowly dying down. It's not much later that other minds flow in as many other wolves burst into the forest. Thoughts bubble out from mind to mind, although mine remains half-empty.

Nope, no action yet, Quil announces to the incoming wolves. He's pacing frantically in a tight circle, his dark, wind-blown fur ruffled and his eyes shimmering as if he can barely contain himself.

Darn. Seth mumbles in response. His sandy form appears in the trees, Leah sauntering behind his heels. But we'll have some soon, won't we?

Gosh, what could be so important at two in the morning? Collin questions groggily as he mimics Quil's pacing. Fuller and me just hit the hay, and then bam! Up we go again. Say, you coming or not, Brady?

Brady's ashy fur is visible through the same opening in the brush moments later. He scrambles out toward the rest of the pack, his jaws parting in a deep yawn. Sorry, dude. I'm exhausted.

You didn't have any issues? Sam's voice is directed straight at Jacob. I can hear his paws thudding softly on the ground behind me as he comes forward, but I don't turn, because a few feet behind him, Jared is approaching, and Paul jogs over to stand with them.

Jacob steps forward, coming into my view. His russet fur is smooth and dry although his eyes are frazzled with too many emotions at once. He shakes his head at Sam's question, his mind working too fast to put his thoughts into words.

Awesome. Jared brushes past me, his dark eyes set on the russet wolf. What'cha got, Jake?

Jacob opens his mind and releases a bout of memories almost immediately. The pack all draws in a collective breath as the thoughts swim through our minds, drowning out the forest. I dig my paws into the dirt as if holding myself into reality as Jacob's recital of what he's found begins.

Jasper's expression is terrifying as he slides in place in front of his mate, his body making a clear barrier between Jacob and Alice. The lights flash in his eyes as he stares. To his side, Alice watches Jacob as well. She frowns at him, slowly turning to face Bella, who is pressed against the wall with a confused expression on her face.

"The decision's been made," Alice murmurs hesitantly.

Bella's alert gaze rests on Alice. "You're going to Seattle?"

The pixie-like Cullen sighs. "No."

It takes a moment for Bella to catch on, but as she does, the color drains from her face, making her even paler than usual. "Th-They're coming here," she chokes.

Well, the Cullens didn't attack, so it wasn't all thatfun, Quil offers, concluding the memory. He casts a disappointed look my way, sending out an image of Emmett. His dimpled grins sends shots of hurt into my veins, something near pain. I am filled with a strong urge to reach into the memory, to feel the thickness of his hair and run my hands over the firmness of his muscles. I have to remind myself that it's not real—it's just a memory—to keep myself from lunging.

Paul picks up on the emotion rising inside me and snaps his teeth. Shut up, Quil.

Quil snorts, but the sound is cut off by Sam's heavy sigh. His black body shifts as he repositions himself and dips his head in Jacob's direction. The russet wolf returns the nod, his eyes skimming the attentive gazes of the other wolves before he plays through the rest of the memory.

"Yes," Alice replies patiently. Her eyes flicker over to Jacob for a millisecond, studying his expression. He feels the crinkle in his brow and the tremble in his hands but forces himself to stay quiet.

"To Forks," Bella whispers in a haze.

"Yes."

She gulps. "For?"

Alice nods slowly, seeming to understand something that Jacob doesn't. "One of them was holding your shirt."

Curiosity gets the better of Jacob as the conversation continues. He ignores the warning glance from Jasper, focusing on Bella as he speaks. "Hold it.Whatis coming?"

"Our kind," Alice answers quickly, almost hastily. "Lots of them."

Jacob glowers at her yellow eyes. "We know that. But for what?"

"For Bella."

Quil and Embry are slowly turning behind Jacob, suddenly desperate to run out of here and back to the pack. Jacob stops them with a barely visible shake of his head. This time, he looks right at Jasper, addressing him directly. "There's too many for you."

Jasper hisses too lowly for human ears to hear. "We have a few advantages. It will be an even fight."

"No." Jacob half-smiles, excitement spreading through him as a plan unfolds in his mind. "It won't be even."

"Excellent!" Alice exclaims.

Jacob pulls up an image of Bella's panic-stricken expression, his memory still in motion. Nicole interrupts quickly, breaking up the thought before it can completely form. We've heard enough of her. She shakes her head sharply as if trying to clear out all traces of Bella from her thoughts. So, what is it that we're doing, Jacob?

Jacob swings his head from side to side, too eager to mind Nicole's rudeness or so much as look over at her. I was getting to that. He frowns at Sam, his expression questionable.

Once again, the black wolf isn't very responsive. His dark eyes are full of a mixture between concern and wariness, clearly still nowhere near trusting the Cullens. His mind replays Jacob's memories over and over as if searching for some excuse to slip out of what's bound to come.

Beside him, Jared lets out a slow, impatient breath. Well?

The russet wolf raises his head, standing above the other wolves. I swallow back a growl at the gesture. We're going to put this all together. Fight with them and learn how to kill off the leeches that are coming. Protect Bella.

And we get to kill some vampires! Seth notes cheerfully.

No killing yet. First we have to have a "strategic meeting" with a bunch of parasites that we can't kill and think that we don't have what it takes. Embry thinks, somewhat disgruntled.

Where at? Nicole presses. Her silver fur is raised over her shoulders and her ears are perked. She's trying hard to put on an interested act, but it's not working very well. Jacob fails to notice this either.

Three o'clock, just outside Hoh Forest.

We'd better get going, Leah thinks bitterly, her small form pacing angrily over the wet ground. Before the 'suckers think we all caved and we miss out completely. Oh, ha, nevermind! Let's all stay put.

C'mon, Lee. Seth bumps his shoulder against his sister's with a timid whine. This is fun!

Sure it is, runt, Leah mutters. Her teeth are revealed in the darkness, white and pointed. I'd rather drink raw acid than have to stand around watching the Cullens pounce on each other.

We should get going. Jared agrees. His brown body trots in Leah's path, blocking her way. He dismisses her annoyed rumble with a flick of his ears and glances Sam's way. Coming?

Yes.

Sam's sides swell with another sigh as he lurches forward, trudging after Jared. I shake my head and fall in step behind him, the rest of the pack filing out behind us. I study the droop in Sam's shoulders and the lag in each step with suspicion. His blood flows healthily and his heart beats regularly, but some voice insists I take note of his strange behavior.

Nicole catches up in seconds and wedges between Sam and me. Her fur is bristled and spotted with dried mud and her eyes alight with irritation. But, when they catch mine, they lighten ever so slightly. I huff at her and drift off to the side, running alone. Various colors of coats blur ahead as we race on as one, heading out to the leech land united.

I decide to ignore the nagging voice, not wanting to give the monster any advantage. Instead, I drag in a deep breath and strain to catch the slightest whiff of Emmett's scent, knowing that despite the riled conflict between us, he's out there, waiting.