My fav quotes! these are FUNNY! '~' is the beginning of one.
~"I feel like pudding. Pudding with nerve eI'm friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a cutter too.
I CHAT, so I MUST be having cyber sex.
I don't like THE SUN, so I MUST be an Albino.
I draw ANIME, so I MUST be a freak.
I hang out with TEENAGE DRINKERS and SMOKERS, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
I wear BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I wear WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm a FANGIRL, so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm AMERICAN, so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I'm WHITE and have BLACK friends, so I MUST think I'm black.
I'm a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
"I just want you to hold my hand."/ "I am holding your hand." /...Oh I knew that...Fang don't go anywhere." / "I won't. I'm here."/ "Okay. I need you here. Don't leave me."/ "I won't."/ "Fang, Fang, Fang. I love you. I love you sooo much."/ "...Oh jeez."-Max and Fang (After Max was given Valium for surgery) from Maximum Ride
"Your just a child!" / "Well your just a teenager."-Zuko and Aang
"My brain is so fantastical!" -Dane Cook
"You die when we die." -Fang from Maximum Ride
excitedly after escaping the Fire Navy fleet"We did it!" /scared to death "Yeah we got into the fire nation...Great!"-Aang and Sokka
"She's a Superfreak! Superfreak!"-Bumblebee trying to tell Sam that 'Alice' is a Pretender (Decepticon) in Transformers 2
"I HATE YOU!" / "NO YOU DOOOON'T!" / "You two are crazy about each other." -Max, Fang and Voice from Maximum Ride
"Yuuki, go find a rope. We'll send him back even if we have to bind him." / "Oh yeah? Catch me if you can!"-Zero and Aidou (Vampire Knight)
"I'M STUPID! I'M STUPID!"-Starscream (G1)
"I'm Madea. Ma to da damn D-E-A."-Madea goes to jail I'm pretty sure. That quote was for my mom!:D
"You set off for one, and come back with two... and-a-half." r13;Alec to Jane as she comes back with Edward, Alice and Bella
"So what's your blood type, baby?"-Aidou
(Talking about the illegal radioactive material dumped in the ocean) "Now what? Who you gonna call?" (Small voice in the hallway outside) "Ghostbusters!" (Captain Perry and John groan) That phrase is ruined forever."Iggy, Captian Perry, and John from Maximum Ride (MAX)
"You know you could die from doing that." / "...Point being?!"-My dad and me
"Bring it kid."-Paul (Breaking Dawn)
"Soundwave! Activate the forcefield!!" / "...What forcefield?"-Megatron and Soundwave (G1)
"If you go one step ahead of me I'll make you cry."-Zero
"I take it you don't want me to call your parents?"/ "Uh, no." Hello lab? May I speak to the test tube please?-Dr.Martinez and Max from Maximum Ride
"I didn't follow you because I was after a promotion!"-Seth Clearwater (Breaking Dawn)
"I bought Satan's Camaro."- Sam Witwicky from Transformers
"If you need to Zero, you can drink my blood! (Blush)"-Chairman
"I guess my brain will never work right. At least I'm pretty."-Bella (Breaking Dawn)
"You...are...a...fridge...with...wings. We're...freaking...ballet...dancers."-Fang from Maximum Ride
"I mean, at least you didn?t bite me or anything. That would?ve sucked."-Seth Clearwater (Breaking Dawn)
"But why is the rum gone?!"- Captain Jack Sparrow from Pirates of the Carribean: Curse of the Black Pearl
"Do it with style, or don't bother doing it."-Jazz from Transformers (G1?)
"There are exceptions to every rule."-Esme Cullen (Twilight)
"That's the spirit-one part brave, three part's fool."-Brom from Eragon
"I'm so pissed off."/ "It's better to be pissed off then pissed on-"/ "SHUT UP!!"-HAHA, me and my step-dad
"There is one bright side to this." / "Yeah? What's that?" / (Grins) "You looooove me."-Fang and Max from Maximum Ride
"You truly are one frightening little monster."-Jasper (Eclipse)
"I hope the F-15's have good aim." /"Why?"/ "I told them to aim for the orange smoke."/(looks right) /"That orange smoke?"/"It wasn't my best toss."/"..."/"RUN!!"-Lennox and Epps from Transformers 2
"Make Bella see sense? What universe are you in?"-Jacob Black
"...So...we're picking up hitchhikers?" / "(Smacks Starscream in the back of the head)"-Starscream and Megatron (Animated Series)
"What I said yesterday didn't mean anything! I love everyone in the Flock! Plus, it was the Valium talking!" / "Uh-huh. You just keep telling yourself that. You looove me." (Max punches Fang) "Pick a tree. I'll go carve our initals in it."/ "AHHHH!"-Max and Fang, after the surgery from Maximum Ride (Hahahaha)
"Your losing me Doc. Can you dumb it down?"-Jacob Black to Carlisle
"Fang! This is a huge break! Or course we should go and check it out!"/ "But we're grounded." /.../ "HAHAHA!"-Max and Fang from Maximum Ride
"You missed the party. Princess theme. She made me were a crown, and then Emily suggested they all try her new make up on me." / "Wow. I'm really sorry I wasn't around to see that." / "Don't worry, Emily has pictures. Actually, I look pretty hot."-Quil and Jacob
"Peace, Love, DIE!"-Hehe, me
"Does Edward know your here?"/ "No, he'd bite my head off."-Bella and Alice in New Moon
"F Shoes!"-Dane Cook
"You gotta blend in like a ninja!"-Skids from Transformers 2
"Like sucks then you die. Yeah, I should be so lucky."-Jacob Black (Breaking Dawn)
"We're locked and loaded."-Arcee from Transformers 2
"Jacob, hold the baby." / "THROW IT OUT THE WINDOW!"-Edward and Jacob at Nessie's birth from Breaking Dawn
"Peace. Love. Party!!"-Hehe, me
"SHUT UP SETH!" / "Shutting.."-Jacob and Seth from Breaking Dawn
"You are so human."/"I know."-Edward and Bella (Breaking Dawn)
(Holding a gun, then loads it) "Ch-Ch BURN!"-Kelso from That 70's Show
"Kind is my middle name."-Jacob Black
(At Judgement Journey, it's sort of like a haunted house) (Looks around at the bloody dieing people and the fire going everywhere and grins) Hey, this isn't so ba-" (Explosion goes off and clings to Sarah) "OH MY GOD!! OH MY GOD!!" / "GET OFF ME!!"-Me and my friend.
. Pudding in great pain."--Iggy
~You're kidding,right? Please tell me you have a stronger motive then 'fair is fair.' Life isnt fair, Dean. Nothing is Fair, ever. That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. I need to help you becasue fair is fair? Try 'I need you to help me so I won't rip out your spine and beat you with it.' I might respond to that. Maybe -Max
~"Yes, well, there's only one problem with that," Rowan said tightly," Ash isn't here. He's in California."
"No he's not," Ash said casually from the back of the living room.
~"Guess what I did last night?"--Taylor
"That's what she said. You bought a squirrel right?"--me
"No, I ATE OATMEAL!"--Taylor
"Um, oatmeal is cool.."--me
"Don't diss the oatmeal."--Taylor
If you love irratating people with these annoying copy and paste things, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think Will Turner and Elizabeth Swann--Disney's PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN-- are made for each other and that, no matter how awesomely awesome Jack Sparrow may be, he should never, under any circumstances, be with Elizabeth, COPY AND PASTE THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!.
If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile
If you have music in your soul, post this in your profile!
"I'm bringing sexy back..." Copy and paste this into your profile if you never even knew sexy was gone.
If you don't have a problem with homosexuals, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think TV Golf is the most boring thing on TV...Copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have an annoying younger--or older-- sibling, please copy and paste this into your profile.
If you were insane, crazy, and/or random, before being crazy, insanse, and/or random was cool, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.
If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile.
I read New Moon and Eclipse and I wanted to kick Jacob Black REALLY REALLY HARD(screw that...I'm gonna knock him SENSELESS until he's DEAD. Especially after Eclipse) -- Then I saw the New Moon Trailer. Taylor Lautner is SO HOT!
When I read Maximum Ride I wanted to kill Fang for not kissing Max sooner. I mean, COME ON!
If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit the freaking Trix, copy this into your profile.
If you've ever run down an "up" escalator, paste this onto your profile.
If you've ever run up a "down" escalator, paste this into your profile.
92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it wasn't cool to breathe. Put this in your profile if you would be part of the 8 percent laughing your butt off
If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile
If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.
If you think Fang is hot...copy and paste this on your profile.
If you were Team Edward until Taylor Lautner came along with his 8-pack, copy and paste this onto your profile. --not really, but an 8-PACK!
If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.
If you've ever tried to put your hair behind your ears and ended up poking yourself in the eye, copy this into your profile.
I'm the kind of person who will burst out laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened...yesterday.
EVERYTHING IN BOLD AFTER THE ~ BELONGS TO ME. COPY AND PASTE IF YOU WISH.
If you're going to criticise someone, first walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticise them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.~ but before that, make sure you have a lawyer.
Last night, I was lying on my bed, staring up at the stars and wondering 'Where the heck is my roof?'~ then I remembered that the bank had repossessed it.
I want to do that thing when you put a map of the world on your wall and put pins in all the places you've been to. But first, I'll have to travel to the top two corners of the map so it doesn't fall down.~ how many times to I have to tell you! The world is a triangle.
Ten percent of people in Britain believe that their food has a party when they shut the fridge door.~the other ninety percent don't own fridges, because of course fridges eat babies.
If you get sent to jail, a friend will bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, "That was so fun. Let's do it again!"~ and her mother will be next to her, saying "Don't tell them anything."
Whose cruel idea was it for the words 'lisp' to have an 's' in it? ~mine.
How is it possible to have a civil war?~ well, you'd be surprised how much mystical power French Fries can have...
Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?~ who notices that?
Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures??~ funny story...
You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it. ~ you have no idea. Ever since that microwave exploded...
Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!~ chocolate chip or oatmeal raisin?
"Wal-Mart, do they, like, sell walls there?" - Paris Hilton.~ actually, yes.
Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.~ I see dead people...
There are three kinds of people in the world; ones that can count and ones that can't count.~ -gasp- THREE? so is the last one, like, inhuman?
I?m not saying you?re stupid, I?m just implying it.~ anything more and you won't be able to comprehend-I mean-you no understand
Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door...~ been there, done that.
Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.~ until the car breaks down. Then you feel like you're in diapers all over again.
You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor.~ obviously, the economy isn't getting any better.
It's always the last place you look...of course it is, why the heck would I keep looking after I found it?~ well there's a very logical explanation for that... I just don't know what it is right now.
When life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS!~ or, just ask Bill Gates to do it for you.
I'm the kind of person that walks into a door and apologizes.~ but not when I walk into a person.
Constipated people don't give a crap.~ or do they?
Music is like candy - you throw away the rappers.~ am I supposed to eat all of the other songs?
1) The Giant Squid is not an appropiate date to the Yule Ball
2) I am not allowed to sing, "We're Off to See the Wizard" while skipping off to the Headmaster's office
3) I am not allowed to take out a life insureance pollicy on Harry Potter
4) I am not allowed to ask Dumbledore to show you the pointy hat trick
5) I am not allowed to give Remus Lupin a flea collar
6) I am not allowed to bring a Magic 8 Ball to Divination
7) I am not allowed to say that Seamus Finnegan is "after my lucky charms"
8) I am not allowde to start a betting pool on this years Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. It's taste-less, tacky, and not a good money-making strategy.
9) I am not allowed to joke about Remus' "time of the month"
10) I am not allowed to make light saber sounds with my wand
11) I am not allowed to give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they're real animals
12) I am not to refer to the Accio charm as "The Force"
14) I will not use my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin-House mascot
15) If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more than 15 seconds, assume that I am not allowed to use it
16) I will not lock the Slytherin's and Gryffindor's in a room togther and bet on which House will come out alive
17) I will not charm the suits of armor to do a rendition of "The Kinghts of the Round Table" for the Christmas Feast
18) I am not allowed to declare an offical "Hug A Slytherin Day"
19) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways
20) It is not nessisary to yell, "BURN!" Whenever Snape takes points away from Gryffindor
21) I will not say the phrase, "Get a Life" to Voldemort
22) First years are not to be fed to Fluffy
23) I will never ask Harry if his Voldie senses are tingling
26) It is not nessicary to yell, "BAM" every time I Apparate
27) I will not steal Gryffindor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to potrol the hallways
28) I will not poke Hufflepuff's with spoons, nor shall I insist that their color's indicate that they're "covered in bee's"
29) "I've heard every joke possible about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge
32) If a class-mate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that and draw a Dark Mark on their arm
33) House Elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers
34) I will not start every potion's class by asking Snape if the poition is acceptable as Body Lotion
35) I will not call the Weasly twins, "bookends"
36) I will not call the Patil twins, "bookends"
37) I will not call the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher Kenny, even if he is wearnig an orange anorak
45) I will not dress up as Voldemort on Halloween
46) It is a bad idea to tell Snape he takes himself to seriously
47) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that The Knight's Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel, then have all the students say, 'Ni' from various directions
48) I am not the King of the Potato Poeple and I do not have a flying carpet
49) "To conqur the Earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not a career choice
THINGS TO DO ON AN ELEVATOR
1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5) MEOW occasionally.
6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly
7) SAY -DING at each floor.
8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.
9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18) DROP a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.
21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.
22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.
23) BRING a picnic basket and ask the other passengers to tea.
Truly stupid things found on other things.
You know you use some of these! Don't Lie!
On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)
On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)
On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(And that would be how?)
On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)(Whose body?)
On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)
On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm...something must have gotten lost in the translation...)
On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)
On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(Somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)
On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this...)
On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)
When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.
You think you're all that and a bag of chips. Well I'm all that and a bag of skittles. So taste my rainbow, bitch.- I love that.
Remember this, if someone is bothering you. It takes 40 muscles to frown, but it takes only three to stick up your middle finger and say, "Bite me Bitch!!"