Jasper found his everything in Bella. Bella found nothing she desired in Sam. Being stripped of everything she had Bella finds solace with Peter and Char. Can mates separated by hate overcome their haunted past? AU, Non Canon, Jasper/Bella, M for language/lemons
2. Chapter 2
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"Fuck you Jasper! Oh wait, I already did, and look where that got me."
I calmly walked up the steps into the house, and slammed the heavy oak door shut.
I barely made it into my room before I was brought to my knees with panic. I knew I'd made a major mistake letting Pete persuade me to come back. My room no longer felt like a sanctuary with Jasper in the house-the pale cream walls now seemed cold, and the heavy furniture made the space feel claustrophobic. I wanted to run, every fiber in my body was telling me to run, run and don't look back. The problem was that I promised my family that I would stay and one thing I didn't do was break promises.
I made it to the comfort of my bed. The tears started and I cried and cried for what felt like hours. There was a soft knock on my door before I heard it open, and felt the bed dip as someone sat down alongside me. I felt a cold hand rubbing my back and stroking my hair.
"Shhh...you'll make yourself sick." Charlotte's voice was soothing with a tinge of humor. "And you know we're no good at dealing with that."
Despite myself, I felt a snotty hiccupping giggle escape me and I remembered the time I'd gotten a stomach virus. I hadn't lived with them long at all and their revulsion at having to listen to me vomit over and over and over again actually ran them from the house. They've gotten used to it over the last few years, but I still tried to avoid it if I could.
"Sorry," I sniffled as she pulled me in for a hug. I felt safe in her arms and relaxed against her. Safety, security, simple words and phrases...concepts that I no longer thought were really applicable to me anymore.
"We do need to talk Bella," she murmured softly in my hair. "But not tonight, get some sleep and we'll talk when Pete and I get back tomorrow."
I'd forgotten that they were heading to Houston to see their lawyer. Wait, they weren't leaving me alone with Jasper were they? In a panic, I blurted out my question and was quickly reassured that he'd be going with them. Thank you sweet baby Jesus.
The room was too bright when I finally woke up, making me blink. It baffled me for a few seconds, as the sun didn't usually shine into my room in the morning. I reached over and checked my clock, and was stunned to see that I had slept until three in the afternoon. I hadn't slept that long in ages. Usually I was up half the night with nightmares and that's if I could actually get to sleep in the first place. It was odd…knowing I had to talk about my past should have triggered the nightmares, but I'd slept peacefully through the night. Huh, that's strange, I thought to myself as I mustered up the courage to face the day and headed towards the shower.
Oh my bathroom…it's glorious and I'll admit to being totally spoiled by it. It's huge and stockpiled with every relaxing salt, oil, soap, and lotion you can think of. The bathtub itself is a work of art: a huge, copper, tub with clawed feet and one end raised so I could rest my head while I soaked. I wasn't in the mood for a bath today; I was too antsy to relax, and I knew what I wanted to do with my free time, so I quickly stripped off and hopped in the shower.
Walking into the kitchen, I grabbed a cup of strong coffee, a permanent fixture in this house, and noticed a note sitting on the breakfast bar.
Watch out for snakes
The mention of snakes made me laugh; I'd been out near the swimming hole a while ago and nearly stepped on a rattler. Since then, Pete had taught me to shoot and insisted that I always carry a loaded shotgun whenever I left from the house. I told him he was overreacting and being paranoid, he told me to shut it, shoved the gun in my hands, and stalked off…eyes darting back and forth across the ground searching for any other hidden danger. Snickering at the memory, I pulled on my nearly worn out, in other words perfectly worn in, boots and ran outside.
I couldn't keep the smile off my face; the air was warm, the sky was clear without a cloud in sight…it was perfect. The thermometer by the barn read a balmy 70 degrees. Telling myself that the perfect weather was a sign of good things to come, I stepped into the barn and was immediately greeted by soft whinnies. Making my way past each stall, I stopped to greet each occupant with a gentle pat and a carrot. Finally making it to the last stall, I unfastened the gate and stepped inside. An impatient nudge to my back told me that the horse was just as pleased to see me as I was to see him. After giving him a little love and an extra treat, I led him outside and quickly set about grooming and tacking him up.
Dammit, I cursed to myself realizing that I'd left my hat in the house, I should damn well know better by now not to go outside without covering up first. I saw a black Stetson hanging just inside the tack room and feeling too damn lazy to walk back to the house and get my own, I decided to grab that one instead. It was too big, but I didn't really care. At this point all I wanted was to lose myself in the ride in a desperate attempt to quell my rising nerves. As I stepped out of the tack room and back into the barn, I could feel someones eyes on me. I started to feel panicked once again as I looked around to see who was there.
And there he was, a 6' 3" blonde cowboy god clad in only jeans and boots, hidden in the back shadows of the barn. I could feel the emotions pouring off him, primal and raw: anger, hate, frustration…lust. Without warning, he stalked towards me and my breath caught in my throat.
He took the hat from my head, put it on his own, and pushed past me. But instead of marching through the door to leave, as I desperately hoped he would, he slammed it closed and locked it.
"You steal a man's hat, you have to be ready for the consequences darlin'" he snarled, his eyes going black.
A bolt of fear went through me. I had no idea what the consequences were. I tried to swallow but he was suddenly so close to me I couldn't even breathe.
"J-Jasper…" I managed to croak out.
His eyes pierced mine as he growled at me, "Shut up Isabella."
His arms snaked around my back, pulling me close to him. I could feel the coolness of his body through my clothes, the contrast with the heat of the day was incredible. It was everything I'd needed for so long and yet at the same time, this closeness; his touch, his smell, the way his fingers curled into my hips, the slight flare of his nostril…it was everything I'd dreaded since he stormed back into my life. Oh God, it was too much…it wasn't enough.
I was lost in his eyes, and judging by the smirk on his face, he could feel the desire and longing raging through my body.
"What am I to do with you darlin'?" He whispered as he trailed his finger up my cheek and across my lips.
I could think of several things that he could do, that he'd done in the past before he betrayed me. My brain was turning to mush; I wasn't supposed to see him today…he wasn't supposed to be here dammit… he was supposed to have gone with Pete and Charlotte. Although I knew he'd never force me into anything, I didn't dare move in case he stopped. But I wanted him to stop, didn't I?
His hands spanned my waist, gently rubbing and squeezing my overheated flesh. My breath caught in my throat and I couldn't help but sigh at the feeling of him pressing against me, his hardness telling me he was just as wanting as I was.
"You want this, don't you?" he muttered, "you were always so willing, so pliable, so eager…"
I opened my mouth, desperate to say something, anything, to break the spell he had over me. Before I could say a word, his hands gripped down on my arms and he shook me. "I thought I'd told you to shut your mouth," he growled out, spinning me around so my back was to him.
He ground himself against my ass and I couldn't help the wanton moan that escaped me.
"Shush Bella, I'm not telling you again," he whispered, his breath cool in my ear. "If you make another sound you will regret it."
His hand came up and shifted my hair over my shoulders and I shivered at the feel of his cool lips caressing the nape of my neck. I felt vulnerable and had to clamp down on the instinct to fight to him off of me, a battle I knew I'd never win under any circumstances. I just didn't know what to do…I couldn't think straight, the past and the present warring in my head...making me want to succumb to him while at the same time run away screaming.
"Just go with it Isabella, give in to me…you belong to me..."
I could feel him pushing my legs apart with his knee. I tried to clamp my legs together but he was too strong. He tightened his grip on my hair and started pushing down on my neck, making me lean forward.
He was forcing me to submit to him, and although part of me was thrilled, no exhilarated by his dominance, my instincts were screaming at me to fight against it.
I heard a door slam and caught the scent of something rich and coppery. My blood, I realized as I felt it running down my face. I tried to put
my hand up to see where I was bleeding, but I couldn't move. I was frozen on the floor, curled up and lost to the manic and conflicting thoughts and memories running rampant in my mind.
I heard movement outside the door and tried to crawl towards a pile of blankets in the corner, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't move. I tried to make myself smaller and hide in the shadows. I didn't want Sam to find me. Not Sam, I tried to tell myself, this is Jasper and he won't hurt me like that. But I couldn't separate the two in my mind...
Sam wanted me to submit; he hurt me, and left me for dead.
Jasper wouldn't do that to me, I think, but I just don't know anymore…Oh God...
A wave of pain washed over me and I choked on the vomit I tried desperately to swallow down.
I could hear someone saying something, from somewhere, I don't know where anymore..."Bella, where are you?"
Keep quiet, don't move, I kept repeating to myself. How could I face any of them?
I was confused; my past was colliding with my present. "You belong to me," he snarled as he tried to force me into submission.
I had no idea where I was anymore. No...not his, I'm mine, I belong only to myself. I was lost to the pain again, blood was everywhere, and I couldn't help myself as I rolled over and got sick.
Darkness was finally coming, the quiet at last, the pain lessening as grew closer and closer.
I could hear voices again and tried to block them out but they were just too loud. I moved my hands to cover my ears, but it was no use, they were just too loud.
"Shut up, leave me alone", I whispered, my voice cracked and broken.
"You bastard!" I heard shouted close by.
Are they talking to me? I didn't think so but I just didn't know.
"I'll rip you apart if you've hurt her, you fucker", someone growled, closer still this time. I was so scared.
I could feel bright light beating down on my face...it hurts, God it hurts SO much.
Cool arms scooped me up and I felt the wind rushing past my face. Softness underneath me...hands touching my face...
And the darkness finally came...
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- 31 Aug 13
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