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The Emmett Chronicles

Summary:
AU-Twilight- Emmett has been stuck in a coven of mated vampires for seven decades, alone and longing for his own mate. Moving to Forks, Washington was only another step in the monotonous farce in his family's quest to appear human. Little did Emmett know that in this dark and dreary town that he will find his mate-only she's human. M-Lemons & Language


Notes:


2. Chapter 1-Pranks and white Rabbits

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Chapter 1: Pranks and White Rabbits

Emmett

It had been nearly two weeks since our little coven had packed up our personal effects and revisited the tiny, northwest town of Forks, Washington. The seven of us settled comfortably into a large, white house on the outskirts of town, perfectly suited for a family of recluse vampires who required anonymity. With its sweeping glass widows and neatly manicured courtyard, we felt right at home with the opulence of our new dwelling. Which wasn't the case for the majority of our species who still preferred the nomadic lifestyle, our choice of lifestyle and diet afforded us this freedom.

Forks had grown substantially since our last visit, or rather extended stay. New school buildings, paved roads, modern shops, and hundreds of more citizens graced the forested area. Despite my earlier aversion to change, I found myself quite content with my new surroundings. I felt a sense of peace the moment we crossed the county line. For the first time in seven decades, I felt my spirit lighten, a weight lifted, as though something or someone would change the course of my fate. Strangely enough, I knew that something awaited me in this dreary, sodden town and the prospects exited me.

Days after our arrival, Carlisle had applied and accepted a prestigious position at the local hospital, and Esme had resurrected her interior design business, following the enrollment of her five 'children' for our two or three years of wonderful purgatory. School really wasn't entirely dreadful, mundane perhaps, boring definitely, but a necessity, nonetheless. Despite the others' hatred of continually repeating high school, it allowed me the opportunity to revel in my guilty pleasure—human watching. Certainly it was both immoral to unsafe associate ourselves with our natural prey, but regardless of the consequences of such an act, I still enjoyed being immersed alongside the humans. It gave me the opportunity to feel somewhat normal, drink in the simple life rather than fear exposure.

I found being around people was rather cathartic, in a way, to watch the mortals' mill around and enjoy their mundane lives, a plethora of opportunities at their fingertips, prospects that vampires could never achieve. On occasion, I sought refuge amongst them outside of school. Due to our vampiric natures and never aging features, we could never truly integrate into society, and could only live in any one place for a few short years. Yet, even with the threat of exposure constantly looming over my shoulder, I couldn't quell my fascination. While in their presence, I gained a small amount of contentment, a sense of peace that wafted over me. I was home there in the shadows and quite content to stay there.

Women, of course, were indeed my favorite subject to study outside school. Over the years, skirts have slowly became shorter and cleavage more prevalent. What man, human or otherwise, could say they didn't enjoy a beautiful woman with barely there apparel draped across buxom breasts and curvaceous assets? Definitely not me! My only regret in such instances was the change of seasons. Once the warm, lazy days of summer waned the fall brought about the cold front, forcing all those beautiful creatures to cover their creamy, delectable skin—quite a tragedy, in and of itself.

Dressed and ready for the day, I sat propped up against the headboard of my unused bed listening to my I pod, enjoying the hours before sunrise in relative silence and enjoyable contemplation. Scrolling through the plethora of music that was housed on the tiny device, I found something loud and obnoxious to amp me up for the day. Unfortunately, my silent reverie was interrupted by the all too familiar sounds of mewling and moaning from next door.

I ripped the headphones out of my ears and plunked the device down on my bedside table rather forcefully. I dropped my head in my hands and breathed deeply, attempting to quell my body's response to the audible stimulation. Finally, I couldn't handle the cacophony a moment longer and started to bang loudly on the adjoining wall.

I swear to god that I'm asking Esme to move my room. If there's no other room in the damned house, I'll fucking live in the garage, for Christ sakes.

"Un-fucking-believable, you two! It's the first day of school, and I've got a boner. Thanks for that. I didn't want one and certainly can't get rid myself of it any time soon. I can't walk into school like this. Do you know how hard it is for me to hide a boner, Eddie? Nope, I suppose you wouldn't know of such a plight, seeing as though you have such a small dick!

"Rosie you don't know what you're missing. Once you took a ride on Emmett's giant sausage, you would never go back. Perhaps, you should trade up to a bigger and better model!" I stifled a laugh under my breath, knowing all too well that I was treading on thin ice with King fuck-ward and the Ice Princess. I couldn't give a rat's ass, though. I heard several feral snarls before the antics resumed. Damn telepath! Fucking serves him right for wading through my thoughts. He was bound to hear something that he didn't like.

"Emmett! Leave your siblings alone and watch you language, young man!" My mother's words were the catalyst and I broke into loud bouts of boisterous laughter, holding my ribs in an attempt to calm myself. If I could shed tears, without a doubt, they would be streaming down my face.

"Sorry, Esme. I'll do better." I wasn't…really sorry, but how could you say anything unkind towards such a sweet woman?

Edward and Rose would be the death of me. The two of them fucked like rabbits. The honeymoon was over seventy years ago children! I thought, realizing that Edward would hear every word. Rabbits? Hmm. That gave me a wonderfully cunning idea. I couldn't believe that I hadn't thought of it before. I was almost giddy with anticipation. I had to get the hell out of the house before I spoiled the surprise. It had been weeks since I'd gotten in a good prank on anyone. I have been out of sorts, as of late, and haven't spread around any of the ol' Emmett cheer. It was about fucking time I remedied that. Without a second thought, I sprinted down the stairs and took off towards the forest, nearly ripping the door off its hinge in my haste. My loud footfalls and boisterous laughter created a crescendo throughout the house, swirling about the vaulted ceiling.

Just beyond the outcropping of trees, stood Alice, dressed to the hilt in a short, canary yellow Versace dress and heels. (Don't ask me how I know the designer. She's my best friend, obviously it rubbed off!) She had her hands fully planted on her hips with an all too knowing smile pulling at the corners of her crimson lips. Only the little pixie could chase wild animals in six-inch heels and look like a runway model. I should've realized the little sprite would have seen my decision the moment it crossed my brain. Only she knew whether my devious plan would work.

"Emmett, you conniving little shit!" She shook her head, her hand flying up to her mouth to stifle a giggle. "Jas and I were out for a hunt when I saw it. Here I am, my teeth firmly planted in a cougar's throat, and I get this vision about you and two white rabbits. My, my, my! What a clever prank you have concocted in that thick skull of yours. Do you think this is a wise plan? You realize that the two of them will retaliate."

A wry smile broke out across my lips, and I nodded emphatically, wagging my eyebrows. "I don't care, Ali-babe. The prince and princess need to be knocked off their thrones!"

Out of the corner of my eye, I caught Jasper, with a shit-eating grin plastered across his face, as he bound out of the forest with two white rabbits tightly clutched in each fist. The irony of Alice and white rabbits nearly sent me into hysterics. Alice in Wonderland! Ha! I wanted to jump up and down like a little girl, and might have done just that, had Alice not done it for me. After all, I have a burly image to uphold, right? The white beasts, with their piercing crimson eyes, squealed and kicked within my brother's grasp. He held the furry beasts tightly, unwilling to free them and spoil the prank.

"Never bet on the pixie, boy. You will lose every time. Next time we have sex you bettr' think twice about pullin' any pranks. Otherwise, the next time we go huntin', I won' think twice about hittin' you with a powerful wave of lust, resulting in overwhelming urges that must be put to use. Plain and simple, you'll be so keyed up that you'll want to fuck the first thing you see, and bestiality is seriously fucked up, Em," Jasper said proudly, shoving the small creatures into my hands. "You're right, though. Even I'm gettin' tired of our resident royalty's insatiable appetites."

"Fucker, you wouldn't do that to me? Would you?" I scratched my head in frustration. So, not a pleasant thought. I'd prefer to sink my middle leg in something with boobs and a nice ass. No horns, claws, wool, or hooves should be featured in any scenario. I went slack-jawed while I considered the former Major's words. Eww! What the fuck?

"Ah, but he would do just that. Moo! "Alice tapped her temple and smiled, giggling as Jasper swept her up into a tight embrace. The two of them burst into laughter at my disgusted expression. "Brother of mine, you better get a move on with those rabbits! Otherwise, your little prank will fall short, so to speak. Then you better run like hell, 'cause Rosalie will be hopping mad." Oh, the irony of that statement!

I took off towards the house with my furry beasts of burden, praying that the two of them were still doing the nasty. This prank wouldn't work unless the two of them were tangled in the sheets, if you know what I mean. I burst into the house with my rabbits clutched tightly in my fists. Esme and Carlisle were sitting on the couch, tangled in their own sort of embrace, and looked up when I dashed into the house. Carlisle raised his eyebrows, curious as to why I would bring mammals into a house full of vampires.

"Never mind," I whispered, shaking my head and taking off up the stairs as quietly as possible, pleased to hear that the sexy antics were still in full swing.

I stopped right outside their room and stifled a laugh. This would be an epic prank, sure to make a splash. I shifted the animals and slowly opened the door, glimpsing my sister, Rosalie, bouncing up and down on Eddie's kielbasa like a damned pro. Shit! I had to admit that, minus Edward, the sight was aesthetically pleasing. Any naked boobs are good boobs. Too bad that this little intimate scene would soon turn into utter chaos, like a dog running ape shit through a hen house.

I pushed the door open a smidgen more, shoving the animals into the room and swiftly shutting the door. Sprinting down the hall and swinging my bulky body over the second story railing, I landed soft and leonine on the balls of my feet. I sauntered towards the living room at human speed, pleased with myself, but also listening for the chaos that would soon ensue. Carlisle and Esme were standing against the window, staring out into the forest. They turned and gazed over their shoulder with smug smiles on their faces, attempting to stifle their own giddiness. They strode over to me and Esme pulled me into a tight embrace. My parents, for all intense and purposes, were fucking cool.

"Glad to see you're feeling better, son," Carlisle said humorously, clapping me on the shoulder with appreciation. Carlisle might be stoic and stuffy at times, but the man can sure appreciate a good prank. I loved him for that.

Above me the moaning and groaning ended and quickly turned into something akin to a horror flick, with furious growls and shrieking, to boot. Let the games begin, children!

"You haven't lost you touch, dear," Esme snorted, releasing me from her arms.

"Emmett, I'm going to fucking kill you!" Rosalie roared, running down the stairs with a sheet clutched about her naked body and an extremely freaked out bunny in her raised fist. I snorted. Poor thing! Can bunnies have heart attacks?

"Aww. Baby brought her wittle bunny to the sleepover!" I scoffed, busting into laughter at the sight before me.

"You better run like hell!" Carlisle whispered, chuckling loudly as he watched me sprint out the door with fervor.

I've still got it! Score one for Emmett!