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I'm nothing but a monster burning in a hell that only exists in my head. There's no hope left until one harmless glance chances logic and binds two eternal enemies together in a twist of fate. Can the escape from this hell be found in an infuriating dimpled grin? Or is this another dark, dirty trick of my own mind? A forbidden passion, heat, and intense anger—this is no fairytale.

[Disclaimer: Monster is an originally plotted fic. The ideas within this fic are not to be copied in any way, shape, or form—I have not given my consent to any manner of copying. All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the intellectual property of their respective owners. All canon concepts and characters are the property of the Twilight Saga's author, Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended. Similarities are for the sole use of fan fiction, and no profit has been or will be benefited from the posting of this fic.] Emerging Swan Award 2012, nominated into Fandom Choice Awards.

56. I Dos and I Don'ts

Rating 0/5   Word Count 3257   Review this Chapter

"And I feel you close
Feel you close like you wanted me to
Feel you close like you wanted me to
Believe in you."
- Imagine Dragons.

Chapter Fifty Six

I Dos and I Don'ts

Wow, you gotta be kidding. She hurt Emily? Sam's gonna flip!

He already took her to the hospital. She lost a lot of blood when she got blasted with all that glass, but she'll survive.

Phew, I was gonna say! Daaaaang, that woman's a real nut ball though, don't you think?


No, I'm serious! Haven't you heard the stories? You got that scar when Jordan, like, trampled you years ago, right? And it's still there! Gosh, even Nicole—

Brady, you really should shut up now.

Why? You think it's not true? Sheesh, tough crowd. Come on, just look at her next time, real close. Paul says that she's planning on marryingthat—

Brady . . . turn around.

I'm motionless, my paws hidden in the undergrowth and my form a white splotch of color in the green mass around me. My thoughts, a muddled mess of senseless hums and buzzes, are on low. Low enough that even as the ashy runt prances right around the trail and comes straight at me, he doesn't know I'm there.

Brady's words pause in his head as Embry speaks, finally shutting up for half a second. He lifts his head and nearly jumps out of his coat at the sight of me, stumbling over his feet with a shocked yelp. He collides into my front, then backpedals over the wet leaves as he struggles to right himself. I remain indifferent, a wall of stone refusing to budge. My hard gaze sets on him as he cowers, lowering himself against the forest floor and drooping his ears. He whimpers quietly as he averts his gaze to the ground.

Oh man , oh man, oh man! I—I. . . I, uh. . .

I curl my lip back, snuffing a hot breath through my bared teeth. Nice weather, don't you think?

The mud slips beneath Brady's paws as he scrambles further back, his shoulders quivering. Yep! Yep, very, very nice weather and it's . . . it's just great! Don't want anything to spoil it, like getting hamstringed or anything . . . heh.

As Brady trembles, his spotted gossip partner creeps forward. His paw cracks a branch, failing to distract my gaze though his advance earns my attention. I rumble, releasing a slow growl. Embry dips his head, coming to an abrupt halt.

Hey, Jordan. What do you want us to do?

His words process through my mind slowly. My control is butter, slipping through my grasp. I have to glare at the two of them for a long moment, my breath coming hotly and heavily through my teeth, before I realize Embry's asking me. Something churns deep within me, though it disappears before I can make sense of it.

Take the perimeter, but push it out a little farther. With one 'sucker already intruding, we have to make sure there's nothing waiting farther out.

Neither of them question my order. I nod my head toward the forest, dismissing them without a pause. Brady hops up, whipping around and rushing into the forest, creating as much distance between us as he can. Embry shakes his head slowly, taking a second to curl his lips in what's almost a wolfish smile before he nudges the brush aside and takes off after him.

The moment the rustle of the brush has ceased, I pivot back, lifting myself up as I shimmer into my human skin. I head through the thinning trees without missing a beat, breathing in the murky scent of the lake just before I duck through the trees and step out on to the water's edge.

Lake water laps at the land, pulling in clumps of pebbles and mud while spitting out piles of slime-covered backwash. Choppy waves shimmer on the surface, caught in the rare beams of sunlight. I searching the other side, drawing in a final taste of the thick air. When I find no signs of an audience, I jog through the shallows and dive into the cool water.

My breath skims the murky surface, fanning out in a tiny wave of ripples. I ghost through the water with practiced stealth, each stroke taking me farther. Water seeps into my clothing, clinging to my skin like an extra layer, though I don't allow it to slow me down. It's only minutes before my feet press into the thick mud of the weed-choked shallows. I stand, filling my lungs with the clean air before stepping on to the gritty shore and disappearing into the forest.

I can't tell if I'm thinking or not. My thoughts change with the passing forest, never sticking for longer than a few seconds. They jump and bounce; twist and turn; roar and hum. I'm listening to my own personal storm wreak havoc inside my skull. In the eye of it, one promise gives me the fuel to keep going.

"I'll come back at sundown."

There's not a single pit in hell that'll make me break my word.

Closer to the leech side of the river, everything is calm. My bare feet pass over a trail of ants marching beneath the leaves. They're at ease, filed out in a perfect line until the kickback of my stride drowns them in a wave of mud. The brush is thinning and the rush of the current gushes faintly in my ears. A gentle breeze filters through in the treetops, carrying a wave of fresh scents from the other side.

I only have to take in a single breath to remind myself why I'm so determined.

As I step on to the edge of the river, still settling into my human skin, a breeze of white flashes through the trees. I find myself standing across from Emmett, his broad shoulders leaning against the trunk of a mossy tree as he studies me. His golden eyes are bright as he cracks a dimpled grin, immediately quieting the monster's doubts that flash behind my lids.

He lifts a hand, waving me over. "Why hello there, beautiful. Need a lift?"

The next few minutes pass in a blur. My vision goes static, buzzing and crackling as I anchor myself on to the soft surface of the passenger seat. Emmett hits a dirt road and speeds down it, headed for the mountains. He talks to me, his words light with humor, pointing out things as we pass and cursing when the tires crunch over overgrown tree roots. I sit in place, nodding when necessary while drumming my fingers on the hot skin of my thigh.

At some point, Emmett stops talking. I wait a minute, staring at the stretch of rocky, muddy road before us. When he doesn't continue, I turn my head and look over at him. He arches an eyebrow in a way that would normally set off a string of heated thoughts, tilting his head.

"Is the road that pretty?"

I drag a hand through my hair, blowing out a big breath. I clench my fingers, gripping a fistful of my hair. The Jeep slows, triggering a flare of warning. I glance out the window, not breathing until the woman in the reflection appears semi-relaxed.

"I don't know, Emmett," I say suddenly. "I don't know."

Emmett leans back in his seat, searching for my gaze. "Don't know what?"

"What the hell's wrong with me." I bounce my knee and roll my ankles, my eyes set on the window, picking out the weakest points. I ball my hands into fists until my knuckles pale, tearing my attention away.

The Jeep comes to an abrupt halt. Emmett shakes his head, swallowing as he speaks again. "I'm here for you."

His words mean something, but it's not enough to kill the smoldering ash. I'm craving the release of the bottle. My parched throat demands a cold escape and my head pounds, on the verge of falling off the edge. I breathe fire as I speak again.

"What if I don't stop at your neck next time?"

I can't see Emmett, but I do see the half-smile curving his lips. "I wouldn't kill the steam."

My stomach lurches, though there's nothing for it to bring up. A metallic flavor spills over the sharp edges of my teeth as I bite down, barely able to hold myself in place. I roll my head back, close my eyes, and just laugh a laugh that has no real meaning.

Emmett's smile slowly falters. I laugh until my muscles strain with the feeling, even as worry becomes etched across Emmett's features. My teeth flash in a grin as I twist my head around and fix him with a darkened grin full of a bitter disgust that isn't even my own.

"And truth comes out! You just keep banging your heart out with whatever has a pulse, but just because I put up a nice show doesn't mean it'll always feel so good."

"What we have is great—" Emmett begins, but I cut him off with a snort.

"Great for what? The fun that makes you feel so good?" I snort. "I'm telling you I want to kill you, and yet here you are, still blinded with love and shit."

"You think this is just love?"

I open my mouth to spit my response, but his words cause me to reel. Not love? If he's not doing this out of love, then what the hell is his motivation? I clench my jaw, my fiery gaze gravitating toward his. I don't speak, my thoughts thrown far off track and smashed to bits and pieces.

Emmett holds my gaze, shifting his position while raising his hands—one holds the steering wheel; the other grabs the head of his seat. Both are in my perfect view, not at all a threat as he inches toward me, close enough that our breath mixes, creating a cooling antidote.

After a long pause, he smiles and says, "It's called passion, babe. The heat comes with it, but you won't ever feel the love if you don't let yourself come back to me."

A shudder shoots down my spine. The world's sucked into blackness, becoming nothing more than a tiny black dot. There's a flash behind my lids—a red wave of retreat, and then everything zooms in and refocuses with an icy clarity. I breathe out slowly, finding only a centimeter between me and Emmett—a small distance waiting to be closed.

My heart beats harder in my chest. I reach out, running my fingers along the soft skin of his face. He doesn't disintegrate under my touch—he's real; he's here.

"Tell me what you want," he demands. His eyes don't move as he speaks. "Tell me what I can do, right here and now."

I don't have to think. "Put me out of my misery."

Emmett's brow furrows, his expression clouding over. He opens his mouth and narrows his buttery eyes that have suddenly been tinted hazel.

"Anything except that."

"That's all you have to do," I press. I grit my teeth as frustration ebbs through my chest and leaks into my tone. "Get a gun, push it in my mouth, and pull the trigger. I'm too far gone, Emmett. And you know that."

"I don't," he insists. His arms twitch, though he doesn't move his hands. "I don't believe any of that. It's bullshit."

We're right back where we started. I shake my head, grabbing his chin and holding his face level with mine, probing his gaze for answers. My fingertips hover at the surface of his skin, threatening to push straight through.

"Then show me what you think this—" I tighten my grip "—means."

Emmett's nostrils flare. He holds my gaze for a moment, mirroring my frustration. His lips part, and I brace myself for his response, but never hear his words.

His lips press against my own, urgent and hard and cold. Something inside me recoils, but I don't move. I taste his kiss and feel the hope in it, working out all the kinks and ties until I give in and drop my chains, pulling back for only a moment.

I climb straight over the seat and on to his lap without a pause, struck with a fever as I heatedly find his lips again. It's been too long since I've felt, and I need to feel something; anything. I need to feel him and me and the two of us together, just to know that I'm almost real.

As he takes my mouth with his, I grip his hair. It's not a tug of little tug of passion, it's a demand. I extend my fingers in the softness of his hair, spreading them through the dark curls until my nails curl tight against his scalp. He likes this, though, and is sure to let me know with a low groan, the deep sound of it echoing down my throat and causing my stomach to coil.

I can't tell what's happening. I'm feeling the burn, but there's not much else here, like the world around us has folded in and became just us and nothing more. Emmett's shirt splits clean down the middle, but it's not until I taste his marble skin that I realize my teeth are clamped around the thin fabric of his shirt. I turn my head and release it with a spit, returning my attention back to Emmett before it even hits the seat.

And we're kissing again, our lips and tongues working together to coax out every flavor. I've released his hair and slid my hands down the skin that's silken ice beneath the pads of my fingers, feeling my hands pressed between us as I run them along the ripped muscle of his body. He's beautiful, so beautiful that I start to throb and pulse, unable to wait for more.

My eyes squeeze shut as I pull my body flush against his, gripping the back of the seat. I'm working him out of his jeans, relieving him of the strain. The wolf in me thrives with delight, acknowledging my catch and demanding an act of claim.

Emmett smirks as his clothing disappears, making sure the rest of mine follows shortly. He starts to turn his body then, gripping my hips with bruising pressure as he raises himself up. I take only a second to sense his intentions and less than a heartbeat more to react.

I mean to press myself more firmly against him, locking him in place, but my strength is too much and the seat collapses behind us, falling flat against the back seat. Emmett grunts as he lands on his back, still holding my hips and keeping me upright. I almost want to smirk, but my expression is masked by the heat I feel. I only stare, watching the golden of Emmett's eyes darken as he grins, his lips raising to show a glint of his teeth.

My mind empties, and suddenly, there's no reason to hold back any longer.

We try to hang on to the climbing high, but despite our experience, neither of us lasts as long as we want to. We end up laying together on the broken seat, sharing sweet breath and gentle kisses. My heart slows to a steady thrum as time passes, though it quickens every time I run a hand over Emmett's marble skin. His buttery eyes fix on the side of my face, content with only watching until finally, I meet his gaze.

He smiles softly, leaning in to take another brief kiss before slowly pulling away. I catch the silent question in his movements and sit up, bracing a hand on the broken seat to steady myself. The world's bright around me, pouring out white light. I push a hand through my hair, nodding as I collect myself, gathering my control and holding it together in my core until I'm sure it's solid. I turn my gaze over to Emmett, who gives me a bright smile almost immediately.

"I'm catching the hint," he says. "You don't like being caged in."

I raise a brow, my words lost in my throat. Emmett nods, unaffected by my silence.

"Yeah, that's right. I'm gonna help you out, like I've promised, but I don't need to tame you. Actually, I'm really starting to get attached to this whole wild thing."

I exhale slowly, trying to look indifferent though I can't stop my lips from curling up in an amusement smile. Emmett watches, his lips twitching as he pushes himself up and rubs his face with his hands. Once he's finished, his hands fall and he fixes me with another short grin before pushing open the car door, bringing in a blast of humid air, hot and sticky.

"I've got a little surprise in the back, if you don't mind," he hints. With a wink, he disappears through the open space.

I shake my head, grinning as I follow after him.

Neither of us bothers with clothes—we have nothing to hide. I pad over the ground and to the back, feeling the humidity press against my bare skin. Emmett's already thrown open the back, his muscles flexing as he works, his top half hidden by the Jeep. I fold my arms loosely over my chest and step closer, peering over his bent head.

Emmett's pale hands clamp around a blanket, dragging it out from the crease between the door and the seat. His strength is no match for the thing, but he tugs unsurely as if he doesn't want to rip it clean out. I smile slightly, ducking into the back and reaching over the blanket, dragging it out the rest of the way while avoiding the strap it's caught on.

With a final tug, the blue blanket comes free and drifts down to settle on the trunk. I turn back around, opening my mouth to speak, only to find myself inches away from Emmett's face. He holds my gaze, chuckling under his breath at my expression.

"So," he whispers, his cool breath blowing across my face. "Ready for the best snuggle you've ever had?"

The next thing I know, I'm drawing my legs up towards my stomach and curling into Emmett so I don't hang off the edge of the Jeep. We take a few minutes to situate ourselves in a crooked tangle of limbs beneath the blankets, making sure the other is comfortable before finally settling down. I press my burning cheek against the cool skin of Emmett's chest, feeling the rise and fall of his chest beneath me. He plays with my hair, twirling it between his fingers and smoothing it down my back. We lay in silence, content beneath the night sky.

My body begins to relax, though my muscles remain bunched and ready to spring into action. I nuzzle Emmett's neck and breathe in his scent, letting it fill my brain and send my mind in a crazed spiral. Emmett purrs softly, his dimples appearing. I laugh under my breath, feeling as if I don't need a blanket to feel warm.

And suddenly I'm far away again, floating in a suspended nothingness a million miles away from the burn of fury and the cage of the endless grey skies. Here, the entire universe has rearranged itself, stirring and morphing to shape a a false perfection with Emmett at its core.