a secret love
a rewrite of the original a secret love the beginning is the same but chapter five and later chapters are my own
2. chapter two
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The days went by fast; the nights becoming worse with each passing day without Jasper. Edward stayed every night until I fell asleep, only to return again before I'd wake in the morning. I only knew he left because I would often wake up from nightmares in the middle of the night.
Before I knew it, Friday was here. Edward had been stand – offish all week; his eyes solid like stone instead of their usual liquid topaz. I knew he was just acting; that he thought it would be easier for me if he acted as though he didn't care. I knew he did. I knew it killed him to act that way towards me.
When he broke up with me after school Friday, I forced myself to be heartbroken, but really I was relieved. I could now show how I felt on the inside, what I had been hiding all week. He asked me to promise him that I wouldn't do anything reckless, “for Charlie's sake,” and he in return promised that it would be like he, and his family, had never existed.
He can't keep that promise, though. Even if he took away all of the things that would remind me of them, he wouldn't know to take away my necklace or Jasper's coat. He couldn't take away memories or the house.
He left me alone in the forest and from there I acted solely on instinct. I ran after him. I knew I would never catch him; I knew that it was hopeless, that he wanted me safe, but all I could think about was that he knew where Jasper was. So I ran, tripping several times.
It was dark by the time I gave up. I didn't know where I was and I had just tripped over a log. I just stayed down. I felt like I didn't have the strength to get up. I was tired and I just wanted all the emotions to end. I could feel were the branches of trees and thorns of bushes had give my minor cuts; the bruises from the repeated trips.
Minutes soon turned into hours and before I knew it the moon was over head. I could hear voices calling for someone but I didn't let them register. I just wanted to stay where I was and be left alone.
I was suddenly lifted from the ground by extremely warm arms.
“I got her,” a man called, his voice strangely familiar. Then he started to jog off in whichever direction. Like I said, I really didn't want to leave that spot. The way I saw things my life was over now that he was gone.
He's gone. He was really gone and now there was a hole in my chest where my heart should have been.
In what felt like hours, but in reality could have been just minutes, the person who was carrying me emerged from the forest.
“Bella,” I heard yet another familiar voice called out from a distance.
“She's fine, Charlie,” the man who was carrying me called back to him. Wait, Charlie. Charlie? Dad, Dad... I had to come out of this state for him if anyone. I owed him that. “She just keeps saying 'He's gone,' every once in a while.” Had I been saying that out loud?
“Dad,” I managed, with some effort, to say.
“I'm right here, Bells,” he said to me. “I got her from here, Sam. Thank – you, so much.”
There was an awkward exchange as Charlie took me from Sam's arms.
“He's gone,” I whispered again before I blanked out.
Minutes turned into hours. Hours turned into days, days to weeks, and weeks to months. I did everything mechanically. Went to school, did my homework, talked only when spoken to, worked, and ate only when my body demanded it of me. I didn't hang out with my friends. After homework and/ or work, all I did was write. I wrote songs mainly. They were always about lost love.
Eventually, Charlie got tired of this.
“I think it's best if you go live with your mom in Jacksonville,” he said one day.
“You mean leave Forks?” I replied. “No. I....I...I can't.”
“They're not coming back, Bells,” he said with a sigh.
“I know that.”
“It's not that I want you to go, but this behavior, it's not right. I don't know what to do here. Maybe a change of scenery would do you some good.”
“I'm eighteen now, Dad. You can kick me out but you can't make me leave town. I have a job and I could support myself and find a place to stay.”
“Okay, okay. You're staying here.”
I knew he'd cave if I said I'd just move out. He hated the thought of me being out there all alone. But I knew I wouldn't be staying here after graduation. I'd found three keys left in his jacket's pocket with a note in his elegant script: A little something for graduation. One key was to a car, one to their old house, and one to his secret safe that he had kept in case one, or both, of us had to leave the family.
I'd be moving in there the day after graduation. I had already decided to take all my courses online. He probably left plenty of money to support me for years to come and a vehicle that could go faster than 60 mph at most.
I would only take my personal items with me when I moved, clothes, shower supplies, hygiene materials. I figured they'd probably left most of the furniture there and if they didn't I'd have enough money to buy new stuff. I'd have enough for utilities and food and I would keep my job at Newton's just in case.
That was my plan at least. Not that my life ever goes the way I planned it. If it did then they would still be here and everything would be going just as had since Arizona and James.