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Beginnings

Summary:
This was written for the cupcake contest. Yes, I know, it's very long. Probably too long! But I had this idea and I really wanted to write it! Bella and Edward are arguing about Bella's morality...again. Alice hears them, causing her to have flashbacks of her own transformation. I re-named this. it was recently called Transformations.


Notes:


1. Transformations

Rating 5/5   Word Count 3222   Review this Chapter

“Bella,” Edward said frustrated. I could imagine his face, twisted up in anger, his topaz eyes burning with fury. He would look dangerous, and Bella would be doing her best not to cower in fear.

“It’s for the best Edward,” she replied stubbornly. Her hands would be on her hips, her feet spread apart on his floor to show that she wasn’t going to change her mind. They were having an argument we all heard before and were most likely going to hear many more times in the future. Edward promised her and he was doing his very best to dissuade her from her choice. Her choice to be the ‘Eternally Damn’ as he called it. FLASHBACK

The walls were covered in cobwebs and dust. The floor boards creaked when ever I shifted my weight and the door was poorly set on it’s hinges. The windows were murky, letting no light shine in. There were no furnishing, only a rusty shovel that was broken in two; the splinters were all over the floor. I wondered how I got to be in such a place. I looked at my surroundings again, seeing if they were familiar in anyway. But the only thing I could remember was days of seemingly endless pain. I withered in agony, burning thoroughly. I wanted someone to just kill me so that I wouldn’t have to face another second of pure torture. And my wish came true, but not in the way I thought it would. When I woke up I expected my heart to be beating frantically and sweat to be lining my face. But all I felt was fear and my skin was rock hard, no trace of any wet substance on it. I looked at my body again. I was deathly pale, incredibly skinny, and from the looks of it, very short. There wasn’t a mirror in the shack, so I had no idea what my face looked like.

I looked at my clothes, hoping that they would give me some insight about my past, but they were normal civilian clothes. I frowned involuntarily. Did I at least remember my name? I thought long and hard. Mary Alice Brandon…Was that my name? It was the only one I could remember. Alice…It sounded familiar, and who really cared if it wasn't actually mine? There was no one in the shack with me, nobody to tell me who I was. Who would care what I called myself?

I stood up and started to walk towards the door. The grace of my movements startled me. I stopped immediately, wondering if I was like this before the pain. I smiled to myself and started to walk again. I opened the door and let the rays of sun shine fall in. I shrieked when I saw that my skin was sparkling just like it was made of millions of diamonds. I slammed the door shut and put my back against the wall.

What am I?

I sighed and flipped through the pages of my magazine again. It was filled with images of celebrities hiding their faces, stepping out of limousines. If they wanted to be left alone then why don’t they just drive ordinary cars? Limousines…nothing extraordinary about that, I thought sarcastically. I then shuddered. Why was I letting some egotistical human wearing a fur coat frustrate me? I rolled my eyes and put the magazine on the dining room table, Rosalie might want to look at it later. I sat on one of the many chairs in the living room and closed my eyes.

“I don’t care about that, Edward!” Bella’s voice rang trough out the house, hurting my sensitive ears. “Maybe I want to be devastatingly beautiful! Maybe I want to have a body as hard as granite! Maybe I want to be able to get close to you and not be in fear of getting crushed!”

Edward didn’t respond for a few moments. But when he did, his voice was considerably louder then Bella’s was.

“And what about the blood lust?” he countered.

They better not be doing this for an eternity…

FLASHBACK

I figured it out after a while. My blood lust, the way I was able to move faster then I ever had before, my super strength. No matter how many times I tried to convince myself otherwise, I always came back to the same conclusion. I was a vampire. And I defiantly didn’t like the sound of that.

I sat by a small pond, by body shaking with small sobs. How could this of happened? Why was I a…vampire? What did I do to deserve this? I wondered if I had to stay away from humans. Did I have to drink from them? I knew I wouldn’t be able to do that. Maybe I would have to starve. I buried my face in my hands. No tears came, making me feel more and more like a monster every minute. What human can’t cry?

The burning in my throat was horrible. I knew I would have to…hunt for food soon if I wanted to survive. But how could I ever drink from a human? Just then a deer strayed into my line of sight. The wind was blowing my way, sending the animal’s scent right towards me. Venom flowed into my mouth and my eyes widened. Every fiber of my being was shouting ‘FOOD! FOOD! FOOD!’. It was hard to ignore and my will power crumbled. Using my new found speed, I was at the deer’s throat in mere seconds. Instinct ruled me now. With a knock to it’s head, it was dead before it even hit the ground. I put my teeth to it’s throat and drank deeply. The blood clenched my thirst immediately, leaving me satisfied. When there was no more blood left in it I stood up and surveyed the damage I done. There wasn’t a drop of blood spilled one the ground, but I couldn’t help but feel guilty for what I done. I buried the deer in the ground and moved on.

“I’m not going to be a monster when I’m a vampire, Edward! No matter how many times you say you are one! You are not!” Bella yelled. I could hear her pacing around his room.

“Do you remember all of the human lives I took? Or have you forgotten that I was and still am a cold blooded killer?” Edward seethed.

“You only killed humans that were monsters! You saved many lives by killing them!” Bella said, a little bit of hysteria in her voice.

“How are you going to be able to drink blood Bella?” Edward asked. “You faint at the sight of it! How do you expect to drink it?” Bella was quiet for a minute or two.

“I think I’ll manage.”

I managed. I thought long and hard about my vampirism. Was I a monster? I spent hours pondering this question. But in the end I decided that I wasn’t a monster. A monster kills for the sake of killing. A monster enjoys causing horror and fright in people. A monster doesn’t pity life, he/she destroys it.

FLASHBACK

I was sitting on a rock near a small creek, staring at me reflection. My eyes were red, but they were turning gold slowly. Whenever I smiled my venom coated teeth would flash, making my smile look deadly. I didn’t look like a human at all. I looked like a monster. One that parents would tell their children about as a bedtime story, or as a threat. If you don’t brush your teeth then Alice will come and get you! If I was a human it would scare me.

I closed my eyes, not wanting to think anymore. I was a monster and I couldn’t do anything about it. I probably had no soul either. I shuddered. I wondered what would happen if I died. But that would be impossible. I banged my hand against a stone and it broke easily. What could kill something like me?

Suddenly, my mind went blank and I closed my eyes. I was having another vision. I was surprised when I first had one. It took me a little while to discover what they were. But now I almost enjoyed having them. They were a secret only I knew about.

In my vision I was still sitting on the rock, obviously not paying attention to my surroundings. I didn’t seem to notice when a man walked up behind me. I waited for myself to lunge at him, but then I realized he was a vampire, too. His eyes were blood red like mine were, even though his were defiantly darker. I turned my head to look at him. He was handsome,
inhumanly so. But then so was I.“I see you’re one of those vegetarian vampires,” he said disgusted. In my vision I looked at him funny, not knowing what he meant. “Why do you do it? Going against your nature like that? Don’t you know that vampires are supposed to hunt humans?”he asked angrily like I insulted him.

I just kept looking at him, still confused to what he was talking about. But then I discovered it. My eyes widened and then the vision ended.

I opened my eyes and looked around. The vampire didn’t show up yet and I had a feeling I didn’t want to meet him. I stood up and ran away as fast as I could.

I realized then that he was the monster, not me. He killed humans, I didn’t. He took their life away and didn’t even seem to regret it. I then vowed that I would never turn out like him. I was never going to become a monster.

Their argument calmed down for a few minutes as each of them tried to think of other tactics to use against each other. I rolled my eyes at them. Both of them were arguing because they both loved each other. It was a silly situation to be in. I could see why Bella wanted to become a vampire and I could see why Edward didn’t want her to be one. But Edward was just being stupid. He left Forks to keep her safe, only to come back and then refuse to change her. After putting them both through so much pain, Edward owed her big time.

“You’ll be an outsider!” Edward exclaimed. “Do you know how it feels to only be able to talk to your kind?”

“Hey!” Emmett yelled insulted. “You’re boring, too, sometimes!” I chuckled, just picturing Edward’s face when he heard the comment.

“You won’t be able to do any humans activities without having to restrain yourself for the fear of accidently killing one of them! You will always have to hide who you really are!” Edward yelled, ignoring Emmett.

“Edward, I don’t even like to do human activities now. And what would I do which I will have to restrain myself? Sports? If you don’t know already I’m not very fond of sports,” Bella said irritated.

“Not just sports Bella! Everything! Even just walking down the hall can be a challenge!” Edward said. “School is a nightmare sometimes!”

“Who said we have to go to school?” Bella asked. Edward went silent.

FLASHBACK

It was hard getting used to my new found abilities. I was stronger and faster then humans and I had to learn to control myself, or I would have to live in solitude for the rest of my life. I practiced controlling my strength first. I would pick up a fragile stick and try to hold it with out breaking it. I fumble around with it and try not to make it shatter. I also practiced my gait. I worked on my form, making it as normal as possible. I also worked on restraining my speed so that I could walk at a slow enough level so that humans wouldn’t become suspicious. And then the hardest thing I had to do. Building my endurance for blood. I had to control my blood lust if I wanted to be able to interact with humans. I would set a dead, bleeding deer in front of me and resist as long as possible. It took a while to build enough endurance so I could be around humans. It was hard trying to act like a human, especially because I was far from being one.

“You won’t be able to do human activities! You will miss it after a while. You would want to be able to eat regular food. You will want to be able to sleep. You will want to be able to quench your thirst with water and not have to kill something to do it!” Edward yelled. I could hear Bella stomp in frustration.

“Well, maybe I don’t care!” Bella screeched. I heard Edward’s frustrated sigh.

“You will want it Bella,” he said. “When you get tired of being a vampire, not being able to sleep to pass the time, you will wish that you could. You will want to be able to go out for dinner in public and taste all of the different dishes the restaurant has to serve. When you’re a vampire, all you have is blood.”

“I don’t care,” Bella said immediately after Edward was done talking.

“But you will!” he yelled. I covered my ears with my hands. I was going to have to leave the house or go up there myself and scream at them to shut up. And I didn’t even know what Edward meant. I don’t miss human food. It tastes like dirt.

FLASHBACK

I wanted to be normal. I was jealous of humans. I saw two couples feeding each other and a mother place a bowl of ice cream in front of her child, whose face immediately lit up. I looked down at the ground, wondering if I could still eat food. I doubted it. Why would I need food if I drank blood? But a part of me desperately wanted to find out what food tasted like. Like an experiment. If it tasted horrible, I wouldn’t eat food again. It was simple. But a large chunk of
me wanted the food to taste good, so that I was somehow humanlike. So that I wasn’t completely an outsider.

Before I could change my mind I walked into the nearest bakery and looked for the cheapest thing on the menu. I accumulated a few dollars over the year, so I had just enough to buy a cupcake. It was vanilla and topped with pink frosting. The baker smiled and handed it to me. I gave him the money he asked for. I ran out of the bakery and into the forest. When I was far enough away from humans so that they wouldn’t see me, I looked at the cupcake nervously and bit in.

It tasted like dirt. No worse. My eyes widened and I spit it out immediately. I threw the cupcake into the bushes and gagged for ten minutes. I then killed a deer and drank it’s blood to get the taste out of my mouth. Right then I was glad I wasn’t a human. Who would want to eat this stuff anyway?

Their argument calmed down considerably. I could hear Bella breathing deeply and the floor boards creaking as Edward paced around the room. The seconds ticked by and the tension was thick in the air. I didn’t know why they did it. Bella was going to become a vampire. Edward couldn’t stall forever. Bella was a stubborn girl, and she wasn’t ever going to give up.

I heard Edward take a deep breath, like he was dreading asking the next question.

“Why do you want to be changed into a vampire?” he whispered. I couldn’t believe my ears! Was he blind and deaf?

“Because I love you,” she whispered.

Jasper walked by me then, his eyes looking at the expression on my face. He smiled and then sat down next to me. He slung his arm around my shoulders and brought his face close to mine.

The argument raged on upstairs, but Jasper and I tried to drone it out.

“I wish they would stop doing that,” he said, talking about Edward and Bella. They quieted down a bit, but I could still hear their argument from where I was sitting.

“I still think he’s being silly,” I said, referring to Edward’s behavior. “He loves her! Why can’t he just do this for her! They both want to spend forever with each other!” Jasper sighed and then brought me in close.

“You know how Edward is,” he said, chuckling a little. He smiled down at me and kissed my cheek.

“Why can’t he just get it through his thick skull that he will have to change her sometime,” I said, my frustration getting the better of me. “I know he wants it, too! And-” Jasper put a finger to my lips, silencing me.

“If I was a human, would you change me?” he asked, his eyes boring into mine. I sat there for a few minutes, not knowing how to respond to that.

“Would you want to be changed into a vampire if you were human?” I asked, worrying about what the answer might be. He just smiled and ran his hand through my hair.

“I would do anything to be with you,” he said, his voice velvety smooth. I grinned, turned around and kissed him gently on the lips.

“Me, too,” I whispered. We sat there for a few moments until Bella stomped down the stairs.

“You’re being difficult, Edward!” she yelled. Her eyes were narrowed and her lips set in a frown. She opened the front door and closed it behind her. I heard her annoyingly loud truck start up and then leave the driveway. Edward then walked down the stairs, rubbing his temples.

“She won’t regret being changed, Edward,” I said before he left the house. I don’t, I thought to him. He just stopped in the doorway for a moment and then walked on out the door. I didn’t hear his Volvo purr to life, he must have ran. I rolled my eyes and settled in closer to Jasper. I closed my eyes when I felt another vision coming.

It was Bella. She was gorgeous. Her brown hair flowed down her back, it was shinning. Her lips were a beautiful red and her bone structure was perfect. Her eyes were a fading blood red. Even though I could only see her face, I knew she was a vampire.

I opened my eyes to see Jasper looking at me expectably. I just smiled and stood up. Edward was going to cave. Bella was defiantly going to be changed into a vampire. There was no doubt about it.

“I wonder what power she’s going to have,” I thought out loud. Jasper stood up and walked next to me.

“I hope she can read minds,” Jasper said, instantly knowing what I was talking about. I looked at him confused. “That would bug Edward to death.” I chuckled a few times before walking outside.

“I’m going to go hunt,” I announced. Jasper nodded and then walked up to our room. The air was chilly and the sky was cloudy, typical Forks weather. I knew we weren’t going to stay in this town for that much longer, though. Graduation was coming around the corner.

I ran into the forest, tracking a deer I sensed. After killing it and drinking my fill I looked down at the poor thing. Being a vampire wasn’t exactly luxury, but it was defiantly good enough for me.